Potty Training Assistance Urgently Needed

Hi M.! What about a chart? Make a chart with some cool stickers that he can pick out from the store and use them to mark the chart for each successful poop. Positive reinforcement might be the ticket. You can decide after how many times he uses the potty that he gets the choice to the dollar store, pick out a movie to rent, go to McDonald's, get ice cream, pick out a treat... some inexpensive treat. Put the control in his hands (to a degree), and see if that helps. I've noticed that, especially with boys, positive reinforecment seems to be the key. I wish you the best of luck!!

Hi, M. --

I am in no way an expert on potty training, though, to my daughter's credit, she was potty trained by 2.5 yrs... at her own decision. I know this is something that is EXTREMELY difficult to control, since it's really something the little people have to decide they want to do.

Do you happen to have a good travel potty? We had one that collapsed into a briefcase, which used Ziplock gallon-sized bags as "containers," and it was pure magic. We used it everywhere -- in the back of our vehicle, on the go, etc.

My suggestion to you would be to get such a potty - something of a size your son can control, that he can experiment taking with him under the table, in the corner, anywhere HE wants and feels comfortable with, even if he'll just sit on it, to see that he's in charge of this potty training thing.

We used to keep bubbles in the side pockets of the travel potty and our daughter got to sit and blow bubbles while she went. We tried to make it as fun as possible, and much of the time, that worked.

I know that no pooping on the potty is a common issue with kids, so I wish you luck in helping your little man feel comfortable about it. Somehow, he has to be made to feel that this really IS his business and he's in charge of it. We hounded our daughter way too much, trying to control it, and it made her furious and rebellious. She had to just decide she wanted to make the change, and as soon as she did, she was trained. She would even get up in the middle of the night by herself to go potty... at not even 3 years old.

Take care, and good luck!

H.

My son did the same thing. We used a weekly chart with Lightning McQueen for successful pooping on the potty and Chick Hicks for unsuccessful "accidents." You can tailor that for your child's likes. I then took him to Target and we picked out several toys/videos/candy/stickers for small incentives for accident free days and a "Big" toy for 7 consecutive days without a pooping accident. Finally, we hung the chart in front of the potty chair with all the incentives in plain sight to encourage compliance. He took great pride checking off each time he went poopy on the potty and very shortly, it worked.

D., mother of 4.5 yr old boy

Has he ever pooped outside of the diaper?

It's kinda freaky, like a piece of you coming out. That could be a problem. My oldest wouldn't poo on the potty but was walking around and looked panicked...he pooped on the floor and after that he wasn't afraid anymore. Gross as it sounds, it cleaned right up and was worth the one time cleaning as opposed to the every day wiping.

hi, my son was the same way. he was peeing in the potty at 2, but wouldnt poop. i tryed everything. i finaly got him to by going with him. i would put him on the potty seat and i would sit on the big one, and talk him through it. i would tell him to try to poot, he thought that was funny, and that helped too.

I hear that boys are so much more difficult to potty train than girls are. I wouldn't know the easy road... I have 4 boys. One technique that helped was that when we were home (I've always been a stay at home mom) I did not put any bottoms on him at all. just a shirt and socks, and I would turn the heat up a little bit more to make sure he didn't get too cold having a bare bottom. Not having bottoms on will make him more aware of his senses and when he has to go. He used to hold it for as long as he possibly could, would beg me to put a pull up on him (which I refused), and would literally dance around in a circle, his body shaking, trying to hold that poop in until the abosolute last desparate second lol. Then when he realized this thing was coming out whether he wanted it to or not, he would make a mad dash up the few stairs to our bathroom and his waiting potty chair.. and as he would start to sit over his chair, the poop was already coming out! Then he'd realize, hey this wasn't so bad! My twins were even more difficult and would hold it for days. I would feed them prunes, telling them that they were big raisins... trying to help the process along. We had all the books from the library to read, sang potty songs that we would make up while sitting on the potty, etc. In the end... the most effective technique for them was candy! I had mini m&m's for potty, and bite sized snickers for poop. I had them in a jar right in the bathroom, so that they could see what they would get for their successful accompishment. It helps if you know when he goes to hide to do his business... try to keep a very watchful eye on him. When he is suddenly quiet under a table... get him to that potty chair. Reading is usually relaxing, so have some child potty books handy. Have the reward right there in his sight. The rest should fall into place.

Best of luck to you! =)

S.

Hi M..

I am potty training my 3 year 10 month old grandson right now and he was reluctant to go poop on the potty too. Each time he went to potty, when he finished peeing, I would have him try to poop. He would grunt and push. He didn't like doing it at first, but I told him he had to try before he could get up and get dressed. Yesterday when he went to hide to poop, I firmly told him he was much too old to be pooping in his big boy pants and that he needed to tell me the next time he had to poop. Right in the middle of lunch, he did just that. We ran to the bathroom and sure enough, he did it! I'm a firm believer that potty training should not be a fight, but just as sure the child needs to know what you want. And, I think the practice pooping helped him know he could poop in the potty just as easily as he peed. I hope this helps!

My daughter did the same thing. She would pee in the toilet, but absolutely refused to go anywhere near the bathroom or potty seat (which we put in front of the tv) if she had to poop. I got VERY frustrated with her. It doesn't help either of you. As difficult as it is, just let him outgrow it. If he can't get into the big boy room at daycare until he poops in his pants, then so be it. Eventually he will decide that it's okay. Just be patient and try not to make a big deal out of it. Good luck!!

Use a reward system if he poops on the potty. Ex. a piece of candy like an M&M , stickers, a fun activity or place to go, time to read with a parent, time to spend with a friend. One-on -one with a parent or sibling to make cookies or whatever. I had this with my daughter. She still wears pull ups at night. Sometimes she goes either in the morning or afternoon. She still wakes up with a dirty diaper also during the week. It will change sometime. She has basically just started with school in Sept. telling us when she has to go potty vs. us watching the clock and taking her every two hours.

Good Luck.
J. R.

In my experience, boys (for some odd reason) are in no rush to be completely potty trained. If your son has a pretty regular potty time, I would take him to the potty (about every half hour during his regular time) and wait there until he does something (poop or pee). Try as he may, we won't be able to hold it if he really has to go and he is sitting on the potty.

Once he poops in the potty, make a big deal about it! Praise him for a job well done and give him a big hug and a high five (after everyone washes their hands:~)for being such a big boy!

One of my daughters hated brushing her teeth and I did the same thing. Because of my excitment, she became excited and did it all on her own. She would come to me to tell me that she did it by herself. Your son will be excited (even if it doesn't start out that way) because of your excitement and praise of him.

Wishing you both all the best!

Everyone seems to have some great suggestions. I tried hundreds of things with my little boy until i realized that he will do it when HE is ready. I put him in underwear and told him that when he needed to go poo, he could go on the potty or i would put a diaper on just to poo in, then back to underwear. I stopped nagging, begging, bribing - it took 9 days. He walked in sat on the potty and did it himself and has been totally potty trained ever since. Relax, He will do it WHEN HE IS READY.
Take care, J.

It is very unusual for a child at 3.5 to poop on the potty, but not impossible. Most are afraid because they can't get in a good position to push and it is a new position for them. You are fortunate that he will boop. If he asks for a pull up to boop in, I would give it to him. The average time to go from peeing on the potty to booping is about a year. The good news is that he is not constipated or worst yet withholding.
Good luck, it will happen

My son did the same thing. I finally took him to the pediatrician, who told him he was too big to go poop in his pants and he needed to use the potty. He did it that day and forever. Find a nice authority figure to have a talk with him. This may work, it may not. But it is easy.