Potty Training advice...HELP!!

Hey C....

I too have a 2 1/2 year old "princess". I am still in the process of starting the potty training...but had a bad run in with a serious case of constipation...which created bad thoughts with potty training, so have backed off for a few days. I have potty trained our son however, and got tons of advice.

I think the biggest thing that worked, was to take diapers and pull ups completley away, except for naps/night time. Just have her wear underwear all day long. You'll want to get LOTS for accidents, but it works...and FAST! You'll probably have a rough first couple of days, but then it should start getting better.

One thing we do is set an egg timer for an hour, and have her try every hour...that's why it's good to do it during a time when you will be home for several days in a row.

We also pretend the princesses on her panties are talking to her, which she thinks is so much fun, and they say things like "please don't let us get wet" "we don't want pee pee on us" and she'll try her hardest not to do it.

Hopefully that helps! Let me know if you have any other questions, and how it goes! :)

K.

C., What you are doing now is potty training. Sounds to me that she is well on the way for daytime continence. I agree with Kristy and Kara who suggested putting her in panties, especially since she doesn't like to be wet or poopy. I predict that she'll mostly be trained for daytime urine not long after you do that. Especially if you add positive attention to her for doing remaining dry. I really like Kara's ideas in regard to the timer and the talking panties. Never criticize her for her accidents. She is not only just learning but her sphincter muscles may not be developed enough for total control.

It takes longer for being able to control poop and longer to be able to stay dry all night because of the muscle control these two take.

Our society has so many emotional issues tied to potty training. What is important is to relax, make it easy for your daughter to use the toilet or potty chair and know that she will be trained. As several people have said, "they have never seen a child start school who was not trained."

Potty training can be stressful for both mother and child. We don't like to clean up messes and we want to do it "right." There is no "right way." It's whatever works for your child.

Both of my grandchildren continued to wear pull-ups to bed until they awakened in the morning with dry ones several nights in a row. The night time dryness is not under the conscious control of the child. It is the result of matured sphincter muscles. Even when they stopped using pull ups the would sometimes have "accidents." You can put a waterproof barrier over their sheet.

Let her wear panties during the day and give her a diaper at night. Reduce fluids before bed, and maybe that will help with the leaking at night. Lots of kids take longer to potty train at night. Although I'm pretty sure they should be able to stay dry on "most nights" by the time they are 3.

Just put the undies on only during the day she'll get it figured out. Girls are so much easier then boys. but then my last child didnt train til she was 3 and a half...uggg but she was the baby of the group...hahahaha just let her wear them during the day and ease into to nights. You can expect to do the sheets and bedding though but its all part of the fun potty experience.

Night time is almost always the last step in potty training, it sounds like she's very ready and I think you should go at it full force. Try to use only underwear at home and if she is in daycare, talk to them about it too. When i potty trained my son, he wore only underwear at home and daycare, he had several accidents the first couple weeks. just make sure to keep changes of clothes around where ever you go, take several extra outfits to daycare or babysitters. At first I only used pullups at night and when we went out on errands, and I would still take him to the bathroom every time we stopped at a store or restaurant even if he didn't have to go. I think for night time, its extremely important not to let her drink anything for atleast 3 hours before bed and make sure she goes before you put her down for the night and has a fresh clean pullup. I also did the underwear over his pullup and constantly through the day i would talk to him about it not being ok to pee in his underwear, although, if he did have an accident, i did not punish him, i would just tell him thats its important for him to pee in the potty instead. Make sure whoever else watches her at anytime, follows the same rules as you with this, consistency is the key. It only took about 2 1/2 months for my son to be fully potty trained, he now goes by himself and even wipes himself, and i just started potty training him less then 4 months ago!!
Good luck.

Hi C.,
Easter morning, I decided that I had had enough. I woke that Sunday and took my daughter straight to the bathroom. She pottied and we praised her. That whole entire day she didn't potty on herself. Two days later, she was fully potty trained and even at daycare. I don't really have any advice accept don't use pull-ups. I feel like they are a money suck, toddler deceiving, confusing little thing that causes problems and causes kids to never really quite get it together at night time.

I will tell you this though, my daughter towards her training days did have wetter diapers at night. Which confused the heck out of me, because my sons training seemed a little different. So I set my alarm and took her in the middle of the night for the first week, and then she told me one night she didn't have to go pee and I stopped waking her up. And she's probably only had two accidents since Easter Sunday.

Hi C.,
I have a 3 1/2 year old who went through the same thing. My daughter started daytime potty training when she was just over 2 and has done really well. I quicky lost the pull-ups during the day and put her into panties only because she immediately realized that pull-ups are as absorbent as a diaper and she would not always tell me if she had to go. When she started having wet clothes from her panties, she realized that it didn't feel good. I did a lot of laundry in the beginning but that's OK, she has done a fantastic job over the last year. She goes potty right before nap time and does fine in her big girl panties without accidents. Night time has taken a full year to overcome. At first I used night diapers which are extra-absorbent. We then graduated to pull-ups as her body matured and she seemed able to make it longer without an accident. (Always going potty right before bed and just a teeny bit of juice or water in the hour before bedtime)Finally, at about 3 1/2 it was like her body finally made the transition and she has not had any night accidents in quite a while. More than anything, it seems that as much as we want our little ones to master the potty, sometimes it is just a matter of having the patience for their physical development to catch up with what we/they are trying to achieve :) I know every child is different, so this is just an idea of what we went through. Hope it was helpful and GOOD LUCK!!

Sounds like daughter and mom are on the right track, in my opinion. Sometimes, even though the child may be think she is ready for the potty, her body isn't quite there yet. Just be patient. The nighttime bed wettings are out of her control, for now. You may help by making sure she doesn't drink a ton of water before bed and having her empty her bladder just before bedtime.
Actually, I think you are a lucky mom. At least your daughter is eager to use the potty. My kids didn't want to have anything to do with it! Hang in there for another 3 - 6 months.

The best thing I can say is the first week is the worst. Be prepared for several changes of clothes as she gets used to it. It is pretty normal to use pullups at night while in bed for kids and I have known many children who wear them for a few years after potty training. What may also help is stop giving drinks the last 30-60 minutes before bedtime so that their body has a chance to "empty" before going to bed. Overall, I think you are right. She is ready and will figure it out along the way.

As the other responses said, it sounds like your daughter is ready for daytime underwear. I did want to say that night time dryness is completely physiological; there is nothing you can do to help her at night time except reducing fluids. Her body has to create the signals to the brain to stay dry. I didn't know that at first with my daughter and it was distressing to her to have an accident in the night even though we were calm and supportive about it. Now we just use a pullup at night as her body just isn't ready yet. Daytime is completely different however. Children are capable of being daytime independant fairly early, but it depends on the child. It sounds like yours is ready for that and you're already doing great things to encourage her.

My son was easy, he didn't take a liking to the potty chair until we pushed it into the family room where we all hang out and that is what did it. My daughter who came next, was hard. She went back and forth forever. I bought a book called Princess and the potty. It told of the royal family bringing every beautiful potty that the towns' people could make and she rejected every one. Other situations happen in the book but not until her mommy was getting dressed and she saw what was underneath her long skirt did she change. She asks her mommy what those beautiful lacy things were and her mommy responds,"pantilettes." and takes her shopping for some that are in her size. We gave our daughter a new pair of 'pantiletettes' every time she pee peed on the potty until she had enough to make it through a few mishaps and that is what did it for her. So since your little girl is a princess as is mine, maybe you two should make a date for a book store and get that book. My daughter still calls her Hello Kitty and misc. character pants, pantalettes. After that I made a little box, just as I did for my son that I call Mommies magic treasure chest. Filled with little toys, or mints,stickers or whatever they like and the magic part is that it is always full. And for every hard step my kids have made, potty training, going to school,etc. They get a pick and it makes that task a little bit easier. And sometimes I give them a pick just because I feel like it, which is magical to them, and cost efficient for me because I am prepared instead of spending too much money on a treat. My son is 9 and that still works. Good luck, keep enjoying those kids. It is encouraging to read your love for them. H.

C.,
My son was the same way about being dirty and all that so what I did was go out and buy a bunch of underwear for him and at the start of the next day made him wear them instead of his training diaper. I told him he couldn't go pee pee in them and he didn't. After the second day of it I didn't even have to ask him if he needed to go, he'd just go in there all by himself. I figured that if he did go in them that he would hate it so much and never do it again. It took him a long time to not wear the training pants at night. I guess the best thing to do is limit the amount of liquids before bed and make sure she goes right before. My son just eventually got the hint that he was supposed to get up.

Hope that helps some.
K.

She sounds very ready to try and potty train. What worked for my boys is lollypops. Many people don't like using food as a reward, however i tried everything else and this is the only thing that worked. Everytime they went potty in the toilet, they got one lollypop. The small dumbell ones. The other thing to remember is put her on the potty every hour. That way she has the opportunity to go if she has to and doesn't remember. Once she realizes the feeling of having to go, then she'll be able to go on her own. Sounds like she is already starting that. I used plastic underpants for them because we had carpet. If you don't have carpet I would just let her wear regular panties, but be prepared for lots of laundry for the first couple of weeks. With lots of encouragement and understanding when she has accidents, you'll have her using the potty soon. An alternative to lollipops is skittles or m&ms, one after every time she goes. If you don't like using sweets, my friend's daughter loved stickers. So her and her daughter went out and picked out special potty stickers and a sticker book. Every time she went potty she got to put a sticker into her sticker book. It worked great for her. Another of my friends tried this: Her son wanted superhero undies. So she made a chart and everyday he had no accidents, he would get a gold star. At the end of the week, if he had at least 5 out of 7 days he would get one pair of superhero undies. It only took her 2 weeks!!! Just some ideas. Now if you could get your daughter to talk to my daughter, we would be in business. My youngest is 3 and absolutely refusing to potty train. At all! She wants to stay in diapers and cries when we put her on the potty. So, count your blessings!! Good luck!