Potty Training a Stubborn Little 28 Month Old Girl! Any Tips for Me?

she's trying to tell you that she's not ready.

6 moms found this helpful

She simply isn't ready, and I disagree with Julie, it isn't a matter of discipline. Your daughter is the only one who can control when she goes on the potty and when she doesn't. Wait a few months and try again, no point in frustrating the both of you, when she is ready, it will be fast and easy.

4 moms found this helpful

She's not too big to be in diapers. She's barely 2.
She's not ready , BACK OFF , the more you push the harder she will resist.
Just because you are ready doesn't mean she is.

http://www.jblmmwr.com/NPSP/POTTY%20TRAINING.doc.

Here are the signs from the AAP
• Your child stays dry at least 2 hours at a time during the day or is dry after naps.

• Bowel movements become regular and predictable.

• Facial expressions, posture, or words reveal that your child is about to urinate or have a bowel movement.

• Your child can follow simple instructions.

• Your child can walk to and from the bathroom and help undress.

• Your child seems uncomfortable with soiled diapers and wants to be changed.

• Your child asks to use the toilet or potty chair.

• Your child asks to wear grown-up underwear.”
Here's another site of behavioral and physical signs she's ready
http://www.babycenter.com/0_potty-training-readiness-chec...

4 moms found this helpful

Sounds like she is not ready. When I know my youngest boy understood the concept, but did not want to try, I got a special toy I knew he really wanted, and I put it up on the bathroom shelf, and told him that once he was using the potty like a big boy every day for a week, he could have the toy, it worked like a charm.

3 moms found this helpful

My son is 27 months old and doesn't want a thing to do with it either. I learned from potty training my daughter that it isn't worth the fight. Just wait until she's ready. I continue to bring it up casually to my son and he has sat on the potty several times, but hasn't gone in it and that's just fine with me. Yes, I would love for him to be out of diapers, but I also know that pushing him, especially since he is also a bit of a strong willed kid, will just backfire on me. I say let her do it when she WANTS to do it or it's bound to be an uphill battle all the way. I wish you luck in whatever you choose to do!

3 moms found this helpful

what you want and what she wants are two different things... you can't force her to be ready just because you are. my son didn't and wasn't trained until the age of three. why rush her....time goes by fast enough without rushing your child thru life!!!

3 moms found this helpful

she isn't ready yet let go don't force her she is only 2....she is letting you know in her own way that she isn't ready to be potty trained...

3 moms found this helpful

I also agree with Nancy B. Just because you want it, doesn't mean she's ready. She's saying it pretty loudly! lol

2 moms found this helpful

You WON'T win this one

2 moms found this helpful

Girls, as a group, are earlier and easier, but there are plenty of individual exceptions within any group. Some girls don't train until 3.5, or occasionally even later.

So, you have had some hands-on experience with the problems presented by bribery. And since you're describing a spirited child, I predict that if you start training because YOU want it and not because SHE wants it, you will both be in for months of frustration. If you identify her as the stubborn one with the problem, that will more than likely put the two of you at unnecessary emotional odds. Which often has the unintended side effect of dragging the whole process out longer that it needs to be.

Every family I've known has had the best results with waiting until the child wants to train. And they do, just like they want to learn to walk and talk. It's excellent to talk about potty training and how the body functions, it's great to play potty games with toys, puppets, and occasionally the child, it's great to read books and watch videos, to let her watch you use the toilet, to observe how much easier time she'll have when she learns to use the potty and doesn't have to stop for diaper changes. (I thought of this rather pleasant stage as "pre-training" with my daughter.)

And at some point, she'll start asking more questions, indicating that she wants to try, perhaps even sitting on the potty herself. She'll probably ask for big-girl panties. That's when you can let her know you'll help her remember; let her help you work out a plan so she's got some control, and go for it. Kids will often train in a matter of days at that point, with fewer misses every day.

Children who are ready for this step forward generally take tremendous pride in the accomplishment. Children who are pushed or punished into it tend to become irritable and resistant, or even worse, begin to feel a sense of failure and frustration.

It will be good to be aware that she may not be able to poop train or achieve night dryness at the same time as pee training.

2 moms found this helpful

She isn't ready; you are, but she isn't. Take a deep breath, back off a little, and don't turn this issue into a power struggle (which is what it is right now!!!). My daughter was 3 before she was trained; each child is different. Tune into her 'rythmns', and you'll both be a lot less stressed. I also disgree with the moms who said this is a discipline problem -- no it's not. Oh, I would also not use food or candy of any type as a reward, could lead to problems of overeating later on. Use a small toy, or extra priviledges, etc.

2 moms found this helpful

Hi there,
This must be a difficult thing to deal with. But, it does sound like she has the upperhand in your relationship. She may be strong willed....but your the mom. First of all, I would loose the diapers...period. No more, you'll have to take a few days of staying home and have the fight of her wearing the underwear.(and dealing with accidents) When I started potty training my daughter, I used a potty that made music when the pee hit the bottom of the seat, and I put the potty in whatever room she was in for convience. I slowly moved the potty closer and closer to the bathroom until it was actually in the bathroom. I only used rewards when she started pooping in the potty.
Your really going to have to be tough, stick to your decisions and never back down. She will repect you more in the end, and eventually, the indepedence will make her happy as soon as she has conquered the toilet.
I also have an on-line book that I can forward to you. Email me at ____@____.com, and I'll send it to you. (and anyone else who might need it) The book gives a little insight on what the child is going through.
She's old enough to at least be 1/2 potty trained so it's time to get tough!!
No more diapers!! (except for bed time of course) Maybe you should switch to Pull Ups at night, that way she can pick out which ones she wants.
Good luck to you and I hope to hear from you soon.

2 moms found this helpful

I'd suggest taking a break for a bit and spend your energy together focused on things you enjoy. We all promise that, as long as everyone remains healthy, by the time she graduates high school, even starts kindergarten, this will be a memory and she will have the skills she needs to succeed in going potty and staying drive. Step back and you'll move forward easier.

Good Luck.

2 moms found this helpful

Nancy B. couldn't have said it any better

1 mom found this helpful

I feel your...um, pain, frustration!! I have twin boys (born at 30 weeks, their due date should have been in late Dec. but they arrived early Oct.). who will turn 3 in Oct. but are starting preschool in 10 days (only 2 1/2 hrs, 2 days a week) but are supposed to be potty trained...ugh!! I have been working on this for a few weeks. I did the naked thing, I did the 3 day naked/underpants thing, I have DONE everything I can and I realize they ARE READY, but just don't feel like it (cuz they do it when they want to). I had great advice from a friend (she had a girl, which is a bit different than a boy) she said that she went to a craft store and bought a bin with a lid. Her mom decorated the lid and her daughter and her decorated the outside of the bin with glitter glue/stickers, etc. Then her mother filled it up with her favorite things, dollar lip gloss and dollar nail polish from Target/Dollar Store. I made my own bin for my boys with BIG items for poop in the potty (still dollar items from Target but they are Tigger and Pooh items which my guys LOVE) and pee prizes (bulk stickers that I put in snack size zip lock bag ~ only 3 stickers in each but animals that they liked) along with healthy treats in small portions (again in ziplock bags) and when I way healthy I mean WonderPets fruit snacks in individual packs and other things...not just A SINGLE FRIUT SNACK (i have a neighbor who has a child that will turn circles and do cartwheels for A M&M...whatev, to each his own.
but this pee and poo bin with the items in it (big for poo ~ and something they like very much for pee) seems to be working well.
I also have stickers (from walmart that came in a large bag and i divided them up into 4 in each snack size bag) but thought the boys would go for the sweets. I gave them each a large page from a favorite coloring book and was suprised when my son chose stickers to put on his potty color page than pick a sweet :)
Anyway, good luck...I hope this helps a bit

1 mom found this helpful

Hi J., it sounds like to me that you are giving her to much control in this area, it really should not matter at this point what she wants or does not want to do, you are the parent and it's your job to raise her to obey you. Discipline is really needed here, the 18 month old in my daycare tells us when she has to pee, neither girls or boys are harder, it's the method being used by the trainer. I have been potty training children in ky daycare now for 13 years, successfuly before or at least by the age of 2. My own were 21 months (son) 19 months (son) and 22 months daughter, it's really not that hard if you establish who is in control and in charge and who isn't J.

Updated

Hi J., it sounds like to me that you are giving her to much control in this area, it really should not matter at this point what she wants or does not want to do, you are the parent and it's your job to raise her to obey you. Discipline is really needed here, the 18 month old in my daycare tells us when she has to pee, neither girls or boys are harder, it's the method being used by the trainer. I have been potty training children in ky daycare now for 13 years, successfuly before or at least by the age of 2. My own were 21 months (son) 19 months (son) and 22 months daughter, it's really not that hard if you establish who is in control and in charge and who isn't J.

back off. Tell her when she is ready to stay clean and dry, THEN she can choose to wear the pretty panties with princesses on them. Then just put her in a diaper and don't try again. You can talk to her about it "when you are ready, you can wear the panties and use the potty, look, your friend Jane is going to the potty. I bet she decided to wear her panties with princesses on them!" BUT don't ask her if she wants to wear them today, etc. One day, she will and she will be potty trained in a day.

I just want to say you can do it. I know how hard it can be. I have 4 kids and potty training is one of the hardest thing to do. But it is so worth doing early. My son was 18months and the 2 girls 25 months. My 20 month old daughter is training right now. There are so many people with the advice about this subject. You know your daughter and you have to do what's best for you and your daughter. I just know when my older daughters were 3 they were even more opinionated and stubborn I could not imagine potty training them. The only tip I can give is don't let it get to you when she doesn't go. Be excited with all the little steps she does take. She'll get there. The other thing is, one teacher told me about asking them the question after they did something good. "Are YOU proud of YOURSELF?" That one question worked with my oldest daughter. Instead of me telling her how proud I was of her. Knowing she could be proud of herself made her Happy. And for girls it's all about them and how they feel. Again, good luck and keep up the good work.

Stop for now. Try again in a few months. My girls were both nearly 3 1/2 when they trained.

Shortly after my daughter turned two I decided that she should be potty trained. So one day I put her in underwear and set my timer for every 20 min. to take her to the potty. She peed fine but poop was a different story, there were temper tantrums, hiding behind couches, pooping in her underwear - this lasted for 2 full days and I was pooped. I was tired of fighting so I dropped it and put her in back in diapers and continuously told her that when she was ready to wear underwear again to let me know. She is now 32 months and she is potty trained as of 2 weeks ago - during the day and at night. She came to me and said she wanted to wear big girl underwear..I told her she had to use the potty. And she said OK and she did it. There were a few accidents in that first week - especially sleeping at night - but other than that she did really well. What I learned is that it was just easier on me to not fight her. I was less stressed and therefore - I felt - a better mom. That was my take on it. I think potty training will work either way - with lots of discpline or wait til there ready..but I took the route that was least stressful for me. I have enough stress - I didn't need to add another one.