Potty Training a 4 Year Old at Night

The thing is, you cannot "train" them for night - it's just something that their body has to develop and they don't have a whole lot of control over it. There is a hormone that our bodies produce that naturally causes us to concentrate our urine more at night, so we are not having to go pee every couple of hours. But very small kids don't have this hormone yet, and when it kicks in varies from child to child. My cousin's daughter was still in pull-ups at night at 5 years old and even until 8, still sometimes wet the bed at night. She really couldn't help it. She also has a relatively small bladder so she naturally has to go more often, even during the day.

Realizing that you don't have any control over this hopefully will help you all to stop stressing over this any longer, and know that it will happen when it happens. Keep your daughter in pull-ups until she is waking up dry in the morning consistently and let her know it's okay, everyone gets there eventually and she will too - it's nothing she can help right now and she doesn't need to be living up to anyone's expectations when she doesn't have any control over it anyway. Her preschool teacher shouldn't care what is happening at night as long as she is in underpants during the day and able to manage at school. Right now still wetting at night is totally normal. No reason for your little girl to feel bad or ashamed about it.

No such thing as potty training at night! You can get her up every 3 hours, but then everyone is just going to be exhausted and you really haven't taught her anything. Interesting about the preschool teacher. I'd have a talk with her. She needs to stay out of your business with this one. Both of my girls have had trouble staying dry at night. One was potty trained at 2 1/2 (almost zero accidents) but could not stay dry at night until she was almost 8. Other daughter was 3 when she potty trained (again, no accidents during the day) but she STILL has trouble staying dry at night, and she is 8 1/2. It's physiological. Some kids are NOT ABLE to do it. Trust me on this - my 8 year old wants desperately to be dry at night. She tried everything (stops drinking at 7pm, etc.) It breaks my heart actually. She refuses to go on sleepovers until her body cooperates. So, no sticker charts or rewards will help her. She doesn't need a reward. She just wants to be dry and her body cannot do it. If you end up with a child like this, please know that you are not alone!!

I've also heard that it depends on each kid and that their body has to be ready. I had read that for a lot of kids it doesn't happen until around 5 years old. My daughter is 3-1/2 and four months ago she started waking up dry all of a sudden, so we switched to panties at night. She had three accidents the first month, two the next month and none after that. She was just ready, but I wasn't going to worry about it until she was at least 5. Listen to your pediatrician, and when your daughter wakes up dry several nights in a row, then switch her to panties. It's not worth the hassle of waking her up every few hours if she's not ready.

We are in the same boat with my 6 year old. Let it go. It will happen when her body is ready.

I would have a little talk with that preschool teacher about unreasonable expectations. It's none of her business when your daughter night trains. Why would she even discuss this with your daughter? Bizarre. IMHO, there's not really such a thing as night "training." They're ready when they're ready. It's not unusual for a kid to still wear an overnight until age 7. Give her and yourself a break.

It will happen when she is ready. My son will be 5 in august and i thought he was never going to night train!! He was soaked every morning and suddenly about a month agao he just started staying dry out of the blue! We were so excited. I never pushed him as i knew it would happen eventually. I did talk to him about it that he needs to go potty right before bed and if he wakes up and has to go its ok to come get mommy. Finally now he is trained. Dont push just give it time. I figure as long as its at night its no big deal. She will get there.

Don't bother getting her up at night- it won't work, and don't listen to her preschool teacher! When her body's ready, she'll be dry. I've known people to do a trial in underwear at night; with two of them, their daughters stayed dry from then on at night, but for us, at least, we ended up changing a lot of sheets. We're back to diapers at night (4.5 y/o), and he knows that his body just isn't ready to stay dry at night, even though he really wants to get rid of the diapers/pullups. It's going to happen, but don't rush your gal, and don't make her feel bad about it! Her preschool teacher should be ashamed of herself for expecting something that your girl can't control.

I say let it be until she has at least 4 dry nights. Back to pull-ups until she wakes up dry. One day, our son just started waking up dry, so we started talking to him every night about waking up when he feels like he needs to pee and calling us to come get him or he could go to the bathroom on his own. We explained how we had set up night lights for him, etc. It went great! He totally caught on super fast and we felt like we were going to avoid the whole nighttime potty training debacle.

A week ago, he suddenly started wetting the bed again. We are too far past pull-ups now, but after 5 straight nights of having to change the sheets in the middle of the night, we have pulled liquids and have talked to him every night and wake him up in the middle of the night.

Point of my story - even though our son had gone through the night dry for well over 3 weeks, we've gone a bit backwards. However, he did start with dry nights.

IMO, your daughter just isn't ready yet. Until they can wake up dry for a few nights in a row, I don't think they're little bodies are ready. This isn't about her making her mind up, her body has to be ready and then you get the mind prepped. Does your daughter sleep heavily? Our son does and we think that's what happened when he regressed a bit. But, we talk a lot about getting up in the middle of the night, about telling your brain to wake you up when you need to go pee, about calling us if you want company when you get up, about how we all get up in the middle of the night to go pee too, etc.

Once the body is ready, then lots of little talks right before bed (I think) gets the mind prepped for what needs to happen during the night.

Good luck & as with daytime training, the key is low stress training.

-S.

OMG, My 4 yr old DS is no where close to training at night. I still can't get through a whole day with him not refusing to potty at least once.

I think you just have to wait it out. You can keep getting up, but unless she wakes up because her own body is telling her that she needs to go, there's no point. You're just training her to wake up and try to force it. Not to respond to her own physical needs. So I would stop sleep depriving yourselves and let it be.

My plan is to wait until DS is dry. For boys, I've heard that 5-6 is normal, so I'm not concerned. She'll do it when she's ready.

There is no such thing as night time potty training.
When her body is ready/developed, she'll have dry nights.
Until then, you're fighting a losing battle.
So layer waterproof pads & sheets and make it easy on yourself.