C.M. asks from Warren, MI on January 06, 2008
Potty Training - Warren,MI
Okay, here's the situation...My 3 year old daughter is FIGHTING wearing training pants or underwear. When I have her wear them she immediately says she has to pee and sits on the potty CONSTANTLY for the next couple of hours with nothing happening. I have to make her get off the potty. She's run around the house without her pull-up on and stopped to use the potty, so that was a success, but she's had accidents since then (I know that they'll happen) and my husband and I tell her that it's okay and tell her we love her and clean her up immediately but she still admonishes herself and gets very upset. What am I supposed to do? The daycare where I now have my daughter (a nice home daycare) wants her to wear training pants starting tomorrow so that they can assist in the training process and I have a hard enough time getting them on her. I've done the "she'll do it when she's ready approach," followed by the "showing her how to use the potty approach," and nothing is working. I'm losing my mind!
So What Happened?™
Okay, so we've been doing the potty training thing for a week tomorrow and it's been going better than I expected. She's only had one accident after I wrote the request and has been using the potty regularly since then and I haven't even had to ask her or tell her to go. I think the timing was right and I was just stressing too much about it. Abby still wears pull-ups at naptime and bedtime (she's been dry the last 3 days after nap and this morning she was dry after sleeping all night but I'm not going to push the issue). Amazingly, she is now asking for her training pants instead of her pull-ups. She still hasn't pooped on the potty (she has gone twice after waking in the middle of the night and then she comes into our bedroom and let's us know she needs to be changed) but I figure that will come when it's time. I've talked to her about it being okay to poop on the potty (I also had to have the same conversation about it being okay for her to use the potty at daycare and that helped) so we'll see what happens from there. Thanks for the great advice. I think the thing was that I was stressing out about the potty training more than she was and seriously the experience has not been as bad as I anticipated.
M.D. answers from Detroit on January 07, 2008
I think that if the day care is willing to help out, that is your best bet. Even if you can't get her to wear training pants, you would be amazed at what the day care will get her to do. I wouldn't worry to much. Between you and the day care she will learn. Try not to get to discuraged.
K.P. answers from Detroit on January 07, 2008
I am not to this point yet with my twins but may have a suggestion.
Could the child care center put them on for her after she is there?
I only say this becasue sometimes kids only "act out" with parents and then listen and learn better from others not so close to them.
I just remember when my twins were going throught the "I don't want you to put a diaper back on me" phase...they would lay like perfect babies when grandma or grandpa would change them...drove me and hubby (and the grandma that watches them daily) crazy!
Just a thought...good luck to you:)
K.V. answers from Detroit on January 08, 2008
I agree that you will probably have more success with the daycare helping out. However, you need to do this on your and your daughter's schedule. You are the Mom, not the nice home daycare. They might be pushing her too hard and that might be causing the backsliding that you have encountered. Maybe you could try picking a date a week out or so, and make it fun for her. Take her to the store and let her pick out her own panties. "Put them up" where she can see them and tell her that she has to wait until the "big day". Make a big deal about that day and that she gets to wear them and be a big girl. It also helped me to get my daughter a full size bed instead a toddler bed, all of a sudden she was willing to stay in bed, not wear pull ups, and go all ni8ght without wetting. I was really scared about it but it helped a lot. Good luck.
C.G. answers from Detroit on January 08, 2008
In my experience, daycare is a totally different story than home. Especially if there are other kids there. I would let her know what is going on and tell her what is expected of her for daycare and then let them work on it with her. Kids like to please their caregivers, sometimes more than their parents! She just might surprise you. Its probably just needing to practice using the potty but it is a good sign that she gets upset when she has accidents. I stay at home with my kids and I spent MONTHS trying to train my son. He was about 90% there but still had too many accidents. But, once he got to preschool where everyone was using the potty, he almost immediately stopped having them all together because his teachers told him and all the other kids when to go. The peer pressure and outside influences were a huge help for us. Good luck!