Potty Training - Fort Worth,TX

Updated on September 28, 2010
A.W. asks from Fort Worth, TX
10 answers

My son is 26 months and has been potty training for about a month now. He is doing great! Can go all night and during nap time in his big boy underwear without having an accident. During the day we are still taking him every 30 to 45 minutes and he goes pee and will sometimes poop, but if we get him to the potty he stays dry all day. But he wont tell us when he needs to go and if we dont get him to the bathroom in time he will just go in his pants and then come and say "pee pee" or "all wet". He will talk about staying dry or knowing that he is suppose to go to the bathroom when we talk about it but still wont tell us!! Help! I have no idea how to get him to start communicating this need! Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!!

A.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for the advice!! Just within a week of posting he is doing so much better. Even today he came up to me and said "no wet" so I took him to the bathroom and he did both!!! He is very young (especially for a boy) to be potty trained but I refuse to regress because he has done so well. I think as we keep going and as time progresses he will continue to understand the process and it will just click one day! Thanks again!!!

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

He will tell you when he is ready, sounds like his body just isnt ready yet. Give him some more time.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

When I was preparing to potty train my daugther, I re-read the book "Becoming Toddlerwise" by Gary Ezzo. They said that children are not physiologically ready until a certain time. For boys it takes longer than girls. 26 months sound early to me for boys, although it's not impossible...depends on the child. But, if you're using underwear all the time, he should be getting used to the feeling if he is able. Maybe he is not physically able to hold it? His body may just not be able to do it yet...

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi A.,

I often recommend to the parents I coach to give their child a watch with a timer on it, then set the time for 30-45 minutes. The watch will remind your child to go to the bathroom, without you being the reminder. This will eventually train the child to go on his own.

What happens, is that your child expects YOU to remind him, because that is what he knows. By placing the reminder on him, (or his wrist :), he will start thinking about his needs.

The other key is to, without punishing, make him help you clean-up messes. "Oops, you had an accident, it's time to clean you up now. Please go change your clothes and get a cloth for the floor." Again, puting responsibility on him.

Good Luck

R. Magby

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

I totally agree with CT below. Boys mature at a more slower rate than girls. My son wasn't even interested in sitting on a potty until just after he turned 3. He wore pull-ups all day and all night. Now for his 3 year old class he had to be potty trained during the day, wearing regular underwear, so then we had to do the 3 day potty training which worked. His whole 3 year old year at school he maybe had 1 or 2 accidents, but he cried when he did and was totally aware of what happened. Also it wasn't until just before my son's 4th birthday where he woke up with dry pull-ups. Again, you can't train that. It will come naturally. After checking his pull-up each morning after waking up and seeing he was dry for 30 days straight is when I knew he was ready for regular underwear at night. So there's no need to rush in training him and going to the potty every 30 to 45 minutes. We never did that. We just simply asked our son about once an hour if he needed to go potty, and most of the time he said no, but he did go by himself when he felt it. There's no need to let the potty training take over your life...just roll with it.

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

I just read through the answers because I'm in the same boat. Since the beginning of summer my son (31 months) has been in undies. He has no accidents at school, and we have several completely dry days. Then, he turns into a water balloon with a hole in it. He's at the age where if I say "I guess we need to put on a diaper" he'll say "no!" but lately (probably the last 3-4 days) I've been leaving him completely naked from the waist down and believe it or not, that seems to work. He goes to the potty without even asking me, just heads over, pees, and then tells me he went. I also give skittles for peeing and dum dum's for pooping. Sometimes that is enough of a reason for him to go, sometimes not. He actually does better going out than at home, and I wonder if that is because I'm more aware of how long we've been gone. So, good luck! I think it just may take a while! Oh, and I do have him clean himself up. He has to go into the laundry room, take off the wet clothes and put them in the sink. If it's enough to get on the floor, then I put the cloth down and have him stand on it to help soak up the pee, but it doesn't really seem to affect him. He'll tell you pee goes in the potty and big boys go on the potty, etc., just rarely tells me when he needs to go if I don't initiate it!

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

My daughter was such a mess about having her diapers changed that we had to do the potty instead at 20 months old. She is a little over 2 now and is still at the point where she will sometimes initiate and will recognize that she needs to go if I ask her but up until about a month ago she only initiated going to the potty for #2. Staying in the underwear is smart though--I switched from underwear to pullups for awhile because I had just registered a new child in the home daycare and I feared she would backtrack. Putting her in the pull-ups though basically caused her to regress. You could try asking him at the usual intervals he usually goes or a slightly longer interval to see if he can say yes he needs to go or no he doesn't. This would be a good intermediate step between you initiated and him initiating. Good luck ! Hang inthere--I know it stretches out the process more when you start earlier but it is way cheaper than diapers and you get things underway before toddlers become super defiant:)

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N.H.

answers from Harrisburg on

It sounds like you're doing all the right things and he just isn't quite there yet. I know this from experience. I did this with my now 3.5 year old twins for eons before they started initiating potty trips. I started taking them to the potty on a routine around their 2nd bday and it wasn't until right before their 3rd birthday that they started to get it. In hindsight I put a lot of pressure on me and them at a point when they just were not able to do it. In the end it became a huge power struggle and I had to take a step back while encouraging going potty and then when I thought they could get it I put them back in training underwear and let them figure it out (I no longer took them to the potty, I let them tell me when they had to go). BTW, they were able to stay dry at night/naps for ages too.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

There are several different elements that all contribute to potty training. Until the child has enough maturity in all areas – bladder control, recognizing sensations, and the emotional readiness to accept the ongoing responsibility – it is the parent who is trained to remind or help the child at regular intervals.

Sounds like your little guy is good on the "after" sensations, but may have no real connection yet with the "before" signals. This may happen at any moment, but seldom kicks in reliably for little girls before around 30 months, or for little boys for several months later. There are always exceptions, of course; some kids are ready earlier, and some much, much later.

It's great that you have developed such good teamwork and he can actually have completely dry days. Some (not all) kids will do well with a bare-butt "booty camp" approach when they are almost ready, during which they learn to connect the wetness after peeing more and more quickly to the sensations of pressure in the bladder. But I've heard from several moms that even this was too advanced for their children at the age of three or older, and it introduced a sense of discouragement, failure, and anger into the training process that ultimately dragged out the whole process.

So, you won't be able to make your son communicate feelings until he can identify them. He's probably a little young yet to be able to do that. If the system you have is working well for both of you, then by all means, keep it up. You're saving on diapers. But give his little system the time it needs to mature. He will get there, and if you keep it all positive, he'll be really excited about it when it happens.

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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like you are the one being trained. Maybe your son is just not old enough to be able to realize he needs to go and to communicate that to you. This isn't something you can work on, it's something that comes with age. There is really nothing you can do until he makes the connection between the urge to go and realizing it and getting to the potty in time.

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