Potty Training - Ferndale,MI

My son wanted a very large fire truck the year he was 3. I bought it, displayed it where he could see it constantly, and told him he could not have it until he pooped in the toilet for two weeks solid. Once he did that, there was no issue in him pooping in the toilet. It became a habit. Perhaps it will work for you.

As a mom of 4 kids (ages 11 - 1 yo), and a friend to many moms multiple kids, I can safely say that you should probably "let this one go." He will learn how to go poop on the potty when HE is ready. The more you push the issue, the harder he will push back. Offer rewards for progress, if you want, but otherwise go at his pace.

Also, he sounds like a pretty smart kid. Is lying to him really the example you want to set?

He is still quite young to be fully potty trained. I have learned the hard way that it cannot be forced. He will decide one of these days that pooping in the potty is okay. With three-year-olds (I have one too!), it can be a control issue since they have so little control over their lives. Stubborn! :) My daughter is 3 1/2 and goes on the potty most of the time, but still pees her pants if she decides that is what she wants. She thinks its funny. Go figure. I know it is frustrating, but it'll come. Good luck

A reward system is what I suggest and lots of positive reinforcement.

I am not in favor of lying to a child either. Instead of saying they don't make them anymore, just say you won't buy them anymore. Because if he happens to be at a store with you and see's them he will figure it out quickly. And since you've told him this, I don't think you should use them at night either. I tell everyone that is worried about night accidents your best defense is a good offense. 1. Stop drinks at least 2 hours before bed time. 2. Make him use the bathroom before bed 3. Use the rubber sheets and/or extra towels/blankets underneath the sheets. 4. Make him use the potty as soon as he wakes up.

First of all, don't lie to him about the pull-ups. You said he's three which means that he's able to recognize the package the pull-ups come in; my daughter doesn't turn three until April and she knows what the box holds; also, at some point, you'll have to take him into a grocery store so if he sees the pull-ups on the shelf, he'll know you lied, even if he doesn't know what lying is; all he'll know is that mommy said they weren't making pull-ups anymore but I saw them at the store.

Second, don't push him too hard; all kids are different when it comes to potty training, it took my son until August 2009 to poop in the toilet and not in his pants and he turned four in November of 2009. One thing that I tried was during the day, pulling him in regular underwear with one of the vinyl protectors that are worn over cloth diapers or I use a pull up to go over the underwear in case he has an accident, after all, at three and four, kids may not have complete control over their bladders or bowls. The thing that worked well in conjunction with the regular underwear is "blackmail" ... if he peed in the toilet, he received a peanut m&m (his favorite), if he pooped in the toilet, he got three and if he did either WITHOUT me telling him to go (He had to come get me before flushing the toilet so I knew he wasn't making things up) he would get three. It took over a year of this but he got it; the only time we have problems is at night time and occasionally at nap time.

Another thing you could try is a couple days a week, even if you don't work (I can't remember if you said you do or not) send him to a day care center. Most day care centers will work with potty training with the kids in the age range; the center my kids go to make the kids try once an hour, even if they protest and say they don't have to go. Good luck, things will get better.

It sounds like pull ups are a crutch. Get rid of them for BOTH night and day. He's manipulating you. Just prepare for lots of bed wetting. Get a good rubber mattress pad and put a few old towels between him it and the sheet. But DON'T give in.

This is something he has to learn and pull ups are standing in the way. You said he's capable of sleeping through the night dry, so he's capable of learning to do it all the time.

Be sure to limit his fluids after dinner, and be sure that he uses the potty AT LEAST once right before going to bed (best if he's used it once after dinner too). Then don't freak out when he has accidents, just matter of fact-ly clean them up. You might want to wake him up right before you go to bed to use the potty if he's struggling to stay dry regularly.

Best wishes, I know this can be tough, but you and he can do it!

My mother was watching my daughter for me during the day when she was potty training. I didn't agree with it at the time, but it worked within a week! Every time my daughter went poopy in her panties, my mother (hand-over-hand) made my daughter "help" clean it up. She was grossed out by this, and it worked fast! My mother really did the cleaning, but when she went to get the poopy from the panties to the toilet, my daughter had to help hold the panties while my mother was dropping the poopy into the toilet. I am not a fan of telling any child a lie. If they are still making pull-ups, then I wouldn't recommend telling your child they aren't. This could cause your child to think telling lies is ok, or to stop trusting you someday.

I like what Joy B said, talk to him about it. Maybe you do this all the time, maybe you don't, but I talk to my son like he can totally understand the conversation we are having, and more often than not he does. It worked when it came to talking at preschool (he talked at day care but not at preschool), and other things as well.

I sit down with him and ask him why, give him a few ideas, and usually he tells me. If I have an idea what might be bothering him, I ask him about it, or like with talking I just told him how much his teachers would really like to hear his words, that they would love to know what he was thinking about, and would like to hear the stories that he tells me and the day care lady. Just general praising his ability to talk. Next thing I knew, he was talking to them! It was literally like he thought he wasn't supposed to talk there, that it was supposed to be quiet (it was a pretty calm, quiet - for toddlers - Montessori preschool). My tuning into that and talking to him about it helped him change his mind.

So I would try that for poop, too, ask him if it feels different in the potty vs. a diaper, if he doesn't like his bottom to feel uncovered, is worried about splashing, etc. With my son we also talked about wiping, that he didn't like baby wipes and he didn't have to wipe as much if the poop went straight into the potty. He liked that part (not wiping all over) but it didn't turn out to be the final answer.

In the end, what made it happen was getting him a potty seat with his favorite character on it. He was somewhat afraid of sitting on the big potty - boys don't get as much experience with that as girls! So concentrating on holding on / balance / not falling in was distracting him mentally and physically from making the effort to poop. We had only had the new seat and a stool to get up there for a couple of days, when he actually went in and set it all up himself, then got up there and pooped all by himself! We were so happy.

We also do treats when he remembers, for any potty use. It used to be the incentive/reward, and now it is more a way to get him to do it without any arguing. It makes it worthwhile to stop playing, or start the process of getting ready for bed, or whatever.

Good luck!

I haven't read the other readers responses, so hopefully this isn't too much repetition. I have a 3.5 year old and we've had some issues with #2 on the potty too. What's worked best for us is to be pretty transparent with him of our expectations, and to give him choices. At the beginning of potty training, he would ask for a pull up or a diaper, and we would stay firm in our decision to have him sit on th potty, in a calm & gentle way. Every bit of information I've read or heard of on potty training is to not push the issue, don't make a big deal of it (with the exception of praise @ when trying or actually doing!)
For example: I know he'll have to poop after a big meal with lots of fiber, esp. if he hasn't gone during the day yet. I tell him he has 5 minutes to play and pick out a book, but then we were going to sit on the potty (we use an adapter seat, but he can do regular toilet if needed). At the time of going, he has the choice to have me sit with him & read the book to him, or if he needs his privacy. Mostly, he requests privacy and he gets the job done.
LOTS of praise worked for us ~ jumping up and down, cheers, high fives, calling the grandparents, etc.
Hope this helps. He won't be pooping in pull ups forever, I promise :)

Potty training/ability is in stages:
1) peeing in toilet
2) pooping in toilet
3) Night-time dryness.

Peeing in toilet usually comes first. Then, pooping in toilet comes later... sometimes much later.
Night-time "dryness" can take even up until 7 year old, and this is NORMAL. Night-time dryness has to do with biology as well. Not just the child "knowing."

The thing with pooping is... if you force it, it makes it worse. AND, the child can become constipated.... because then it will be an emotional problem, not just a biological need, and they will "withhold" their poop... because of anxiety. And once the child becomes constipated... it becomes harder and harder in consistency, and then it becomes difficult to pass and it will cause pain upon pooping. So then the child will NOT want to poop, anywhere, even in a diaper.
AND if the poop becomes constipated and hard, and builds up inside the body, it can cause medical problems.
I know this because this happened to my Daughter and we had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist for it. THIS is what he said. It is common in toddlers who are potty training. That pooping ability on the toilet will take time. Do not make it a forced event. Or they get hang-ups, which then causes MORE of a problem for the child.

And yes, at night, MANY Kindergartener's are still in diapers as well. Its normal. Per our Pediatrician as well. A child, will NOT "master" all 3 of these stages, at the same time. It happens one at a time. Taking time between each stage.

Potty training, can take lots of time, if the child is not ready.

My daughter is 7 years old, and she did not reach full night-time dryness until 5 years old. BUT, keep in mind, that pee accidents will still occur, in any child. Even if they are potty trained. My daughter still has an occasional night-time accident... because she sleeps so deeply as well.
I just put a water-proof bed pad directly under her at night, to make clean up easier, for me. No problem.

Your son is real young, to have ALL of these things mastered. MANY MANY MANY kids at this age and older, still wear night-time diapers.
Its okay.

All the best,
Susan

i had the same problem with my daughter. she would pee on the potty all the time but would not poop on it no matter what i tried. i had potty treats that she would get when she would go. i took her to the store and let her pick a special treat, just for her that she could have when she went poop on the potty. it seemed like it took forever and nothing would get her to poop in the toilet. i started making her "help" clean up after her messes. i let her pick her own special panties with her favorite characters on them so she wouldn't want to mess on them. i started paying more attention to when she was most likely to poop during the day and one day when i knew it was about that time, i put her on the toilet and made her stay there. i was determined that if she could do it once, she would keep doing it. i sat in there with her and we read books and i tried to keep her occupied so she would sit there. i kept telling her to try and go poop. after i was ready to give up and just go back to pull-ups and diapers, she did it! i could not believe it. we made such a big deal about it, it was like a party at our house. i let her call my mom and tell her how big she was and just made it a fun, special thing all about her and how well she did. to my amazement, she got it from there. she knew she got her special candy when she did it and that it made everyone so happy that she just kept doing it. i know it's not easy and it's very exhausting as a mom, i wish you all the luck and i can sympathize with you cuz i've been there! hope this helps a little...good luck!

This sounds silly, but try to have a frank conversation about why he doesn't want to poop on the potty. You might be surprised at what you learn. I had a similar problem with my son and when I finally asked him why he didn't want to poop on the potty he said because it has a long way to fall (he would not use a potty chair, just the big toilet). We tried a couple of things to relieve him but finally I explained that the poop wanted to go swimming (gross, I know, but...), he got much better and now we have no problem. Good luck!

Be patient. That is my advice, because no matter how many tricks or tips you get, they don't work with every child. Your son will do it when he is ready. No sooner. No later. If you know what motivates him--M&Ms, toys, fun activities--it can't hurt to try since YOU are ready for him to be potty trained. And maybe you will feel better thinking you are helping him reach the goal.

(By the way, we call pooping "dropping friends off at the lake" in our family. Beats the alternative terms.)

My son did the same thing. I thought he would NEVER go #2 in the potty. After about 6-8 months (I forgot), he did! I think it was a combo of things that worked including, time. One that I think made a big difference was that I let him pick out a toy at the store and he couldn't have it until he went poop in the toilet. I kept in the bathroom for him to look at and remind him too. Every time he talked about it. I felt bad not giving it to him, because he really wanted it, but finally it worked and was well worth the wait. Another thing was giving him some privacy when he tried. Turns out he didn't like to poop with us in there, still doesn't. I didn't use pullups either. If he didn't go in the toilet, he went in his underwear. Gross, but it worked. Same with at night. Once you stop using pullups it takes about a night or two and then they realize...oh, no pullups. I better not have an accident! :)
Good luck!!! It was a very frustrating time in my life too. But it will happen and YOU will be SO proud!!!!!!!

My son turned 3 in November, and the day after his birthday I said "That's it! I can't afford pullups, you're training!" and it took 1 week of every 15 minutes before he got down the peeing in the potty. Then, about 6 incredibly frustrating weeks later, one day I told him he was going to stay naked on the bottom until he pooped. I know he knows when he had to poop, he was just too lazy about it. After 2 hours of bottom naked time, he said "Ooh, I have to poop" and he ran to the bathroom, did it, and then screamed "Mommy! The poopies came out!"

It took diligence, persistence, and eventually a "sticker chart" with 35 days on it and a "Thomas the Train" reward that my mother got for him, but I'm proud to say that with only 2 more days of pooping required, my son will officially have his Thomas the Train reward, and a full sticker chart!

Have you tried potty treats? I do a small one for urinating and a bigger one for bowl movements. Find out what he loves the most and show him what he gets as soon as he is done pooping in the toilet. After he does it regularly and earns his treat, then only give it to him when he remembers, eventually he will taper it off. If he doesn't then you can just have him work up to a bigger goal that is once a week then once a month. But by then they really don't care that much and you can switch the reward to another goal.
Just keep reminding him often how excited you are for him to earn his treat!
Good luck!
E.