Potty Training - Riverton,IL

Hi
If you have been taking him to the potty for over a week, you may want to hold off. I have 2 kids - my daughter started using the potty at 2 and a half, and learned in one day. We tried with my son at 2 and a half, and he was not ready. He did not learn until 3 and a half, and then also learned in one day - he was ready, (he was dry overnights too,) The best advice we got was to relax, and not push it.
Good luck!

Relax. Hold off until school starts. You are so fortunate to have a preschool that's okay with this. You'll be amazed at how much he'll "learn" at preschool when he goes to the bathroom with all the other children. Put him in underpants, pack a bunch of extra clothes, and all will be well.

From B. whose son was exactly the same.

I have raised 5 children and have a day care that caters to infants. In my experience, #1 is conquered months before #2 and almost all kids are afraid to go #2 and your observation that his holding it in has contributed to constipation is probably valid. So welcome to the reality of potty training. Do not give up what ground he has gained with #1, and resign yourself to the possibility of dealing with poopy underpants for some time now. I talk to the kids calmly about their possible fears, let them see an adult go poop, tell them everybody does it and it does not hurt any more to do it on the pot than in the pants, i point out how icky it is in the pants and that I really don't like cleaning it up. One little girl was afraid of the loud sound of the toilet flushing, so i promised not to flush until she left the room. When they start obviously hiding under and behind furniture to go, that is an opportunity to catch them before and rush them to the potty. Keep an especially close eye on them for this behavior, maybe doing it once or twice will dispel the fears. good luck

Hi,

I know this sounds weird, but try giving him something to put his feet on. My son was giving me a hard time untill one day when he said he wanted the stool. He put his feet on it and seemed to feel more comfortable. Maybe it has to do with pressure or something, I have no clue. All I cared about was that it made him comfortable enough to go lol!!

Good Luck!!

The most fabulous book which helped my daughter - "It Hurts When I Poop". I bought it from Amazon.com and I think it was around $10. It explains what happens to food and why we need to poop in a way that kids understand. She has been potty trained for a year and STILL likes to read the book! She would throw a fit if we made her sit on the potty when you can tell she had to poop - two days after reading the book she was pooping on the potty! Good luck!!

Some kids just have issues with #2. I've trained two out of four that had that issue. The one would hold it until she went to sleep and then would go in her diaper every night. I gave her a cup of yogurt with flax seed and a handful of frosted shredded mini wheat for two days early in the morning and then she had to go during the day....after two or three days of that she didn't care anymore and would go with no issues.

The second would just hide when it came time to go #2 and mess in her pull-up. The first day she was at my house we knew she had to go because she was fussing about coming over and wanted to hide to go, but there was no time before she needed to come to my house....I told her she would be a big girl and where panties...when I came back with the panties she looked at me and "I don't need those because I already went in my pull-up". I told her okay come with me.

I handed her a box of wipes and a plastic bag and told her to clean herself up. She looked at me surprised and said "ooooo no, that's gross". So I gently explained that it was gross and I didn't want to clean her nasty big girl bottom either. I told her that I had a baby in diapers and that was all the dirty nasty bottoms I needed to clean. So I put a wipe in her hand and I helped her clean herself. Each time we wiped I showed her the wipe and how gross it was and kept explaining that if she went in the toilet it wouldn't be so messy.

Next day I got the panties without her knowing and I made her put them on. When it came time to go she cried because she wanted a pull-up. I gently put her on the potty and hugged her, but wouldn't let her up. I kept kissing her face and telling her it would be fine and it wouldn't hurt her. She eventually had to go and went. We all cheered, jumped up and down and made a huge deal out of it. I gave her a couple of chocolate chips and that was that. I put panties on her everyday no discussion and she went on the potty no problems.

My mother never gave any of us a choice. We just had to do what she said. My brother next to me actually got a spanking after he kept going in his pants when outside playing. He stopped after that. He finished high school top of his class and with a 3.6 grade point with a double major in Math and Computer Science in college. He never had any poop'n issues ever. He didn't hate my mother. He didn't need surgery because she forced him to go. He was fine.

So good luck!! Just something you will laugh about when their 20.

I just went thru this with my 2.5 year old daughter. We started taking her the very first second we woke her up (we never waited for her to wake up). She would go and then every 1/2 hour we'd take her. The key is not to ask, but to just say "it's time for potty". Once he gets the hang of going, he'll start telling you that he doesn't have to go. When it gets to that point, have him go every 45 minutes and then every hour. My daughter has been pretty good, so for the most part, she tells us now that she has to go (it's 3 months into training). We do have her go before nap and bedtime as well as before we leave to go somewhere.

Now, if we go to the zoo, and we put a diaper on her, she will wet her diaper. So, my suggestion would be to only have diapers/pull ups only on at night.

As for pooping... yeah, that takes time. My daugter would refuse to go and would always go in the diaper or in her undies. When I asked her why she didn't want to go in the toilet, she said she was afraid. But, once I explained it's the same thing and feeling if she goes in her diaper the only difference was that one is in the diaper and the other falls in the water. She started going on the pot, but would aways ask us to kneel so that she can lean on our shoulder to go.

My son is 4.5 and has only gone poop at daycare once. The reason being is because he thinks he'll fall in (she doesn't have a child seat). So, make it comfortable for him. You may even want him to see you and your husband go - just to assure him that it's normal.

Oh, and if he likes M&Ms, let him know if he goes poopy in the toliet, he'll get X amount of M&Ms and be extra excited when he does go.

In the end, he will learn, it just takes a bit longer.

Oh, and avoid public bathrooms with automatic flushers. Kids are way too small and it will really scare them if it goes off while they are on the pot.

Don't push him. He's still really young and it takes boys longer anyway. My neighbor's very, very bright and mature 51/2 year old still has accidents. It seems with kids the more important things are to you the more they resist, so try taking a "great when it happens, totally ok when it doesn't" approach and I bet he'll get less tense about the process. Also, going #2 can be really scary for kids. The feeling that something is coming out of their bodies and falling away and getting flushed down the toilet can all be very disconcerting. As with many things kid-related, it will all come together eventually. Good luck!
PS: I've also had friend have good luck with positive reinforcement -- m&ms or some such thing when they've done a good job on the potty, gold stickers marking # of times they've succeeded, etc. No punishment or bad feelings when there are accidents, but lots of praise for a job well done.

apples are very binding so stay away from apples/apple juice. Benefiber works great! Doesn't taste like anything and you can add it to just about anything from liquids to pasta sauce. It dissolves in water and you can't taste a thing. Also, try rewards for going #2. My daughter was scared as well. She loves oreos. Not something my kids would normally get every day. So we would tell her if she pooped she could have an oreo. Works like a charm. Kids like instant rewards for things like that. The down side to this, she now has been completely trained (even at night) for a few months and she still wants her oreo when she goes poop. I'm hoping this will just go away on it's own. :)

Hi K.,
I have a few suggestions that worked well with my autistic son when we potty trained him a few months ago. Once you switch to underwear - do not go back to diapers/pullups. Only use them at night time. Going pee will come first and BM's will come later. Just keep him in his underwear, and if he has an accident, have him help you clean it up, all the while explaining that "Poopy goes in the potty" He will get it pretty soon and start going BM on his own in the potty. Just be sure not to pressure him too much. He might not hold in his BM if you dont make much of a deal about needing to sit on the potty till he goes. (my dd did this too!) He will get tired of pooping in his pants real soon!
We kept data while my son was training. If you keep close track of every times he goes, whether in the potty or in his undies, you will begin to see his "schedule".
It should only take a few days before he is really trained. As long as you dont go back to pull ups or diapers. That is really the trick.
Hope that helped a little.
A.

Hi K. I suggest you hold off for a bit. He doing #1 and he will start #2 just be patient because he's still kinda young. And boys seem to be harder to train than girls. I have a friend who was training her son, he would do #1 with no problem but when he did #2 he didn't want her to flush the toilet!!! So just give him a little time.

My son is 9 now, but I still remember it took a while for him to 'get it' when he was small. Even after I was sure that he understood the process and knew how to go and when he HAD to go- he would definitely hold it in.

I would say just really learn to watch for the signs that he is holding it and INSIST on lots of potty breaks even if he assures you he does not need to go. My son would be watching a video and I would just pause it and tell him it would go back on after he took a potty break. He would get frustrated and say he didn't need one, but I told him we were doing it on a schedule and that did seem to help.

I also remember one incident where I had to leave work and go to his playgroup because he was constipated, but refusing to try and go, lol. So the teacher called me and I was able to talk him into it - and he had a monster bowel movement, lol! So they just get really stubborn about it, especially when they think they know it all.

Just keep a potty break schedule - but expect occasional accidents! My son still had a couple even after he turned 5- he was SO embarrassed, but I just told him again that he needs to pay attention and GO when he feels like he has to, even if he's watching a movie or playing a game! Hope this helps.

I started potty training my son at 2 1/2 and it took a lot of trial and error, but boys are much harder to potty train than girls. My son was fully potty trained just before he turned 3, but the number #2 would still be a big problem for us, and he would hold it days and then when he finally had to go, it hurt really bad and made it painful for him. I spoke with my doctor about this issue with #2, and she informed me that it's really common for children to hold the #2 because it's the last thing that they can actually control after being potty trained, and the best thing to do is to talk with them and try to get them to do it daily. When children hold it, they then associate doing #2 as beinging painful and hurtful and then don't want to go at all and continue to hold. I also give me son a teaspoon of mineral oil to ease this discomfort and it seems to really hepl. Hope this helps.

Wendy Sweeney, at www.bootycampmom.com, is AMAZING!!!!

I usually put my son on every 2-3 hours. My son usually does #2 around the same time everyday and especially after a meal. Potty training for boys is harder than girls. Once potty trained, we kept them in pull-ups at night until they were able to keep them dry. You'll know when he's ready. He'll either tell you when he needs to go or go by himself. Do you praise him when he does #2 in the potty? We try to make it a big deal by clapping and high 5 to make him feel good. Good luck.

Sounds like you're doing great so far. I had both my #2 trained at an early age because I was putting them on at the time of the day they usually went from the age of about 1.5. It's just a matter of getting used to it on a daily basis. The only thing I can suggest is - don't give him apples - they can be constipating. Bananas are best and any oat-based foods as well. 1/2 to 1 banana a day should do the trick in helping with his system.

Don't stop - if you have a system started, stick with it. From personal experience, stopping once you've started will make it harder for him to get back in that mode of going and may make him more resistant when you try again. I also used m&m's as an incentive for my older child - daughter when I was trying to get her to pee and tell me she had to go. It worked like a charm (she was just over 2). But, it doesn't work with mMy son (who will be 3 soon and is not pee-trained yet) But has been doing #2 without accidents for the last 6 months. He always tells me when he has to go. He's definitely at the age that he can get it, so keep at it even if it takes the next few months to be completely accident free.

Don't forget prunes, they soften the stool too. Just keep at it and he will relax. As a teacher thank you for wanting to train your child before school. There are a lot of mothers that feel the teacher can do that too.

I recommend the following resources...

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az7.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t110248.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t106600.asp

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/az36.asp

http://drphil.com/articles/article/264/

Best wishes,
J.

Hi K.,
Despite the fiber, apples don't help you go. The pectin helps stop you up a bit (This is from my gastroenterologist). I don't have any potty training tips, but I thought you might want to lay off apples and apple juice if he's having #2 trouble. Good luck!