Potty Training - Livonia,MI

My son now 5 did the same thing. and it wasnt until after I had my 18 month old that Vincent was fully potty trained. Yes this may sound cruel but he would tell me when he had to poop and ask if he could poop in his diaper, one day I just told him that is he was going to poop in his diaper he would have to stay in that diaper until I was ready to change his pants, he was 3 at the time and guess what he ran to that bathroom and pooped on the potty and he has had one accident since then only because he was sick.

I remember those days! My son, who is now 3 months past his 3rd birthday did kinda the same thing! He would not poop in the toilet for the life of me! He would actually just go ahead and go in his underwear. Ughh! I used to get so frustrated with that cause he would pee in the toilet just fine, but never poop! When he would poop in his underwear, I would take his underwear off with the poop still in it, and then drop the poop in the toilet with him standing there watching me, and I would explain to him that was where the poop was supposed to go. And then I would kind of make a big deal about how happy I was that the poop was in the toilet! I think the turning point actually came when my mother and father in law were over, babysitting, and he somehow ended up pooping on the toilet. Well, they made a big deal about it and really praised him and egged him on in the whole thing! Maybe someone else's perspective helped him to see that it wasn't just mom being crazy!! ha ha! Also, as far as nightime, I don't give my son any drinks after dinnertime, so that really helps, and I have read that it is normal for children to not be fully potty trained at night for a while. I hope this helps ya!

I am dealing with a similar issue with my son. I suggest trying the bribes, but don't hold your breath. My sonenjoys the rewards when he gets them, but just doesn't really care.

The candy rewarding can backfire, too. My son learned to manipulate the system. He would only go about half the volume he needed to, then come back to me 15 minutes later, saying he had to go again.....smart boy. So we ended up telling him that he only got candy for going "lots", and only got candy the first time, then had to wait a few hours.

It sounds like you are trying really hard to get her potty trained which is great! I'm sure eventually this will get fixed. The important thing is to not let her see your fustrasion.
I would really push the positive reinforcement. Which in this case would be for you to get overly excited when she goes on the potty and make a point to say what a big girl she is and how going on the potty keeps her clean. Then when she goes poop in her diaper I would not punish her or get upset at her but instead make a point to say something like hmm if you did this in the potty then you could stay clean, let's try to do it in the potty next time. Also once she is done going poop make a point to take her to the potty after.
Another idea could be that if you know she always goes 5 min after you put her in bed you could try to time it to walk in when she is halfway through and take her to the potty to finish there...this may or may not work.
Good luck and hang in there... I'm sure she will be completely potty trained soon!

Two notes of thought ...

1.) Both of my twins had this problem - they became real pros about holding until nap/bed time. I finally decided to reward with candy. I felt guilty about it, like I was bribing them, until it started working. I bought Skittles and a special see-through jar and placed it on the counter. This was candy they had never had before, but it was bright and colorful and had them intrigued. I explained to them that if they were big enough to make wet in the potty, they could also poop. I told them that I was not going to clean up poop anymore, that if they pooped in their underwear or pull-ups, they'd have to help clean it up. I also empathized with them that I understood it may be difficult, i.e. a new sensation, to learn how to poop sitting down. I assured them it would take practice. I also let them know that if they pooped in the potty, or even *tried*, they would receive a candy reward. And they could pick two colors themselves. Within a week, both twins were pooping in the potty. My only regret is that they now refer to Skittles as "poop candy," completely unabashed!!

2.) Some children, especially those who are capable of pooping on the potty (as your daughter demonstrated at age 2), may be holding poop for other reasons. I know it might sound unimaginable, but there is a certain pleasurable sensation in holding a bowel movement. I can attest to this personally because I did this for two years when I was a kid ... from ages 6 - 8. It's embarassing to admit, yes. And when I think back on it, I suspect I did it for the sensation (it felt better to hold than to go) and also for control ... my family had recently moved to a new community, life was new and exciting and there were many changes that I could not control. I guess maybe (?) that holding bowel movements gave me a sense of control. Anyway, I just suggest not ruling it out as a possibility ... some kids won't be bothered to sit long enough to go, to be distrupted enough to go, to deal with the clean-up ... so perhaps dialogue with your little one and find out how she feels about that aspect of potty training, and maybe there's something you could work on together to make the process a little less scary or daunting for her!. :-)

I posted a few months ago with the same issue. I tried several things, including rewards and punishments. I think they simply go when they're ready. It took my son a few months but gradually the poopy underpants were less. The best answer is PATIENCE. On a personal note; I think that the diapers and pull ups confuse the kids. I don't use them.

We are trying to use M&M's as a reward. It is kind of working...

I agree with the others who are advocating patience and positive reinforcement. Make sure your little one knows when you are proud of her. Also, something that I have seen work in the past is setting up your 3 year old to be a role model for the younger one. If you give her the big responsibility of setting an example for her little sister, she may step up to the challenge. Also, pull-ups are horrible for getting children potty trained. I don't know anyone who's had success getting through potty training using pull-ups.