my ds just turned three and still is not interested in potty training. he has gone through spurts of trying but has now decided he wants nothing to do with it. if i try too much to suggest we go use the big boy potty, he gets really upset. i have tried pull ups, character underwear, no diaper but he insists on putting the diaper back on. should i be worrried?? any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. thanks, K.
I wanted to say Thank You to all the moms who have shared their advice and support regarding this challenging time in me and ds journey together. I have read every comment and feel so much better knowing that other moms have been there done that and can offer their words of wisdom. It's nice to know that ds doesn't have to be potty trained today but when my he is ready. I needed to be reminded that as mothers we really do know our children best and that I shouldn't let outsiders try to tell me that my intuition isn't right. So thank you to the moms who reminded of that. Thank you again to those of you who offered your advice and support.
Hugs,
K.
Get the e-book at www.3daypottytraining.com with Lora Jensen. It works and potty training went so easy doing it (you just have follow EVERTHING she says). My 2yr10m old showed no signs of wanting to potty trained and we did pee/poop in 2 days w/her method.
Good luck!! :)
No, you shouldn't be worried. Kids practically train themselves when parents wait until they're ready, with no bribes and no tears or resistance.
It's really quite a developmental stage; they have to have the necessary nervous-system and bladder maturity to notice urges long enough ahead to make it to the potty, and they need to be emotionally / motivationally prepared (parents can help with positive messages, books and videos, puppet make-believe, a set of "big-kid" undies stacked and ready to go…).
And when they are good to go, they'll do it, just like when they were ready to walk and talk. They didn't have to be rewarded for talking. Same for pottying.
Earlier training is almost always long training, and it has more to do with training the parent to get the child to the potty regularly, and to notice his cues between regular trips. Early training often ends up with a frustrated, despairing parent and an annoyed, resistant child. Starting training before the child expresses readiness and interest can actually delay success. Much like pressuring a first-grader to spell correctly can sour him on his ability or desire to write.
You probably know that boys often need more time to achieve the physical/nervous system development needed to succeed with potty training. Be aware that many, many children also succeed in stages: peeing often works first, then pooping, though I've seen reports of those two activities happening in the reverse order. And sometimes night dryness comes much later, especially for boys, so many little guys wear overnighters to bed well into their grade school years.
don't be worried he'll go when he's ready...when he starts school you'll think back why was i so worried he's completely potty trained :)
My son just turned 4.. .but he was the SAME way as your son at 3 years old. I did not push it. From about 3.5 years old and onward, he did, on HIS own... start to potty. For peeing. Not completely with pooping, yet.
But he's good with peeing.
And of course for sleeping/naps, he wears a diaper which is completely normal, as night time dryness is not even fully attained, biologically, until even 7 years old.
Just keep a potty chair out and around where he is. That is what I did with both my kids.
all the best,
Susan
I'm a firm believer that when kids are ready to potty train it will be easy. Pushing and pushing does not help and may lead to more problems later with accidents etc. Like everyone says, no child will go to college wearing a diaper.
When my daughter turned 3 she had absolutely no interest in the potty and despite comments from my husband, friends and in-laws (ignore them all - no one knows your kid like you do - no one) I waited until she seemed ready and then it was a piece of cake. Don't get me wrong it's not like I completely ignored the situation - I would ask her every couple of days if she felt like using the potty and sometimes when we went shopping I would ask her if she was interested in new underwear. We read the potty books and she watched the potty DVD's. I just never pushed the issue or made her feel bad if she wasn't interested. Around four months after she turned 3 I again asked her if she was interested in using the potty and wearing her new underwear. She said yes and I told her she could wear the underwear all day if she thought she wouldn't have an accident and tried to use the potty every hour or so (the first day). She said ok. She sat on the potty and it took a few minutes but it worked and I swear she hasn't had an accident since. I'm not claiming it will be that easy for everyone but I really, really feel pushing will just make the process more difficult for everyone in the long run.
I also want to address those who equate parenting a child who isn't potty trained by a certain age (like there should be a time limit on something as insanely personal as using the toilet) with being too easy on their kids and letting their kids train them. Learning to use the potty is personal to each child and some kids are not physically (certain muscles have to be developed or it just won't work) or emotionally ready until, well, when they're ready - whenever that may be. I don't believe it's a power play on the child's part and it certainly shouldn't be a power play on the parents part. If you make your child feel bad or guilty it will most certainly backfire on both of you. When it comes to things like going to bed on time, not talking back to adults and temper tantrums when kids don't get what they want - I'm a complete hard#$@ but potty training is an entirely different animal.
Sorry for the rant - just don't let anyone make you feel guilty for not having your child potty trained by any certain age. Again, it will happen when they're ready (it always does) and soon you will look back, wonder what the fuss was all about and maybe even fondly remember changing a diaper :)
My son at 3 had no interest in potty training but 4 months later when I left work for maternity leave, I was determined to not have 2 on diapers. I was able to train him in a matter of weeks at 3 years 4 months. I sat him on a potty in front of a dvd he never saw and gave him a popsicle. I did this for a week and it started with him sitting there for 90 mins down to 30 mins before getting results. 6 weeks later he goes #1 and #2 on his own in a real toilet. Don't give up and don't listen to that very rude comment left by the other mother. It just takes time and when they're ready, it'll happen really fast. She talks like she's the perfect mother, but really we all have difficulties with our kids in one form or another. She should really just keep her mouth shut. I was under the impression that this is a place for advice and not to be judged. Hang in there and it'll happen.
Don't worry. My son just potty trained at 4 and 1/2 this past June. After 2 years of struggling and tears just to "make sure he fit in with his peers", we all finally relaxed and when HE was ready, seemingly overnite, the pullups came off and he's even dry at nite! All that anxiety for nothing! Don't push him. TRUST ME, he won't be in diapers in 1st grade!
Hello K.. Cold turkey is the best way for potty training. Throw out the diapers and pull-ups, they both encourage a child to pee (or worse! lol) in them. Instead, pull out the character underwear that you tried before, and make it mandatory that he keep them on. Normally, after walking around/sitting in accident soiled underwear a few times, they get the picture that they are supposed to do it somewhere else, because it is uncomfortable.
I can understand why he gets upset with you for mentioning the potty too much, because no one likes to be nagged about something they don't want to do but you are the mommy in this case, and you set the ground rules. (btw.... nagging is what you're SUPPOSED to be doing right now, so I'm not downing you for that!! lol) When he gets upset, it's best not to give in, as that sets you up for bigger problems later in life. I don't know how you handle each situation, but I know from experience it is time consuming, frustrating, and messy. The best advice is to keep calm as much as you can, put those big boy underwear on him, and stay home as much as you can for the first few days :)
I absolutly 100% agree with Peg M. He just turned 3 and I know the books and people tell you its time but until he shows ALL the signs of being ready dont do it. I started my son at three and it went well for about 2 weeks and then it was a battle for years. Yes, years! (because we were told "you cant go back once you start")
We tried everything, charts, matchbox cars, candy, taking things away, etc. It wasnt until my husband and I backed off and let it be that our son started improving. Dont do that to yourself like we did. Even if it means waiting to start training until he is 4. The amount of stress and tension it brings to your household isnt worth it. My son just turned 6 and we are finally getting there.
Bottom line, wait wait wait! Dont worry about what others say or compare your child to other kids. Good luck!
My 3 yr old son just was not interested. Then I took a twist the offering candy as a reward for going potty. Instead of Candy I got a poster board, put his name on it, and went to the store with him to pick out stickers. I got a book of the small stickers for the times he went #1, and then the cool big stickers (ie. spiderman, Diego) for the hard #2.
He got to pick the sticker according to what he did, then put it on the poster baord all by himself. He loved it.
NOW my 2 yr old girl is regressing, and I think I am going to go to the store with her this weekend. I hope it works for you and your little one, as well as my daughter :-)
My sister let her son go naked from the waste down. He was potty trained in 4 days. I also have an on-line potty training book if you want it, Email me at ____@____.com and I'll forward it to you.
Good luck!
I offered my boys Matchbox type cars as a reward for going in the potty. I did this after having tried everything else I could think of to motivate them. This worked great. They wanted those sooooo bad that they would do just about anything to earn them. At the time, there was a Kids Connection brand (this is a Walmart brand). The actual cars had the Maistro brand name on it. You can still get these cars at Walmart in a multiple pack but they now have the Maistro brand on the package. These are Metal Die Cast cars just like the Matchbox cars but cost less.
