I Need Help Potty Training My 3Yr Old Son

Hi B.. Believe me, I sympathize with you. After having a difficult time with my first son I took a different approach with the second one. I took diapers away completely. Only pull-ups/diapers at night. Anyways, I would strip them completely from the waist down and every so often ask them if they needed to go. But when he would get the feeling to go there was nothing to go in so he would look very uncomfortable and then that was my cue to rush him to the potty. I know this sounds like too much work and not leave the house for sometime but it honestly took me a few days and we were 100% potty trained - minus those few accidents all kids can have. Hope this helps!!! Now wish me luck on my younger son who I will be doing this too really soon!

First and foremost, remember that all kids will do things on their own. My son was 2 1/2 when he potty trained and did so on his own account with very little help from me. He was just VERY interested in being independent. My daughter who is just now 3 is the big problem (and they say girls are easier):) One thing I did well with her to get her to this point is to stick to a pattern. Once I knew she understood and was just being stubborn, I pushed the issue by putting her into underwear and basically telling her she knew how to go potty and that she was a big girl now. To this day when she is in her pullups she will not use the potty. She calls herself "lazy". (she wears them to bed and at naptime) I wish you all the luck and certainly know what you are going through. He will eventually get it.

I used the 3 day potty training method with my son when he was not yet 2 1/2. It is worth the $24 and then some. It worked for my son as well as about 6 Moms that I have recommended this program to. Go for it!

You are not alone with having a 3 yr old son who is just starting to be potty trained. My son did'nt go to the bathroom on his own until exactly his 3rd birthday! I had a friend come over and she told my son that if he had to pee then let her know. So when it came time for him to have to go, he went and told her. She took him over to the toilet and she told him that if he stood up to pee in the toilet then he could make bubbles. Well needless to say, when he went he seen that there were bubbles (he was really big on blowing bubbles from those bottles of bubbles; you know the ones that are only pretty much made of soap?)in the toilet water when he peed! Now I am not sure if this is a sure fire way to get your son to go but I thought that was a cute and a bit of a funny story to share with ya. Little boys are hard to train and I actually thought that I was one of the rare one's that had trouble training a 3 year old! My son took a little longer when it came to going poop in the toilet. Well we mastered the pee thing anyway. But good luck to ya.

B.,
Please let me know if you find out any good ideas!! My son will be 3 in June and has no interest at all. He will sit on the potty if I put him there (and not happy about it) but will not do anything. He does not mind being wet or stinky all day if you let him. I have tried underwear and the same thing he will pee in them and be wet and not mind!! My daughter was easy to potty train. So let me know how it goes. Good luck :)
S.

We begged, bribed, yelled and tormented ourselves over my son not using the potty for a year. The when he was 3.5 he just was trained. He's had one accident in the last 1.5 years and I wish I hadn't pushed so much. They are ready when they are ready.

My pediatrician told me not to make a big deal out of it, that children learn when they are ready - he was right. I potty trained three sons. I found that it was easier to switch to undies during the summer months. When you are home during the day, let him just wear the undies so that it's easier for him to use the toilet in a hurry. It's also less clothing to clean when he has accidents. My first son was around 3 when he caught on, and the next two were around 2 1/2, but they had an older sibling to learn from. Just keep encouraging him when he does well without making too much of a big deal out of the accidents and he too will learn.

Hi B.!

I empathsize with you in regards to the patience required with potty training. I have a 3 yr old daughter who has not been interested in it. My husband and I have utiltized a potty training game that we hung up on our bathroom door (use a magnet to move 1 space for sitting, 2 for peeing, 3 for pooping; after so many spaces she can land on a reward space; and when she finally has a dry day, she gets to go on the bridge, after 3 dry days she gets to enter the castle and gets her crown).

At first she would just ask about it but didn't want to try it. Then at Christmastime when she turned 3, there was an insert advertising Land Before Time action figure characters which she loves. I placed that at the top of her potty game board with a magnet and told her she could choose one of those characters once she gets to her reward space. That motivated her! At first all she did was sit on the potty, but for us that was a big step. And like you, we had to do better about reminding her about consistency, since she doesn't have the habit and know when to go yet. By the time she received the 4th character, she actually has started peeing on the toilet (which she prefers to the potty). We are now going to make a reward box with a lot of non-monetary (like 30 min or 1 hr of one on one time with mommy or daddy) or inexpensive rewards (like a special type of candy that used only for this or stickers) that she can draw for her reward.
Anyway, so for us, it's patience, motivation and consistency that we're seeing progress. Our pediatrician said that some children are not ready until 3 or 3 1/2 yrs old. And I've heard some boys are not ready until 4 yrs old. Don't make a battle out of it because you don't want to make it about a power struggle and maybe he's not physically ready. Does he go for longer periods of time of dryness, showing he is getting control of those muscles? Also, kids of this age, can get easily distracted or so absorbed in what they are having at the moment, that they don't realize when they have to go, and it's too late. So, that's why it's important for us to keep checking them and reminding them when to go.

Good luck!

K.

(and if you want to check out the potty game that we are using, you can see it at www.iambabycrazy.com/kathompson or if you are crafty, you can make one up yourself. :)

B.,
I understand what you are going through. My son is four years old and was not potty trained until 3 1/2. First, ignore the fact that all of your friends' kids are potty trained. Each child is different and special.

I tried everything including the no underwear, but stopped because I grew tired of cleaning poop from the carpet and floors. When my son changed daycares, his new daycare used an approach which I adopted at home that was very exhausting. He had to only wear underwear during the day and be taken to the potty every 20 minutes, regardless of whether he had to go or not. This worked to get him to pee, but he refused to poop in the toilet.

I noticed that my son would start jiggling when he had to poop, then he would run to a private spot and go in his pull-up. I monitored him and whenever I saw him jiggling, I would place him on the toilet until he pooped. I also pinned a calendar on the bathroom wall and every time he pooped, I gave him a shiny star sticker and celebrated every time he went until he finally mastered the potty thing.

I wish you all the best!

As a mother of 4 girls and expecting a boy in July-yay, I can tell you that potty training is not always easy! I have learned that consistancy is definitely key though! Also, I make sticker charts and post them on the bathroom wall near the potty and for each success, I let them put their own sticker up to make them feel more proud. They all seem to like that praise. Instead of asking them if they have to go potty, say "Let's go potty" about every hour, then increase to every half hour. Be matter of fact about it and be as consistant as you can. Read a story while you're in there or sing songs. I know it can be tough, but hang in there, it will happen! =)

B.,
You need to be strict and consistent, this is the major problem with your plan, i believe. I have no experience with the 3-Day Plan, which I know is what you are looking for. In my opinion, there is no quick solution. My son is what I would consider potty trained at 2 1/2 and has been for 2 months now. Of course we still have accidents and we still need to get to the point where he tells us he has to go, but when I can take him out all day with no diaper bag, to me that's potty trained.
We follow the schedule that the day care uses for my son's potty and nap schedule during the day and it works. We also have him in underwear all day (not for naps or bedtime yet), which you can find for CHEAP at places like Marshalls or Ross. He wakes up - POTTY, 8:15 - POTTY, 10:15 - POTTY, 11:45 LUNCH then POTTY before NAP, wakes from nap about 3 hours later, POTTY, 4:00 - POTTY. Then POTTY every hour after that at night. Just take the kid up there and sit him on it. We also used jelly beans as pee pee rewards. Every time our son pees on the potty (even if we are the ones who initiate it), he gets a bean immediately afterward. In order to get him to poop on the potty, which takes more time to master, we bought a big box of Matchbox cars at BJ's club and he gets one of those immediately afterward. We have the jelly beans and the cars in the bathroom where he can see them as a reminder.
Anyway, best of luck to you. Be consistent and stick to a schedule, kids crave routine and you should see results.

I don't know anything about that program... but what I did for my boys when it came down to potty training.. is I made it a game. I put cheerios in the potty and taught them to "shoot" them. It not only made potty training a lot easier on me, and funner for them.. it taught them aim, so there weren't as many messes to clean up afterwards ;) Hope you find something that works for you.
~*~K.~*~

You hit the nail on the head when you stated that you haven't been strict or consistent. It's a cold turkey thing! Once you commit...you don't look back! Put him in undies (or naked)and let him go. He has to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that now that he is three, it is expected that he use the potty full time DO NOT USE PULL-UPS. You can use a reward system but do not punish. Just clean up his messes and put him right back into his undies. If he thinks that you'll cave, he will never even try.

B.

hi...i have a 3 year old son too ...so could you keep me posted on that too. thanks

I agree with the first response...undies only!! The whole pullups thing is such a crutch! I got my son potty trained before he was 2 1/2 in less than a week, simply by keeping his underwear on all the time. Sure, it was a pain cleaning up, I carried a ton of clothing changes everywhere we went, and kept his daycare supplied with a lot of clothing changes as well. But a little extra laundry meant fast results, and even when I wanted to put him in diapers just in case, for a long car trip, he refused. Give it a try, I think it really works.

Hi B.,

I can definetly speak from experience here as I have 6 children, all of whom I potty trained. I have potty trained 4 girls and two boys. Here's what worked for me. Regular underpants. The first few days were indeed a bit messy, but by the end of the week, my children were telling me when they had to go. I did indeed make sure that I asked them often to go sit on the potty, and anytime I needed to go to the store, they sat on the toilet prior to getting in the car and than I would ask them when we got to the store if they had to use the restroom. IMO you just have to stick to it, and not back down. He will get it.

T.

I totally sympathize. Potty learning can be made so stressful when you hear moms with stories like "Oh my son was toilet trained at a year" blah blah blah.
I think I would try blocking out a few days to a week when you KNOW you are going to be home all or most of the day. The day before, have him pick out a pack of underware at the store and explain to him that 'tomorrow we are going to use the potty'. Just state it matter of factly, without emotion.
Take him to the potty every 1/2 hour. Ask him to sit, but don't make him. If he goes, I would give him a treat. Maybe an M&M or letting him choose a small toy (we purchased a TON of hotwheels at a garage sale). The key is consistancy. Kids this age don't always remember that they need to go, or forget exactly what it is they have to do. Traditionally boys are much slower to use the potty than girls, especially for poops.
To be honest, I wouldn't waste your money on the plan. Millions of kids have learned how to use the potty without it, Im sure yours will too!!

I agree with Allison. You really just need to put him in underwear so he learns that it isn't fun to go in his pants. Also, does he have contact with kids his age? I worked in a day care with two and three year olds and found that it really helps when they see the other kids doing it. We had routine times at which EVERYONE went potty. With the little ones who were just learning, I'd call each one to go at least once an hour. They all sat and tried and we had quite a bit of success. Hope that helps!

It's all about consistency, and waiting until your child is ready, if they are ready it also comes down to making potty time a habit, going before and after meals, naptime/bedtime, before going out etc. even if they don't actually go it's just getting into the habit of doing the potty routine, also taking away pull-ups and diapers can help, feeling wet doesn't feel good and can be incentive to use the potty, and positive reinforcment does wonders - we used smarties, one smartie for each successful trip to the potty - the one thing you want to try to avoid is making it a power struggle cause these little guys can be stubborn and will resist going to the potty if they feel forced or pressured, make it fun, relaxed and just part of your normal day, cause this is what we do! A great DVD is by Bear in the big blue house, going to the potty - catchy tunes too:) Don't worry there's no exact timetable for potty training, every child is wonderfully unique and you'll get there:)
T., MSW, RSW

I'm dealing with the same thing from my 3 year old son - just no interest in doing it.
So a week ago a just stuck him in underwear and got out my kitchen timer. It made me remind him to go (about every 90 minutes or so), and it gave him a "consequence" (of wet pant) if he didn't go in the potty. We also reward him with a jellybean if he goes and his underwear is dry.
The first day we went through 5 pairs of pants, the second day 3, the third day 1, and he's been pretty dry ever since.
Poops are a little trickier, so I've used bigger rewards for that.
It is harder work for you for a while, but I got some cool underwear, and he want to stay in them.
Good luck!

I started on Monday to potty train my 3 yr son, who refused to go to the potty other than in the morning and before bath time, and today he is in underwear. I let him run the house in underwear and a shirt and every hour I sent him to the potty. He pooed the first day but had a few wet accidents.

At this stage, I suggest the "cold turkey" mehtod. Kind of a do it or else type thing. Nothing but panties or naked unless sleeping. If he makes a urine mess make him help clean up the mess. Keep a roll of paper towels and Lysol wipes on hand for hard floors. Supervise him doing everything for himself. Treats when he does well. Firm reminders when he doesn't. Good luck!

K.

Hi B.! I had a similar problem with my son. He wasn't trained until 3 1/2. It really doesn't matter when everyone else's kids do it. Every child is different. My doctor always told me not to push it if my son is resisting. It will only make it take longer. Just keep suggesting it, or use a reward system. My son got to put a sticker on a chart every time he tried, and if he actually went, he got a little prize (he loves M&M's!). Hope this helps! Hang in there...once my son decided to do it, it only took 3 days!

L.

I also have a 3 year old son, but he is now fully potty trained. It was a huge struggle, until I realized that he was using his training pants as an excuse not to use the rr. The training pants work the same way as diapers and pull the wetness away from the child. Found the ones that go cool did not work because he enjoyed the cool feeling, especially on a hot day. I just told him that this was the last pack of training pants I was buying and was not buying any more. When they where gone, that was it. So it was up to him if he wanted to be wet or not. I did make a stash of pull ups for going away times, and only used them for that time. Also set up a weeks worth for home, and another for nights. We did the cheerio thing in the toilet as well. Also, he got a bath every time he made a big mess in his pull up. We took him to the bathroom every hour asking if he had to go. When he ran out of pull ups, and started getting wet or very yucky if he had an accident, he did not like that very well and it made him cry. We would tell him accidents happen, get him bathed/washed up and tell him to try to make it to the restroom next time. Yes it is more laundry, but who in their right mind likes to feel that? It is a great motivater. Keep positive, be patient, and praise/encourage your son. My son is now mostly going to the bathroom on his own without someone having to be in the room and dry at nights. I still ask him every hour, limit what he drinks in the evening, make sure he uses the bathroom before bed and first thing upon waking up in the morning. OH, have him help shop for 'big boy' underwear and let him pick them out. This was a big motivator as well. Good luck!