Potty Training - Princeton Junction, NJ

I too am having a problem with my almost 3 year old daughter. For months now we have been trying to potty train her. Timing- trying to persaude her to wear "big girl" underwear etc etc. Nothing- it became to be entertainment for her because we would read short books. I kept stopping then starting again and NADA. She finally did "#2" in the toilet at my mother's and freaked out and started crying. My mother told her it was okay and she did a good thing- but was very upset. And since then she doesn't even want to go on anymore. I have been asking some friends and the next option I will try is the sticker reward program. Buy some "reward" stickers and little prizes from like a dollar store and decide how many stickers he has to earn for each time he uses the potty and at the end he can pick a prize from the "prize basket"- I hope this works for me and if you try it, hope it works for you too. Any other tips you get please forward to me as well. Good luck!

I don't know if I got lucky or what, but my kids potty trained really well. My cousin's son on the other hand did not. He refuses to even sit on the toilet. So what they did is not let him wear a diaper. I know it's not fun having to clean up, but it really worked. He got sick of going on himself and I think it made him realize when he had to go and he is now able to make it to the toilet on time. I also believe that he will go when he is ready. Every kid is different and potty training is one thing you should not push them to do if they are not ready. One other thing is I would give my son a m&m if he went on the potty. It seemed to help. Good luck!!

They have cute potty training seats that go on top of the bowl. Maybe you could find one of his favorite animals or characters......

I Have 3 boys. I can tell that you from my experience, 2 1/2 is too early for boys. My oldest son (now 12) was trained at 2yrs 10 mnths, My middle son (now 9) at 3 1/2 years, & my last one at 4 years. The one at 4 years trained in 1 day, and actually pooped before peeing on the potty, and only had one accident. One thing, though, never use pull ups for training, they are too much like diapers, and will actually make potty training last a lot longer. You need to actualy buy training underwear. You can get at babies are us. Gerber makes them they are 5 ply, and usually come 3 to a pack (between $6 - $7), and you wash them like regular underwear. Use the training underwear during the entire day & use a diaper at night. Boys are tough and take a lot longer than girls. Boys will train when they are ready to, not when the parents are ready to. I have been where you are and know this to be true. Best of luck & if you have any further questions, I will be happy to assist you.

Dear T., don't sweat it. I know sounds ludicrous but as a father of seven I've seen every mode of potty training there is. Our youngest is 4 and at age three months he had both spine and brain surgery. We were told he may not even have any sensation in that area so potty training could be a problem. We kept trying anyhow; he was now going on 3 1/2 with no real progress and going through the same stages you described. Amazingly he, by accident, got to see the Pirates of the Carribean (I'm so sorry he did) but anyway, was in love with Elizabeth and thought all the bad guys should be dealt with. So we had an epithany, "Son if you can stop going in your diaper at night we will buy you Pirates of The Carribean underwear to wear at night". Sounds crazy huh. It worked. It seemed like overnight he was all of a sudden asking to go during the day and was 95% of the time not going at night. We got him the underwear. Now at 4 he seems to never go at night and this is a boy who can sleep through a bomb going off. Was it the underwear? Probably not in the scheme of life but it was however an incentive that made him start to THINK about what he was doing and made him want to change his ways of doing things. Bottom line is not only are boys harder to potty train than girls (I have five girls so I know what I'm talking about), but no matter how much us parents sweat it, EVERYONE eventually learns in their own way to change a behavior we no longer want to do. So like I said, don't sweat it and if you can find something he's interested in, hey you never know what a little incentive might do. Be blessed!

This is what I did with my son, all diapers and training pants disappeared we put a potty chair in his play room or our living room, and we stayed with him for 3 days no distractions or leaving the house. We would have sit the fit day every hour on the potty and play with him or tv or book and then if nothing happened within 3 to 5 minutes we let him up. He wore nothing but big boy undies and sweat pants. We were able to pick up on his ques and get him on the potty in time because we were with him.

Every time the first day we gave him a reward when he used the potty.

On the second day we only had him on the potty every 1.5 hours and by the 3rd day he was telling us.

Just remember potty training should be done when he is able to holds it all night meaning you find dry diapers in the am. And you are ready for it. I am a firm believer in these 2 things. I feel one of the biggest parts of the potty learning process is you being able to keep on him to use the potty and be ready for the messes. If you know what I mean.

We waited for this and we were able to train our son both day and night and were done. Also if you can, do not let anyone with the exception of daycare help in this process because outside sources can set little ones back no matter how good their intension's are.

This solution may not work for you but it worked for one of mine sons. I have a 4 year old boy. It was quite difficult for my 4 year old to finally get through the potty training stage. We thought we had won the battle but when he told us that he was not going to use the potty any longer. We would ask and encourage repeatedly if he needed to use the potty. He even would hide under our dining table when he soiled his clothing. I was so frustrated I just wanted to cry. I dedicated a weekend to try to help him overcome any fears or problems he might be having. I used all the tips and tricks and also tried increasing fluids to encourage the trips to the potty. By the end of the weekend I was feeling pretty good until he not only wet but soiled his clothes right after I had went through the steps of reminding him. I took him into the bathroom and placed him in the empty tub and quietly asked him to clean up his mess and explained that I was no longer going to clean him up. We got all of the items clean and ran the bath. After this we had a talk about what happened and that I was no longer going to purchase the pull-ups that he was getting use to and if he chose not to use the potty he would be cleaning up the mess. I haven't had a problem since. My 4 year old is the last of 3 boys. Each child is different. My middle son was potty trained by 18 months because he liked candy. Good luck!!!

My husband and I bought those sticker books for both of our kids to do while on the potty. We did it with the thought that just sitting at first and not going to the bathroom was okay. The only time they were allowed to do stickers was in the bathroom.

Another trick we used was to try to pee on cherrios. You actually put Cherrios in the toilet and ask them to try and sink them but ultimately it all comes down to them and when they are ready. Both of my boys said, "When I turn 4, I will use the potty and never wear a diaper. I worked with them but when they came close to 4, they held true to their word and never went back. My youngest did have to wear something at night until he was 5 but other than that, I never bought another diaper.

So you can try different things and gimmicks but it really is up to them. It's not something that is easily forced. If you think about it though it makes sense. Kids are told what to do and what to eat all day long. The one thing they have complete control over is where and how they go to the bathroom.

I used to get all kind of flack from people who thought they should be potty trained by now and I just let it go in one ear and out the other. Pick your battles. Manners-definately, hitting-a no-no, etc. Wearing a diaper a few months longer than your friend's kids? Not such a big deal especially when your friends are dealing with the hitters and the biters...if you know what I mean.

As for my Mother and Mother-in-Law? I simply told them when they had their next child they could do it their way.

Good Luck. If he is polite and thankful and healthy and happy, who cares if he is potty trained right now? He will make up his mind one day and you will be done with it and on to a whole new set of problems...like not wiping good enough or at all at 8 years old. Let me know when that happens. I have a solution for that as well.

I had the same problem with my 2 year old son. I found that pull-ups are not helpful since kids won't feel the wet and uncomfortable as underwear. Keep using underwear, it usually works within a week. Once your son has idea when to go to washroom/potty (he would tell you before he pee or poop), then you may change back to pull-ups.

Also, I put a schedule to my son. I put him on the potty every mornings when he brushes his teeth. I asked him to poop every morning. At the beginning, you may need to sit next to him for 30 to 45 minutes. But when you stick to it, your son eventually would do it every mornings. (It doesn't have to be in the morning, you may pick a time that is convenience to you and you put him on the potty at the same time everyday).

And I would suggest you to give him some toys that he likes when he goes to the potty so that it could distract his fear. Also, encouragement is a must.

buy special toys that he own gets to play with while he on the potty like a floating boat and other stuff. put them in a small tub of water and his fit in the little tub while he sits on the potty. the wet will make him pee and teach him the feeling of needing to go . the toys might help distract him from the fear.

When my son turned 3 in November (a long time ago) I was so fustrated that he wouldn't use the potty and I kept trying and trying. I finally gave up and probably around March or April he just came up to me and said he didn't want to wear diapers anymore and would use the potty. Once he decided on his own, he never went back and never had an accident. I would give him some more time.

I think generally boys take longer. I know my son did. He didn't get fully potty trained until four and a half years old, but he was going through some emotional times that stalled the process. I would say give him some more time, he may not be ready. When my son was potty training we put cheerios in the toilet and let him try to hit them with pee, which was fun for him. They even have potty targets you can buy... they are fun colored pieces of paper that can be put in the toilet water for the boys to aim at.
Good luck.

R.

I have a 5 year old boy and a 2 year old girl. My son was very difficult to potty train. He still has accidents from time to time. Now my daughter just turned 2 and she wants to sit on the potty and is very interested. Through my experience, I learned not to rush them. when they are ready they will go, and every child is different. Also, girls mature faster than boys by 6 months. I would give it some more time, and if you are still concerned, consult with your peditrician for advice. Hope this helps?

Don't let yourself get frustrated or stress yourself out! Boy develop at a slow pace and will take longer to potty train. I used to do tricks with throwing cherrios in the toilet and having him aim at them. During the day when you are home with him put the underwear with training pant incase of an accident, when you give him something to drink wait 15 minutes and take him to the potty, running the water will help to get him started, put the diaper on at night and don't give anything to drink atleast 2 hrs before bedtime, then you will see if he goes in the night, it he wakes up dry rush him to the bathroom so he can better develop an understanding of what it is you want him to do, when you and your husband goe to the bathroom take him with you a couple of times. The toilet is very scary to them because it is so big, keep a lock on it, many children have slipped in the bathroom going to go and have hit their head, a child can drown in a bucket of water, always be with him in the bathroom.
When all is said and done: The best advise in pottytraining a boy from the pediatrician was to not rush him. At the time my son was 3 going on 4 and I was pregnant to deliver my second, I just reminded him that his underwear were in the draw and that when his brother was born the only baby here wa his brother. 3 months before his 4th birthday he just woke up not wanting the diapers anymore and now 13 he has never had any accidents. Good Luck Don't stress, it will happen naturally.

It's called with-holding. And yes it is so common that it actually has a name. Lots of kids go through it. My son never did this but my cousin's kids both did. It hurts them so they figure that if they don't go on the potty it will always hurt. My cousin use to hold her kids on her lap, facing her and they were strattling her legs so that they couldn't hold it in. And then put them on the potty. The way we potty trained my son was leave everything off his bottom. No pants no pullup no underpants. Just naked boy. This might be easier to do in the summer so he can be outside. But it only took us a couple months to get him fully potty trained. We started before Thanksgiving and just after New Years he was done. He hasn't worn a pullup since, well only at night.

I don't want to come off as sounding rude, but WHY are you letting a 3 year old tell you no?? You ARE the adult, right? What ever happened to the adult setting the rules and the kids following them? You have to be consistent, meaningful, and do what you say. If you tell your son to sit on the potty for 2 mins (set a timer) and then he can get up, then that's what you have to do. Let him run around the house naked - I had an aunt that potty trained all 3 of her kids that way - they got tired of going on themselves... But seriously - YOU are the adult... not your child.

In the whole spectrum of life 2 1/2 is still young, I have trained 4 out of my 5 little boys (my lil one is too young) and the most consistent thing I can say is they were all different...I had 2 that trained at 3...one right before one right after, one at 2 1/2...but that was his choice...and my last trained right before he turned 3 and then regressed after my last son was born and had accidents for a long time. The best thing I can say is watch your son see if there is a pattern (my son pees at 10am every morning and if he doesn't by 10:30 it's a mad dash) then you can offer him the potty 15minutes before he usually goes but other than that just WAIT, it's a lot less frustrating for you both, he will train when he's ready...most of my kids once they decided they were ready it was less than a week....besides look at it this way, it's a real pain in the tush when you have a cart full of stuff at the store and he starts screaming I gotta go pee :-) best of luck!

He may need to eat more fiber if it hurts..he is probably constipated
And there is something to be said for...they will do it when they are ready...just keep asking him everyday, and give him a sticker reward when he dose go. Good luck!

I am actually going through the very same thing right now.
My youngest will turn four in two days(I have three children)
And is very willing to use the potty everytime she needs to pee(she no longer wets her pull ups) and has pooped in the potty a few times, but-and I've went through this with my 1st two kids-she is scared to poop in the potty.
A few weeks back she started to hold it in and ended up constipating herself. It was very scary because she would experience strong cramping and cry but couldn't have the bowel movement. Our pediatrician recommended that I use a glycerin suppository(which worked great) and also advised that I stop potty training her b/c she obviously is not ready.
My daughter does not want to stop peeing in the potty but seemed relieved that it was okay for her to poop in her pull up. I had started her on the potty back in the Spring and she would pee in the potty but then abruptly stopped and decided she didn't want to anymore, which appears to be happening with your son. Yet now she enjoys to pee in the potty everytime!
My advice is not to rush him, because if he is not ready, it may only create problems for the both of you.I would continue to talk about the potty with him, keep the potty in the bathroom, just always keep the subject going. Read him books on the potty, show videos about using the potty,etc.
It may not seem like it right now but one of these days, he will surprise you and start to use it again, just like my daughter has. And chances are good that he'll initially be more willing to pee all the time in the potty but not so much poop, but that won't last long. With my 1st two children, they just suddenly started using it when they were ready. It's really a big step and a big change for them and it works best if it's done gradually with lots of patience and on THEIR terms.
Hope this helps!
Take Care and Good Luck!

Laura

P.S. I must comment on Kelli's response(several responses under mine). Potty training is a big deal and not something you can tell you're child they MUST do. It is not the same as telling your child how to behave, what clothes to wear, what shows they can watch, etc. It is much more serious than that and has to be handled appropriately.

I have a 2 1/2 year old, he has been trained for about 6 months now. But i remember one day he decided he didn't want to wear under pants, i had to think of something quick!!!! I told him we could go pick out new underpants like daddy wears. He picked all sorts of boxer briefs. I didn't mind spending the money and it made him excited cause it was something he picked and wanted to show off. I also did a potty chart and let him pick stickers to put on the chart.it was like a game. I'm not sure if you are putting him on the real potty or not but maybe try a fun training potty. The one i bought was a throne that played music when there was a splash. Now it seems i can't get him off the toilet. But from what i hear boys are harder to train and you have to let them go at their own pace.

I had the same problem with my son at the same age too. He knew how to go on the toilet and when he had to go but just refused. He would tell me when he peed or pooped in his diaper and wanted it changed. Even if I put underwear on him he would wet his pants.I thought he wouldnt want to be wet so he would go on the toilet-I was wrong. Someone gave me advice to not let him have a diaper or underwear on until he went pee first thing in the morning.It worked! He would get upset with me cause he didnt want to be naked(only because he had to pee) and didnt want to go on the ground. We did this periodically during the day and it probably took only about a week before we could let him wear his underwear all day and for him to go potty without wetting himself.( of course there were accidents and still a diaper at naptime and bedtime.

35 yr old mom with 5 children--my son was the toughest to potty train!

I know it can be frustrating but all I want to say to you is be patient.... the more you push for him to go and use the potty the more he's gonna not want to do it... use a lot of praise and encouragement, tell him that that's how big boys do it... we used to have a reward system with stickers where every time the potty was used we put a sticker on a chart and when the chart was full we got some sort of a reward for the good work. I also had a secret stack of M&M's in the bathroom and every time we had success we let them have some... after a while they wanted to go more and more becuse they knew they'd get rewarded for doing good on the potty.... actually they were looking for the secret stash of M&M's long after they were potty trained.... I hope this will help you, it may not work for everybody but it sure can't hurt to try it out... just remember, patience it the key.....

I remember when I was training my daughter, her cousin who was a year older was on and off with her potty training. When we went to visit for an extended stay the two girls became very competitive and the uninterested cousin now was very interested! They were actually fighting over the toilet - "my potty". Maybe a similar situation could be the catalyst he needs? Couldn't hurt!

Hi T.
I have a 2 1/2 yr old girl who was potty trained right after her 2nd bday in June, then went back to school in Sept and right back into Diapers. Now, 5 months later we are still going back and forth and it is so frustrating. What I find though, is a pull up doesn't help the situation, my daughter is far more likely to use the toilet when wearing a diaper, might just be her, yet she can unfasten a diaper quicker than pulling down a pull-up. At this point, as we have school, I am just doing whatever she asks. When we have our week off from school I am keeping her home, naked, the whole time. I was a nanny for 15yrs before having my own daughter, and potty trained at least 6 children in that time. And the way I did it was to stay home with the child, running around naked until they finally got it. Of course as a mother you have groceries to do, driving here and there, so you have to pick a week where you stock up the fridge and work on it. It will be exhausting with a lot of cleaning up and a lot of patience. So I also suggest you arrange something for yourself at the end, a nice reward for all your patience. Doesn't have to be expensive, for example I will do anything for an afternoon nap!! So ignore the issue for at least 2 weeks, don't say a word about the potty, then go for it. Hope this helps. Unfortunately my week doesn't begin until mid march, so I just sit her on the toilet randomly when she's home. One of these days we'll be rid of those size 5 diapers! Hope this helps, R.

Hi T.,

I am sure that this will upset a few moms, BUT this is what works for me,

I had the same problem, Basically I put my sons pants on with out a diaper or underwear, If you house is warm you could just not put anything on his bottom at all,

Then give him breakfast, and after breakfast a some coffee with cream and sugar ( Its a natural laxative and they go POO in 15 to 20 minutes after wards) Set the timer on the microwave, or if ou have an egg timer even better,

Set it for every 20 minutes and let him sit on the potty for 5 minutes infront of the TV so he can relax, you sit next to him,

IF he doesn't go you just set the timer again, and keep it up every 20 minutes

Eventually he will go,

WRITE DOWN THE TIME,

and then the following day same thing,

eventually he pees with no problems,

and the coffee will help him POO on command so atleast your just cleaning up PEE if there is an accident,

After lunch and before NAP use RUBBER pants you find in walmart for 3 dollars, Underpants and then BED

It helps them feel the wet, and its uncomfortable,

use BOXER SHORTS, INSTEAD OF TIGHTY WHITEY'S

m
MOM OF 3 BOYS