Potty Training My Almost 3 Year Old Girl

I just trained my 2-year-old. It took 4 months of constant fights, crying, screaming, accidents, etc. At the end of the 4 months, I finally gave up. We ran out of diapers and I refused to buy more. Two nighttime accidents later, she was fully trained. I have 2 friends who also did the same. They just stopped using diapers and the child was trained within a few accidents. We all still have the occasional oops, but for the most part all 3 of the mentioned children are completely trained for daytime, nighttime, and long car rides.

Hi Y.,

I posted such a similar question not too long ago. My almost 3 1/2 yr old daughter is doing exactly what yours is - holding it! The responses I got varied from she's not ready and to just wait - she'll let me know when she's ready - to you just have to tell her that she has to use the potty, work with her on it, and she'll get it. I've really worked hard this last month on it - from pottying every hour, to wearing underwear (which she'll pee in or in the floor if she's naked), to buying special underwear, to incentives, to Pull-Ups - etc. etc.
These last two weeks, I've taken a break. I decided maybe I'll try again in July. I really hope to have her trained by the fall (since summer is so much easier), but in the end it'll happen. I guess I just have to release my control of it for now. Not sure if any of this helps - but I totally understand. May your little one get it soon (as well as mine!)

L.

IMO every kid learns at his/her own pace and the age at which a child trains does not necessarily correspond to his/her intelligence or the skills of the parents (of course, I might be saying this b/c my girls were somewhere between 3.5 and 4YO when they finally 'got' the potty thing ;-)).

For some kids (like one of my girls, who like your DD seemed to be able to stay dry for hours yet seem totally clueless about how to let the pee out into the potty) it can be helpful to spend some time playing outdoors or in some other easily-cleaned area with a potty nearby and just a long t-shirt on so it's easy for them to sit themselves on the potty and go, without having to get any clothing out of the way. I think my DD was better able to recognize she was about to go when she just had the tshirt on, and eventually she was able to recognize the "I gotta go" when she had her regular clothes on, early enough to be able to get to the potty in time.

So IMO just keep doing what you're doing and she'll get it in time. I've told people that I think potty training is like mountain climbing - some people have the courage and energy to take the quick steep ascent up the face of the mountain, while others will opt for the longer, slower trail that winds along the sides of the mountain.

hi Y., i had the same issue w/ my daughter...she's 3 1/2 now and just got fully trained with no accidents for a month now. what i had to resort to was leaving her in panties and once she felt her pee run down her legs she hated it and i would explain to her that it goes in the toilet and to let me know when she had to go. it took a week of accidents and triumphs. by week 2 she only needed the diaper for nite time, no accidents diuring the day! good luck and b patient...=)

she will do it when she is ready not when u r ready :) My daughter was 3 1/2 when she picked up one day and decided to go on her own-now before she did this I encouraged and talked and aske dabout the potty but never pushed and BAM she was done-she had one accident since-that was a year ago. Now my son who is a bit over 3 did the same thing, but he will not poop on the potty-he wears underwear all day and pees and when he poops I put a diaper on,yes I am frustrated, but do not allow him to see it-he will go in the potty when he wants, and wears pull ups at night-we call them big boy pants for night and it works for me. Good Luck-relax and lay back-they will do it-the more pressure-the more they resist. L.:)

Girls usually are easier/quicker. Key word: usually. Every child is different, and each gets there by their own route. Some pee earlier, poop much later, and some switch that. Some night train quickly and some need a few additional years. And so forth.

I congratulate you for not pressuring your daughter. It sounds like she's still figuring out the sensation part of it; recognizing the urge and identifying which physical response will allow her to let go. Pressure would probably only create a layer of anxiety or anger that would confound her ability to focus. She might need a few more weeks, or she might wake up tomorrow and have success.

I remember a camping trip shortly after my daughter was trained. The sensations of trying to use an outhouse, or even squat behind bushes, were so different than what she had come to recognize that the poor little kid was confused, frustrated, anxious and uncomfortable for a couple of hours before she finally had a successful try. Boy, was she relieved (and so was I).

By putting the diaper on her, you are indeed encouraging her to pee in her diaper. It's really that simple. If you stop using the diaper she will use the toilet. She's 3 and still wearing a diaper. She can hold it for hours knowing full well that you will reward her with a diaper. Stop using the diapers. If she is NOT able to stay dry during the night, use pull ups ONLY for night time but during the day, stop using diapers, stop putting underwear on her. Let her run around naked. She WILL use the toilet this way. A child does not like to dirty themselves and the feeling when she is naked will be more prominent for her to have no choice but to use the toilet. Put her on the toilet every 30 minutes or every hour and only when she does something in the toilet should you reward her with a special treat that should ONLY be associated with potty training. I used Gerber gummy treats. They come in little bags in a box in the baby food aisle. ONLY give her one treat, not one bag. You have to be consistent. If she wants to nap, then she must pee and/or poop on the toilet before nap time. Do not reward her with a diaper because then you have allowed a child to dictate who is in control. A child must never win control. Good luck.

I put the potty chair by the toilet and when I went to the bathroom I would tell my daughter "lets go potty now". While she sat on her potty I went to the bathroom also. I never did really have to potty train her. She did it all on her own. My second daughter was a little harder to train. She did great most of the time but would wet at night. I broke her from wetting to bed by buying some pretty panties and new bed sheets and put them up where she could see them but not have them. She was told when she quit wetting to bed she could have them. Along with that the same day my Dad told her she couldn't go camping with Grandpa and Grandma if she wet the bed. She stopped right then. The only time she wet the bed was when her poor excuse of a Dad would call and talk to her. The school finally stood up for her and told the case worker that she couldn't talk to him any more as is was causing mental damage to her. Thank God for teachers that truly care..

My two girls were more difficult than my two boys. I'm not sure where the "girls are easier" came from...LOL I'd just keep putting her on the potty every 30 minutes to 3 times daily, whatever works for you etc. I used to offer pennies to my son. That was a real motivator for him. 1 penny for pee, 2 for poo and 3 if he did both...LOL It worked for him. He had just turned 2.

Good luck!

I went through this about 2 weeks ago with my son who is 3 1/2. Putting him in underpants and letting him wet himself did not work. What did work for us was me telling him the precise time that his pee pee would need to come out, about 30 minutes after a meal or large drink. So I'd say: Your pee pee needs to come out at 12:30. Then, he could check the clock to see if his pee pee needed to come out. That gave him the incentive to go try, and he wasn't holding it anymore because he knew that it needed to come out. (Plus, we got to work on our numbers.)

Like everyone has said, all kids are different, and she will eventually get there, regardless of how.

Take her when she wakes up, after meals, before and after naps, before putting on her diaper at bedtime. You will get her "timing" as a guide. It shouldn't be too hard, since she already holds it for hours. Good luck

She's not even three.......leave her be and I promise you with everything I have, she will do it when she's developmentally ready and not one minute sooner because you want her to. There is nothing wrong with her (unless you see signs of a delay). In this country 2.5 -3.5 is quite typical. With both my girls, they asked for panties and that was the day they were both trained a few accidents on the floor and that was it. Expect accidents and even encourage them by letting her run around at home bottomless. When she feels it dripping down her leg is a teachable moment.

There are some potty training books that you can get from the library or the store. My daughter had a rough time going potty too, so I understand she is now 8 years old. I used to sing a song when she went to the potty to try and motivate her to go "You pee in the potty, You pee in the potty, You pee in the potty, good job, good job, good job" I would clap, dance jump up and down, give her high fives and a hug. I would get her excited about going, making it a big deal. I would also put her on the training pants with underwear on top of it and then slowly transition to underwear only for a couple of hours in between, telling her to let me know when she has to potty. Taking her in the bathroom when I had to go to show her going to the potty is okay. Eventually she got it and it was just underwear during the day and training pants or pullups at night. Just be patient all children are different.

O. C.

Make wearing Dora's dependent on going in the potty. My daughter couldn't have her elmo's until she went in the potty, then she'd get to wear elmos until the next accident. I say ditch the diapers and get her trained.

She isn't going because it takes 12-15 hits before they understand "control." Be patient, give her lots of opportunities, and use the Dora's to motivate.