Postpartum Depression - Escondido, CA

Hi A.,

I just had a c-section the end of March and brought home my beautiful little girl. She is my first. My mother also felt that I was suffering from PPD and suggested I talk to my doctor. I would break out in tears for no apparent reason and was snapping at my fiance and mother.
After calling my OB/GYN they scheduled me for an appointment that day. My doctor put me on a mild anti-depressant and it has helped a LOT.
I have never been prescribed any drugs for depression before so I was nervous, but I am so glad I decided to take them.

I think you do have it too. I was the same way with both my kids. My boyfriend jokes, seriously, that if we decide to have another baby we're getting me on happy pills. I will tell you that ppd ruined our relationship and I split from him for a year and a half or so. I felt really bad for making him leave and I wanted him back all the time, but I felt like he and myself deserve better than what we had. We have been best friends for years now and we had our youngest together. My oldest isn't his. He helped raised my oldest from 6 months and then we were together until our youngest was 6 months. I hated myself for pushing him out of "his" sons life for so long. We got back together when our youngest was 2 years and 5 months old. My oldest was turning 6 years old. We have a great relationship like we had before and we love each other as much as we ever did, but we now know that when I get crazy and want to leave him, or fight with him that he doesn't do anything, he's the bread winner, and also when I just don't want to be near him it's time to take a pregnancy test and go see a doctor. :)

A.,

As a person who battles depression, I wouldn't discount the possibility of ppd...I would definitely suggest talking to your doctor about your symptoms...having said that, being a new mom changes everything.

My husband is a wonderful father/husband and there are those who think I am crazy when I complain about something he does/doesn't do...but they don't live with him! lol If I can, I would like to suggest you read "Babyproofing your Marriage"...it's a great book written by three women who's marriages have survived...it's kind of a humorous way at looking at the changes that we, our husbands, and our families go through when a baby is brought into our world.

Maybe you need to relax about HOW your boyfriend does things a little, maybe he needs to step up a bit and change a few things...who knows. Maybe you have ppd and that is the root of the situation...or maybe you're just overwhelmed and need a break...whatever the reason, remember that you are not alone and you and your boyfriend are a team and need to work together.

Good luck!

I was overly stressed when my third child came home- a routine helps... check out www.flylady.net. It helped me.

I also had an amazing Doctor who realized I was majorly sleep deprived (and lacking in B Vitamins). She gave me a shot of B every few weeks over about 2 months and I felt like myself again.

Sometimes we just need some extra nutrition. I have since discovered a great nutritional supplement that helps me with my day to day life(4 kids & 2 businesses.) I take a smoothie in the am & another mid-day and the stress is not so stressful. Email if you would like any more info.

It might not be postpartum. When I was pregnant and still years later I have symptoms of clinical depression. I was 21 at the time. Our bodies change as we get older, so I don't know if it was body changing or the pregnancy that ignited it. See a doctor, discuss medication, counseling, etc. Bring along your boyfriend. It could save your relationship. Also as Connor gets older, parenting will become more difficult.

I did the same thing after my daughter was born. They say its post partum. But try to find a babysitter and go have some adult time. That may make a world of diference. I didn't believe my doctor when he said exercise helps with the moods. So he put me on prozac which did help. I stop taking it after a while and tried walking everyday. that helped alot to. cause I don't like taking medicine if I don't need to. I worry about long term effects. My mom pointed it out to me too.

hope this helps
M.

Hi A.,
PPD is really common (10-15% of moms) and is not only harmful (if untreated) to your relationship with your boyfriend, but also your baby. Though your OB can give you meds, it is best to get a referral to someone who is a mental health specialist. See if you can get a referral to a psychiatrist, who can prescribe for you, and/or a therapist who is familiar with PPD. Research has shown that meds are helpful if taken properly but PPD is best treated with counseling as well. Make sure if you're breastfeeding that they use meds that are okay so you don't have to wean prematurely. Also, there are lots of other things you can do to help - exercise is super important, as is eating healthy. If you can join a group like Stroller Strides in your area, it's a great way to get exercise WITH your baby (so you don't pay for child care) and build a support system of other moms. Some preliminary studies show that boosting your intake of Omega-3 Fatty Acids might help (Whole Foods sells a supplement if you're worried about mercury content in fish - which most of us are!) Check with your doctor first of course. You can also try alternative therapies if you want - homeopathic doctors, acupuncture etc. There was a great article on PPD and post partum psychosis (severe and much more rare) in the last issue of Mothering magazine - you might be able to find it on their website.

There are also support groups for moms with PPD and there's tons of info on the web if you google it. Just remember - you're not alone and it's not your fault. They don't really know what causes PPD but you didn't do anything wrong. Have your boyfriend read some of the info you find too, so that he understands what you're going through and can make an effort to support you. Good luck with it - and get help soon!

I sure did deal with it. It was a tough time and I only got thrue it by actually admiting I had it and it was a problem and I was doing the best I could. I finally went to a doctor and tried some meds, but ultimatly just knowing that I had it for sure and it would and could go away made it easier for me. I would say it finally passed around eleven months later. Best of luck!

Sounds exactly like I felt. I was angry at my husband and my step kids for the slightest infraction. Everything set me off. I loved my new baby and all was well with that, but everything else in my world seemed less than satisfactory. I didn't realize I was so unhappy until my baby was about 14 months. I then realized after talking to a dear friend and a good doctor that I was depressed, not myself. She put me on a mild anti-depressant (I was still nursing), and within 2 weeks, I felt like myself again. It was a much needed awakening, and all is well with the world again. Not that my husband doesn't upset me now and then for dumb things, I just don't get that rage or overwhelming feeling of disappointment anymore. See a doc, I think you need some help. Therapy at the very least! Take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby and your relationship! Best of luck.

Hi A., I was never dx with ppd, but I remember how hard it was when my son was born--he was my first...I was nursing him and it felt like I never got a break!! Take heart, you're not the only one...you'll get through it! Even though it doesn't seem like it now, each phase goes by fast and once your son is a little older it won't be so hard! Take care of yourself! I hope this helps a little. :)
J.

I had PPD for 18 months before we realized what was going on with me. I was overly agitated (picking fights with hubby over everything), couldn't concentrate, was constantly exhausted. I just kept thinking it was normal sleep deprivation but it continued after she was sleeping thru. Now that I'm well medicated, its easy to see what was going on. Make an appointment with your OB and get a referral to a psychiatrist.

Hi A.,

I have been in that boat, twice. My first son was a lot worse because I didn't realize what was happening. I knew I was mean and unappreciative, but I didn't know how to control it. I felt, literally, out of control, stressed, tired all the time and just wanted to be alone.

With my second I could already see the signs of depression setting in...I would go to your doctor and let them know what you have been experiencing. I was put on an anti-depressant (Celexa) and I am starting to feel like myself again, FINALLY! It was frustrating for not only my husband, but for myself too. My husband and I rarely had fights, when I was depressed it was a daily occurance. I would seek help, it wouldn't hurt to talk to your doctor about it.

Good Luck!
A.

Hi A.,
I would suggest you go see a doctor right away. Even if it turns out that you don't have PPD, it's worth checking out. You hear about these mothers who normally wouldn't think about hurting their children but end up doing so because they have PPD. For your families sake, just go talk to someone. Also, have grandma watch Connor so you and your boyfriend can go out. I know it's hard. I have a 14 month old and I still have a hard time leaving her but it definitely help mine and my husbands relationship.
Good luck!
C.

A.,
I had PPD after my first child was born, but was in serious denial. I just thought that I was having a hard time adjusting to motherhood and it took a huge toll on my marriage.
From what you have described, it sounds exactly like my situation. My recommendation is to talk with your OB and have your mom or boyfriend go with you to tell your OB what has been going on with your personality. Sometimes it is hard for you to "see" what is going on with yourself. Sometimes exercise and fresh air help me, but ultimately I started taking medication. The medication has significantly helped my mood swings and has reflected positively on my marriage and family.
Good luck and feel better.
D. L.

Have you been to your OBGYN?
i would consult with him/her about it. If it is PPD, then there are lots of options out there. I had twins who were 8 weeks premature. I had a moderate case of it and my doctor prescribed Effexor that really helped. I was on it for about 4 months and then I was my old self again!
I think Mom's with premature babies are more prone to this (that's what my doctor said)!

Dear A.,

Two things, first you need to go to the doctor and get some help. Secondly, you do need to lower your standards when your boy friend helps you. The baby won't be hurt, but your relationship with the father is extremely important and you need to build him up, not knock him down. The baby needs a good relationship with Dad too. Be sure to put the baby to bed early in the p.m. so that you two can have private time. Try to find something to laugh about. It makes life more fun and you will get out of your depression sooner. Being a little depressed is like being a little pregnant - it IS depression and it is hurting you and your family.

Sorry about being so blunt. C. N.