Posting on Facebook--Help Me with This Please

It sounds like you see this family often enough. Do NOT post anything on Facebook, or even send a private message on FB. She will just delete you and I think that will make things even worse. Instead, the next time you see her (don't mention the FB status), simply ask how she's doing and let the conversation go from there. She was probably just venting.

Now, if this FB post can potentially cause problems as far as custody of the teen goes, then you may want to take a different route. Just tell her that you've watched her grow and know how frustrating it is to be in her position, everyone gets angry with their parents/caregiver, but she's in the best place for her. Venting on FB could actually be used against her grandparents as a weapon, and that though she feels this way now, or at that time, it could cause her pain down the road.

P.S. You are a good friend for watching her online behavior for her grandparents. They are lucky to have you as a friend.

Kids say all kinds of things they don't mean. If you post anything she doesn't like she'll just block you. Let it go.

I would not call her out on it, maybe post 'if you need to talk feel free to call or e-mail me'.... if she does take you up on talking during the converstation let her do most of the talking and try to help her the best you can. You can tell the grandparents that she wrote the hurtful message and let them deal with it, or they may ignore it.

Don't post anything. She's a teen, all teens dislike their parents or the one(s) who raised them at some point. We just didn't have Facebook when we were teens. If you say something she might delete you and you won't be able to keep an eye on her anymore. If you really feel like you should say something, cool down first, but you can send her a message on Facebook. Keep it positive and remind her how much they love her, something like that.
I would just let it blow over though. You don't need to get it in the family drama. One day she will look back and feel bad for her hurtful words.

I do not think I would call her out on FB or comment her out on FB. Kids feel they "hate" parents all the time. Her GP are like her parents sounds like. We did it too when we were kids, we just said it on the phone to our girlfriends... Remember going out slaming the door and saying under our breath "I hate you!" Well today with the internet, just more people know it. I think all I would post at the most is "I am here if you need to talk." "I can listen...."
If you say something across her wall to try to make her understand or feel bad, she will "Defriend" you and you then will not know what is going on.... Be careful.

don't post anything on her wall. she will delete you as a fb friend and then you won't be able to see.

The problem with facebook and blogging is it is public. Back when we were kids, we wrote in our diaries how much we hated our parents/family, it stayed in our diary under our bed for no one to see. Today, FB is their diary...sad but true! We all need to vent and get our feelings out, IMO FB isn't the best way to do that...but it seems that is what it is used for. I dread the day that our kiddos are old enough to have a FB account.

I don't think I would say anything about it. If you do, she will probably defriend you!!

My sister's 2 step daughters (2 teenagers) were saying some awful things to each other on facebook. Not only was I embarrassed that they would do that, but I emailed the 16 year old and said how ashamed I was and that I thought she was above that.

Neither kid de-friended me on facebook, but when I had a chance to see them face to face I told them what my interpretation of the whole conversation was about. The older daughter denied that she ever said she hoped her sister would commit suicide, but I told her that even tho she didn't say those exact words, because she mentioned "if you commit suicide I wouldn't cry a tear" - it was the same thing.

I also stressed that facebook was no place to vent about each other and that neither of them were truly old enough to have an account and if I were their mom, I would have removed them at once.

Now, ironically, their mom is a friend to both of them and didn't even bat an eyelash.

They said they removed the post and I haven't seen them lash out at each other since.

So, in your case, why not take the girl for some ice-cream, ask how things are going and then mention that you were disappointed in her posting. If she respects you (which I'm sure she does), she wont de-friend you. If no one says anything to her, she may not think anything is wrong with venting and it could escalate.

Nah--won't do any good. Telling the grandparents will also just hurt them, too.

Trust your instincts and don't call her out on it.

It sounds like a little girl who is having a really hard time and needs someone to be there to help her through it.

My 14 year-old niece posted pictures of herself in a bikini on FB the other day but didn't have privacy settings on them. I opted to send my sister, her mother, an e-mail asking her to take a look. I was just giving her an FYI.

Obviously, this is a more serious situation to which you'd posted about, but the need for discretion remains. Do you have a relationship with her that you can take her under your wing, give her some comfort and ask why she's doing this in a non-threatening way? What she's doing is wrong, but it sounds like it's a family issue, and the grandparents need to be the ones to address it. Bring it to their attention (as much as it may hurt) and let them take it from there.

Good luck.

I kinda have to laugh a bit because my younger cousin (15yo) posted the other day he hates the family etc... and his niece who is 3yrs older than him commented and said - Fine then no McDonald's or Movies this weekend ;) LOL. I commented and said - but we LOVE YOU ;) (And I am 20+ yrs older than him). Rather than tell my Aunt (who is like my big sister) I dealt with it in a joking manner because I know he is a teenager and is venting. We all laughed about it later, his mom saw my post (as did other members of the family - infact all us "older" cousins did the We Love you stuff and he just kept posting "UGH" "LOL" and things like that) We know he needed a place to vent and the next morning he was all happy again.