Post Partum Depression

I think that you are a very strong and brave woman! Kuddos to you for taking meds and knowing that you needed them. There are tons of women who have had post partum depression and haven't had the guts to deal with it because they feel badly about it or crazy. I had a bout with it with my first baby and with meds and time it worked out. Stay strong and be happy!

Hang in there A.,

I know exactly how you feel! With my first (3) I had PPD. I was actually hospitalized for 5 days because of it. I had sucidal thoughts and felt that my baby was not safe with me. I also felt guilty for having these feelings and never being happy as a mother. I had the depression for almost 2 years. It was very tough to get through, but the pills are the very first step and really help. To me it was like a boost, to get through the day and take care myself and my baby.IT IS NORMAL TO FEEL LIKE THAT. Don't let anyone let you feel like it isn't. One of the most important things is to get support from other mothers and help taking care of the baby so you can get rest and not go crazy. I really hope this helps.

Sincerely,
N.

A., Please don't feel bad for wanting the best quality of life for youe family. For most Moms it is a temporary situation. The only alternative I have seen work well is Chinese Herbs and Acupuncture. The herbs nourish your body and the acupuncture helps to balance you. I wish you well and chin up!! I'm glad you care enough to do something that you are not completely comfortable with so you can enjoy your baby.

As a midwife I would say you might want to give St. John's Wort a try. Clinical studies have shown it relieves depression better than the meds and is natural. I also think natural remedies have a better chance of moving your body into balance where you no longer need antidepressants.
Remember you do have a full time job and another 24 hour a day job as a mother. It is the hardest job in the world and we aren't prepared for it or given credit for the awesome and life changing thing it is.
I have a website if you are interested. www.inspiringbirthstories.com
Best of luck in all your endeavors. D.

I hope that you are overwhelmed with responses from women who KNOW exactly what you're going through, because you ARE normal and there are thousands of women out there who have felt the same way!! Besides suffering from postpartum depression with my second child, I also have been taking antidepressant medication for the past 13 years. Like you, I hated taking a pill to feel "normal" but I finally realized that it was either that or my whole family suffered. More importantly, though, YOU suffer, and there's no need for it. A., if the medication helps, take it. As a doctor once told me, "If you were a diabetic and needed insulin every day to balance out your system, you'd take it, wouldn't you?" In addition, there are support groups all across the country for what you're experiencing. You need to find one, because right now you need all the support you can get. Also, check out Brooke Shields. She not only suffered postpartum depression, but she wrote a beautiful book about it. I wish you the best of luck and a happy life with your beautiful family!!

Don't feel guilty. I was on them after I had my first child. I too felt ashamed and guilty that I needed them. But you need to look at it differently. Taking these pills is not always a permanent thing. You may just need them for awhile and then you and your doctor can decide if you can be weened off of them. If taking these pills is best for you, then it is best for your family too. Sometimes our bodies get out of whack and we just need some re-balancing. Don't worry. Just be open with your doctor and yourself in case you need to switch medicines. If you don't like the meds you are on, ask your doctor for alternatives. There are many anti-depressants out there. Find the one that is best for you. Again, don't feel guilty. You are normal.

I have ppd as well. I suffered for 6 weeks with it after my first baby so right after the second one I got the rx right after he was born. I feel better knowing that I can take something everyday to help take the edge off of the way I may be feeling. It always helps to talk to someone who has been there. I wish I had someone to talk to after my first baby. I am here if you need someone. As far as taking a pill everyday don't sweat it. Depending on your case you may only need to be on it 3months or up to a year. There is nothing wrong with you, having a baby really can mess up ones hormones. It does get better. Hang in there.

Oh, A., you are not a freak. I have dealt with depression for years and am absolutely terrified of it becoming PPD. My son is two weeks old and yesterday morning all I did was cry, I had been feeling pretty fine until then but forgot to take my Zoloft the day before. I'm pretty sure that's what messed me up for yesterday. I had to deal with all the feelings of "why can't I just be happy with my life" etc a couple years ago when I finally decided I needed help, but I can see how it would be so much worse and harder to deal with that in the throes of PPD. Maybe you could try thinking of the pill in a different light, like that it is a temporary thing and it's just going to help you get better so you can be yourself for your children, rather than looking at is as a necessary evil. Good luck and I hope you start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel soon (hug).

A.,
Postpartum depression is real and anyone who is condescending is off their rocker! Depression is real and people from all walks of life experience it. If you had a heart condition would you take a pill to correct it? Hormones can cause many problems like migraine headaches and depression is one imbalance in your body. If however you want to stop taking the pill everyday, you might want to take a supplement or something to help with the imbalance in your system. I would have your hormone levels checked and find what is causing the problem. My doctor checked mine and I have been able to eat differently as well as take a supplement that help balance out some of the problems.
Exercise also is a great way to help release positive endorphin in the brain.
You also might try getting a little time to yourself! If you are working and your baby is young you could use a date with your husband. You need to spend some quality time with him and enjoy couple time that is so very important for your marriage.
C. B

You are popping the pills so you CAN enjoy your kids. PPD is a real condition. I suffered with it after the birth of both my babies. I am still taking the anti-depressants. I feel like I am a better mom because I do take them. I feel more capable to deal with life and enjoy my kids to have my feelings and hormones in check. You wouldn't feel bad to take medication to help your cholosterol or anything else. Anti-depressants should be no different. Good luck to you...you are not alone in this.

I don't think you are a freak and you are right, it is not your fault. I had post partum with my son and it was horrible. I just had my daughter 5 weeks ago and I started taking the "pill" 2 weeks before she was born to curb those horrible feelings. People that have never experienced can't possibly know how horrible it feels. It is so overwhelming. If it takes a little pill to get rid of those horrible feelings I am all for it. I have felt so much better this time around. I feel like this time I am able to enjoy my baby more and that is what is important.

I have always found the topic of post partum depression of interest.....something of note, is that there is some research out there now demonstrating that especially woman in the US tend to be extremely low in our Omega 3 Fatty Acids which tend to be from Fish Sources. Until this past year for the most part the FDA had advised to basically eliminate fish from pregnant women. Then, this past year they revised it due to the research demonstrating that since woman were decreasing their intake of fish, that there was an increase in post partum depression. Now it is advise, that if you are nursing to simply consume only low Mercury content fish, ie, Salmon, Sardines, Catfish etc. Additionally, many of the high risk OB's are now advising women to consume Omega 3 FA supplements 2 grams which is usually 2 capsules, with Vitamin E 400 IU's every day (this helps to increase the bodies ability to use the Omega 3)(Or so it has been explained to me). This might be an option for you, at the very least it could not hurt you, and anything is worth a try at this point based on your frustration that you vented on your posting. I hope this helps. I am not a dietitian or a nutrition specialist, just a recent new mommy myself, always eager to keep abreast on health options for myself and my family.

It has been over 26 years since I suffered personally from post partum depression and at that time Dr's didn't really recognize it, but I know it exist as you definitely do.

Now I'm in my peri-menopause years however, hormones are still the culprit. Something I wish I had known about then is bio-identical hormone replacement using creams. They are made from plants to replicate our natural hormones exactly not just kind of the way your body metabolizes them, and although anti-depressants can be helpful you can actually do both thus helping you to wean off the pills and cream as you go.

Post partum depression is basically Estrogen way out of control that after pregnancy should go back to its norm but is some does not, thus you end up with Estrogen Dominence. There really isn’t anything you can do about the high Estrogen, but you can raise your Progesterone Levels to help balance you out, thus making you feel calmer and more at peace.

A place I have found to be very helpful and that takes insurance for both the saliva test & prescription cream (which is a plus) is ProfileHealth. You can find them on the internet for more information at http://www.profilehealth.com to find more out and then if you want to see what your insurance and prescription coverage will cover just give Jennifer a call at ###-###-#### she is really helpful.

The best part is they mail the test directly to you for you to take in the privacy of your own home. Keep in mind you will take the test on the 21st day following your last period. If you are nursing and not having a period make sure to mention that so they can instruct you on when to take the sample. Then you send it back postage paid in the envelope provided and within about 2 weeks someone will call you to set up a phone appointment with the Doctor to go over your results and their suggestions. They do also have valley locations if you want to actually take the time to go the Dr., but I have found the at home way to be a huge time saver. This is also great since they do not just look at your test results, but also your symptoms which are really just important.

I wish you all the best in getting back to yourself and trust me you will. Feel free to call me at by business ###-###-#### and ask for D. should you have any questions.

Feeling bad about having PPD, and anxiety about talking about it, are part of the symptoms for a lot of people. Talk about a self-perpetuating cycle!

I had PPD with my first child. I felt like a total failure for not being able to "handle" everything myself! Our bodies seem to betray us in all sorts of ways related to childbirth and it is frustrating.

Just think of it as part of your recovery, part of the "fourth trimester" (I ended up taking pills until my son was about 7 months old). Find a playgroup with kids the same age, or you may find yourself naturally building closer friendships with people who have kids that you already know.

Your friends who haven't been through it are probably honestly trying to help, but aren't sure what to do. Maybe give them a chance to do what they're good at, let them take you out for a break once in a while!

Hi A.,

I am a 40yr SAHM with a 1 year old daughter. Our first and the light of my life. I have discovered that nutrition plays a big part in my hormones and how I deal with emotional ups and downs. I know I cannot eat enough healthy, non-processed foods to stay balanced so I take a nutitional suppliment. I really does help. It even helps with my cycle. I don't have the cramps and flow I used to. I would love to tell you about it. I know you will get alot of helpful advice and I don't want to bombard you. Let me know if you would like more information.

I would love to help!!

D.

A.,

There is absolutly nothing wrong with having to take an anti-depressant after having a baby or even before hand for that matter. I have had to take them for a little while and then was weaned off and it made a world of difference. I have had friends that really needed to be on them and it was suggested by their doctor but they refused and they were miserable and so was everybody around them. I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to feel good and enjoying your time as a new mom. Good luck and remember just because you take anti-depressants now doesn't mean that you will be on them forever!

Maggie

All mom's feel guilty! It's what we do. The most guilt comes from not feeling like we are good enough. We feel like we should be able to handle everything on our own. It's okay to need help, in this case that means that damn pill. Trust me, you are helping your kids and saving your marriage by keeping your levels in check. Hang in there! -fellow sufferer.

Don't feel bad! At least you are taking that pill and dealing with the PPD properly. I had terrible depression and waited until my son was 9 months before I finally broke down and went to a doctor for a prescription. I am SO GLAD that I did! I am less stressed, I don't feel down all the time, wanting to cry (it was a near-daily occurrence for months) and I feel like my old normal self again. It helps, and that's the best thing for me and my child, so I'm all for it. I plan to stay on the anti-depressants for six months and then see how I'm doing without them, but I have to say that I feel relieved, not guilty, for finding a solution to my depression issues.

I suffer from chronic depression that just worsened after both of my kids were born. I hated taking a pill every morning, too, but it doesn't have to be a forever thing. Don't look at it as something bad, but a temporary assist. What you're going through is 'normal' only in the depressive circle, and it's hard as hell to talk about this with people who have never experienced it. They all want to tell me to 'just be happy!', as if it were that easy.

If you want to take an active role in your treatment, you need to figure out what your triggers are, so you can find a positive alternative to falling into that blackhole. If that means you have to revamp parts of your life (diet was a big one for me...too much sugar equalled a hard come down when it wore off, leaving me lost and susceptible to depression), then do it. Sounds like you have a great dh who is willing to help you, so take advantage of that, too. (I didn't. My ex thought I was just tired all the time.) Also, if you're not already, I suggest seeing a therapist, too, because in all my friends who have experienced postpartum, there was a mental trigger about how THEY were raised (mainly a 'I hope I'm not my mother' or a 'I can never be as good a mother as my mom').

You're not losing your marbles; it's just taking you a little longer to get them all back in the same bag. Hang in there.

I had post partum depression for 8 months after my son was born before I realized what was wrong with me. I just felt like I was crazy, like I had no control, and worse of all, I felt no real connection to my son. I over heard another mom talking about her experience and realized I needed help. Luckily mine wasn't as bad as others and I was able to get help with vitamin supplements to help regulate my thyroid and hormones. I also saw a therapist a few times, which my insurance was willing to cover. The biggest help for me was having friends who had gone through the experience before me. I would suggest "Down Came the Rain" by Brooke Shields. It really comforted me to know that I was not the only one who had gone through those things (that horrified me and made me feel crazy) and that there was hope of getting through it. I'm glad to say that the bond between my some and I is very strong now, but I still regret and feel guilty that I missed so much of those feeling in the first year of his life. I'll probablly always feel a little guilty about it even though,as you mentioned, it wasn't my fault. I will just have to try and make it up to him, and I'll enjoy every minute of it!

A.,

It sounds like the medication you are taking for postpartum depression maybe isn't working well enough. You still sound depressed. I'd go back to your doctor and discuss maybe changing medications or looking at your dosing.

Postpartum depression is a physical illness just like any others. If you had diabetes would you feel guilty about treating it?

Yes, you should be able to enjoy your kids, your husband, your family. If you aren't, do what you need to do so you can. A depressed mommy isn't good for anyone - including you. Being a new mom is very, very stressful and you've got all those hormones and exhaustion and working full time. It is a lot for anyone to deal with. Being depressed on top of it is a huge load to have to carry. By all means, treat it. There is no reason to suffer.

I had postpartum anxiety after I had my first child. It was NOT a good experience. Don't let anyone kid you. Anxiety or depression isn't your imagination and there is absolutely no reason to not treat it. Do it for your sake, and for your kids.

:-)T.
mama to Cole 9-11-03
and Wyatt 10-14-06

I have post partum depression - well, I'm pretty sure I do. All of the research I've done points to it. But, I have no insurance so I haven't been diagnosed by a dr, so I do not have a little pill to help me balance my hormones. I think it's hard having a mental illness especially one caused by a hormone imbalance - you think it should just go away because you are aware of it. But, you can't "think" away the flu, it's no different. Be grateful that you have help and take it with the knowledge that it's a temporary fix for a temporary problem and it's better for you and your family.

Hi A.,
I have been taking an anti depressant since before I was even pregnant with my son who is now 2 and half years old. I took it all through my pregnancy and for the entire time I breastfed him and actually, I increased my dose after he was born. I do not suffer from depression but more anxiety issues. I am six months pregnant now and have decreased my dose to the dose I was taking before I had my son but will have no issue increasing it if necessary. I do not feel guilty in the least. As a mother, if I am not doing well, no one else in the house is either. Children feed off of their parents' energy, especially the mother's so you have no need to feel guilty at all. Luckily there is something out there that can make you feel better. People are so funny about taking anti depressants but think of it this way....if you had high blood pressure or diabetes, would you even hesitate to take the necessary meds you needed in order to be okay and take care of your family? It's all the same if you ask me. The only thing to feel guilty about is if you do not take care of yourself when you should. Being a mother can be overwhelming. Life, in general can be. So why not take whatever you need to take to help you? You have nothing to feel guilty about. Good luck.

Would you feel bad about yourself if you had developed diabetes and had to use insulin? I think not, and this is just the same. Remember A. Yates? Most people have little idea of how hormones can impact your life, just thank God we have the recognition and resources to be able to treat things like this. You won't be on them for long and you and your family will benefit. Be sure you get enough rest and take your vitamins! You will survive!

YES! You are completely off your rocker! :) The most important thing to know is what your feeling is very real and your being a wonderful mom for knowing and addressing it. I just had my second and went through the exact same thing, although I chose to go the homeopathic route. I've never tried or really "believed" in it before, but the herbal supplements and accupunture worked amazing for me.

Hang in there and know it'll pass because you are conscious and responsible enough to deal with how you feel. Remember it took 9 months for all those hormones to develop, its going to take awhile to adjust after the birth.

If you're really against continuing to take chemicals, I highly recommend Dr. Phau at Renassiance Medical Centre here in the Vegas Area. He's WONDERFUL. :)

good luck!

K.

PPD is hard to deal with and it is much worse in the winter. There is nothing wrong with you. I dealt with it after my son was born but didnt tell anyone. I felt very alone and confused because I had never had any kind of depression ever. I found getting out of the house at least once a day really helped. Even just going to the post office or grocery store. Even though you work still try to go out with friends and have date nights with your husband or even go have coffee by yourself once in awhile. Dont feel guilty, just know it will be better for you and your family in the long wrong. Take care, and I will be thinking aboout you.

I was depressed, the head-doctor thought I might need to be medicated. I read "Down Came the Rain" book, and decided that I wasn't that bad off. I waited until it passed and turned out just fine.
My (female) ob/gyn said this to me, "Adjusting to being a mom is hard. If you WEREN'T feeling a little down trying to adjust, then [she] would be worried."

I think it's normal, I was depressed for a while it was terrible while I was in it, hormones crashing, tiny struggling-demanding-I-have-to-give-everything-over-to-this-little-creature...
yeah, it was hard for me to adjust.
My mantra, THIS TO SHALL PASS.

A.,

With my first...I was the one to say ...I don't know what u r talking about!

Should have never said it!!!

2nd child I had it bad for 6 to 8 months. I never seeked medical attention. I dealt with it and kudos for hubby, he was so patient with me. However I have tried St. Johns wort and it has done wonders for me. Eventhough I don't suffer from PPD anymore, I take them because it helps immensely to keep me calm and relaxed, especially during PMS!
I get the freeze dried kind for less than $8 a bottle(each month)@ Wild Oats.

I actually had tried Prozac once for 2 weeks and couldn't sleep at all. There's just something about drugs. It might help for 1 thing but ultimately hurts another. I try to stick with NATURALS as much as possible!

I hope this helps.

Hi A.,

First off, you are NOT off your rocker!!! You are normal! Post partum depression is real and if left untreated can have horrible consequences. If you were diabetic, you wouldn't give taking insulin a second thought. The best gift you can give your children is a healthy mom...and sometimes that requires medication. I recommend you read Brooke Shield's book Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression.

I have to tell you i completely understand what you are going through. You think you should be supermom and not need any help. Especially when you also have a husband that is wonderful (mine too). I have 2 kids under 2. I felt a bit bluesy when my son was born, but powered through. In hindsight, i should have probably taken an antidepressant then. With my second (3 months old now) I finally talked to the doctor and they said it was perfectly normal. I talked to a few of my friends and found out that several of them were also taking antidepressants. That was what made me start to realize i wasn't alone and other strong women who i thought had everything under control also needed a little help from that pill. I think it's hard going from a woman who can juggle everything to a woman with kids and not being in control of your hormones. I also hate to take any medication unless really necessary. I found it frustrating and it made me feel weak. Knowing that you have peers out there feeling the same way is very helpful. It's just unfortunate that your friends aren't in the same boat YET. My mom also said that it was a good thing i was talking to my peers about it because she didn't have the knowledge or information to advise me with antidepressants. Eventually you (and i) might try getting off the antidepressant when your hormones readjust or life is more manageable. Until then, I have to say that it is much better taking that little pill and feeling that everything is more manageable than feeling the sadness without it.

I don't think you are off your rocker! I was on that same rocker after my son was born. First, let me commend you for a few things. You were so smart to talk to your doctor and get medication - good for you! I also think it was bold of you to addresss your issue in this forum. Many post-partum moms would be to embarassed even to do that. I hope you are getting many supportive responses and suggestions.
Your only job as a mom is to be the very best, most loving mom that you can be. If your body requires a medication in order for you to achieve that, then so be it. If you require counceling or therapy or a support group, or hired help then that's what you need to do. You must take great care of yourself in order to take care of your children. When you feel good, you will naturally develop a good report and eventually a strong bond with your baby. It may take time, but be assured that it will happen. Your girlfriends are right, this is normal and even fairly common.
And in parting I will leave you with my montra..."If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!"....

I anticipated that I'd have post pardum depression, cause I just know myself, so I started an anti-depressant at around 8 months prego, just to have it in my system. It's HARD to have a baby, breast feeding, not sleeping, first baby is scary, etc. You have no reason to feel guilty for needing it, it's soooo common! Don't listen to your girlfriends, they have no idea!! Of course you enjoy your precious baby, but that doesn't take away from how difficult it is, and how crazy our hormones are! I cried uncontrollably for a few days after my son was born! I know it easy to say "don't feel bad for it" but just know there are others out there just like you, GOOD LOVING mommies out there, just like you! You are completely normal!

-C.

A. there is nothing wrong with you having to take a pill to correct a hormonal imbalance in your body. Many of us have had to do it for awhile after giving birth. Just decide that you don't want to take it forever and talk with the doctor about a timeline. It is a huge strain on your body and your emotions to become a Mom. The responsibility is overwhelming at times. What you need to do is to turn to God. He knows your needs and he can help you with your fears and anxieties all you have to do is ask. Ask that His will be done and to help you get use to the new role in your life as well as to help you get back into good physical shape. Working full time, taking care of a home, raising children and recuperrating from childbirth..any one of those is tough but together..it can be overwhelming and depressing. Be intentional about what your husband can do to help you,so that you can work as a team. The kids, house etc. are both of your responsibilities, not just yours. A Mom works 24/7 and Dads should too if they are part a team. You can give each other a break so that you can both enjoy your children and your life together. Stop thinking you are crazy or are doing something wrong..look at what you are doing right and build from there. Being a Mom is the most wonderful experience in the world but it is not without its frustrations, disappointments and sadness. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend have some excellent books that could be very helpful, also Dr. Kevin Leaman. They are all Christians and have done a lot of wonderful things for many people such as yourself.
I have had to be on medication a couple times and have had chronic depression for periods of time in the years after having my children. I take no perscribed meds at this time and I have learned to read my body and know what to do so I don't have to take the meds anymore.So I've been there and done that, you can too.
God Bless You. I pray that this will give you hope and strength for the journey you are on with your family and that you will grow strong in body,mind and spirit. It is a wonderful time in your life that will reap a lot of benefits as you go through life.
Your sister in Christ.
NP

Part of dealing with depression is that our brains are telling us that we can "fix" it by ourselves. That's why we feel guilty taking a little pill. But really, you're taking control of the situation and by doing this you are enabling yourself to be a better mom, wife and to like yourself. You won't need an anti-depressent forever. Maybe for a few months, maybe a couple years. One thing that has always helped me accept my post-partum is something my OB/GYN's nurse said... "whatever it takes to get through this life". Life is going to throw us more than one hurdle, and this is only one of them. Enjoy your children, let those in the medical profession help you, and to talk to your husband about your feelings. Don't forget that God knows our hurts before we do. Think of how you want to take pain away from your babies, and imagine Him putting his arms around you. I'd have to agree with those comments by others, as hard as it seems to take the time, try to get out for a 15 minute walk, take a bath, just don't forget to take care of you. Hang in there, it'll get better.

A.-

The fact that you are contacting this group of moms is huge--I'm so happy you're reaching out to us. I think everyone at one point in time struggles with their new ones. If taking a pill for a little while is what it takes to keep your hormones balanced, don't feel guilty. You have enough going on! I went and heard a psychotherapist speak to new moms at the hospital. She had three recommendations: take your multi-vitamin (the pre-natal kind) every day. Your body is out of whack. It can take a year or two to come back to it's regular hormone levels. Your multi-vitamin is hugely important in helping your body keep you balanced. She also suggested we take fish oils (or flax seed if you're vegetarian), which have been proven to reduce post partum depression (I can get you more info on that if you'd like). She also suggested breathing techniques, which I've been trying to do, but usually ends up happening after the stress, not during it. Hang in there. Remember you're not alone (your girlfriends probably aren't admitting how hard it is sometimes.) And if you feel to overwhelmed, where you might hurt them or yourself, please call a friend or family member. We understand! Take care, try to eat right and get some exercise or time alone when you can & keep us posted. -J.

Ok I have not experienced it my self but I have heard a lot of women who have. Have you read the book down cam the rain by Brook Shields??? It is very interesting and will help you know there are other women out there with the same thing going on. I know that taking medication is not always the best thing for a person. If you want a natural way to deal with the situation I wold suggest to seek a Bio identical compounder. If you do not know what this is you can research it on the web md. They work with your hormones and use all natural creams and medications that will help get you back on track. My mother, father sees one and so do I and we love her. Her name is Sharzad Green and she works at Community Clinical Pharmacy. Here is their web site if you would like to look at it and cantact them. I think she can really help you.
http://www.community-clinical.com/

A., I know how you are feeling. My daughter is going on three months old and she was born premature and had to stay in the hospital for twelve days due to her digestive system and she was not eating for the first few days of her life. I got released the next day and it was so heartbreaking for me. She is my first child and I always imagined that when I was released she would be with me. We live about half an hour away from the town where she was born and I was staying with a friend of mine who lives close to the hospital and I would walk to the hospital every day. I would get there at eight in the morning and leave at eight at night. Sometimes I wouldn't eat during the day because I just didn't want to leave her. My husband unfortunately had to work and couldn't see us during the week only on weekends and when I did see him I would cry my eyes out and he couldn't do anything to help me except to listen. He was very supportive and that is what got me through it. The baby is doing good now and she his home. I soon will be working a full time job as well and my husband will be working as well and I have felt sad about leaving her and going back to work, but it's the best thing for all of us. Consider yourself lucky to have the support from your husband to stay home with your kids, I wish I could do that. As for the pills that you have to take, I feel for you because I too was on prozac for a while. I am no longer on it, I try to keep a positive attitude about things. I do break down every now and then, we live with his family in a three bedroom house. There are nine of us in this house and lots of opinions of how to raise our daughter but I just smile and say ok, because she is ours. Just keep your head up and talk to your doctor maybe you and him can come up with an alternative method that doesn't include taking the pills. Every thing will work out as long as you have the support of your family. To me that is what gets me through. Good luck

You are not off your rocker and don't go to girlfriends that don't have kids. They have not been through the complete loss of themselves, sleepless nights and giving unconditionaly. Don't worry, they will understand some time..if they are as blessed as we are.
It happens to so many women, some just don't talk about it. It will pass though. Try to take time for yourself everyday. Wether you excersize for 5 minutes or just tell your kids mommy is in a time out and lay down for 10 minutes.
You are brave for explaining what you are going through. All my friends are on something...me too.
A.
ps- 31 yrs old, married 11 years, 2 boys 11 and 6, and labor and postpartum doula

It is difficult and horrible to go through. I had it after my second one-my kids are 14 months apart and chose not to take anything and it is difficult.There are still days I feel horrible, but hopefully you have your husbands support. My husband did not understand and I really do not have anyone here that understood as far as friends with kids. As long as you know it is nothing you did and really cannot do about it besides medication. It is very difficult to go throgh-if you need someone to just talk to feel free to email me at ____@____.com. L.

You should not feel guilty one little bit, the guilt you feel is only a symptom of the depression.
I would recommend exercise, especially with women that understand what you're going through. Stroller Strides is a fitness program for moms with their babies. The instructors are trained to deal with pre and postnatal issues, and the support of being around other moms is a great comfort.
Don't worry, you will feel better soon. Take pride in the fact that you are dealing with this issue, instead of ignoring it.
To find a Stroller Strides location, just go to:
strollerstrides.com and enter your zipcode.
Best of Health

No, you're not off your rocker! And I applaud your wish to not take that morning fix-it pill. It is my opinion that many doctors are too willing to buy into the insta-fix (short on time, short on preventive measures, long on adverts/pharma-promos that support both of those areas) and pass this along to their patients. My personal experience has been that it took a relatively long time to develop the "situation" and it helps to realize that it may take a while to remedy. To cut to the chase: nutrition may be a major assist. We've been conned into believing that our food meets our nutritional needs, but this ignores the fact that the nutrients we get in our food have been largely degraded or negated by our agricultural practices. A multi-vitamin can be helpful, but is likely to be insufficient in that it is not targeted enough to individual needs. The closest thing to a mainstream (read: insurance pays) alternative assist in this arena would be an osteopath. I would also suggest that you avail yourself of the internet--in your spare time ha-ha--educate yourself on the role of different nutrients in re-establishing the balance your body needs.
Best wishes to you and your valiant efforts to combat your difficult situation.

A.--First, I want to offer you company, and I know there are many women out there who struggle post labor and beyond, despite the lack of dialogue about it. It is such a difficult place to be in and since so few people talk about it, you might also feel alienated, lonely, and convinced there is some attitude adjustment you can make. It isn't that easy. I know I struggled with all these feelings also and so please know, you are not alone. I can really only offer support from here, but don't get too frustrated trying to get someone to understand, because if they have been there, they will immediately understand, and if they haven't, they can't "get it." Thank heavens for them, they haven't been there. Finally, don't be any harder on yourself than you have to. You are exactly where you are right now, but you won't be there forever (even though it may feel like it somedays). This, too, shall pass. Know people are there with you and sending strength.

I have three kids, my first is my only daughter and all was great after I had her. Then five years later I had my first boy and along came depression, but I did not do anything about it because I WANTED this baby so I should feel wonderful. Will when he was only 4 months old I got pregnant with my third ( another boy) and did not hesitate to get meds when the same depression came on me once again. Please do not feel bad that you have to take those little pills, remeber that it is only for a short time and they really do help, I took them for about six months. I only wish that I had said something after boy #1 was born, because I enjoyed those early months with boy #2 so much more then with the first one: I was so strung out on thinking that I should not feel this way because I did all the fertility stuff to get boy #1 and hated everything about those early months that I missed out on the joy of having a new baby. If you need the pills take them and lose the anger about needing them and get on with enjoying that new blessing. It took over six months for me to really bond with my first son (who is such an amazing person ow at 3.5) and I had that bond with me last baby soon after I took those meds because I did not hesitate to get the help. Lighten up on yourself and just enjoy being a mommy!! God bless you and yours!

Hi A.,
Please try not to feel bad or guilty about taking pills to help your depression. I too had PPD after my first was born and it went undiagnosed. My hubby and I were so uninformed we thought I was just tired all the time and I was really good at putting on a happy face for the outside world. But my inside world was horrible. I never tried to hurt my daughter (thank God!) but I literally hated my husband and I would call him at work just to yell at him about nothing, I would lock him out of the house, I would lock his keys in his truck just to make him late to work or I would wake up early and turn the alarm clock off and other rediculously mean things, I am so surprised he didn't divorice me! I was a monster and I would have loved it if someone had told me I needed meds and gave me some and maybe I would have felt guilty like you do now but it would have been way way better than feeling and acting the way I did. I can honestly say that if I didn't take so many pictures of my baby I wouldn't remember much of her first 18mos of life cause I was so off balance that my memory of the good times is just gone and I honestly wonder how my marriage, husband and daughter even survived. Please don't feel bad for taking them, things could be much worse off for you so please keep taking your pills for your family's sake.

C. C.

Hi A.,

Have you tried Isagenix? It really seems to help with the depression on any level. I've been doing great with it. And now they have a chocolate you can take up to 4 times a day that are called Happy chocolates. They do the same thing for your brain chemestry as the pills, but are healthier without all the side effects. Plus it's chocolate....lol. It's really good too. Let me know if you want me to email some info to you. I don't know what I would do without this anymore, it's been such a great help with my patience, and stress levels. YAH for super chocolates! :)

Hope this helps,
M.

Hi A. -

Having your hormones tied up in a knot after having a baby is perfectly normal and depending on your body, taking pharmaceutical anti-depressants can sometimes make it worse. Many have been proven to even evoke thoughts of suicide in some people. Besides, if the depression is caused by the hormonal imbalance, the anti-depressants are doing nothing to restore a natural balance (which would relieve the depression). Natural phytoestrogens balance the hormones which relieves the depression. Phytoestrogens are available in capsule or tincture form from local herb stores and health food stores. Other options include Flower Essence formulas and/or aromatherapy blends.

Hope this helps.

M. M. Ernsberger
Certified Herbalist

No you are not of your rocker It happens to "EVERYONE"

A.,

I experienced the same thing in terms of feeling bad for feeling bad. It seems silly when yuo're in the middle of it - but looking back, I can totally justify it. I mean, you spend 9 months preparing for this birth, making your life all about what the name will be and what you're eating and preparing for how to get through the labor and then suddenly you have a baby who demands all yout time and energy. In my case, there were also many people around to give me conflicting information about how to care for the baby, my husband was convinced that he knew more than anyone and if I did anything differently than he thought it should be done it started an arguement. Even if you don't have the same thing going on - the fact is, post partum is an accepted condition that many women experience and more people are afflicted by it than admit it.
I didn't get medication at the time - but I should have, I know it would have made things much easier.
The biggest thing is - being depressed doesn't mean that you don't enjoy your children or that there is something wrong with you - it means you need some transition time - you and your hormones. After all, we may not think of it this way - but giving birth is a major event for our bodies. Nearly everything about us changes in some way.
A., I wish you and your new little one all the best. Women who aren't yet moms will never understand - but any of us you've been in your shoes know exactly what you are going through. One thing that helped me was to focus on the little wonders my child accomplished everyday and try to look at the world from his perspective. What a huge mysterious, adventure your baby is embarking on!

Dear A.,
The best thng that you can do for yourself and therefore your baby is to keep taking those anti-depressants and not feel in anyway guilty about it.

Wouldn't you take meds if your kidneys or heart or liver were not functioning to normal capacity?

I had to change the "tape" running in my head..."If only I was "normal", if only I could feel like other Mom's etc. The fact of the matter is that PPD only gets worse if not treated properly.

Pat yourself on the back for being wise and maybe some day you will be able to light the way for some of those freinds that one day may become mothers.

I had to start taking them after my second child was born but not until I suffered for many. many months of not knowing what was "wrong" with me...anxiety, sleepless nights despite the fact that my baby was sleeping thru the night, weight loss, etc.

I think Brooke Sheilds wrote a book about her journey thru PPD. I encourage you to keep talking. You will be o.k. and you are doing the right thing.

Hang in!

B. A.

Hugs honey! You aren't abnormal by any stretch. I commend you for noticing the signs and being proactive! YEAH FOR YOU! It is the women that won't face it that are putting themselves and their families at risk. It is normal to sometimes need something to balance your hormones until they are back to normal. I had to after my son when he was 3 mos old. I never felt guilt, I looked at it that it allowed me to be a better mom and knew it wasn't forever. When he was 1 1/2 I had my Dr wean me off of them. At this time I was going through a divorce on top of it all and I handled it all on my own even without meds. The cloud was lifted from the depression and I could be myself again thanks to those anti depressants. You should talk to your Dr about a game plan on how long you need to have them, talk to other women (ask your hospital if there is a suport group). There is no shame in being smart to step up and realize that hormones in women out of whack can cause so many issues. Think of women going through menapause?? Their moods are way out there and I am heading in that direction before too long, hee hee. There is nothing to be ashamed of!! Be proud and hold your head up high. Life will return to normal soon enough, promise. It takes almost a full year for your body to return to normal after childbirth...hang in there.

A. -

I felt like a total failure when I was prescribed Prozac with my first baby. I was embarrassed to take them and didn't want anyone to know. I tried my best to convince the doctor that I didn't need them, and I even took only half the dose that I was prescribed. It was a big mistake, because I needed to take it for longer and then ended up with other issues as well. I started on Zoloft with my second in my first week postpartum.

It's perfectly normal to not be excited about being a mom. You probably haven't slept a full night since your 8th month of pregnancy, you are overwhelmed with the responsibility of caring for a baby, and working full time only adds to that busy-ness.

So, my advice is to take your meds, keep in touch with your doctor, and get yourself better. Your body has just experienced a HUGE shift physically and hormonally. Give it what it needs to heal itself.

Abundant blessings,

L.
www.bestillandknit.com

You need to be the best mommy you can be ~ that's the bottom line. Don't kick yourself for needing help, get whatever it takes :) Because being mentally healthy is the most admirable, honorable, precious, and IMPORTANT choice that a mommy can make... Let God love on you, let your husband love on you, and let YOU love on you <3

Dear A.,

You don't feel guilty for taking an asprin for a head ache.
Post partum depression is a medical condition that throws your emotions out of whack. There is no reason to feel guilty. I suspect there is a feeling of being "weak" or that you feel that since the condition was brought on by giving birth, that it makes you less than the best mother. Neither is true. Please, get some professional help in understanding these feelings if the guilt persists. Remember that you are a person of great value and love yourself as much as others love you.

Good luck to you.

You are completely normal. I think most moms go through some type of depression. Some goes away on its own and others need to take that pill. Congrats on being proactive about it. You shouldnt worry about it. Dont forget the most important part of being mom, taking time for yourself. Go for a walk or run and clear your mind. Raising kids isnt as easy as everyone pretends. I am sure you are doing a great job and if the pill helps in that and you are willing to take it to be a better mom then more power to you! You are normal and at least able to admit that you have a problem, thats more than most moms. Thats HUGE!