My 3 in a half year old son has started taking to pooping on the floor in his room and having some accidents in his pants. He has been potty trained for a year now. He normally sleeps with a pull up, but takes it off now if he pees in it or has to poop and doesn't seem to tell us in time that he has to poop. This is something new. He also fights me on the subject when I gently suggest that he use the potty when he clearly has to go. By that time he has already started to go in his underwear. Any suggestions for or advice on what to do or why he might be doing this all the sudden?
I had similar issues with a 3 year old I nannied for. It was a control issue. After cleaning up messes for a couple of days, I made him clean them up (with my supervision). After two days - two messes that he cleaned himself - he stopped having "accidents".
Sometimes when children are stressed or feel pressured, they lose their hold on the muscles that help them 'hold it in.' I don't ASK my son to go, I TELL him. I watch for is cues and rely mainly on them. Most of the time, food is digested within 15-30 min of meal time. I would start putting him on a routine schedule and stay consistant. I didn't reward my son because I believed that he should know that you go, because it's something you do as you get older. You wouldn't expect him to believe that he will receive 'rewards' or 'treats' as an adult for using the restroom would you? That's just my personal opinion. I also made sure that, if my son went because he purely couldn't make it to the bathroom in time, I would HELP him clean the accident. This way it teaches him that in case of an accident, he can get the help needed. If he chose to #1/#2 in his pants or elsewhere in the home...and he KNEW that he wasn't supposed to, I would make him clean up his own mess. Sounds cruel, but effective. My son stopped going to the bathroom in his pants within the first two weeks. Miracle I tell ya. :D Hope this helps. :D
As a Mom and a childcare provider, I have seen this happen a lot at that age. It appears that the child becomes comfortable with the whole toilet learning scene and waits too long to get to the restroom in time. I mean, really, which is more fun, playing or stopping right in the middle of fun times and heading off to the toilet? I have had success with putting the children in charge of the clean-up. This might sound mean or unsanitary, but I do check to make sure they are clean enough. If it is honestly an issue of the child not wanting to be inconvenienced, this does tend to alter their thinking. I think it is also important for them to complete the transition of understanding that it is their job to take care of their elimination, not yours. I cannot tell you how many times a child has called me into the bathroom to take off their wet pants because they "don't want to get their hands wet and icky." I calmly (and kindly) tell them that I do not like it either, which is why I always make sure to head to the toilet in plenty of time to go. Of course, I make sure they are honestly able to accomplish the task on their own. I stay in with them and encourage them, step by step, in taking off their wet clothes. I show them how to wipe until the toilet paper "stays white." I think this is a critical teaching moment for both of you. How you handle this could speak volumes about how your relationship will be defined in the future. It is absolutely important for you to be there for your little ones, but it is also empowering for them to discover that they can do things on their own. What is temporarily frustrating can end up as a stepping stone to a confident, capable child. God bless you and yours, and I wish you all the best!
K.,
I had a similar problem with my son just this past February. He's 4 1/2. One night I talked with him about it, asking if there was anything at all that scared him about going potty in the toilet. Tentatively he nodded yes, thinking he might get in trouble. After a few more questions I discovered that there were monsters in our toilet that were trying to get him/his poop when he went potty. Using a suggestion from another mom at this site, I started letting him squat on the toilet so he was able to see below him, enabling him to tell those monsters to go away if they showed up. It worked like a charm, after we set that up for him he didn't poop his pants again.
Hope this helps,
Melissa
Even though this is extremely frustrating, it's totally normal. Most kids regress around a year after they are potty trained, especially when there is a younger sibling around. My best advice is to let him start cleaning up his own messes. Of course you'll want to show him how and you might have to double check his work, but having him take responsibility for his actions like this works wonders. Keep doing things calmly and in a while he'll get it. This worked wonders for all three of my children. I hope it works for yours as well.
Hi K., Re your 3 1/2 yr. old pooper. If there are no medical reasons for his regressive behavior, then I'm guessing, he's doing this for attention. His little sis wears diapers, why can't he ?? I'd put him back in diapers without comment and wait awhile. Then when you do start again, praise him for being a big guy. Also when he goes to the bathroom, stay with him. Try to get the no. two thing regulated...like taking a potty break before the time you know he usually goes. Above all, DON'T MAKE A BIG DEAL OF IT. He's got you going. You can get him going if you just relax. Good luck. N.
My 33 month old will occasionally do that as well (he's been trained for 6 months). If we think he really had an accident (diarrhea) then fine, we don't make an issue of it. But he seems to do it sometimes just for the heck of it, and will keep doing it until we make it very unpleasant, like a cold bath to clean him up. He knows better and is just testing us as far as I can tell, because he's gone months without a hint of an accident, then will start pooping his pants daily for a few days until we nip it again.
Hey K.! My daughter did this too at age 4. She was fully potty trained and then just started going backwards! My doctor said, we just needed to start training her again, and that it would come back to her quickly, and it did. It was a real pain, and very frustrating, but only really lasted about 2 months. But instead of getting mad at him, just talk with him and start making him go to the bathroom regularly whether he has to or not. Hopefully this will get him back in th habit! Hang in there!
Hi there,
It is not the poop it-self, it is your son reaching another stage. We didn't have this problem, because I had already educated my self on the subject. He looks at his poop as his own "production", like something he worked hard to produce but it is not appreciated from anybody else. Yes, if he works h*** o* a picture, you will hang the picture somewhere, so everybody can look at it and enjoy it. And what you are doing with his poop? You flush it in the toilet. For him this is a waste of his hard work, so he keeps it at least for a while (before you find the mess and get upset), so he can enjoyed and posses it. This is what is going in his mind and to solve the problem you need to find a way to prize and appreciate his "hard work". Getting upset over it will enforce him to sneak and hide his "hard work" even better. Try a little "bye-bye, poop" ritual or something like that. Good luck!
I have five kids and three of the five have struggled with potty training in one form or the other. I found a great product called the WeeMinder that comes with a great video, book and musical reminder that completely stopped any power struggles we were having and it just made the whole process so much easier and more fun. I tell everyone I know about it and bought a bunch to give out as gifts! Super cute and changed our lives. The website is www.weeminder.com and sells for $19.95! That is my best advice for you! :))))
