Please Help, 10 Month Old Wont Sleep

One of my daughters was also a very needy baby at night. The way we worked through it was to start at whatever worked for us and her to get her back to sleep as soon as possible... (whatever it was, nursing, rocking, singing, rubbing her back, etc) Then overtime we tried to stretch her comfort zone by slowly weaning her off those things she needed to get back to sleep... She didn't sleep 10-12 hrs without interruption till closer to 15 months but she did start to wake up less and less and less and then get back to sleep quicker and quicker. Which, for us was workable... It wasn't always smooth and sometimes teething or illness meant a few rough nights, but I think her maturing had more to do with her finally sleeping on her own than any specific method... Good luck!

Oh, I feel your pain. You are describing my oldest. First, I don't think there is anything wrong with co-sleeping, especially when they are so young. It's not always comfortable but they do eventually grow out of it in few years. I think co-sleeping does build a special bond. I had to stop when I became pregnant with my 2nd one. By then, he was moving around quite a bit and I didn't want to risk an unfortunate kick.

If you want to teach them to sleep independently, then you REALLY have to stick to your guns. It's very distressing for all of you. It took just over a week with mine around the same age. I would follow the recommendation that someone made here and start on a weekend...preferably a long weekend.

They can sense your apprehension and will respond accordingly. So, you have to relax first. Put them down awake...never asleep. My son always fell asleep during the feeding so I had to wake him up, crazy. Soothe him, then walk out. Then, brace yourself for the routine and DO NOT waver. Some kids are more stubborn than others. The crying doesn't hurt them but it's so heartbreaking.

Good luck!

my son is 17months old and were still having problems getting him to stay asleep. he goes to bed every night at 8pm and by 2am hes up for the day. he refuses a nap during the day, so i dont see the real problem. and its not like hes teething anymore (we had it checked). so i dont really know how to help you.. but we did try "Calming pills", a vitamin and ccamomille filled tablet that 2+months can take. it dissolves on their tounge. and it calms them down so that they can sleep... it worked for my son for a few weeks.. then he slept every night for a month... now were back to the original again

We practiced what used to be called the "family bed" back in the olden days 25-30 years ago; we did it basically for survival. We had three kids in five years and even once the new baby started sleeping better, then the toddler started waking up or the kindergartner started having bad dreams......once parenthood hits, sleeping through the night is not a right. And then they get older and are driving and getting home late and you aren't sleeping because of that!
What helped us was to have both my husband and myself on the same page. We did not practice the cry it out method. We also did not complain to others that our kid(s) did not sleep well. We kept it to ourselves, knowing that we were the experts with our kids.
So yes, we brought them to bed. There were no fancy co-sleeping beds so we had a crib mattress on top of egg crates between the wall and the bed; and for our older child, he was glad to just hold my hand and sleep on a sleeping bag next to the bed.
One thing we did was that everyone (including parents) started out in their own beds. Everyone got a few hours of sleep and as parents we got a couple of "alone couple hours";)
To practice this, we had to adjust our attitudes and expectations of our newborn and children. But that was the course of fare in our parenting life - adjusting our expectations to meet those of where our children were at. We were the adults and we were to bend and flex when the children couldn't. I couldn't have done it without the faithful support of my husband.
Good luck.

I would pick him up & see what's ailing him:
-teething? Then use baby orajel on his gums & Infant Tylenol for extreme
pain
-hungry? Then feed him.
-wet diaper? Chagne him.

My son cried for all of these reasons.

I don't agree w/the Ferber method because it only attempts to teach
sleeping but does not address any one of many issues a baby could be
having (hunger, teething, wet diaper, having a cold, being cold etc).

My son was hungry every 3 hrs. He burned through his food where my SD & all of my friends w/girls, slept through the night earlier.
And yes, I think his bedtime might be too early on top of it all. It's a lot to ask for his belly not to have food for that long.

Seems like infant boys burn through their food faster than girls as they can be very active (moving around on the floor on their blanket, crawling more & longer distances, gettiing into things rather than sitting & playing w/toys at their feet etc.)

As I said, I would pick him up, change him in quiet dark room, feed him, burp him, cuddle for awhile in a darkened room then once he's fallen back to sleep gently lay him back in his crib (lean over into the crib as it is a long way down & the sensation of falling can waken them).

Hang in there for a while longer, this stage won't last forever & you'll find yourself through it soon while giving your baby the comfort he needs.

Is there anything medical going on? My 2nd child had bad reflux and he was a terrible sleeper starting at 2 months when the reflux kicked in full force. Meds, tilting the crib, sleeping on his side instead of his back, nothing helped. Then, one day he outgrew the reflux and he started sleeping through the night, just like that.

The good news in this case is that it doesn't last forever and you are not doing anything wrong. The bad news was that there was absolutely nothing my husband or I could do to "make" him sleep through the night. We simply had to wait until he outgrew the reflux. Don't get me wrong - I didn't want to accept that, and I tried EVERYTHING. But, nothing worked until the reflux was gone.

If you think it could be something like this, then do what you need to in order to get through each day until he outgrows it. Take turns with your husband each night with one of you in the room with the baby monitor, and the other in a different room to get a full night of sleep, so you (or he) gets to sleep through the night every other day. Hire a babysitter for 3 hours in the afternoon on a Saturday so you can nap. Whatever you need to do to get some sleep, do it.

I just want to say that it is not at all wrong to take your child to your bed to sleep. Yes it is uncomfortable for some, but for many other families, co-sleeping works great. And don't believe that if you co-sleep once the baby will be dependent on it forever. It's not true. If babies became totally set in their ways so easily, your baby would be sleeping through the night by now, right? Co-sleeping is a great solution for an overtired family. For some reason your son needs to be with you at night right now and that is OK. You can try again to train him to sleep in his own bed or room at a later point when he has developed past whatever is getting in the way right now or gotten over whatever fear is waking him. Keep up the good work!

If there is nothing physically wrong with him...earache, teething, hunger...stick it out more than 2 hours, he has you played, sorry.

When you decide to be serious start on a Friday night if you're off weekends, sometimes it only takes 3 nights and Sunday might be the last, IF you're consistent. Take turns so you can get get the rest you need, just one of you go in, set the schedule ahead of time. He has to learn to self-soothe, you can't do it for him. Go in, leave the lights off, don't pick him up, lay him down, pat him a bit, say "Good night, I love you" in a hushed, matter-of-fact manner, and leave. If he cries and fusses wait the 5,10,15, etc., minutes before going in. Repeat with no lights on, even if he needs a diaper change do it in the dark (a nightlight you leave on helps.) No interaction, you're teaching him nighttime and his crib are for sleeping, so no rocking or eye contact. He gets angry he gets angry, you don't flinch or acknowledge it.

Take back control, do it as long as it takes until he realizes he's not getting up, longer than 2 hours at this point because he knows you'll give in then. (That's why the first night of a weekend is good to start on.) If he stands, he stands, you don't go running back in. He's old enough to find his own pacifier as well. You stick to the plan, and don't give extra naps during the day to help him get his sleep. You do it as many nights as it takes and he will learn.

To those who think this is mean, 1) advice was asked for, and 2) I learned this all from my dear, wise Mom, who passed away Nov 10th. She bore and raised 11 children, and had a hand in raising her 3 grandchildren and 5 of her great-grandchildren. Her way worked and none if us is any the worse for her methods.

And you didn't commit the cardinal sin by taking him in your room, if you plan to continue, you can place his crib there. Otherwise, no parent's bed until wake-up time in the morning...if you want him to know you're serious. Parenting is hard sometimes :)