Playdate Rules

Updated on January 14, 2011
M.S. asks from Lincolnshire, IL
19 answers

I am pretty strict about snacks and milk/juice with my kids. They drink 3 glasses of milk plus one glass of juice. Both of my girls have weight issues and this is an easy thing to do to cut down on calories. One of my daughter's friends that often comes over after school asks every time if she can have juice. Every time I tell her that my kids are not allowed to have juice. She complains every time. Today she agreed to have milk and then got upset when I would not let her have a second glass. Am I being mean or should I bend the rules when we have friends over.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think I would be inclined to give any child (mine or another) as much milk as they wanted. It's not poison, it's m-i-l-k. I also think Jen C. makes an excellent point.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Chicago on

I have no idea how old this child is and do agree that for her to complain is rude, however, I would never tell a guest in my house that they can only have one glass of something and then have to switch to something else unless we ran out.
Also, 3 glasses of milk is a lot. I have preschoolers but my dr. says to limit the amount of milk to 6-8oz I think.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I think the fastest way to create food issues in kids is to make food/calories an issue.

5 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

what about water? that's not much fluid in one day. can you let your girls have their juice when their friend comes over? how about cutting the juice with water and letting everyone have 2?
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would have most definitely gave the guest child another glass of milk and if my kid complained I would explain that her friend was our guest so therefore got another helping. (I would actually give her the juice if it were me though.)
My kids go weeks without juice btw...it is not necessary for kids to drink it and if your daughters have weight issues this would be a great 100 or so calories to cut out each day. Give them a real orange or apple instead.

2 moms found this helpful

H.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

your house, your rules. Give her a nice but needed lesson on manners.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

When my kids friends are over.... I let it slide. Other than that, my kids eat healthy...and our house has healthy foods.
Its a playdate... so I let my kids have fun and eat treats. But the other Moms, are just like me. Healthy eating and not too much junk.
OR they ask first, IF they can bring certain things/treats over for the kids.

How old is your daughter?
Once a child enters school.... you cannot always control, what your child eats or what foods they are exposed to....

Or for you... just water down the juice. I ALWAYS water down our juice for the kids... with 50% water. But I don't always buy juice anyway.

OR offer flavored water.
OR, combine club soda water.... with juice... to fizz it up and dilute it at the same time....

all the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

No. Don't bend the rules. Just because the "child" is upset, doesn't mean you should cater to them! I would let the kids know that at your house, you offer milk or water with snack. Its their choice if they want snack or not, but you will NOT be offering juice! I would tell her M. that she is acting that way about the juice thing-- sounds like they need to talk about manners and being grateful. You are not mean! You are being a responsible parent~

Take care,
M

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter's doctors call juice sugar water and told me there is no reason to give them juice. If my daughter's friends want juice I simply tell them I don't have any which is the truth. My girls only get juice when they are sick and need the calories because they are not eating etc. Or if I freshly squeeze the fruit myself.
Re: the milk... Personally, I would have given the second glass of milk when the child asked but as I tell my girls, "you get what you get and you like what you get" so if my daughter told me she was refused the second glass of milk I would respect that mother's rules.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

I might let it slide on a playdate, but I am totally with "your house, your rules". You are mean, but there's nothing wrong with being a little mean. If nothing else but to teach children manners. That child's mother might be completely mortified that she is having a tantrum about it!

You can go back to the choice method that is so effective with toddlers...you can have milk or water.

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

I tend to bend rules within reason when we have guests. If you allow your children one glass of juice per day, why not save it for after school, and let them enjoy it with their friend. If you find they are asking for second glasses of juice, dilute it down to 50/50 juice/water. You can buy very low calorie flavored water if you are concerned about calories.

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

I agree with you on this especially since she is a frequent guest so you would end up making exceptions more often than you'd like and thus mess up the consistency of your routine. You could mix it up by letting them have their juice once in a while when their friend is over. I would just let her have a second glass of milk when she asks though.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I would let her have more milk but just say you don't have any juuice.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If they have weight issues I would stop keeping juice in the house at all. And that solves the neighbor girl problem too. I would give her a second glass of milk if she asked. And while doing it I would model asking nicely - why Mrs Lovingbeingamom, may I have another glass of milk. Thank you so much. You're very welcome. Depending on her age, she can learn or get the sarcasm.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

first of all they dont need juice but the milk is important. i would give them water instead of the juice and fresh fruit and veggies. especially if there is weight issues. juice can put on the weight.
no i think you handled it the right way. they are your rules. she must obey the rules in your house. if she doesnt like it she doesnt have to come over. i guess the friend doesnt hear the word no that often.
also we drink organic milk and its very expensive. i never share the milk with my kids friends..they will be fine with a drink of water. i need the milk for the week for my kids.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

Honestly, I think that it's just plain rude for her to complain about _anything_ that you are serving or not serving at your house. I would be horrified if my kids did that. Perhaps you can gently mention it to mom that you don't keep juice in your house (or whatever) and that her daughter asks repeatedly for it when she comes over. That would be a clue to me to give my daughter a good talking to about manners at a friend's house.

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M.A.

answers from Orlando on

I would stick with your own rules, especially if she comes over all the time. After one glass of milk if she is still thirsty then give her water. Milk does not quench your thirst...

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

I would give her water or Crystal Light for her second glass. I think one glass of milk is enough. It is expensive. Especially when she comes over "often" that can really add up quickly. I think it would be fine to say, "sorry, no more milk today, we have to make it last, but you can have water or _______ (something else you feel is appropriate)"

S.L.

answers from New York on

I see no reason to give a child what you already said no to just cuz she whines or complains. they are kids and will ask for junk, my kid would be asking you for candy and lots of cookies but I would hope you would say No. Soon they will be asking to watch violent movies, or go out with strange boys practice saying no even when they get upset with you and think you are mean:)

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