Planning a Birthday Party

Hi K.,

My son that passed away did a co op with special needs children. in Canada we celebrate the 5th birthday as the STAR birthday.. all the kids get to decorate a star that with glitter or stickers and you can either tape a safety pin to them and they can wear it or tape a small wooden dowl to them and then make the cake in a shape of a star. or cupcakes, they have these tinfoil star shaped cupcake tins here. if you want me to pick you up some let me know i can mail them to you. they a 1.00 a package of 24 cups. you can make rice crispie squares or cake or jello or pudding with oreo crumbs and gummy worms coming out of them. You can go to oriental trading an get hats or beach bags or coin purses and decorate them. the latest catalog has a ton of fun stuff in it. its called sensational crafts orientaltrading.com and invite kids, all kids love parties.... have fun most of all, don't worry. my son treated special needs children like any other child and that is how they want to be treated. he was so good with autistic children. he was an amazing son...and now god has him....and i am sure he teaching and enjoys all the children that were taken away that we all miss... J.

1 mom found this helpful

We usually stick with family and close friends for our kids birthday parties.

B.

You can have just family, but decorate the house with balloons and streamers, make or buy a cool cake and maybe play some kid games even if it is just the two of them...just make him feel special and he will love it!!

K.-
I think that it would be a great idea to invite the kids from his school. He is at that age to start having kid parties and he would probably really like it. I would suggest a Batman party or something that he is interested in. I wish you the best of luck with what you guys decide to do.

C.

Hi K.
I know what your going through, my son has CP & he is now 7 years old and we haven't had a birthday party for him either. He has gone to some and the kids included him but he really hung out with us not the kids from his class. I think just doing the family birthday party would be fine thats what we have done with our son and that was enough.

D.

Absolutely! I think a family party would be great for him. IMO, I think inviting kids he's not close to would be awkward for all involved. If his family members are his closest/only friends, really whoop it up and make it a big celebration all about him. He'll make friends when he's ready.

I would throw a "party" and invite friends from school. It doesn't have to be labeled as a birthday party or you can just indicate in the invitation that no gifts are needed. We have friends in a similar situation with their daughter (however she has a severe disability - I can't even remember what it is called). They have a party for her every year and invite us and other friends, saying that gifts are not needed (we always get her one anyway). It is just a great way for her to celebrate even if she doesn't know that it is all about her. If your son gets excited about things like this, let him be excited. Either way - family or friends party - he is going to LOVE it!

I agree that you should include his classmates, even though he doesn't gravitate toward any one in particular. These are the children he is familiar with. Why not try something outside the home (like McDonald's playland) so that you can concentrate on your son and making sure he has a good time. I taught special education for years and found that my students were more comfortable with what was familiar.

They say that having down's children around other children his age is good for him and for the other children. Not only does it help your child but it helps the other children learn compassion and understanding about disabilities. I would say to give him a party. Even if it's a Mcdonalds party kids of all ages like it as well as some adults.

Hi K.,
Everybody celebrates their childrens birthdays differently, some have big bashes and others have low key family parties, which ever way you go it can be a very special day for your son. Try a theme party!
A Zoo Safari - If you live near a zoo, most have party packages you can buy. After you tour the zoo, go to the party room to enjoy cake/food, and sometimes the zoo will bring in a special animal for a close encounter.

King for a day - Instead of a 2 hr party, treat him extra special all (your daughter will like this too) Get prince/king costume or crown and cape, get a princess costume for your daughter too, make a thrown for him to sit when eating, play games throughout the day and fix his favorite foods.

Hope these ideas help!
Megan

I bet you and your family have gone to birthday parties and brought presents to kids "just because" even though your son doesn't really have a relationship with them. I think throw a fun party and invite those kids you don't see on regular basis. you probably went to their parties. Your son might not have relationships with them, but if he likes the atmosphere etc. I bet those kids and parents will feel really happy afterwards regardless. Everyone likes to spend time with someone who is happy!

Start with just family. Before long you will be spending more on the parties and having more friends over. Close friends or yours even and your family is plenty!

Stick with what he likes, K.. When my son was 5 we made of day of it. We took (just our family) on the Light Rail... just to ride it. We also spent the afternoon at Minnehaha Falls (which is on that line) or you could do rides at the Mall of America (also on the line) if your son would enjoy that. Another idea would be Como Zoo or the Children's Museum. Good luck!! T.

K.,

I have a seven year old with Aspergers Syndrome (a high-functioning Autism) and he has some problems with social skills. He gets along with all his classmates and they all love him (they go out of their way to say hi when they see him outside of school and sometimes he barely acknowledges them - unless they are one of his favorites!) We recently moved from Japan (children with Aspergers do not like change) we threw a huge going away party and invited all of his classmates, they all talked about it every day and when the day arrived we were happy to see how many came to say good-bye. There may be lots of children who adore your son and would love to help celebrate the day the world was blessed with his life - let these parents and children decide and if only a few show up your son will not even notice he will just remember that even some of his friends from school came to his party.

Finally, we are throwing our son's Golden birthday (he turns 7 on Aug. 7 = Golden) at the Reptile Gardens, if his cousins are not able to come and since we know no one else here yet we will still have a blast because it is the Reptile Gardens. Plus, once you pay for admission once and you live in the area they will offer you a FREE season pass!

If you need to talk or would like to get our kids together just give me a call ###-###-#### or ###-###-####

I think you should invite family and good friends of yours (the whole family) to come. I'm sure they would love to come! And all the kids will have a good time, even if they're not the best of friends with your son. The main thing is to surround him with people who love him. I hope you all have a wonderful time!

i think having a party with the family there would be fine. you can still do fun things with just the family and ask him if there is someone special he would like to be there. if there is then in the invite you can put gifts aren't nessasary.

Hi!
I threw family parties for my kids until they were 7 & 9 and started begging for 'friend' parties. I, too, feel funny about asking for gifts, especially in light of the current economy. So this year, I specified 'No gifts, please. However, if you would like to bring a non-perishable food item for the local food shelf, we will gladly accept it.' This worked really well because my son was able to invite kids he really liked but maybe doesn't necessarily play with on a regular basis as well as kids whose families might be having financial difficulties. Some people brought 1 canned item and others brought a bagful. My son delivered the food to the food shelf and got a tour.(He was also recognized in the local paper and cable TV station, although this was a surprise development and not part of the original plan!) I look upon birthdays as a time to celebrate with family & friends (we threw him a nice party for 8 friends and gave him a bike and a set of golf clubs) and not an opportunity to hit people up for gifts, although I personally don't mind buying gifts for other kids. Personally, I'd keep numbers on any party related to the child's age (e.g. 4 guests plus the birthday child for a 5-year-old max). Good luck!

It's Joseph's day... do what makes him happy. If that's just family- great, go with it!

Does he not gravitate towards any particular kids because he doesn't like ANY of them, or because he likes ALL of them?

If it's that he doesn't care for or about any of the kids then I think a family-only birthday party is just fine- make it special with all the regular party stuff, same as you would for a bunch of kids: cake, balloons, party favors, fancy paper plates with his favorite character etc on them, games.

If it's that he doesn't single out any specific kids because he is comfortable with everyone, then a kid party would probably be just as fun for him. In that case, ask a few kids from his class. You could tell the teacher you are planning to invite a few kids from the class, but don't know which ones to invite, and ask for suggestions. Or you could ask your son which kids he would most like to invite. (Just remember to send the invites through the mail or hand deliver- not have him hand them out in class if everyone is not invited...)

A family party is alway fun. We did one for Olivia's 4th b-day at Chuck E Cheese. Everyone had a great time & since we did it on a weeknight, we got a discount.

He might not have any best buddies at school, but the class might have fun getting together for a party. The Pump it Up place is a lot of fun for kids. We've been to a couple of parties there & even the adults played on the bouncers.

What does your son want to do on his special day?

I think if he would get excited and love it, THEN INVITE THEM! Really if the parents don't want to participate they won't. Think of your baby boy and not what other parents think! I hope he has a GREAT BIRTHDAY!! I work with 3 brain injured adults and one with Downs and know how much the little stuff counts even if others don't understand.

When my daughter turned 5 we wanted to have a couple of her friends over from church but hardly got together with them and felt a bit bad inviting them over just because of her birthday. So we decided to invite the whole family and just call it a get-together and specifically put on the invitations "no gifts".

How about inviting everyone from his class to one of those indoor playgrounds like the Blast in Eagan? That way, he doesn't have to interact with just one person and he'll have all his friends in one location and you'll be surrounded by other families? Have fun!

I think a family party would be great. Make a special day and do things that he really enjoys.

Go for inviting the class. The party will be full of kids that he knows and seeing them in a different place may produce different results(??). Your son is probably pretty social so having his classmates around could be fun for him - and you, to see his classmates interact with him as well.
Have Fun!!