Hi Mamas,
Does it bother you when someone talks about plans with you and then the plans never come to fruition? And how do you move on when it falls through - especially if you were excited about the plan?
I have multiple instances where a person says they have contract work and we even fill out paperwork and then I never hear back from them.
And I recently had someone approach me about a job in their organization. This was all their idea and they came to me about this position. They had obviously been thinking about this for a long time because they had all the details worked out for how I could work in their dept. - how many hours I would work, the exact job I would be doing, etc. Someone else in the same organization had offered me a job the week before, which I couldn't take for schedule conflicts and this person even said, jokingly 'well I wouldn't have approved you getting the job in that department because I need you and your advanced skills in my department.'
When I was approached by this person, I showed great interest. Although I wasn't sure about the job yet because I had some things to take care of. But I have wanted to work with this organization for a long time so I was excited about this possibility and showed definite interest when I was approached.
After that one and only conversation about the job, the person has never spoken another word about it to me even though I see them and we talk on a regular basis. I have thought about asking about the job, but our conversation was confidential and this person doesn't really like to be questioned. So I haven't asked or approached this person about the job. Since this was over 2 months ago, I assume this person just mentioned the position on a whim but doesn't really have plans of bringing me into their organization.
I was really looking forward to this job, so now I'm feeling deflated about it and I know I need to readjust my thinking and realize this job isn't going to happen. And I need to move on, but I'm having a difficult time readjusting my thinking.
And I wonder why this person even approached me about this job in the first place?
Also, if the job has fallen through, would the person mention that to me - just to say 'you know the job we discussed, well plans have changed.......'
Does everyone else experience the same thing - plans are mentioned to you and then the person doesn't carry out the mentioned plan?
Any advice on how you move on when things just don't pan out?
Thanks for listening.
Sort of. And I kept hounding the person until I actually signed the employment papers. Even if the person doesn't like to be questioned, I'd question them big time and find out what the deal is. Doesn't sound like this person is a true friend so what have you got to lose, other than ever talking to this person on a regular basis again. Doesn't seem like much of a lose to me. Good luck.
People do this all the time. I have learned to not get excited or attached to an idea until I see the actual pay out so to speak. It is difficult to detach from things you really want to be excited about but sometimes it is best. And really what could it hurt if you ask about the position ... saying somthing like, I am excited about the position we discussed a few months ago, I am sure it is something that needs approval, I was just wondering if you had a time line or if it has been declined.
This is really odd. What kind of contract owrk? Is it easy to find others to do the same kind of work or is it really specific?
If this is a business situation just ask whatever happened with that contrct work? It could be that the person really thought they could hire you and then found out form their boss that they don't have the budget for it - and the person who offered you the job is embaressed. Or maybe they lost a big customer aroudn the same time and can no longer hire you. Ask - it's not big deal - it's not as if you're hounding the person.
Consider also that they may have been dangling this position in front of you to be able to get some free advice and now that you've provided it they no longer need you. I've seen that happen before too.
Stuff happens in work environments that are out of our control - so it's perfectly normal and expected for you to ask abou the situation. You could even use the excuse that you've been approached with another job situation and you're not sure of the status of this one.
Don't be shy!
This is the second time you've posted about this. The advice this time is the same as last time. Ask the person about the job. If you don't pursue it further, you have only yourself to blame for this missed opportunity. And if an opportunity arises that you're interested in, and you decline due to "schedule conflicts", that indicates that you didn't really want the job. Taking a job is not a priority if something else in your schedule is more important. So, it might be a good idea to evaluate your priorities before blaming other people for your situation.
I think they are just trying to do their own job,,, so planning for yours is just falling by the wayside... it may not be a budget problem.
You have nothing to lose by following up.
In fact, I don't really know anyone who was approached about a job without putting lots of follow-up into it!!!!!
Yes , you need to make it as easy as possible for the decision-makers about a job offer....
You received nothing in writing guaranteeing you work so therefore you have counted your chickens before they have hatched.
Even if this person "doesn't really like to be questioned", I would be woman enough to keep it light and ask, "By the way what ever happened to that opportunity you mentioned to me x time ago?"
I often have a hard time of letting things like this go but have learned and am still learned the art of letting it go. It doesn't really matter why the plans may have changed or that they haven't spoken with you. As long as you keep looking behind you at what happened you can't transition to looking in front of you for what is going to happen or be open to new opportunities or create new opportunities for yourself.
For the sake of your own "ME, Inc." please ask and keep it light and then move on. No other person should be able to have so much weight in your future plans for you and your family's well being. I hope this helps.
Sometimes its something out of their control. Such as perhaps it was presented to management and management decided "Well no we aren't going to do this" or perhaps they haven't made a decision yet. Sometimes companies will say "Hey this is a great idea" and they jump the gun so to say. Maybe they didn't win the contract, or perhaps because of budgeting they can't hire anyone right now, the list could go on here. It would be "nice" for this person to communicate to you what is going on and where it is in the process.....but they themselves may not have heard anything either and have questioned numerous times without a response from the uppers that be.
However, regardless if the person dislikes to be questioned or not this is a job and you are siding with your emotions.....this is no different from if you were buying a house and negotiating a price or whatever. You NEVER buy a house based on emotions. You can't involve your emotions at this point. There are certain ways to approach it and ways you don't. How about dropping them an e-mail and saying I didn't want to say anything given the confidential manner however I have several opportunities to explore and just wanted to know if I should hold out because I am still interrested in what was discussed previously-would you be able to provide me with a status??. They can't get mad at you for wanting to move forward with other business ventures-if they do then you wouldn't want to work for that kind company/person anyways.
I was thinking along the lines of Ivy B. answer. I remember your other post too. Jobs rarely fall into anyones lap. You have to fight for them. Or at least inquire. They need to know you want the position. Maybe this person still thinks you have a scheduling conflict so hasn't mentioned it. Follow up and show that you are ready and interested still. Good luck.
