How to Say No to a Sales Pitch from a Friend.

Updated on September 18, 2012
R.C. asks from Laguna Niguel, CA
33 answers

In the last month my husband and I have been approached by two different friends with sales pitches. One is someone we do business with and they are encouraging us to sell Arbonne. When she first mentioned Arbonne to me I immediately told her that I tried using the products before and I wasn't interested in using them for myself. She later approached both my husband and myself about selling it. My husband agreed to hear her "pitch" but honestly he was just buying time to think of a way to tell her no.

Last weekend we ran into an old friend and they started telling us about this new company that we had to get in on. It's not selling products but some kind of website equal to groupon.

I usually tell people that I am just to busy to take on anything new but that doesn't seem to be working. How do I say no without coming off as a bad friend?

What can I do next?

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Oohhhh... I had a Mary Kay stalker for a while. I just said.. "Sorry it is not for me but best of luck to you!"

5 moms found this helpful
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S.N.

answers from Chicago on

With my friends, I'd be able to say "no I don't want to do that" and move on. you're not a bad friend for being honest and to the point.

2 moms found this helpful
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B.F.

answers from Dallas on

You could say "I am too busy..." when they come back at you again, say, "I am so sad that you will not respect my answer, it has not changed." Tell them they don't want to be "those" people.
There is always "No." It is a complete sentence!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

"I'm so happy you found something that you're so excited and passionate about, and I'm honored you thought to share it with me. I have to honest with you that I'm not interested, though."

If there's more pressure, a simple, "No, thank you. I haven't changed my mind."

6 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

No, just no. A good friend wouldn't pressure you and wouldn't turn on you because you said no. The only one who can potentially be a bad friend are the friends approaching you.

6 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

"No thanks." If they are good friends they wont push you about it.
L.

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Be truthful. Just say "No, we are not interested." if she pursues? Tell her again - NO. We are NOT interested. We had a friend that did with was Amway/Quixtar...EVERY TIME we were together they were "pitching" the company and the products...finally - after a year of saying "NO thank you"

we finally said this: "Becky. We cherish your friendship. We know how excited you are about Quixtar. It is NOT for us. Please do NOT ask us again to partake in your company again. " She said - "it's great for you!! We're excited." our reply - "We know and understand your excitement. We are NOT interested. We are to the point where we will start avoiding time with you because we want to spend time WITH YOU, not hearing about Quixstar." They were both upset, however, we pointed out that it's the ONLY thing they talk about - not the kids, not work, not the upcoming move, etc. it was ONLY Quixtar.....they have now moved to Michigan...and have only kept contact via Christmas cards...

If you hem and haw, she or anyone else will think they have an "in" because it's MAYBE...be FIRM - NO. Just like you would your child. It is OKAY TO SAY NO!!!

Being FIRM and steadfast - NO. Not interested, thank you.

5 moms found this helpful

A.R.

answers from St. Louis on

"I am not interested.Thank you" and start a new topic of conversation.

4 moms found this helpful
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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

"Thanks, but we're not interested," and change the subject.

3 moms found this helpful

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

I am in a MLM and my company would frown on anyone being pressured to buy products or listen to a spiel. People who are guilted into something will not stay with you.
Just say, "thanks for thinking of me, but I am not interested." You do not need to provide a reason and you certainly should not feel guilty! If they persist, say, "no, I am not interested. I will let you know if I change my mind."

3 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Just say, "I'm not interested, but I'll be sure to let you know if I change my mind". If they persist, I would probably just be super upfront & say that their pitches are starting to make you feel uncomfortable & you're not interested, but you don't want to hurt your feelings and you don't know how to tell them in a polite way.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.F.

answers from Fargo on

This has happened to me repeatedly with Juice Plus+ and Melaleuca. It's so stressful, isn't it? I actually avoid my one friend because she would call, BEGGING me to buy her product so she could make some money. I was very firm with her and asked her not to speak with me about it again and she doesn't understand so I just don't respond to her any more.

Just say a firm, but kind "no", and if they press you, say, "I really value you as a friend and I don't want business come between our friendship." If they are offended by that, you know what kind of "friend" they really are!

*Edit* Your post got me thinking about my past experiences and I really, really want to change my answer to "poke them with a sharp stick every time they bring it up". :) So sorry you are harangued by your friends!

3 moms found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Portland on

Giving excuses just invites persistent people to argue their way around you. What I've learned very recently is the simple phrase: "No, that won't (or doesn't) work for me."

No apologies, no excuses, no reasons. Just a clear no. If appropriate, you can precede your refusal with "I hear you would like me to _______, and…." Smile and keep your voice relaxed and friendly, and you really are not likely to be taken as rude.

You'll be surprised how powerful this feels. Best!

2 moms found this helpful
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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

"I'm seriously not interested"

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Really and truly, if you wouldn't even use the product yourself, you couldn't possibly sell it. I'd tell your friend that. She isn't going to make any money off of you if you don't like the product.

For your old friend who you ran into, I take it that you don't have to see him all the time. That's easier, at least. If he calls again, just say that you aren't interested.

I wouldn't worry about being a bad friend. Just tell them the truth...

Dawn

2 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

Those Arbonne people won't go away! I was harassed by one for a long time, even though I kept saying "no." I now have zero interest in their products, even if they were good.

I had a friend who only called me to bug me about vitamins or Juice Plus. I ended up dropping her as a friend.

The companies do say that if you care about your friends, you'll want to share your awesome benefits with them. That's somewhat true. If your friend has a problem and you have the solution, wouldn't you share it with them? So she might have the best intentions in mind.

Just say "I'm really not interested, so I'd hate for you to waste your time giving me your spiel. Thanks for caring, I hope we can get together soon!"

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Don't feel guilty. I am a Discovery Toys consultant and all of my friends know that I do this. I've mentioned it to them on occasion, asked if they wanted to host parties or join my team, etc. I don't ever hold it against them when they say no and I certainly don't consider them a bad friend. I just understand that obviously what I do is not for everyone.

If the Arbonne friend approaches you again, all you have to do is say "Thanks for telling me about it. Unfortunately, it's just not for me. Good luck though!"

Honestly, I am not offended when friends say that to me.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I've learned for me the hardest word in the world to say is "No". BUT...once you do it's amazing how it works..lol.
The first time is hard............now the key is to not justify your no. The second time it's a bit easier, and once you realize that it works..and works fast...it's easy. Just simply, politely and assertively say "No Thank you". Tha't it! If you start giving excuses you have opened a door for them to "fix" your excuses.
Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

L.M.

answers from Dover on

First off, how do you know you aren't interested if you haven't heard about it? It doesn't hurt to hear them out, at least you can learn something new and make an educated decision. Either way, you can say no..."Thank you for thinking of me/us but I am really not interested" or "Thank you for the information, but it just is not for me".

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Say that you really appreciate them thinking of you but you are not interested in doing anything else or different. You are happy where your at. Then if they say well when can I show you what Im doing/ You say----I am so flattered that you want to show me X business. But I am just not interested. Thanks for thinking of us.

I have been approached a million times and this is what I say--it works because they get the compliment of you thanking them for thinking of them and they aren't led on in regards to showing the business. You are honest and upfront about it. Hope this helps!!!!! M

1 mom found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Despite the fact that direct sales people may be delighted (and may be taught by their superiors!) to share their new product or service with friends and family, the fact is that friendship and business are two different entities.

I may buy popcorn or Christmas wreaths from the Boy Scouts out of a feeling of friendship, but I will not invest a lot of money into a product or commercial venture out of friendship. That's business! And I can respond to a pitch from a friend just as I could to one from the stranger who rings my doorbell: I can just say no.

A salesperson who gets business and friendship confused in his/her mind and keeps trying to pitch the product to me again and again needs to be reminded, "Hey, I'm not a prospective customer! I'm only a friend! Please treat me like a friend, not like a customer." If that doesn't work, I generally put some distance between the friend and me until the fever has gone down.

That said, I have occasionally been known to say to a really good friend just starting out in a new sales job, "I'm not interested in your product, but come over if you want to try your sales pitch out on me. You can practice on me, and I'll tell you how you're doing." But that doesn't often happen.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

"I'm really excited for you. Sounds like a great opportunity for you. We are not interested." If they press, just reply, "We just aren't." If they press again, "Please stop. We are not interested." If they don't stop, then THEY are not a good friend.

1 mom found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

I am very irritated with this kind of situation. If I want to purchase a product, I will go out and research the various brands on my own and learn what my options are. I resent friends using me as their market group. Typically, I simply say, "thanks for thinking of me, but I'm not really interested." If they can't respect that, I don't feel like they are treating me like a good friend.

1 mom found this helpful

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

A "real" friend would not be pressuring you after you already declined.

This person is on a mission to get recruits under her so she can start earning money.. Kindof like a pyramid scheme but they call it legal.

I had a friend who is into (and still is) MonaVie. I stated that I was busy enough/ with my company and was not interested but thank you. She kept pushing and I finally said I do not do business with any of my friends.

We didn't talk for a long time but in the end, she is still in MonaVie, I still run my company (NON MLM.... a legit consulting/brokering business) and we finally talk now socially.. just no business.

I have a family member pushing me to sell her Premier jewelry and telling me how I can make money. Finally, I told her that we were doing quite well on the profits of our own company with sales at $400,000 per month and I needed to stay focused on my bottom line intstead of delaing with something I am not interested in.

They eventually get it. UGH.. I hate pushy MLM'rs

S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have a boss trying to do the same thing. He heard about a friend of his making all this money on some skin care product and keeps telling me I need to sell this with him. I have told him about my skin sensitivities and if I can't use the stuff myself I wouldn't feel right selling it, but he keeps pushing. I got some good advice from you ladies on this from your answers as well. Thanks!

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

You need to stop being so nice and just flat out make it clear you are not interested. My husband and I are both in sales (not MLM's but insurance) and we will keep contacting you unless you clearly say, "no thanks". If you say thinks like, "oh, I'm busy right now...or I'm not sure", or sound wishy-washy, they will keep asking thinking they have a chance. I think because they are "friends" you are trying to be "nice" and gently say you are not interested, but you must not be doing it firmly enough since they still think there is a "open" for them to keep asking. Next time, just say something like, "I understand you are excited about this and need people to sign up, but honestly, we are not going to do it so you will need to look for others to help out". I think then they will "get it" and move on. Just my opinion. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Repeat what you already told them. "I am too busy to take on anything new" and when they ask again, say "Did you not hear what I said earlier? I'm too busy to take on anything new". And then give them the look. I mean, if they are friends of yours, they are kind of stepping on your toes by hounding you. So giving them the look, well, I'd just do it. You have to be stronger than they are. Good luck.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

if honesty equates being a bad friend, you need to re-evaluate what friendship means.
it's really quite simple to decline this sort of thing without being offensive. 'i'm so glad you've found something you're so excited about! it's not something that interests me, i'm afraid, so i won't be joining you. but i hope it works out wonderfully for you. keep me posted!'
no need to make excuses. no need to lie.
khairete
S.

S.M.

answers from Columbus on

I sell Mary Kay and friends say no to me all the time! I don't expect everyone to be my customer or team member just because we are friends.

If the person a friend, and you want to help her out without spending your own money, offer to host a party. It can be a fun time and you can help her expand her circle. But if she is just a casual acquaintance and she's pestering you, you don't owe her anything!

I have friends who sell Tupperware, Pampered Chef, Scentsy, and so on, and I've done parties for some of them. The thing we all have in common is, we are used to hearing NO. We learn not to take it personal. Just be honest.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I agree with Limabean. I'm an Amway Distributor and my ENTIRE team is made up of people (who are NOW my friends) but who were strangers when I recruited them! Personally, I'd prefer someone to tell me straight away that they're not interested, rather than to waste my time doing the pitch, following up etc etc only to eventually not get anything out of it!

My best friend told me right up front that she wasn't interested but she gave me the names and numbers of other people she knew who might be open to the opportunity. That was a total "win-win" as far as I was concerned! Friendship trumps money every time, imho! :)

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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

I have been on both sides of this very situation. I have dabbled in a couple of home-based businesses before, so I know what it is like to ask people or tell them about an opportunity I am excited about. There is opportunity in sales to do very well and more often people give it a go and then drop it. I heard no a lot. As a sales person you just have to understand that that comes with the territory and the more you can hear it, the more success you will have to getting to those yes's. If your friend can't respect your no or not interested, then she needs to re-evaluate if this is really something she is in for the long haul.
Having said that, you should not feel guilty about being honest. Always be polite, but you do sometimes have to be blunt or firm.
Some friends have approached me about parties or opportunities and in my current season of life, the home-based business bug just does not appeal to me. And that is usually what I tell them. I used to sell Beauticontrol, but now I am just a member for the discount for myself. I just purchased some Scentsy stuff recently that I love and have thought about joining for the discount and maybe in a few years I will jump into something that appeals to me. At any rate, you should feel like you can be honest with your friend and just say, thanks for thinking of us, but at this time we just aren't interested in taking on one more thing. You really don't have to say anything beyond that. If all else fails, just repeat saying that. Sooner or later, the person will get the hint and move on.
HTH,
A.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

No decent direct sales company will encourage its distributors to harass friends and family. And if you told someone you weren't interested in using the products for yourself, then it's ridiculous of her to suggest you should sell something you don't like using!

Direct sales is based on long term, satisfied customers who continue to buy. Harassing someone into a one-time sale "just so I can make some money" is really detrimental to the business and creates animosity, the last thing someone in direct sales wants! The Direct Selling Association has only about 200 companies as invitation-only members - and most of the companies these people represent are NOT members because they either aren't ethical or they won't open their books, or they just aren't the best run businesses. It doesn't hurt to ask if their company is a member of the DSA - I know some companies who ARE members really rein in distributors who do the sort of thing you're talking about.

The best thing for those people to do is say, "If you change your mind or want more information, you know where to find me." Then drop it. Really.

You can simply say "No thank you." I realize it's not working, so you need to be firm and say, "I don't like to have my personal relationships mixed with my business relationships" or in the case of someone you already work with, say you want to keep that relationship based solely on the one business.

You are not a bad friend. They are coming to you with a business proposition, and they need to be businesslike about it. If you say no, that should be it. IF they keep pushing, you might say, "I don't know how many more ways I can tell you 'no'. If you aren't willing to listen, I can't imagine that you will be a responsible sales rep who listens to me as a customer."

Then tell them you will have to limit your contact with them if this is going to be the nature of the relationship.

By the way, in the time they are taking to bug you again and again, they could be prospecting new customers. They are wasting their own time as well as yours.

I would just suggest that you not judge all companies by the behavior of a few desperate reps who aren't doing the business the way they should. Maybe their company doesn't train them, maybe they are ignoring the training, I don't know.

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B.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi R., wow you received some great answers! I hope you don't mind one more. I have been in network marketing for 7 years now and some of my friends have joined me to use the products, and others have joined me to make a few extra dollars or create the stable financial future they desire and some have said no.

First of all, your friends are probably new to the industry and they don't know how to approach you with out it feeling like they are selling you something. It is not their fault, they are just new. Don't fault them for their excitement.

I remember when I started, I practically begged my friends to join me. I was feeling sooooo amazing, I released over 40 lbs, I was sleeping like a baby, I was thinking more clearly than I had in years and I just wanted everyone to know about it and feel as good as I did. And then when I started to make some money at it I just KNEW it was for EVERYONE! LOL. You can see how someone can get excited and "forget" that you don't feel the same way.

I would challenge you to listen to what your friends have to say, be open to new possibilities. And if it doesn't resonate with you, then say no thank you. If they are truly your friend they will say something like "I am sorry to hear you aren't interested at this time. Would it be alright if I checked back with you in about 6 months to see if anything has changed?" That makes them a good friend and a caring individual. If they keep pressuring you or making you feel uncomfortable, just ask for the name and phone number of their upline and their corporate office. Let them know that they need more training and you would be happy to let their team know. Trust me, that will work every time.

R., you say you are too busy to take on anything new, everyone is. That is why your friends are introducing you to another option. I tell my team that we do not "add anything to anyone's already full plate, our company, our team, our support system IS the plate". Let me explain, you see, I was an over worked underpaid school teacher with a far too personal relationship with my pharmacist. Back in 2006 my girl friend showed up at my door and put a brown box in my hand and said shut up and eat this (not that box but what was inside of it :). I did. I was so exhausted I couldn't even imagine fighting with her about it. Within days I was coming back to life. My thinking cleared up, my cravings for the wrong stuff faded and I started to sleep again. Since that first introduction, I have helped 1000s of families get on track with their food, fun and financial freedom. Simply because I was too busy and too tired to do anything else. This company I am with, the program and systems that they offer me IS my plate, they support me so that I can do everything else that is on my to do lists every day. If you don't feel that way about any opportunity you have heard about then it's not for you.

I do challenge you to stay open and hear what people have to say.

B.
www.AskBarbilee.com

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