One Year Throwing Tantrums

I used to put mine in the crib with the mantra "It's ok for you to be mad, but I don't want to hear you and no-one else does either. When you are done I will come and get you." When they were older I still made them go to their bed and told them when they weren't mad anymore they could get off their bed and leave their room and then we would work the problem out. But I didn't tolerate tantrums. That doesn't teach them to handle their emotions, just let them spew on anyone that is around.
L.

Aw...I know its hard! But your baby is trying to express him or herself. At 1 since they cant convey their feelings that is just what happens. I have read so much about not punishing them. You talk them through it and talk to them about their emotions like "oh, I know you are so mad mommy took the ball away" but time outs shouldnt be used unless they are doing something to deliberately disobey you. Good luck!

One is a tough age to discipline. I am going through this now for the second time. If you use time out you could put your son in a contained area like a play pen. However, I feel for tantrums the best thing is to ignore. Any kind of attention only encourages them to do it more. The Ignore Method worked wonders with my first child; especially for tantrums. I am doing that with my second as well; however, she doesn't throw as many tantrums as my first one. Good luck!!

First you need to know why the tantrum is happening. Like said below, if it's because of teething a little Oragel will do the trick and a big hug. If it's because of bad behavior like doing something he shouldn't have and you've already said "No" and have given plenty of warnings, then a pen is the best place. Not a sleeping pen, but one of those pens you snap together like locking gates. Place him in there and when he's done and has calmed down then take him out. And too while he's in there totally ignore him with quick glances to make sure he's safe. First I had the pen in the living room. Then when that didn't work anymore, I moved the pen to his bedroom, left a light on, and left the door open. Also make sure there is nothing in the pen with him...no blanket...no toys...nothing. It's the best thing in the world to use. Of course when he gets too big for the pen, then move to a time-out chair/area.

My son started using the "Trouble Pen" at 10 months. It's never too early to start. His teacher says he's very well behaved at school. And now when he knows he's done something wrong he volunteers himself to timeout. It's great! But sometimes when my 3 year old son has his moments he still has to go to the "Trouble Pen" when he's totally non-cooperative and when he's out of control.

Just stay on top of it and stick to your guns. It will pay off! Most of the time all I have to do is remind him of the "Trouble Pen" and that's it and he moves on. He's not quite done with his tantrums, but they are getting less and less as time goes by. He just needs to be reminded who's the boss every once in a while.

You are doing good never give in to a trantrum. I remove the child and let the do their thing. If I can put them in a place where we do not have to hear as well better. Ignoring it the key. I had a mild child up til he turned 2 and had a few tantrums now he is 3 quit. Good luck G. W

It depend on your child. One of mine was so good-natured that the tantrums came when she was just at her wits end with frustration. For her, I realized she just needed a hug and to be conforted. She would literally melt when I picked her up and cuddled her.

I would not use time outs for a one year old. They can't possibly understand what it is at this age. I think you are doing the right thing and should continue. Things don't change over night. You have to give it some time-maybe a week, maybe a month. It depends on your child. Just be consistent and try to avoid things that cause tantrums like being hungry, overly tired, frustrated, etc. The more you learn about your son's personality, the better able you'll be to use the right method of discipline for him. Good luck!

Our pedi suggested using timeouts beginning at age 1 and we are so glad we listened. It took a while to find a good T.O. spot that worked best, eventually it became his room. He takes T.O. very well in his room, lays on his bed and talks the event out with his stuffed animals. We always tell him why he is going to T.O. and then when he comes out we ask him to tell us why he was in T.O.-good luck.

It's normal for them to do this. I wouldn't start time outs until he's about 18 months old.
At this age, he knows what he wants but doesn't know how to vocalize it, so he's frustrated. I always tell my DD to show me what she wants instead of throwing a fit.
I say, "No crying, I can't understand you when you cry. Tell/show mommy what you want." If she refuses, I just ingore her or distract her with another activity.
Check to see if he's teething too. Mine always gets worse when she's teething. Right now, she has 4 two-year molars coming in! Yikes! Needless to say, i've been pulling my hair out lately! LOL.
Good luck! One is fun!

Hi S P,

I have worked with a lot of kids and this works a lot of the time!

First - tell them what you want and how to do things like clam down. "Calm down" means nothing to a 1 year old. Be quiet - said in a whisper, take a breath, while breathing.

Then if they are in tizzy - go behind them and put your hands on them gently or take them into a hug if they will let you- start talking to them in a quiet voice and then lower it to a whisper - this could be reading their favorite book, describing what is in the room, or just saying whatever you would like to in a quiet gentle voice. Most kids will eventually want to hear you and quiet down.
Warning - be ready for the backward head butt!

Good luck!
S. M