I have a 4 year old and a 15 month old. She is the sweetest thing, but she loves to hit and beat up her older brother. I am not sure if disipline will work at this age. Do you have any suggestions on how to get her to quit hitting? She will use her hand or objects. You never know when it's coming either. Sometimes she does it when she is mad or frustrated, but then sometimes she just walks up to him and hits him. Any suggestions would be great.
Thank you all so much for your ideas. I am going to start using them. I am very interested to see how it works.
Lots of great advice, and I'm in the same boat.
With my 15 month old, we firmly fuss at her \and tell her to "love soft" and have her go over to the sibling she hit or pulled the hair of and hug them.
I have not yet tried time outs on her, because she seems to get the message when we tell her NO/Fuss at her. She does not like the stern face and voice.
From the age of walking discipline not only works, but is especially important. It starts as a simple no to a pat on the hands to even time outs. If she's using her hands to hit, you take her hands in your's and say no hitting with a stern face. It may take a few times for her to understand, but I promise she will understand.
I think it is perfectly acceptable to discipline your 15 month old. She needs to learn that hitting and throwing is unacceptable behavior. The next time she does it tell her "NO" right in her face very firmly and place her on her bottom in a corner and tell her to stay there (just 1 min. is appropriate for her age). She probably won't stay but she will be aware that she is in trouble. If she does in fact stay put for 1-2 min. then crouch down next to her and tell her "Hitting is a No No" and have her hug her sibling as an apology. This part is very important since it is teaching her to be responsible for her actions and she will feel better about herself afterwards. Also if your 4 year old ever hits or throws discipline him the same way and she will see that he is responsible for his actions too. Continue the "NO THROWING or NO HITTING" every time it happens. All of the above worked for me for my daughter at the same exact age. We think they are too little to understand discipline but they are not. And if you don't end this behavior quick you will end up with one of those kids that other kids don't want to play with and that's the last thing you want for you and your child. Good luck!
Stay at home Mom of two girls (4 and 20 months old).
J., YES DISIPLINE WILL WORK BUT IT SHOULD BE SOMETHING LIKE TIME-OUT. SPANKING WILL ONLY REINFORCE THE HITTING, YOU COULD TRY SENDING HER TO HER ROOM. I DID IT WITH MY DAUGHTERWHEN SHE WAS 18MTHS OLD AND IT WORKED WONDERS GOOD LUCK A.
a little discipline is needed. Just like what Heather said. Many kids hit for the reaction. "Hey, I made big brother cry and mommy scream... I wonder if I can do it again!" They don't understand pain at this age. But you can say, "Don't hit, that HURTS brother." Then, you show sympathy and comfort to your son so that she understands, and make her give him a hug and say sorry back. "See, it's not nice to hurt someone, say sorry and make it feel better." Eventually, she will understand more fully, but she needs to be taught in the process.
My daughter just turned a year old on Dec. 28th and we just went to her pedi for her 1 year appointment. The doctor said that for aggressive behavior, tantrums or whining that you should ignore the behavior or separate from your child. My daughter has started biting me every once in awhile and she thinks it is funny. I start by telling her "no biting", but like someone else said in a response, she just laughs. So, I have started to put her in her crib in her room for a timeout. I asked the doctor how long I should leave her in there and she said until she calms herself down (she will scream if I put her in there and leave). This part has been difficult and I can honestly say that I only leave her in there for a couple of minutes and I get her out before she is calm, but I do think that when you are talking about agressive behavior such as hititng or biting, you need to do something more than ignore it (i.e. give them a timeout). Ignoring the whining or the temper tantrums seems to be working, but when she bites, I put her in timeout. If her doctor thinks it's okay to start this at a year, then I'm sure it's good advice for a 15 month old. Also, a few people mentioned putting her in a corner, but if she is anything like my daughter, there is no way she is staying there, so the crib might be a better choice to get the point across. Good luck! This discipline stuff is hard!!! :-)
Though I do not agree with hitting a child, they do need to start the process of disipline without being slapped, hit or whatever. Espically with a child that is hitting, hitting them will only confuse them if you tell them No Hitting and then mom or dad turns around and hits the child, know what I mean?
My daughter bites, she is 15 months old. She thinks it is a game and when I tell her "No Biting, that hurts Mommy (or Daddy)" she will laugh and try it again. I do attempt to dirvert her attention to something else, and sometimes it works, others it does not.
We are also starting time outs/corner after she has been warned 3 times not to bite. I place her in the corner or another area without toys(well I have to make sure she stays there so I usually hold her there) for 1 min. She seems to understand she is in trouble (she crys and fusses while in the corner or placed in another spot) and afterwards will not go back to biting for awhile (and cuddles afterwards also). I also explain to her why she went into the corner and once again that biting hurts.
Hope this helps.
At this age, I used to put my kids' hands in time-out. I sat with them and held their hands, while I explained that hands are for holding and hugging, not for hitting and hurting. When they could use their hands for loving touches, they would get to have them out of time-out.
Worked like a champ.
I'm not sure if she's old enough but we found time outs to work wonders for my ds' biting. It only took about 4 of them to make an impression. We just calmly tell him that if he does it he gets a time out. When he does, he sits on his cushion in the hallway (nothing interesting there) and sits for 2 minutes (he's 2). You'd think we'd tortured him. We just calmly tell him why he's in time out afterwards and let him go with a hug.
My kids are 21 months and 3 years, and I have a hard time with this sometimes, too. I try to really emphasize to her that we do not hit-- we give hugs and kisses to our sister. Usually when that happens she will lean over and hug her older sister, which seems to help a little bit with older sister. I know this is not a lot of help, but it is the best I have to offer!
J., I'm in the same boat - a 15 month old that likes to hit and a 2 1/2 year old - I strongly disagree with hitting the hand (teach not to hit by hitting???)...I say no hit, only hug, make him hug his brother and then he has a 15 second time out in my lap where I restrain him - it's went from about 2 episodes a day to only one in the last week - so it seems to be working. Not to mention - he goes and gives TONS of hugs!!!
Teri
