One-year Old Son Screeches for Demands and Attention

Updated on October 19, 2009
A.P. asks from San Marcos, CA
7 answers

Our 1-year old recently stepped up his habit of screeching to a volume and frequency that is unacceptable to us. Whenever we are out in public he does it to get heads to turn. Most people laugh and smile so he thinks it's cute. This weekend we started getting some angry looks and people leaving our immediate vicinity because the pitch is so awful it hurts. When we are alone with him and he isn't getting his way he screeches too (i.e. when we take something away from him that is dangerous or not allowed). It seems like he is having trouble communicating, but simultaneously he has stopped using some of the sign language we've been teaching him. Any ideas about why this is happening or suggestions for working through it? We are not opposed to a stronger form of discipline, but are not sure when it's appropriate to start.

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C.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ear plugs & less time in public. Discipline is not going to work. This is his voice. Eventually, he will talk, but that is a year to two down the road, so you just need to find ways to cope.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey A.,
This may be a silly question, but I am wondering if your son has had any vaccinations recently? There are some disorders that are caused by some of the various vaccines and high pitched screaming is one of the symptoms. If he has had any vaccinations recently, you may want to make an appointment with your pediatrician to rule out a potential serious reaction to the vaccine.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A.:
I would suggest reading up on (What to expect from A One Year Old)
Screaming,screeching,are forms of communication for this age group.You may have taught him some sign language,but not enough, to prevent feelings of frustration, When he is unable to get through to you.The quickest way for him to communicate his feelings to you, is a (scream). It wasn't that long ago,that he had to cry to let you know if he was wet, hungry or hurt. This is but another step up from crying.As he learns to better communicate those feelings,He'll then talk(Tell you)Why would you consider disciplining your child,for attempting to communicate with you? That would be like punishing your child for attempting to learn.As A child, If I got punished every time I opened my mouth,I would have choice (MUTE.) This is all developmental, Loosen up,don't rush him,and be patient and understanding,if You want your relationship with your son to be special.I wish you and your darlin Son the best. J. M

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Consult with your pediatrician- or developmental pediatrician- I was with you on the behavior until you mentioned regression on other forms of communication- it is important to rule out anything medical or developmental- which can also affect behavior.... Look at all possibilities to make sure you are addressing his needs-

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R.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter went through a phase of screeching. Sometimes we'd ignore it, but I think most effective was telling her it hurt our & others' ears, that we couldn't help her until we could hear & think straight, etc. She'll still occasionally screech/scream when she feels desperate for attention, but the same reasoning usually stops her.

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M.C.

answers from San Diego on

I went through the screaming phase when my daughter was that age (though not as much in public). In my case, it was almost always to get attention (e.g. she would use it to interupt a conversation). I found that the best way to deal with it was an immediate and consistent consequence (not that I'll claim to have achieved that completely).

I tried to teach my kids that screaming is for outside only. If they scream during dinner, then they got put outside by themselves (just moved the whole high chair out). If we are in a store, we go outside. If we are in the car, I have stopped and gotten out until she is done. It's challenging, and I still deal with it to some extent a year later. But the key seems to be not rewarding the behavior with what the child is trying to use the scream to get (usually attention).

Good luck!

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

When did he turn one? Does he seem to understand you when you talk to him? Screeching or yelling is not uncommon, though I can definitely see how it would be annoying and very frustrating. But, if he doesn't understand what you're saying and has stopped trying to communicate in other ways (like signing), it may be worth a conversation with his pediatrician.

For now, I'd try two things and see which works better. First, try to very firmly say "No. Don't scream. It hurts my ears" every time he does it. You can also point out other people that leave the area ("That lady is finding a new table to sit at because your screaming upset her").

Second, don't ever give in if he is screaming for something specific. If screeching gets the result he's going for, he'll keep doing it.

K.
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