My 3 month old daughter has gotten into the habit of nursing to fall asleep. This is becoming a problem because she has started waking up every hour or 2 at night to nurse for a few minutes and falls back to sleep. I think if she could fall asleep without nursing she would sleep for 4 or 5 hours without waking to eat. She had been doing this for a few weeks until she started wanting to nurse to sleep. Any suggestions on how to fix this?
My daughter, also, has stopped taking a bottle. We tried giving her a bottle when she was about a month old because my husband wanted to feed her. She would take either breast milk or formula in a bottle and did this no more than once a day for a few weeks. When my husband went back to work we stopped giving a bottle it has been about 6 weeks since she had a bottle and now she won't take It anymore. My husband and I would like to go out to dinner next week but we can't unless she'll take a bottle for my parents. Has anyone had this problem? How did you fix it?
Thank you to those of you who gave thoughtful and constructive answers. I would like to clarify that i don't mind nursing my daughter to sleep and I don't feel like my expectations for her out of line. I'm going by my experience with my older daughter who slept 5 hrs at night from the day we brought her home so I'm not used to a baby who wakes every hour or 2. I have read that babies need to learn to self soothe and was afraid that by nursing her to sleep she would not learn to do this. After reading some responses, I tried keeping her awake more at each feeding aNd this helped a little. I guess she is just going through a growth spurt!
My husband is going to try to Give her a bottle with breast milk tomorrow. If it doesn't work, I guess we'll be going somewhere close to home for dinner!
I would try getting her to eat longer in one feeding if you can, that might hold her over for longer if you haven't already tried that. I found tickling their little feet helps them stay focused on eating a little longer. Good luck. :)
My daughter was the opposite, once she had a bottle, she didn't wanna go back to working so hard for the milk and weaned herself & now I have no milk left :-/
I had this problem and nursed my daughter till she was about 22 months old and was going crazy. At 3 Months you still have time to change things up. Don't make my mistake. I was ambivalent because I knew she was going to be my last baby so I didn't mind as much but at the same time... you are really stuck if that is the only way she will fall asleep! And I was a little trapped before she switched to the bottle as well as nursing so someone else could watch her!
I find it so funny how we let these little tiny human beings that weren't even here three months ago... take ALL the control!!! (I am saying this because I totally lived it!!!)
I agree with Jessi... Try to get the feeding last a little longer. We CAN re-direct their pattern! Even though it seems impossible because we have allowed the habit to form. WE are the adults! Try to think of it this way... when she gets a little older and doesn't eat all her dinner you are not going to let her call room service (YOU) every two hours when she is hungry during the night! lol.
I can not agree more with Mel F. You can keep trying the bottle but some babies, like my son hated it so much. I just wanted to add that the sleeping for 2 hours is completely normal at this age. One thing you can do is get her into her her own crib and out of your room. That really helped us. Also, get her Ocean Wonders aquarium or other nightlight/music box that attaches to the crib. That will help her self soothe when she wakes up. Nursing to sleep is completely natural and don't feel bad about it. My son did it for the longest time AND he sleeps through the night starting at 4 1/2 months. I reccomend letting her cry for a few minutes because if she knows you run right in then it will just continue to happen. If she cries for more than a few minutes or it escalates significantly, nurse her. She is only 3 months old and waking 1-2 times a night is totally normal at this point.
Well my son refused a bottle completely. He is 10 months and no bottles ever. When I go anywhere we just do it around his nursing(what else can you really do) It was tough when he was as little as yours though because he ate closer together. If you want to go out to eat just figure out what time the baby will eat say 5:00 have your parents be there at 530 and just be ready to leave as soon as your done. Crazy way to live I know but if she won't take a bottle your options are limited. Why would she want a bottle when she could be close to the person she loves the most in the whole world?! You might just have to let her cry it out or maybe your husband could put her back down at night so she doesn't smell your milk. It might be an exhausting couple of nights but eventually she will sleep. Good luck I know how you feel.
Well... here is an overall trick for children. We train them! You will see your 5 year old treat babies a certain way and realize it's how you treat them. It infects every aspect of our lives - not just what we do but how we say things. So, yes, what baby wouldn't want to be nursed to sleep? I love cuddling and would personally love to be cuddled to sleep every night - it really is great! But that didn't work for me with my children.
So, I got the babies on a 'nurse-play-sleep' routine. It meant changing their diaper during nursing to keep them awake. It means putting the baby to bed, swaddled, in the crib and letting her comfort herself to sleep. We let them cry for 20 minutes, then pat and comfort - without picking up. Repeat til they fall asleep. I know it feels horrible to hear them cry. But another maxim in parenting is to figure out the goal and a plan and follow it. She will learn to fall asleep on her own. She will sleep longer. At 3 months, we were on an every 4 hour feeding schedule and then she'd sleep longer at night. Once she sleeps through the night (first 6 hours, then longer), you can expect it.
Once you get her on a 4 hour schedule - go out to dinner after nursing her and be home in 4 hours. That's they way we did it with all our girls (3). There is a sacrifice in just nursing, but I found it not a problem once I embraced it.
Hi A.,
Haven't read your other answers yet...I'm sure there's great advice. About 40 years ago, I had my second son one morning and the next morning I brought him home from the hospital. That night my husband and I went out to dinner to celebrate at a lovely local restaurant while the sitter had the kids. We were only gone about an hour, so no need for bottle or worry.
Have you thought about taking the baby with you to the restaurant? Perhaps you could time your dinner with her sleeping.
"Grams"
from the Pocono Mts. of PA
1) babies this young, usually do fall asleep after nursing. Because they are full. They then drop off the nipple.
2) 3 months old is a Growth-Spurt time. So yes, feeding frequency increases as well as amounts taken in.
3) "Cluster Feeding" is, when a baby needs to feed even every.single.hour. And this is normal and indicates changing growth and growth spurts.
4) Intake in a baby, has to keep up with them. Not the other way around. Otherwise, they will NOT be getting enough intake. And feed on-demand.
This does not sound unusual to me at all.
Sleep in a baby, is NEVER static. It does change and per the baby's age stage and development and per hunger and per growth-spurts and per teething etc.
My kids, whenever hitting growth-spurts, woke a TON. I woke too and nursed on demand. They grew like weeds and had super GINORMOUS appetites.
But yes, as the other person said, make sure she is feeding adequately.... use both breasts per feeding. She needs to get to the hind-milk.
Also, not all babies will take a bottle. My daughter was like that. But my son would.
Your baby used to take a bottle. Now she won't. So you just need to nurse. My daughter would flat out refuse any type of bottle.
Since she's not eating for sustenance at this hour, have you tried slipping a pacifier in during the day and sneaking one in at night too?
I had one baby that would do this, they startle themselves awake and search for the boob, their little head and mouth shaking back and forth. So I popped a paci in and it stopped the midnight hunt for me. I don't recall it worked right away, probably took a few nights.
Your 3 month old is behaving normally - it you who has a tad bit excessive expectations for a 3 month old breastfeeding infant.
Around 3 months is the first growth spurt... which means a real increase in feedings much closer together. This is necessary to increase your milk supply to the demands of the infant's needs. It will occur every 2-3 months, it's how babies develop.
Nursing to sleep is a very common and wonderful experience. When you nurse, your body and baby's body will start a hormonal/chemical cycle which will relax you and make you sleepy. It was meant so that both mom and Baby could sleep together and relax - so neither would get too overtired or frustrated. Co-sleeping for the first 2 years is ideal - due to this constant need (not manipulation) of constant skin to skin contact infants and toddlers require to develop.
I always encourage Mommas to pump as much as possible to have a stockpile of frozen breastmilk - since you never know what may happen, but to only give bottles in case of emergencies or Mom is away from the baby physically (like a date night). Daddy doesn't need to feed the baby in order to feel important or close to baby - that is what bathing, rocking, singing and playing with baby does. Only Mommy should be feeding the baby - especially if breastfeeding.
You can easily leave a bottle of breastmilk for the Grandparents... with the forewarning that baby may not want it, so be patient and loving to her with lots of holding for the 2-3hours you and Husband are out on a date night. It's really not that hard, it's not like you will be gone all day.
Babies usually fall asleep nursing. If she's getting up to comfort nurse, you can try a paci if you aren't opposed to it. Otherwise, you can let her fuss and she may figure out how to self soothe back to sleep. Note, I said fuss. I never let little babies cry, but there's a different between crying and fussing.
Breastfed babies may not be amenable to an occasional bottle. You can feed her before you leave and be gone for 2 hours, and not need a bottle. Otherwise, you can pump and leave a bottle and either she'll take it or she'll cry, but she will not starve to death
