Non-stop Screaming/screeching from 16 Month Old

Hi there.
I have a 21 mth old. He started screaming at 14 mths or so. I think you are on the money...communication frustration. I tried to distract him in so many ways and sometimes it works (tried to break into song, tried splashing a little water on face for distration, tried to redirect him from what was bothering him) I have read every book and tried every strategy and he seems to be growing out of it a little right now. He has replaced it with aggresiveness and i have a feeling he is a strong personality. He is picking up more words and we are always applauding him so now i think he is less frustrated. Doesn't it bother you that the doctor's all advise to ignore it and when it is happening out in public, it is so humiliating???

Maybe your little boy and my little boy should start a Metal Band. Mine is in the same stage. We have left restaurants, and friends homes. We have not been super successful, but we try not to acknowledge the behavior when at home because my boy does it for attention too. We wait until he uses a sign or points.
I hope it is just a boy stage :)
Good Luck

Behavior Modification. Remove him from the situation and put him in some form of isolation - his room/crib with the door closed, the car seat if you are out, whatever. If he does not get what he wants when he screams, he'll figure it out. Use FEW words but the same words. "Talk quietly" or "Inside Voice please", whatever works. The more attention he gets while you try to figure out the cause of the screaming, the more he will figure that the screaming works. He gets your undivided attention whenever he does it. You're trying to stop it or figure out what he is trying to communicate, but all he sees is "I get Mommy when I yell." Good luck.

When my daughter did this I would tell her to scream louder because I coudln't hear her. Of course she was already screaming as loud as she could but she would try anyhow and I would continue to tell her that I still couldn't hear her. It took maybe 3 or 4 times before she realized that screaming was doing her no good at all and she gave it up.

My son does it too and it drives me insane! It's gotten to the point that when he does it, we'll just listen and eventually start laughing because he gets so loud and its this shrill loud high pitched scream that we literally have to take him inside and close all the windows and doors for fear someone will call the CPS on us, it's that bad! I know it's done for attention so lately I have just been ignoring him and letting him play in his playpen or in the playroom. He gets really bad when you take stuff away from him and it never fails he always has something in his hand that would cause damage to himself or another (he has a 7 yr. old brother so his world is filled with light sabers of every kind, cars big and small and his favorite, the game controllers for the Wii and PS3 systems) and my son was a preemie though, he was born two months early and I sometimes think that maybe it has something to do with the screaming? Doctor says its a phase to see how far he can go and to ignore it....I can ignore it but everyone else were around about jumps out of their seats and heads are a spinnin and the dirty looks I get....even other mothers seem to look at us in sadness, any advice??

I'd say it depends on WHY he's screaming. My son will do that when he gets really mad that he can't have/do something. When that's the case I just stay calm, tell him I'm sorry he's upset/angry but that he can't do what ever it is. Then if we're home I walk away and ignore it. If we're out some times I pick him up and remove him from the space.
Some kids also go through a phase when they yell even when happy. It's like they're are realizing "wow, I did that" and they're pretty fascinated with it. My son did that TOO for a bit and then we focused on "shhh" and what an inside voice is. :) I think the key is not to let it get to you (visibly) so they don't think they can get a rise out of you.
I DEFINITELY would not yell back. I think it just teaches them yelling is acceptable. I like you're idea of whispering!

Put him down, walk away. Ignore the screaming completely.

I have also ignored this type of behavior completely, or switching things up immediately if it occurs. This method seems to have worked with us, because my DD understands that screaming will get her no where.

My son is 17 months and we see this sometimes. It occurred to me that my son doesn't actually know that some behaviors are not appropriate, or what is expected. it sound like that may be the case with your son. If you don't tell him his behavior is not acceptable and clearly state what is acceptable, he will keep doing the "fun" behavior.

I use a "crying corner" for such outbursts. I tell Miles that, " it is Ok to cry, but you must go to the crying corner. When you are done crying you can come out." or "Mommy does not like whining. Whining is not allowed. If you are going to whine then you must go to the crying corner until you are done whining."
It's not fool proof, but it is a way to redirect his behavior. I don't get fixated on him staying in the corner (the mat at the back door), and he scoots out to come find me. As long as he is not crying/whining/shreiking, then I hug him and play. If he starts up, then back he goes.

Absolutely DO NOT continue to hold him while he shrieks, that is disrespectful.

I say scream back, it may just get his attention. When my kids pitched a fit, I'd get right down on the floor and act out too now and then. It'll be a good release for you too! Oh, to see the looks on their faces! Course, you want to scream back in a controlled way to mirror his pitch, away from his ear, and have a good laugh with him afterwards. Scream, stop when he does, scream when he does, stop, scream, stop... watch his reaction. He won't know what hit him, but he'll realize the control goes back to you in short order. He'll also learn to laugh at himself, which is an important coping skill.

Two is not too young for a time-out either. One minute per year of age. Our spot was the bottom of the staircase in our foyer. When the time was up, I always sat next to my child on the stairs and talked it through. First, they had to offer me an apology. When they did, I asked, "And what are you sorry for?" If they could tell me, then I knew they'd learned the lesson. If they couldn't, then we talked it over and hoped it clicked in. I'd always end with a hug, which reinforces you love the child but don't like the fresh behavior.

Another thing that works well when the kids are frustrated, is have them go to the couch and scream into a pillow. It diffuses the angst, and just feels good to get it all out. It's easier on your ears too, then you can help him talk through whatever was frustrating him. I've done it myself a time or two in front of them to show them that even Mommy gets frustrated sometimes!

An important part of childhood is about testing the boundaries. So, best that you are prepared with discipline tactics ahead of time, especially since it looks like your son is going to give you a run for the money and maybe your daughter hasn't yet. A time-out routine is good. Once they can count, another great one is to say stop whatever behavior they shouldn't be doing, or ask them to do whatever chore you need them to do. If they don't do what you've asked, tell them you're going to count to three and if they don't do what you've asked by the time you get to three, there will be a consequence (be sure and have your consequences laid out in your head ahead of time, like time out, loss of privileges -- treats, TV or computer time, etc.). This gives them a chance to save face and make a good decision. Course, you have to follow through every time when they decide to push the limit. It pays off though. My girls are now 11 and 15, and all I have to do is raise the first finger and they get hopping!

Hope you've found something here you can use, good luck!

I would suggest ignoring the screaming as best you can. He's at an age where he's looking for a reaction... The novelty of screaming will pass soon and he'll be on to the next thing!!

E. ~
I really like your idea of whispering in response!

I also thought your take on why this may be happening - that it may be associated with his inability to communicate -- was very astute. Have you considered teaching him sign language? Even some very basic signs (I've found the most important are all-done, more, nurse, food, water, go, 'i don't know' & PLEASE) can help bridge these few months between the desire to communicate & clear speech. Seriously, signing helped both my boys deal with frustration levels.

Another thing to try is to make a game out of the corrections. Maybe start with saying 'shhhh' with a finger to your lips & then talking in a whisper. Smile & make it a game. Do it when he's not screaming.

I wouldn't ignore it, but I wouldn't punish it either. I would try to correct the behavior, while giving him some tools to communicate in a different way. & remember, this is a stage. It will pass.