Night Time "Accidents"

I have two sons and they both wet the bed after they were potty trained. My daughter was potty trained a week before her second birthday and did not have accidents while sleeping. The bladder of boys matures at a slower rate than that of girls. It is common that he is incontinent at night and does well during the day. I encouraged my sons and gave them positive reinforcement when they were facing this challenge. I used a mattress protector on their bed and an incontinence product designed for this age for bedtime. It will eventually fix itself. The worst thing a parent can do in a situation like this is to scold or demean a child for something he does not have control over. Good luck and hang in there! It will take some time but he is worth it!

i wouldn't reward/punish him for things out of his control. my daughter is 3 1/2 and stays dry all night. the first time she had an accident (after she began staying dry) we started waking her when we went to bed (11-12ish) to pee. sometimes we'd forget, and she was still ok. but i do think that it somehow helped her to be able to hold it, and become more confident as well. they also sell a bell and pad device that wakes kids with an alarm when they begin going. good association for them to get it. good luck.

I can imagine your frustration, but hang in there. My husband says he had daytime accidents until he was 5 1/2.
Try taking his pull ups away, let him pee the bed (with platic sheets of course) and maybe he will hold back and wake up, so he doesn't pee all over himself.
Just a thought, hope it helps.

mom, try putting him to bed earlier,
and waking him up before you go to bed,

in my experience its from heavy sleeping

the earlier to bed, the better

and you waking him up every night will go a long way to helping him develop a routine.

My 12 year old has accidents
and my 3 year old has had only one.

I understand

M

My daugher (who is now 13) went through the same thing. I spoke to her doctor after trying the same things and he recommended a medication called DDAVP.It is a nasal spray and it helps to jump start the part of the brain that controls night time bladder control. We only needed to use the med for a couple of weeks. It was wonderful. All kids brains mature at different speeds...it is definately not your sons fault...talk to your pediatrician.....
D.

I agree- take away the pullups and put him in undies. My daughter's nighttime wetting was drastically reduced when we did that. Try double making the bed, too, so you have waterproof pad, set of sheets, waterproof pad, set of sheets. This way you can just rip everything off the bed and have clean ones already on it! Good luck.

I agree with Jessica. My son wet his pull ups at night until 6 years old. He is now almost 18. His pediatrician told me that this is normal, especially for boys. One thing that is important is that your son gets enough rest at night. The doctor told me that sometimes when a child goes to bed late, the less control they have because they are so exhausted and are in such a deep sleep, they can't control their bladder. That was not the case with my son though because he went to bed in the early evening. I would definitely check with your son's pediatrician too.

Please don't stress about it or let him either. My two older boys ages 5 and 8 still have accidents at night. I buy the Underjams or Goodnights for them and it isn't an issue. I have read that boys take longer for their bladders to mature and that studies have shown it can take up to age 12 in some cases.

Limiting drinks did nothing for our boys as well so now I don't do it anymore. I figure, why refuse them a drink when it doesn't solve the problem? I don't wake them up at night either. I have heard from multiple sources that all that does is train the child to go to the bathroom at the same time every night. It's funny...I actually see people say that on here like it's a good thing that their grown children still wake up at X time to use the bathroom every night. The point isn't to wake up at 1 am every night to use the bathroom. It's to go through the night, asleep, WITHOUT having to use the bathroom.

I wouldn't give him rewards for staying dry. To me, how can you reward or on the other hand, punish, for something he is doing while he is asleep? He isn't making a conscious decision to behave or not behave. This is a non-issue for us. The boys have a special trash care with an odor lid that every morning they go in, change their clothes, throw their Good Night or Underjam away, go make their beds, etc. It's just part of their morning routine. We don't even bring attention to it.

I wish you both the best,
L.

My son will be 6 in 6 weeks. We just got out of pullups overnight this summer - he decided he no longer wanted to wear them. I still have about one night/week where he wakes up wet - sometimes he wakes up enough to make it to the bathroom so he doesn't soak his bedding, other times he does not. My pediatrician told me that something like 75% of boys are not night trained for a good year or two after daytime training, and it drops by about 10% each year (so, three years after day time training, only about half of the boys are night trained). If there is a family history of bed wetting, a history of allergies, and deep sleepers all contribute to a later ability to stay dry overnight. (I've also heard that during a growth spurt, children (especially boys) are more likely to wet overnight, probably because they are sleeping so deeply...)

I have also been seeing a urologist for my younger son. He confirmed all that my pediatrician said. I wouldn't worry about it too much...

too much sugar in the diet can cause this also, at least it seemed to help when i had this issue to cut way back on the sugar

Here is what we did for night time training, which I got from a book at the library: We never used pull ups, but did buy some washable incontinence pads from the local home medical equipment company to put on top of his sheet. We would have him pee just before crawling into bed. Before I went to bed, I would scoop him up, sound asleep and carry him to the toilet. When we tried waking him up, he would freak out and fight it, so that's why we did it with him sound asleep. Plop him on the toilet, he'd pee, we'd put him back to bed. After a few weeks, he would wake up whimpering and we would carry him or help him walk into the bathroom and he'd pee. Then at some point he would wake up and run to his bedroom door whimpering, and we'd help him get into the bathroom. It eventually evolved to him waking up just enough to run into the bathroom and pee on his own. In conjunction with this, we did a reward program.

He is almost 6 years old now, and only wets the bed when he has had too much sugar and he's over tired. Since we know these are his triggers, we really limit his sugar intake and make sure he gets 10-11 hours of sleep every night. When a special event or something sugars him up and cuts down on his sleep, I will resort to scooping him up an taking him to the bathroom before I go to bed.

Good luck!

I know that this is going to sound crazy...I know, because I've lived it! I have two boys 9 and 5, neither one of them have had night time accidents because I had a method that I used for a few months until the routine was set. I would put my kids to bed around seven or eight and then when it was time for me to go to bed, I would go in and wake up the little one by taking him into the bathroom (to go pee one more time). He wouldn't really wake up...kind of a dazed state. I just pulled down his pants and said go pee baby...and he would. Tucked the little guy back into bed and dry fabulous nights! Once he got into the routine of dragging his tired booty from bed to go to the potty I didn't have to initiate anything.

You know how it is being a mommy...you have to get creative sometimes.

Good luck!
E.

No advice, but the same problem! I ran out of pull ups last May for both my kids. My daughter hasnt had an accident since, but her 7 year old brother cant seem to go 3-4 nights without an accident. I too dont make a big deal of it but he knows now to take off his sheets and put them in the washer. Boys are different than girls!!

Please don't stress out about this. My EIGHT year old daughter still needs to wear a pull-up at night! Since she is the youngest of four, I'm pretty laid back about almost everything. I did speak to my pediatrician, though- and she assured me that this is more a minor inconvenience than a serious problem.
It really doesn't bother her a bit, even at sleepovers. Probably because it doesn't bother ME a bit, and in my house, it really is no big deal. What made me feel even better was the fact that my very good friend, who is a doctor, has a son who is 10 and still wears a pull-up at night. I just have faith that it will all work out in time.
-J.

This is VERY common in children, boys slightly more. Don't worry him and know that their bodies are growing so fast that parts don't keep up. The main part is the bladder. Do try limiting liquid and do try getting him up about midnight (or just before you go to bed) walk him to the bathroom and get him to go. A reward system is great but it may be completely out of his control right now. A.

In most children, nighttime bedwetting is a physiological thing. Their bladders aren't ready to go so long holding it. Children are also often very deep sleepers. The odds are that he will grow out of it in his own time. I would mention it to his pediatrician, just so he is aware of the situation. Limiting his intake of fluids and waking him to go before you go to sleep will help keep him dry, because smaller amounts of liquid will end up in his bladder at night, andhe won't have to hold it as long, but it won't "teach" him to stay dry. He's unhappy about it, which is a positive thing. It means he is motivated to stay dry, and will more than likely do so just as soon as his bladder has caught up with the rest of his body.

I would not worry, especially with a boy (I have two). Kids take different amouts of time to develop a blatter than can hold it all night. He will get there.

This is very common especially in boys. I would however go to the doctor just to be sure.

Hi P.B-

My son is almost 6. Our turn around aside from stopping liquids an hour before sleep was having him use the bathroom right before he jumped into bed. Now he drinks a small bottle right before bed, we count to 60 and he goes to the bathroom, pees and no accidents at night! It's perfectly normal for boys. My husbanbd was a bed wetter till he was 13! AS was almost every male in his family. A. B.

personally, i would not worry about it at all for now. If he had been dry at night for a long time and then started to have accidents it would be different. If he worries about it he will not sleep well, let him get his rest and give him time and he will outgrow it. He has an advantage. Pull-ups!! they did not have them when i was a kid and my sister had the problem. I remember being told to sleep with her to help keep her kidneys warm and I hated it. I would end up sleeping in her wet bed and would be up and down all night long trying to wash up with out waking my parents up. Their intentions were good but a lost cause. She eventually grew out of it. Just my thought. T.

I actually have the same situation. My daughter is 3 1/2 and wears underwear to bed, never having an accident. My son is 5 1/2 and stil lwears a Pull Up to bed. Most nights he is dry, but there are others when he wakes up very wet. I have also heard that it is easier for girls. I haven't done this yet, but maybe switching to underwear will help him to realize that he needs to wake up when he starts to feel wet. I wouldn't start to worry yet.

Good luck!

Hi PB, I am wondering why you are putting pull-ups on him? I would suggest getting a rubber pad for his bed and letting him wear underwear to bed. If he was to wet he would feel it. He needs to learn how to hold it during the night or get up to go to the bathroom. I think the pull-up is giving him the OK to pee. Hopefully with only a few accidents he will be trained at night. My best, Grandma Mary

Hi P B,
I have 4 children 3 boys 18, 14, 6 and one girl 4.
My oldest had the same problem. He was potty trained at 2 but still had nite time accidents till he was "11". It was very hard since his younger brother was trained at three and had no nite time accidents from that point on.
We also did all the "tricks" that everyone told us, limiting fluids, "no" fluids after 6pm, waking him up through out the nite, plus some pretty strange ones (thanks mom). Nothing helped. The hardest part was to keep myself from getting frustrated. My friends at the time, were no help and forget my mom who was so old school it was a joke. I thought at one point that it was never going to end, that there was a major problem with my son. Finally our Dr told us that many boys have an inmature bladder and this is the cause of there nite time bed wetting. he told us to keep us with the routine we had because it could not hurt, but he did say that he would out grow it. His bladder just had to catch up with the rest of him. Larger children( I am not talking "over weight", just larger) seem to have this problem until the bladder catches up with there body. He did not recommend any meds for this.

I hated changing sheets all the time. however, while visiting a relative in the hospital, I grabbed one of those pads for the bed, that go over the bottom sheet. It was a life saver. ( I am not saying that you should actaully steal one from a hospital, lol, they actually sell them now).

Now my 6 year old is going through this.....)(my 4 yr old has no nite time problems)....But now that I know what the problem is I dont get that crazed about it. ESPECIALLY SINCE NOW THEY HAVE THE GREAT OVERNITE DIAPERS. They really make a difference.
My advice to you is dont worry, it really is normal. If you get worked up it will make your son feel like it is his fault and it really isnt. My son tells me now that seeing me get so upset in the mornings really used to make him feel like a failure. (Yes, he is 18 and this is the time to lay Mom with the guilt trips, lol)
His body will fine tune itself when it is ready. Just make sure to tell him that it is not his fault, and yes explain it to him in a way he can understand. It is amazing what they can understand. I actually heard my 6 year old talking to his cousin about why he still wears a diaper at nite. He laid it right out there and his cosin(who is the same age) just said OH- OK lets play. and that was that. No more teasing - nothing.
I wish you luck....But really DON'T WORRY, it is more common that people admitt to.
L.

Hey, how are you? I know it's hard. We have been going through the same thing w/ our son. He'll be 8 in 1 month and pees like a race horse all night long. In August, we took him to a urologist. Best thing we ever did. Beleive it or not, there is a medical term for bedwetting and it's considered a disease (for med books only, I'm sure). Boys have a VERY hard time avoiding night time wetting. We started Nicholas with a watch that the Dr recommended. It's WONDERFUL. We have it set to vibrate every 2 hrs for him to go to the bathroom, even in school. I did see a difference w/in the 1st week that the night pee wasn't as bad. He still wet, but not soaked. We went for a visit last week and the Dr decided to put him on pills. These hold the bladder for about 8 hrs and then relases all of his urine at once. The 1 pill didn't work. I have hospital pads on his bed and they were dripping because of the amount of urine that he peed out. Well, after 5 days of washing his bed, I called the nurse. I spoke to her yesterday and she said to go up to 2 pills. We did that last night and what a difference. His pullup was still wet, but not sopping. Hopefully, w/in the next 2 weeks, he'll be dry. If not, they'll put him up to 3 pills (that's the max). Don't go through your pedi, go straight to the urologist. Pedi's are good to recommend, do physicals and tell you where to go. Don't get me wrong, I absolutley LOVE my pedi's and would recommend them to anyone, but my son was born sick and was misdiagnosed SEVERAL times, almost died and ended up having heart surgery at 3 months old. This group I'm with is our 5th group and they're the best!!! I also have a group of Dr's at CHOP in Phili for him. I don't mess around when it comes to Dr's. Give the urologist a try just to see what they have to say. You can have an outcome that'll make both you and your son happy. If you're in NJ and would like the name of our Dr, send me an email and I'll pass his name and number along to you. I wish you the best of luck. Take care. ____@____.com

I am reading a book that says that you shouldn't be concerned until age 6. However, where you or your husbnd bed wetters? If so your son has a 70% chance he will be too. Is your son a very deep sleeper? Chances are he doesn't realize that he has to go while he sleeps. I was a bed wetter too. I knew I had to go. I'd see myself walking down the hall and going in the bathroom. The problem, I was dreaming it the whole time. Before you go to bed try waking him to make him go potty. When I did this with my son he mostly woke up dry. But I stopped doing it. I'm sure if I kept it up he'd have been night trained. I know the other mom's said take away the pull ups and he'll stop. Not true. I wet the bed until 12 and we didn't have pull ups then. Taking them away and letting him pee the bed will only do 2 things:
1. humiliate him more
2.give you more laundry
If he sleeps soundly it won't matter whether he has them on our not. He will still wet during the night.

Good luck. My advice is to get 4-6 decent water-proof sheets and wait it out. (I say 4-6 b/c you are supposed to air dry them.)

Perhaps try that double-set of sheets idea (make the bed with waterproof pad and fitted sheet, then have a another waterproof pad with a fitted sheet.)

My son is almost 6 and a very heavy sleeper. As he has gotten older, he had fewer accidents, but still has them on occassion. But over time, there have been fewer and fewer.

Dear PB,

I don't want to discourage you but my son did this for many years. On and off until he was about ten years old. It was terrible for him, but believe me a reward system is not going to help because it is something he cannot control. I tried waking him up before we went to bed, limiting his liquids, some nights he was dry some nights he wasent. We could never figure out what the cause was, but he was to the point where he was changing his own sheets. It was difficult because he wouldn't go to sleepovers. We saw doctors who prescribed some type of nasal spray and that worked on and off as well. I think he just had to grow out of it on his own. I will say he is a sound sleeper and I think that is part of the problem. We would walk him to the bathroom have him use the toilet sound asleep and put him back in bed and he would never wake. I am not sure if this is the same case for you, but I would try not to get upset with him and be supportive because I know he is not doing it on purpose. I know for my son he was very embarrased thats why I think he started taking his sheets off on his own and clean up on his own. I used to buy plastic matress covers and have him sleep on top of waterproof mats this way I could just change him and take the mat away rather then have to do sheets in the middle of the night. I hope this helps. By the way he is going to be twenty four in February and is a perfectly wonderful man. Good luck!!

Our almost 5-year-old is wet almost every night (though it doesn't bother him). Pediatrician said it's b/c part of brain that wakes you up just enough to know to hold the pee isn't developed yet. He said kids don't need to actually get up and pee, they just need to not be in such a deep sleep that they don't "get" the signal to hold it in. So we're just waiting in out--think my husband was the same. Good luck.