5 Yr Old Refuses to Potty Train at Night

Updated on July 23, 2010
S.B. asks from New Braunfels, TX
14 answers

My 5 yr old is fully potty trained in daytime since the age of 3, but we screwed up bad with nightime training. We had him in pull ups at that time since he wasn't physically able to hold it, but now he can - but refuses to! He stays dry all night but when he wakes up in the AM, he just decides to pee in bed instead of getting up to go to the bathroom. He was leaking out of the pull ups nightly, so we put him in underwear, hoping that he'd hate being wet and would get up to use the potty now instead of staying in his bed. Nope - he's ok with sleeping in urine. We tried bribery - no matter what we've offered him, it hasn't been worth it to him to get up. We make him wash his own sheets now, and he's even ok with that. We are planning on getting him up to pee when DH leaves for work at 5:30AM, but I know he'll be a total crank the rest of the day, so I'm not looking forward to that. Has anyone else gone through this with a lazy kid, and have any advice?

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S.G.

answers from Corpus Christi on

I didn't let my child drink anything past dinner time. Bedtime was 7:30, after reading his bedtime story, I would allow him a few small drinks of water to wet his palate. Good Luck!

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

Sorry but I have to say that your son is NOT lazy!! Talk to your Pediatrician - This is not something Wrong with your son - MANY CHILDREN especially Boys take longer to be "night trained". I have 2 daughters (8 & 6) who are not trained at night and due to their bodies not ready for it and family history I am not worried. My father is also a pediatrician and I was so worried but he explained that is in NOT that they are lazy it is their bodies are not developed yet. PLEASE don't make this a battle and a problem.

As I Re-Read this - it could also be that your son is not Fully Awake when you think he is. Sounds like his sleep cycle and his body - talk to the pedi

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Night-time dryness... is something that is not attained, biologically, until even 7 years old.
It has nothing to do with daytime pottying.
It is different.

It is a biological maturity of the body.
Don't force it.
Scolding won't work either.
Waking him will just make him have lack of sleep and be fussy... and the he will be scolded for that too. But it is not his fault nor is he doing it on purpose....

My daughter, is 7... and occasionally, she will still have accidents at night. No biggie. I just use a waterproof bed pad directly under her when she sleeps. She even had a dream once that she WAS on the toilet, until she felt herself wet.

Boys, are often later, in attaining night-time dryness.
My Husband was.

It is not him being lazy. It is a biological based development...

Pull-ups are useless at night... it does not hold much AND it leaks. For night time, Huggies night time diapers are far more efficient.

He is being sabotaged... and his body is not yet able to be dry at night... and it also has to do with the bladder/brain/nerve connections.

Put it this way, my Daughter's Kindergarten Teacher said that this is NORMAL... and that kids this age and even in 1st grade have night accidents... and wear diapers at night. But the parents will not admit this.
But it is normal. Our Pediatrician said the same thing.

all the best,
Susan

2 moms found this helpful

B.A.

answers from Austin on

Here are some suggestions from a child therapist and her full posting and other potty training suggestions can be found at the link below. Good luck!
http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2009/09/22/...
There will be a stage that your little one does great, followed by a time where he won’t sit on the toilet even with your best bribe. Remember that coercing a toddler to do something they don’t want to do (including potty training) results in a power-struggle, and this is one struggle I do not recommend entering. Research shows that a coercive approach over a laize-fairre approach does not speed up the process of potty training. A child with the most defiant attitude towards toilet training can literally change his mind in a day. Be sure not to make potty training an issue of your child being told they are a “good” or “bad girl.” These words can cause a regression in using the potty from feeling like they disappointed mom or dad, which causes a loss of self-esteem.

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C.C.

answers from Fresno on

Like a few other moms already said, he may not be awake when he is doing this. It is very, very common for kids this age to still be wetting the bed and it has NOTHING to do with their desire to stay dry. It happens for biological reasons. Please ask your doctor about this, s/he will assure you that this is true.

My husband recalls wetting the bed until he was 8, and how agonizing it was. He didn't want to wet the bed, but he slept so soundly and would wake up in the morning in a wet, cold bed. Our older daughter wet the bed until she was almost 5 (and again, she was mortified about having to wear night time diapers, even though we assured her it was not her fault). Many times it's hereditary, though not always.

Anyhow, I would not scold your son about this. Put him in night time diapers or pull-ups, put a waterproof pad underneath him in the bed, and leave him alone. He will grow out of it when he is physically able to do so.

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M.S.

answers from Columbus on

Ok, first of all, are you sure he's "going" in his pull-up when he's awake and just laying there in bed? If that's the case, then some sort of discipline is needed. My daughter did that. She wears pull-ups and would sit there on the couch, in her pull-ups (cuz she got ready for bed before we started our movie) and I'd smell pee. Sure enough, she peed in them, cuz she didn't want to get up and go to the bathroom! Tell him if he wakes up, then pees in his pull-up when he's awake, you'll put him to bed earlier that night. Maybe that will make him want to use the toilet.
However, I have to say my peace, here , just in case he's actually peeing in his sleep before he wakes. My boys were potty trained before the age of 3. My daughter was 31/2. They all wore pull-ups until at least age 8. They are super, duper heavy sleepers and could not wake to use the toilet. We tried limiting drinks, waking them at night, etc. and it didn't make a difference. We tested my oldest for physical issues and nothing. It just takes some kids a lot longer to stay dry at night. We finally used the nighttime wetness alarm. It worked for one, but not the other two. They ended up just growing out of it and the dryness became more frequent. The other thing is that the other night, my daughter was sleeping on our floor (a whole other issue) and I got up at 4:30 am to go to the bathroom, myself. I got her up to go, since I was up. She was dry at 4:30, but wet by the time she woke at 7. So, she had made it almost all night. Like I mentioned, if you know for a fact that he's awake when he pees in them, then he needs to stop - I get that. But, if he's trained in the day and still wetting at night, maybe even later - closer to wake time, then he can't help it. If he can't help it, then the washing of the sheets and such can be detrimental to the process. I apologize if I'm giving this little schpeel and it is in fact, his unwillingness to use the bathroom while awake. This is a subject that is close to my heart, with all my kids having gone through it. Good luck to you!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

get him up a 1/2 hour before he usually gets up and make him use the potty

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K.L.

answers from Houston on

I have read some great responses already so I will just tell you our story. I have 4 and 7 year old boys. My 7 year old still wears a pull up at night. And he sometimes pees so much that it leaks out. When he was smaller I went through what you are going through. I thought he was just being lazy, that I just needed to properly motivate him. After doing some researching and talking to multiple pediatricians I came to understand what was really going on. My son sleeps like the dead at night. So much so that we CAN'T wake him up. His body has not developed the hormone that keeps his bladder from contracting while he is asleep yet. He will eventually. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I had tried everything you tried to no avail. I have backed off completely and we do have to wash sheets periodically. To keep him from peeing so much it leaks out of the pull up, we limit his liquid intake a couple hours before bed. This seems to help a lot. Really, I don't believe anymore that these children are lazy, I really believe it is a hormone thing. On the flip side when my 4 year old was 2 and potty trained during the day we had him wearing pull ups at night still. After a week of being dry I told him he didn't have to wear a pull up at night anymore. His then 5 year old brother was upset by this but we didn't make a big deal out of it, we just told him his body wasn't ready yet and it doesn't seem to be an issue anymore. Good luck and do your own research.

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S.M.

answers from Houston on

It could be a medical problem. Bed wetting is common in children. Before you go another futher have him checked out. Dont think he can help it because he might not can. My daughter who was potty trained for about a year all of a sudden started wetting her panites. I am so glad I never got on to her because she had an over active bladder. Please have your son checked.

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P.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi S.-
I have a son who is 4yrs old and he has been potty trained since he was 2.5 yrs old. Before he goes to bed he uses the bathroom even though he still wears a pull up. There were many nights where I would hear him in his room going in his drawer to change his pull up when he peed in it and got pee all over his pj pants. Now, he wakes himself and goes to the bathroom on his own. I leave his night light on in his room and he gets up and goes... When I hear his feet on the floor walking to the bathroom and turns on the light he makes me so proud because I know he's trying not to wet himself. He still wears Night time pull up's. I told him that he is a BIG BOY now and BIG BOYS don't pee on themselves...and he just looks at me and tells me " Mommy I'm a BIG BOY" and i tell him "YES U R" so don't pee yourself! :)

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G.G.

answers from Austin on

HA! I'm so glad to have read your post. I'm only laughing because I have felt so alone, going through this exact same thing! I've decided to just let it go and let him feel in control. I'm hoping he'll be potty trained overnight before he turns 10!!! LOL! Our pedi says not to worry about it until he turns 8. That's going to be a fortune in pull-ups, geez! Try ignoring it and continue letting him wash sheets. Wish I had better advice but just want you to know you are NOT alone! :) We do take him to potty before we go to bed, but he still can't quite make it. Maybe if we'd not allow any fluids after 6 pm....but he's a thirsty kid.

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L.L.

answers from College Station on

Try waking him up at 11 p.m. and put him on the toilet. He may be able to get through the rest of the night without having to go.

L.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

All of my kids started staying dry at night as soon as they were potty trained in the day. Lucky for me because I have heard lots of stories of kids being much older. It is not uncommon!! I think I have the laziest kid in the state and his muscles started working right away. Maybe your son is not fully awake. Some kids just sleep harder then others. Making him feel bad about the problem is just going to prolong it. All you can do is make sure he goes to the bathroom before he goes to bed and the rest is up to his body. His muscles have to learn to contract on his bladder. Be sure to praise the fact that he does stay dry in the day and tries his best to stay dry at night. My friend had a son who could not stay dry at night until he was 13. She had him to every specialist around and they all said that it will happen when his body is ready. I have heard that a chiropractor might possibly be able to help, though.

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M.V.

answers from Houston on

How do you know he is holding it all night and peeing before he wakws up? How do you know he is dry all night? Just curious...

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