Needing Advice - Columbus,OH

D.,
Breathe....
I am a twin. My mom had a 22-month old when we were born. Yes, three babies under two!! She was only 22 years old, my dad had just lost his job, they moved out of state, and they had NOTHING! 28 years later, I am here to tell about it. Times were different, then, yes, but times are better now.
You will "make it" because your motherly instinct will go into full gear. You will probably realize they are your biggest blessing (besides your 3-year old.) Ask for help, look for help, make friends, and pray. You will be fine. It might not be easy, but anything worth living for, deserves a fight!
Celebrate this amazing miracle!
G.

1 mom found this helpful

D.,
What a special blessing for you. I am sure you have a good reason for not telling hubby, but it won't be long and something is going to tell on you.
As far as not having things ready, well that is usually the case when you have such an event as twins. I am sure that you will find that some people will be happy to help you out.
Sometines second hand stores has those things your looking for. Once you can let the cat out of the bag about your condition. That will open up door for more people to help you find the items your looking for.
A co-worker daughter is having a baby in September. She has nothing at all. She doesn't have a job. I have been able to help get her some items by tellling other people about her story. She has almost eveything she needs now. It just took a couple of weeks and networking for friends and other co-workers.
You will be surprised at how helpful other people can be when it comes to having a new baby or babies around.
Good luck to you and your family.

Hi D. My Name is B. sounds like you are going to have your hands full I Drive School Bus for the handicap and i also work at home I have some info that might solve a couple of your problems get in touch with me for some info ###-###-#### or by e-mail ____@____.com

it sounds like you are very scared. I think you need to tell your husband because he can support you and help you make it through the next few months.

There is some group called the Mother's of Twins Club. i used to babysit for a few people in this group. You could probably find it online and they would be a terrific resource for you.

there are also all sorts of people who like to donate things to people in need - like you :)

Good luch and don't fret too much, you'll be okay..

B. gersper

hi I am a mom of twins they are 4 1/2 now and when they were born My daughter Haley had something called Breathing Apnea where she would forget to breath and At birth they seperated them My pedi and I demanded them to co bed them and when they did Haley stopped her attacks .... I had them in the same bed until they were 11 months .. They are wonderful .. Just a bit of advice. They want to keep them at the hospital on a 1hour apart feeding schedule put them together you as mom will get more sleep ...

D.,
First, Breathe! I also have twins, and since my oldest daughter was not even two at the time when I found out, I can understand how it can feel overwhelming! If you are concerned about the things you will need for them, I still have the baby carseats from when mine were babies(they are two now), and you may have them if you want them. as far as the cribs, Toys'r'us has some nice inexpensive cribs for about $100 each, that convert into toddler beds. My twins have these beds and they are very nice. for a double stroller, I would really suggest going to Children's Orchard in Hudson. It is a used kids' stuff shop, that has everything but carseats, and they have double strollers sometimes, for very reasonable prices, not to mention they have quarterly "fill-a-bag" sales, where you can fill a bag with as many clothes as you can for $6. If you are interested in more information, send me a message and I will give you directions, etc.
For formula (unless you are planning to nurse) you can tell your Dr.'s office that you would like to receive samples of a particular formula. Or, they can contact the representative for a particular brand and notify them that you are having twins. I used Enfamil, and the dr's office got me a free case of formula for each baby! That was great. I mean, it doesnt last long, but it was a great relief to have it. If you need or want to know anything, just send me a message. I hope this puts your mind at ease. Just remember, it might seem overwhelming, but these babies are a miracle in themselves, and as long as you are careful, and take it easy, you should be ok. So tell the father, so that you both can share in the concern and the happiness. You should not go through this time alone. P.

Baby showers are for getting gifts to help with the babies. You are sooo lucky. Twins are awesome. If money is a problem, try one of those stores where people trade stuff in.

A friend of mine was in the exact same position. She had a baby shower since her first was a girl, almost 3 and the twins were boys. it was helpful and you should definetly consider that. She's also a member of a church, and the members took turns being there to help her out the first month or so as she adjusted. Her husband took offa couple of weeks to help as well. She was even able to breastfeed and still does (they are now 9 months old). She did quit her job as it cost more to pay for childcare for 3 than was worth her working.

I know she also found some websites, probably can do general search on google.com and find lots of great advice and support.

Good luck to you,
M.

D.,

Depending on where you live, there are things you can do. There are a lot of mom's groups and twins/multiple groups that are doing sales. Generally you can pick up things fairly reasonable. There are websites that can help you find some in your area. I know Cincinnati, Ohio, there are 3 sales just in the next 4 weeks, 2 of them are multiples sales. This should help on the budget. Also, some things about multiples, is you may be able to hold off on the 2nd crib, til the start rolling around.

Hope that helps.
T.

Hi D.,
I know what your going through. I have a son that will be 4 in March and i have 8 month old identical twin girls. So I know how you feel. And what a shock it was when they told you at your doctors appt. My first reaction was "Holy s--t!" The whole office heard me. I was in denial for days. How could this happen to me. I can't handle this. But you will and you will be just fine.

As for the car seats, stroller, cribs. You have plenty of time. Don't worry about the material things right now. Consentrate on you, your babies and your son. And my personal opinion is tell the babies Dad. You NEED his support right now. You need to go through this together. And the worst thing you can do is think negativly that something is going to go wrong. (I did the same thing) But I now have 2 beautiful baby girls.

If you have any questions please e-mail me I would be more than happy to answer anything. Trust me I've been through it all. Good luck and everything will be ok. It will all work out. Just breath....

First, take a deep breath. I'm going to assume the dad already knows your pregnant just not with twins. I would suggest the first thing you do it tell him. Not sure if you are worried of miscarriage because there is already problems with the pregnacy or just because they are twins. Make sure your OB is familiar with twin (multiple pregnancies) and if he/she is not, ask for a referral to a perinatologist.

What you will need right away:
2 car seats
Double Stroller
A place for them to sleep
Diapers/Diaper Pail
Clothes

What you might like to have:
Swing
Bouncey Seat
Toys

You can probably get away with one crib to start, but as they grow they will definitely need their own space. I would buy one swing and one bouncy seat to start--you never know if they will like it or not. I got lucky--one liked the swing, the other the bouncy chair. Also, when they get bigger and it's time for high chairs, I HIGHLY reccomend the booseter seat from First Years. It attaches to your kitchen chair and has 3 reclining postitions. My kids are now 4 years old and we still use them. Best $$$ I have spent on them yet.

I still have my double stroller, 2 crib mattresses, crib bedding, crib mattresses, 2 pack and plays if you are interested. We were going to sell them in a garage sale this spring. Please feel free to email me.

Congratulations!
M.
mom to WIlliam and Emily
4 years old

I know it can be overwhelming. Take a deep breath. All will be well. Although I don't have twins myself, my sister does. I was there when she found out there were two babies, I was there when they were born. I moved in with her to help care for them because her husband couldn't take off work to help with the kids. They too, had an almost three year old. Take one day at a time, one task at a time. First, tell their dad. I hope you'll be pleasantly surprised by his positive, helpful attitude. Remember how you're feeling now, and don't despise him if he is taken back a bit. It will be a big adjustment but twins can be great fun. They will be born healthy - just take care of yourself. I don't know if you belong to a church or have close friends and/or family who have had babies, but I've learned that people in general have a generous spirit and are usually looking to get rid of baby stuff. We can't hold onto it forever, but it's too precious to dump at a thrift store. Everything will come together. Stay healthy. Keep your doctor appointments. Take care of you and your babies and family will be fine. One day at a time. AND: another helpful tip-when people call to help with babies, it might be a good idea to ask if they'll take the older child out instead. Give him/her some quality one on one time without the babies.

if your a member of a church they might help.....people tend to be more willing to lend a hand with big items like those if your having mulitples....maybe once you tell you husband and the word gets out his work will give him a Daddy shower.....
I understand this might be my 3rd child but i had to get rid of everything when out family moved here in Sept from Cailfornia....and how I'm also preggers and due in July. SO I wish you tons of Luck.....check the hosptial they might have some resorces you can look into like mulitples groups or something...

I am not exactly sure which part of that you need advice on, but if you are looking for baby stuff try checking your local Preschool PTA's. Ours in Avon Lake will be having a Spring Kids Kloset which is like a huge garage sale of baby items. Good Luck.

Hi I Have Almost Two Year Old Twins I Know That Its Hard To Tell The Father When You Don't Know How He'll Take The News But The Sooner You Tell Him Is Best And Buying Stuff For Twins Gets Expensive But yard Sales And Connsinment Shops Are The Best Places To Get Stuff The Only Thing You Have To Worry About Getting Two Of At First Is Car Seats My Twins Shared The Same Crib For Awhile Bouncy seats And Swings Just Get One Of Each Don't Think About Getting Two Of Everything Right Away Because Somethings There Not Going To Use For Awhile I Know This Probably Doesn't Help Much But Take It One Day At A Time Just Focus On Whats Important Your Health And Your Babies

Congratulations! I have seven year old boy/girl twins and I know that finding out you are expecting twins can be very overwhelming. A good local resource is the Northeastern Mother of Twins club (NEMOTC). There are also mother of twin clubs in Cincinnati. They provide support to mothers expecting twins and those who already have twins. They have great sales in the Spring and Fall where you can get great deals on clothing, equipment, toys, etc. The NEMOTC sale is happening on March 3 at Loveland Middle school. It is open to the public from 8:30-11:30 for a $1 door charge. Good luck, having twins is a great experience!

I don't know whether this is very helpful or not, but my mom experienced a similar situation when she found out she was pregnant with my brother and I. My older brother is 3 years older than us and my parents didn't have any money...so my advice is to do just what they did. Live each day one day at a time...do you have anyone that would throw you a shower?? You are having 2 babies...that's worth a shower. Look at second hand stores for extra stuff...you'll be fine.

I know that this is vague, but I'm not sure if you're looking for anything more than encouragement. You can do this...tell your husband...celebrate the fact that you are able to bring life into this world...there are many women out there who aren't able to do that and would give their left arm to be able to...I know that it's a hard position to be in, but know that everything in life happens for a reason and the challenges that we face in life make us stronger. Best wishes!!

You've gotten all good advice! I would start w/garage sales. That's where you'd probly find car seats. Good will and consignment shops won't take them. YOu can probly find alot of things you need at garage sales. Are there any consignment shops by you? We just had one open and she had high chairs, strollers, changing tables etc... The suggestion to check your pta was a good one too. Here in Solon our schools have a budget bin where the community can go to sell their slighty used clothing, toys, baby things, whatever. I just had a baby. My youngest had just turne 10! Yep, 10! I didn't have ANYTHING! We didn't have the consignment shop here yet so I found all my stuff at garage sales and hand me downs from any friends or relatives w/little ones.

Good luck!

S.

Well, traditionally women only have baby showers for thier first born and I think that is silly. I think we should have a shower with each baby. My suggestion is to have a baby shower, either throw one yourself or have a friend or family member plan one. Also, local churches sometimes have furniture that people donate to them and then they give away, my church calls it a Furniture Ministry, there might be a church in your area who does that. I also see that you recently quit your job, the State of Ohio has a car seat program for children, if you do not have a seat or if your seat has been in a car accident they will give you one, but the babies must be born first. You can find out about it through your local WIC office.
Enjoy your babies!

You should have plenty to do now. I hope everything goes alright but just take care of yourself. How neat! I bet your 3 year old will be a big help too if you let him. Will make him feel special at the same time.
Look in the paper for garage sales or go to the goodwill place. I always thought that was for poor people but I tell ya what, they have some nice things. My girlfriend goes there once a week just to find something "different." Word of mouth will also usually bring someone to you willing to give up a car seat, crib or something they no longer need. Good luck

i have a bunch of baby boy clothes 0-12 months if u need them im having a girl so i do not need them i live in columbus not sure where u live but i would like to get rid of these they are taking up space and i cant do anything with them so let me know if your interested u can pick them up if u want to i have 2 or 3 boxes right now they are summer and winter clothes

An awesome site that I use is www.freecycle.org. It's a site where people get rid of stuff by giving it to those who want it instead of putting it in the garbage. I've gotten tons of toys for my son, and a baby swing for my sister.....all for free! You register with your zip code so that you are dealing with people who are giving things away in your area. You can post 'Wanted' posts as well. Also try places like "Once Upon a Child' for baby stuff. Someone will probably throw you a baby shower and you would get new stuff. Good luck!

Just a little advice from an identical twin, you'll only really need 1 crib for a few months, they'll sleep better together, just get 2 positioners and they'll be great. It's a mediaclly proven fact that keeping twins together helps them thrive. Other than that, have a shower, each baby deserves to be clelbrated not just the first one, I threw one for my sister and called it a "baby brunch", same thing as a shower though.

D.: TELL HIM!!!! Regardless of whether you are married, together, or not together, you need to tell him to take some of the stress off yourself. This pregnancy will be at enough risk being a multiple pregnancy, don't stress yourself out!!! If you were to miscarry, he would (hopefully) be there to help you through it. I'm not gonna say tell him because he deserves to know, because you have plenty of time to tell him, but I think the sooner the better for YOUR sake and the sake of the babies. You can't bring any good to anyone by worrying......"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:33-34.

Feel free to email me!!!

I'm not sure where you live... in Akron there are groups (APS is one of them) that you can go to help you out. You attend classes (day or evening) and get tickets, the tickets can be used to "buy" new items from the nursery. Some of the items are cribs, car seats, bedding, cloths, toys, and books. They also offer a started kit if you call right before your due date... it comes with a few diaper, bottles, blankets, clothes, and some other stuff (they have a Summer/Spring and a Fall/Winter basket). You can also get used maturnity clothes and baby cloths there. They do offer other services too.

I haven't been able to go to any of the classes, but they did my test for me and did an ultra sound for my sister. We are both going to get a basket (sister is due inJuly and I'm due in June). I hope this will help you or someone close to Akron. I know Barberton has a service also, I'm not sure but I would hope all cities would have something like this.

Take care and good luck. Don't do it all by yourself - let the daddy know too... you both should enjoy the time. You will be showing soon and won't be able to hide it.

So you know I currently have 3 kids (12-G, 3-G in March and 2-B in June), so I will have 3 little ones 3 and under too... just did mine one at a time.

Are you afraid that he will hit you? You seem scared. I know that the first thing that you should do is tell the father if your not afraid of him, because you need his support, and his help. You should go to Once Upon a Child, they have great deals on everything. You also need to get to a W.I.C. office because they can help with alot of things including food for yourself and your oldest, even formula when the twins are born. God Bless and good luck.