Need Some Advice About Vacationing with Kids

it would help if you told us WHERE you live. I've lived in Europe.

1. Does EVERYONE want to come "home" to the US?
a. do the kids WANT to be involved in these day camps?
b. family of six isn't cheap to fly. There are deals. Can you afford it?
c. why not fly your mom and dad to YOU?

2. I loved being able to travel so easily while I lived in Europe. When I lived in Belgium? We would drive to Paris for the day. It was that close. We took weekend trips around Europe - Luxembourg, Lichtenstein, Austria, Switzerland, etc.

it sounds like you have NOT discussed this as a family to find out what they want to do. It's a shame you didn't do this earlier when you would have been able to save a ton of money on airfare. Now that it's peak travel season, you'll end up paying through the nose for airfare.

How LONG do you plan on living abroad?

Yes. you do have ants in your pants. You haven't had any down time. Have you joined ANY travel clubs? In Germany, there was a Volksmarching club - I got to see more of Europe at a cheaper price and see things tourists wouldn't normally see.

Do you have ANY friends where you live? Can't you plan a girls day with them??

I have more questions than answers. Sorry.

I get you want to get out and escape your routine for awhile but it doesn't sound like major trips anywhere are going to be affordable enough for you to really enjoy yourself.
There must be some options close by to where you are.
Or - you get a baby sitter for the kids and you take a retreat for a weekend to recharge your batteries.
Your husband is right - traveling with lots of small kids is twice (maybe 3 times) the work for the adults, the kids don't remember it, and you're going to go home more tired than when you left.

It is probably much too late to register your kids for any sort of camps this summer, so I wouldn't count on that option. Are you planning on living in the country you are in long term or is it a short term posting? I would take advantage of your current location and explore close to your current home. I find "staycations" to be the best with young kids. Within a 2-3 hour drive. Why waste a lot of money on things and places the kids are too young to appreciate or remember?

It doesn't sound like traveling home and staying with your parents would be that relaxing. And it sounds to me like you need a break.

For us, going home, is too much for my relatives to handle all of us in their homes. It's a lot to expect of people as you say. Especially older people. I get it. So we stay in hotels. We have a point program so we can do this. However, it's not that relaxing. The kids love it - but me sleeping in a hotel room for days with kids, not so much.

Kids going to camps with kids they don't know .. some would be ok, some not. They may feel uncomfortable in their new surroundings and just want to be close.

My favorite two trips with small kids have been:

- Staycations - where you go to places you haven't seen, day trips. Could you do that? Make a list (each person gets to pick a place), pack up a for a small trip/food/beach stuff - and go. We are doing that this summer. The kids are super excited - some with friends.

- Road trips - we packed up the car and hit cities and towns where we stayed one night with family and friends. Saw sights, went to the beach, brought our own sleeping bags and mats so not to inconvenience people, treated families out for a main meal so we weren't imposing. It was really fun, the kids loved it. I actually found it relaxing oddly enough.

I also like the idea of you getting away with your husband for a weekend. Maybe that's what you need and some day trips - if you can manage it :)

Have everyone put together a list of places they want to go and then figure it out from there. Personally I loved day trips when the kids were little. They got a variety of things to do but slept home every night. We;d also check into hotels for a day or two and spent every single hour available at the pool. Pitch a tent in the backyard and go camping. You can even combine things like go to the beach and then make stepping stones or decorate picture frames with the shells you collect.

Good morning! I lived overseas at the age of your kids. My brother started school there and I was in the 4th grade. We lived in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. We came home every summer (summer in the US not Brazil which would be winter) anyway....

My dad had 6 weeks so my parents would take about 2 weeks out and we would travel in South and Central America before coming back to the States. I have been to just about every country in South American and several in Central. I enjoyed those but the best was the US. Why? I loved hearing English, watching TV in English, drinking milk and being able to drink water out of the hose. I loved seeing my extended family and spending time out in the country. However, after 4 weeks of the "love fest" I was ready to back home.

I so appreciate my parents giving us that experience. I saw things that shaped who I am today. I think that is why I feel such a responsibility as an American citizen. I never take what I have for granted!

Talk to the family and see what they think. I'm curious, where are y'all living??

Are you open to cruises? Young children have a lot of fun on cruises as they have their own program so that the parents can do their own thing. Based on everything you shared, that's where my vote lies. Otherwise, traveling within your country should work well.

I have taken my kids on international travel and it's amazing. But I lived overseas before too and coming to the states was better than anything. You have to do what's best for your family though. Coming home would be great and so would visiting new places.

I'll admit that it's been YEARS since I've been in Switzerland but when I went, I was a poor college kid. I toured Europe by train and found that I could still see it all but I had to take shortcuts. There are hostels everywhere that are reasonably priced. You might see the Alps by taking the train around them. Lunch might be a blanket spread by a lake with food bought in an outdoor market. I'd vote for Switzerland!!! Go and enjoy!!! Just research ways to save before you go so you're prepared!!
I wanted to add that if this is too much craziness for this stage in your life, how about getting a vacation rental so you have a home base and take day trips from there??

My kids are not good travelers, so we don't do big trip vacations. If I was in your position it would have to be #2 because of that. We make day trips and shorter 2 to 4 day stays within our state. It isn't a bad thing, there is still so much we haven't yet explored. I've lived here my entire life and haven't run out of things to do and new things to find.

I have to agree with Wild Woman on this one. You could check out some of the history of the area or region you are in in Europe.

I spent eight years in Germany and sent my kids to tours and trips in surrounding countries (Belgium, Luxembourg, France, Austria and Berlin (with wall up and down) and throughout Germany. My daughter says if she sees another castle she will scream but they were part of the scenery in the area. They now appreciate the tour of Anne Frank's house which they didn't younger.

The point is, you have to make the best out of lemons where you are. Have you made any friends where you live? Have you joined any book or cooking groups locally for you?

Since you state that coming home with all six of you is h*** o* the family back home, it might be nice to have mom and dad come to you providing they do have current passports in order. We came home for Christmas the year of Lockerbie by six days. That was a brutal interrogation in the airport with German and American police and dogs. Anyway, you have to do what is best for your whole family and your financial pocketbook. Do you have someone who would/will watch the kids for a weekend that you trust? Then you two go away for the weekend. The kids will have fun at so and so's house while you are gone and recharging your batteries.

I would personally look for something where I am than to come home because you know what home is about. But remember things do change while you are gone from home so it is will be different as well.

the other S.

i find that vacations wear me out and when i get home i am ready to hire a sitter so i can go to the spa to recover from the vacation.
i agree with the poster that suggested a cruise or even a family resort vacation so you can have the kids doing stuff and you can be off doing something else. (or skip a vacation and take a day long trip to a spa and have yourself pampered.)

Four kids and living overseas. Bless your heart. I had two and always went home in the summer. My kids needed and wanted the American experience. It was important to them and I needed to give it to them.

Their first stay away camps were "starter" camps, for 1 week. The next year they attended the 3 week regular version. I also put them in a YMCA day program for a few weeks because they had a water program there.

I also expected them to do summer bridge work so that they wouldn't get behind in school.

Unlike your first grader, my kids didn't have academic issues during our time overseas. Honestly, I think that's what you need to work on. Your daughter needs to mature this summer and to be honest, I think you need to get some help for her in this, rather than spending the money on flights to the US or a trip to Switzerland.

Ask your expat friends (facebook? email lists from expat clubs, etc) if they know of a tutor in your area during the summer who has experience with your daughter's grade level, perhaps someone who has been an elementary teacher prior to coming abroad. Sure, you need some vacation time, but do it in your own country where you can ride the train. A beach or lake would be good - it's a much cheaper change of scenery.

Your daughter needs reading, math, and writing this summer. Let her pick out books she likes - fun stuff. Give her rewards for books she has read (US libraries have reading programs like this.) You list the names of the books so that it's there for her to be proud of. 10 books equals, say, an ice cream cone, at 30 books whatever thing you know she likes a lot that you want to give her. Then for the next 10 and 30 books, the books need to be a little harder and a little thicker books. (Not too hard, by the way, but the next groupings can't be too simple or short.)

Play card games with her. Use a regular deck of playing cards and mix them up, lay them in rows horizontally and vertically, and make a game between you and her turning them over in pairs, looking at them, and turning them back over (start with like 20 cards, making sure that you have put together 10 pairs of cards). Keep turning them over in turn to look for pairs. It tests her memory as to where the cards are. You remember that you've seen the card before, and hope she will remember where she saw it. Make the pair, you keep the cards. Whoever ends up with the most pairs wins.

Find some easy mazes online. Teach her how to go through the mazes with her pencil. Have her make up stories and write them down with her. You can script while she tells. Just write action words and nouns as she tells the short story. Then get her to "help you" fill in the story. When she writes them with you, put her on the computer with very large font and let her type it. Help her edit a little. Help her find clip art and put a picture on her story.

You can also write story lines on construction paper and lay them side-by-side on the floor. That's different than "regular writing" and kind of exciting for the child. You can staple them together when she's done.

There are computer math games that are fun, and teach concepts. What you do want to make sure is that you do INCLUDE math on paper. She'll have to do that in school and you don't want to just let her have math fun on the computer because school won't let her do that.

Spend 2 hours every morning on fun academic work. That earns "x" privilege. For the younger kids, have them do art projects, read them books, work at the same time your daugher does.

It's an important summer, mom. Your daughter will need to step up to the plate for school in second grade. It's her pivotable year because 3rd grade will be HARD. You've got one school year for her to get to where she needs to be.

If you don't have help in the house, please get it. Having someone to support you with the home and children is so important in a foreign country. Of all people, I know there are stressors that you go through that those who haven't experienced it before don't go through, and you need time 'out and about' with other expat ladies to help you find some joy in where you call your temporary home.

As far as your parents are concerned, could they come visit you? As long as you continue having a schedule in your home for the children, it should help your parents. They can retreat into their room when they are a little overwhelmed. If they do come, make sure to have a babysitter watch the kids so that you can take them around and give them plenty of attention that you couldn't give them if you had 4 kids in tow.

I wish you all the best this summer. (Hopefully next summer a real vacation will work out better...)