Need Information About Bed-wetting

Hi E.,

First, let me say that you are not alone! There are SO many children out there (teens and adults too) that wet the bed. It's one of those topics that people do not discuss very much with others, but once you do start talking, it's amazing how many people are dealing with this very issue. Wetting the bed is caused by a genetic deep sleep disorder. My daughter wet the bed until she was 8 years old, when she finally grew out of it. My son, who is 10, did not grow out of it like his sister. In fact, when he was 8, he started having trouble focusing on his work at school, and we noticed the same focusing issues during sports, as well. We had all kinds of testing done, and the diagnosis was that he was borderline ADD. I wasn't totally convinced that was what the problem was, so I did some research and discovered that the deep sleep disorder, which causes bed wetting (among other things), is an oxygen deprived level of sleep. It often mimics ADD or ADHD. We are now participating in an Enurises Treatment Program which will stop the bed wetting, and also re-program the sleep cycle to normal. I have to let you know that it is expensive, and it will take you and your husband's, as well as your son's effort to see it through. We having been doing this for about 4 months, and my son has not wet the bed in several weeks. We are re-programing his sleep cycle now, so hopefully we will see a change in his ability to focus and concentrate very soon. I would definitely encourage you to check out the following website. www.nobedwetting.com There is a lot to read, and videos to watch. You can also give them a call, and they will be happy to give you any information you need. Good luck! L.

1 mom found this helpful

You say you've tried everything SHORT of a sheet with an alarm. That's what finally worked for us. We explained to our 6-year-old daughter that she can't control her brain while it's asleep, that we just have to get her sleeping brain to pay attention to the signal from her body that she has to pee. We explained that the alarm can help her brain connect the feeling with the need to wake her up. It took about 4 days on the alarm, that was it. She too had a younger sibling who was already completely potty-trained, day and night.

Just want to support and encourage you in not making your son feel bad about night wetting. Good for you! When he worries point out to him that he's able to get to the toilet during the day so he _is_ doing it for himself and let him know he probably sleeps more soundly than some and it will come in time - just as you've said.

Even at five he _might_ be able to try some self-conditioning. If you think it can be done in a positive way at bedtime you could ask him to tell his brain to wake him up in time if he has to use the bathroom.

We just went through the same thing. Our 5 1/2 yr old urinated so much at night that a pull up didn't work - he had to be in a diaper. We visited our pediatrician who said this is very common - and he had previously consulted with a urologist who recommended a bed wetting alarm system. We were skeptical but went ahead and purchased this one http://www.bedwettingstore.com/kits/rodger_kit.htm . We started using it around the 2nd week of January of this year and he now has and accident about once every 2 weeks (and only a partial accident at that). It really did/does work. Waking your child up will help him not urinate at night, but it doesn't "train his brain". Anyway - best of luck to you!

Oh my gosh we went through the same thing with my 5 year old son. Just in the last month we have been making progress. We did all the same things it sounds like you have already done like limiting fluids, pee before bed, wake him up to go before we go to bed, then set an alarm for him to wake himself up and go. The alarm has helped tremendously. I think for him it gives him a sense of independence because he has an alarm clock like a mommy and daddy. Anyway prior to starting to wean him from the pull ups, we asked his pedi and she told us that somewhere around 30 percent of boys will take until they are 6 or 7 til they wake up dry and that it just depends on the child. Another thing we use in our house is "earning marbles" and when we started to see a little progress with the waking up dry bit we started letting him put 2 marbles in his jar. This was motivation to try to not wet the bed. We made sure though to not make a big deal if he didn't wake up dry and he earned his marbles other ways. When the marble jar was full he get to chose a place to go or pick out something he has been wanting. Well I just wanted to share because we were going through the same thing and I feel for you, I really do!!! I wish you luck.

Wow, I don't even consider it "bed-wetting". My daughter is 5.5 and was potty trained at 3 during the day but she has never been out of pull ups at night. It is totally normal. Our ped says that it is not something you can train it is a physical development that only comes with age. My friends son was in them until he was 5.5. When they start keeping the pull ups dry for a couple of weeks you can switch them into underwear. I'm not sure what the big deal is, unless it is a matter of money on the pull-ups which I understand but there is no way around that just like having to buy diapers for a baby. I think you have already proven the truth of this answer yourself by having tried everything and nothing works. I say relax, put him in his pull up and jammies!

I wouldn't worry about him. Continue to let him use the pull ups. Boys physiologically sometimes have a smaller bladder. This improves w/time. I realize it may be a bit inconvenient, but he'll get past it. His brother may be just at a different stage. He may revert back sometime too. Hopefully not. Good luck! Take care of you too. Maybe a friend or family can help for a while.

N.
Alameda

Hi I am a mom of 4, oldest is now 12. My oldest had the same problem and the doctor was never concerned. He said we could try medication, But at 4, I did not want her to take unecessary medication. She wore pull ups at night and NEVER had any issues or accidents during the day. We also had tried evrything, and she would get upset waking up wet. So we just let her go with the pullups. Like your 2, her little sister was almost always dry with minimal potty training. We just told her that her build was more slight, and that her bladder (we compared it to a purse) just hadn't grown enough yet to keep her dry through the night. She was fine for a while, but finally when she was 7 or 8, (yes it was a long time and the doc told us it was not uncommon) She came to us very upset and concerned why was it taking so long. So we tried the medication and it worked. She was happy and I think she only was on in for 6 months or so.
She is completely fine now...I think my 4th is following the same path. But at least now I know what to do and not to stress over it. I know "they will grow out of it" is a cliche, but it just takes some a little longer. Hop ethis helps, good luck! With the new one coming you will have lots of other things to keep you mind on...Good luck with number 3, best advice, similar nap scedules and bedtimes! You will be exhausted, but it is the greatest job in the world!

It may be that his bladder has not grown in proportion with him yet. from what I understand the bladder is the last muscle to grow in children, therefore if he has grown, and his body is processing more fluid, his bladder may not be able to hold it all yet. I know alot of children who go through this after being potty trained, and it has gotten better for them in time. He also may be reacting to your situation on bedrest (i've been there myself!). Sounds to me like you are saying all the right things to him. Maybe see how he is after baby is here and you are back on your feet...if it continues maybe talk to his ped. There are some physical issues that can cause this- my son has bladder/kidney issues and has to wear pull ups all the time- however we are an extreme case and his issues have been present since birth.

My oldest son was probably 5 1/2 when he started being able to go all night but my pediatrician said there's a fair percentage of kids, especially boys, who are 7 before they can do it. Sounds like you guys are doing all the right things, just ignore it and know that it won't go on forever. Just a physical development that you, and he, can't control yet. My two cents anyway!

E.,

My 7 1/2 year old went the entire summer last year all the way through to December not wetting at night. Then in late Dec to early Jan. he stated again. My pedi said it is probably because of getting cold at night. Now that it is warming up a little bit he is wetting less at night.
Maybe over the summer he will stop.

Hi E.,
All three of our children were bedwetters. Our son who is now 11.5 has been dry for about a year now and our 8 yr. is starting to have more dry nights that wet. Yea! For our son, our Pediatrician perscribed DDAVP. It helps the bladder to stop producing an overflow of urine at night. At five our son was able to swallow pills and I don't know if there is a liquid form, but it might be worth asking about. You are right, it will pass in time. Our pediatrician explained it this way: the number of dry nights becomes longer and the wet nights become shorter until they meet in the middle and they are dry all the time!
Blessings,
T.

Hi. My son is 8 and still wets the bed. But not anymore we tried everything from a medicated nasal spray that didn't work half the time, to waking him up, no liquids etc. I finally found something that works. Go to your local health food store. Ask if they carry a product line from Hyland's. They have a bedwetting tablet that you put under the tongue and it disolves. It costs about $5 or $10. and it works. He hasn't had a wet night yet since we started him on these. Hope this helps.

I know it sounds strange but I know many moms who have completely stopped bed-wetting when they took their child to a chiropractor. A great one in Elk Grove is Dr. Steven Hansen. His website is www.elkgrovebiocranial.com and his number is ###-###-####. I trust him so much he adjusted by little boy at 3 weeks old. He is amazing!

My son had bed-wetting issues up until he was nearly 7 yrs old. Limiting the liquids and trying to wake him in the middle of the night didn't work out. I talked with his pediatrician who recommended the potty pager. It's designed to wake up your child at the first sign of wetness and remind them to use the bathroom. It worked for us. Good luck!

Hi E.,

I am a 53 year old mom of three grown sons. My youngest had the same problem. The summer before he was to start school at 6 1/2yrs old (Feb b-day) I finally let the Doctor give him a Rx it was a nasal spray I don't remember the name of it but it worked. I would speak to his Pediatrician about it and see if they can give him something. I wish I would have allowed it sooner.

R.

Maybe you should try the truth, this is not normal so HE needs to do something about it. My 26 year old wet herself on occassion until about 6 years old but mainly she didn't want to stop playing on the playground. But my 23 year old only needed me to tell her once not to wet her self at night & she never did. Communicate truthfully with him so he does not become a target of teasing at school. That could be brutal in these times.

My daughter wet the bed until she was well in elementary school and it really bothered her. It sounds as if you are doing the right things emotionally, as we did for my duaghter but what finally stopped her was a nose spray that the doctor gave her to use at nite. I can't recall the name, sorry, it was a long time ago, she is 18 now, but it exists and works. If the bed wetting continues tell your doc you want to try the nose spray for bed wetting. within a week she was dry. Good luck and hope this helps.

i dont know much but i know my brother who is 11 strugles w/ it he only grew out of it for the most part about two ago, he may have an axadent every once n a while but now he seams to go out of it, so guess so far my boys are lucky cause they seam to have ther dads geans when it comes to potty train, n my other brother who is a a year or to younger then me had some trouble for a while of his life n i was told he eventualy out greww it. but then again my boys are still n pullups (2&4)isaac needed help to potty train, but stephen did wounderfull so far, but i know it runs in my side of the family so only time will tell isupose, so say just hang inthere n continue w/ the pullups if need be that way he knows he has it as a safty net. i know it worked for micheal my brother n he for the most part has grown out of it.

It happened to my son til he was 13. Giving up liquids after a certain time is a good thing. Sometimes they have something in their mind that tells them when to go. Google might have information on bed wetting. It does come in handy. My oldest son is adhd, and he is a handful.

Dear E.!

I understand your frustration over the bedwetting issue. I have a six year old daughter who has never been close to staying dry at night - we are still struggling with daytime.
While there is some training you can do for the time the child is awake there is really nothing you can do about the sleeping hours. I read one thing that said "To hold a child responsible for getting wet while asleep is the same as holding him responsible for it raining outside." or something like that. Since the child is completely unaware of what is going on while he is sleeping I think it is better to stick to the pull-ups to save both of you the discomfort and work of wet sheets etc. Especially when it runs in the family it seems to be something to just wait out and I think you are doing the right thing in making him feel OK about himself. We have the same situation with the younger one getting potty trained quick nad easy and I think the input from us mothers to the older one is important. I hope you find some relief in this.
C.

There's really nothing you can do to change it until it happens on it's own. My daughter who was day-time potty trained at 2 years old, still peed during the night until just before she turned 5. HOWEVER, I have found that the Goodnights, even the generic brands work much better at holding in all the night-time pee than pull-ups do. Try those instead!!

My first piece of advice is to relax. He, too, will eventually be dry at night. I have a bed wetter at age 7 and he was initially upset that his sister was dry at 6 (also later than most kids). We just told him his time will come and that if he wakes up dry, we will give him a special reward for each time. He's now relaxed that he's okay and has stopped competing with his sister about it. The reward helps him to stay motivated, but we don't say anything if he is wet in the morning, except to say, "maybe tonight you will be -- keep trying." He gets a reward about once a week, but we and his pediatrician just think he still sleeps too hard too wake up when he has to go. They ALL eventually outgrow it, but on their time clock, not ours (-:!

S.

We are going through the same problems with our 4 1/2 yr old. Our pediatrician said that until it bothered him there was nothing she could do. But once it started to bother him then she would send us to a specialist in the Los Angeles area to determine what the problem is and if it can be solved by medication. Medication is of course the last resort. We have tried everything as well. So hang in there, and all I can say is thank God for Pull-ups.

Hi, I have a sister who wet the bed until 11 or 12. Their are five of us kids in the family. She was the only one to wet the bed. Sometimes what happends is the kid will grow but the bladder stays small. Take your son to the doctor to see if he might need his bladder stretched or to see if there might be some other medical problem.

My oldest had this problem as well. A doctor recommended we stop giving him milk before going to bed and it worked. I don't know if this will help your son, but it sure helped mine.

K. N.

My son is almost 7 and until two weeks ago he still used pull-ups or Goodnights. We decided not to use the pull-ups for 1 full week to see what would happened. He wet the bed for the first two nights and has been dry since. We think it has something to do with the feeling of being wet. Pull-ups & diapers are so absorbent & do a great job of pulling the moisture away from the skin that maybe wetting in the pull-up is no be deal. Maybe a little lazy or maybe phsycological, who knows, but it worked for us. Just make sure you're armed with mattress covers & a couple pairs of sheets. Good Luck.

sounds like a genetic ADH problem that you guys passed on to your older kid. Anti Diuretic Hormone stops you from making urine at night, but some people don't make enough of it and their bladder sphincters fail when they are relaxed.

Sarah Silverman is pretty famous and she likes to let people know she wet the bed until age 16.

I don't think it's a big deal, but definitely limiting beverages at night or waking up to help your child get up to empty his bladder will help.

I'm sorry that's happening, but yeah, the pull up is a good option for this sort of situation. And yeah, he will eventually out grow it unless the docs say otherwise.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you all!!!

I sympathize and have struggled with that too and have done all the things you mentioned. We actually tried the alarm on the underwear and it scared my daughter, so we didn't tried it again. One other question: does your son snore? Do you think he sleeps well? Is he tired/cranky during the day? We spoke to our pediatrician and had both my kids both tested for sleep apnea. They both have it and a side effect is bed wetting. The solution is a bit scary (remove tonsils and adnoids) which we just did on my 8 year old daughter. She has now been dry for 2 weeks and counting. Next up is my 5 year old son. Good Luck! M.

i dont know if you have looked into allergies, but my partner was a long-term bed-wetter (like into his teens) and he claims that THE DAY he stopped drinking cows milk he stopped doing that. just a thought. good luck, and patience!!