Need Help Potting Training 3 1/2 Year Old!

My daughter was hard to potty train too, but after her 4th birthday...I stared doing the "potty cow" timer, and set it for 35-45 minutes, when the ringer goes off take him to the potty and sit there for 3-4 minutes for about a week, then begin "Go for broke naked week" and just take off the diaper and either wear underwear or don't (just try not to have company for a while)...and, after 3-4 days they should just catch on...it worked for me and i still have a 2 yr. old and a 8 month to potty train. But, most importantly you should'nt worry to much about milestone's like potty training, walking, etc...all babies are different and they all develop at different times and at their on pace...
Peace, Love and Babies

I suggest putting him in big boy underwear because he knows that a pull up works like a diaper. After he soaks himself a few times, he will want to try to go potty. At least it worked for my little girl. Good luck!

I was in the same situation. Well, at least mine did go every now and then.

Well, this summer, i was determined to get him potty trained. I let him go with out a pull up. He would be totally naked. He would pee in the house. (that is the down fall to the method)
I did buy him a potty chair. I put it in the living room or even his bedroom. Where ever he played the most. I would even move it around. I would ask every now and then, if he had to go. I would get him to sit on it, too, every so often. I would read a book.

In three weeks he was pottying in the potty on a regular basis. Now, we still have accidents. But, for the most part his is potty trained. Oh, I first i would go back and forth from pull ups to underwear. I think that confused him. As soon as I put the pull up on him he would pee. So, I stopped doing that. If we went any where. I took clothes and went to the bathroom when we got there and when we left. But, I didn't do that until he was pottying good. During those 3 wks, I didn't go to many places. Or i waited for dad to get home.

good luck.

When we did the potty training thing last spring, we started on a Saturday. She had been introduced to the potty for a while and shown a bit of interest, but never actually used the potty. So on the Friday before we started, I took her to the store to buy a few packs of panties and some stickers. She picked out all her favorite characters. We made a potty chart and made a big deal out of moving into the panties and "no more baby diapers" (she has a baby sister, so that probably helped, too). The next morning, first thing, she sat on the potty (didn't go) and then went straight into the panties. We had a timer and she sat on the potty every 15 minutes the first two days and she got to put a sticker on her chart just for sitting on the potty, usually 3-5 minutes (she never pottied though). We had 2 1/2 days of accident after accident. We would clean it up (with her help) and go over the potty process every time. By Monday around lunch time she finally tee-teed in the potty and got one of her big, fancy stickers to put on the chart (still using the timer). She did progressively better throughout the rest of the afternoon. Throughout the week, we changed the sticker rules to only getting to put on a sticker when she actually went poo-poo or tee-tee and also stretched the time out on the timer from 15 minutes to 20 minutes to 30 minutes to 45 minutes to an hour and by the next Saturday, we no longer had to the use timer as she was telling us when she had to go. Like I said it was 2 1/2 to 3 days of mess after mess, but we did not give up or give in. We didn't make any plans or go anywhere that first week so we could just focus on potty training. Anyway, I hope this helps you out. I know every child is different, and has their own way of learning new things. You know your child better than any of us do out here in cyber world, so you'll know what method will likely work best for your son. You can email me directly if you need any support or anything. Best of luck. ____@____.com

I had the same problem with my son when he was that age and I also was using pull-ups on him. He did not care if he was wet or dirty and I was so frustrated that I decided to use underwear with a water proof training pant just in case of accidents(you can get them at Wal-Mart or Babies R' Us)which finally was what worked for us. The pull-ups are not that different from diapers, the only difference is that you can pull them up and down. I think he still felt that it was a diaper and he really didn't feel how wet he got and with regular underwear he could and didn't like it so much. Oh, and like the other Moms I had a sticker chart and timer and I think the timer works alot b/c they know they have to sit there until it goes off,when he would wake up in the morning I would sit him on the potty for about 10 min. and would take him every 25-30 min throughout the day until he started to tell me when he needed to go then I would just take him whenever he told me he needed to go,boy was it exhausting but worth it, I'm going through the whole process again with my 2yr old son and he's pretty much trained just wears a diaper at naptime and night.Once my older son was potty trained he never had an accident again! Good luck!

I will give you my honest, yet hard opinion....take the pull-ups away. He is for sure old enough to do this, so it is just a matter of making it happen. Tell him that he is done wearing pull-ups, buy him some undies, and "force" the issue. There can be treats or rewards if that works for him, but it is more about making a stand and sticking to it. He may have accidents at first, but he will learn, and at his age, he can find ways to help you clean up the mess. It is so hard to make the jump, but you will be surprised that within a week probably, he will be done, and you will be so much happier (and of course wonder why you did not do this earlier!!) Good luck and let us know how it goes :) ~A.~

I agree with the other posts...trade in Pull Ups for undies. He needs to know there's one more step to becoming a big boy. Use the Pull Ups at night if he still wets. If he can change his own diaper, he knows what's going on down there! I used M&M's with my oldest son when he used the potty - 1 M&M for #1, and 2 for #2. My youngest son didn't need any encouraging...he was ready. Figure out what your child likes. Is he goal oriented or reward oriented? Maybe there's a special toy he'd like to earn...maybe 2 days with undies, using the potty and he gets a special trip to the store. Don't make it so hard and make him feel bad for an occasional accident. He just needs to build his confidence and know this is not a hard thing.

I agree, if he's changing his own pull-ups he knows when he needs to go and can use the potty.

One thing I did with my son was make it his idea. I talked about getting a big boy reward (use whatever works with your son; movie, toy, underpants, etc) but told him that he had to give up the pull-ups first. We decided to start on a Friday, so all week we talked about it and on Thursday night my son threw his pull-ups away - this was key, that he threw them away. On Friday I put him in sweats, they are more uncomfortable wet, and gave him lots of water. I set the timer and he sat on the potty every 30 minutes. The first day we had lots of accidents, not so many the second, and by the end of the first week were pretty much accident free.

Good luck!

My son just turned three in July and I am having the hardest time getting him potty trained as well. When he wakes up we go and sit on the potty, he usually sits there a good 20 min and never goes. So I get him up and put his big boy undies on. He will wear those a while and then we go back to the potty. He may or may not go, again sitting there for about 20 min. It's like he's holding it, because not 5 min. after he gets his undies back on he has an accident. He has gone in the potty and was very excited about it. We got stickers and candy for going. He even called everyone on the phone to let them know he was a big boy and went tee tee in the potty. He will have accidents the rest of the day though. For some reason he doesn't mind if the pee is running down his leg or not. He goes on playing. I'm not sure what I need to do next. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. Thanks

Hi!
This is the best advice I can give you, get rid of the pull-ups! My neighbor and friend had the same problem (one had a girl, the other a boy and they were both 3 1/2) and they used pull-ups. They truly are a waste of money. Let your son wear only underwear, shorts, or nothing. This will be a pain because I know that you want to take him places and don't want him to make a mess. Either don't take him anywhere or let him make a mess! At his age it will embarass him and he won't do it again or he won't even attempt it. At night you can put him in a diaper for a while. He may throw a fit over all of this but you just have to be firm. Tell him it's the rules of the world and you don't make them up. Tell him that all mommies are not allowed to buy diapers once their child is 3 1/2. I am not going to tell you that it will be accident free because it might not but at his age he can physically hold it if he wants to. You will be shocked at how fast he will be potty trained! You just have to be firm. Both of my friends had strong willed children and once the pull-ups were gone they actually were potty trained IMMEDIATELY! Good luck and I was once a nanny and I have a 4 year old and an 8 month old.

I agree with Amber. Get rid of the pull ups and get some undies for the boy! :) My son (turned 3 in July) did kind of the same thing. I notice that when he did wear underwear he would use the potty instead of going in the pull ups. It just took a couple of "accidents" for him to figure it out. I took a very laid back approach to potty training and just let him take the lead but it comes to a point where you have to put them in the uncomfortable zone to make a change. You should also make the whole potty thing a very positive thing for him. If he's talking negative just ignore it and praise anything positive that he does towards making the change. I used a candy jar and offered a reward for going in the potty for a while. One piece for pee pee and two for pee pee and poo poo. It helped take the focus off of going potty and made it more about getting a treat at first. Also make the potty very excisable to him and put a shirt on with just the undies to make it easy for him to get them off and on. I'll bet he'll get it in no time at all!
C.

When my son turned 3 he was still having a hard time going to the potty. One day on the way back from the pool he pee pee'd in his bathing suit with no swim diaper on. He was sooo grossed out we put him in big boy underwear and he has gone to the potty ever since. I don't know if this is the case but the diaper catches it but once it runs down their leg I know that has to feel disgusting.
Hope that helps a little bit. Good Luck.

My son started at 3 1/2 too, although he had attempted it before. I would make him wear his underwear and we talked about how silly it would be if daddy peed in his pants, mommy peed in her pants, etc. They understand this at his age. We would talk about if he peed in his pants other little kids might smell him. (so some mom's might think that is mean (: You don't want them smelling you do you? lol. and maybe if he pees make him help you wash his underwear to get the pee smell out...that won't be fun for him. If he pees in the potty he won't have to wash his underwear anymore. And of course, when he does attempt it, I did a big momma dance. I mean act as silly as can be and really dance and say go "son's name", go "son's name". Make it where he laughs at you and wants to act just as silly when he goes again. Good luck. It will come with time!

Hi L.,

At 3 1/2 my son had absoultely no interest in using the potty. I could tell that he understood the process, but just wasn't interested. Taking his diapers or pull-ups away would have done nothing except give me a mess to clean up. Being in wet or messy pants did not bother him at all. Smelling bad did not bother him. And he has never been embarrased about anything for a second of his life. He does not has a strong desire to impress or please other people, me included. I thought it was hopeless.

Everyone told me to put him on a potty every 15 minutes. We tried it a couple of times. He would go occasionally, but he still had accidents and it was very labor intensive. It was not something that I could do long term.

One day it just occured to me what I needed to do. My son is very independent. He always wants to do things himself. So, I let him pick out a new potty. (the big baby bjorn is good for bigger kids) I put this new potty in the room where he spends most of his time. Then, I showed it to him and said, "From now on, when you need to pee or poop, you should do it in here." I gave him the control of the situation. That was the key with him. He needed control. Making him sit on the potty every 15 minutes was taking the control from him. You need to figure out your son's key. I think taking away pull-ups or sitting on the potty every 15 minutes works with most kids, but not all. Yours might be one of those that needs something different.

When I showed my son the new potty, and gave him control of using it, he immediately took off his pants and diper and went in the potty. And he has been using the potty ever since. He want naked at home for a couple of weeks. And he did have a few accidents. But, just a few. Once I figured out what he needed as an individual person and quit worring about how all of the other kids get trained, it was really like magic.

throw cheerios in the toliet and tell him to sink them! that is apparently how my husband was taught... kind of silly! but i guess it worked... if not... just get rid of any signs of diapers and only offer the big boy underwear... might take a few tries... but out of sight out of mind with the diapers right?! and i'm sure once he has a few 'accidents' he won't be a big fan of being dirty.