Need Help My 3 Y/o Wont Bath

Well, he HAS to have control of some aspect of his life and he has chosen bathtime!!! You lucky dog, you! MOst of my preschoolers become costumed at the arrival of a new baby in the house. You have done a great job trying to accomodate him. IS there anything else you can give him control of???Letting him pick out his clothes? Let him "help" pick out and make dinner? Does he enjoy finger painting???? "I am sorry that you cannot paint you might get dirty and without a bath that would be yucky " might work....
Good luck. He is just trying to find his place in a big world where he needs to exhibit some control.

Have you tried letting him play in the bathtub when it is not bath time. I used to leave the bath toys accessable and my guys would play in there when I had to go to the bathroom. They also love playing with water so to get them interested I let the water dribble a little while I take off their clothes. Good luck!

I would do a natural consequence, for example, "Oh, I am so sad you can't go to -fill in the blank- because we have to be clean and smell nice to go to places like that. People don't like to be around us when we are stinky and dirty. Maybe next time we can go if you have taken a bath." Or get him a special pillow or blanket for his bed. Make a very big deal about it and tell him it is so special, he can only sleep with it when he is clean. Give it a shot. This puts the ball in his court and lets him know there are natural and logical consequences that are directly connected to our choices. Good luck. I hope this helps.

Your 3 year old understands that there is about to be a big change and that you are going to need to divide your attention between your older kids and the upcoming one. Right now, he's asserting power over you, and while it's nice that you are sensitive and are trying to accomodate him, you also need to put your foot down and be the parent, otherwise your life will be MISERABLE once the new baby actually gets there. Whether he likes it or not, he needs to take off his diaper, AND swim diaper, because he won't be able to be fully clean if he keeps them on. Plus, the fact that he doesn't want anyone to bathe him but you....too bad. Daddy needs to bath him and he needs to get over it. He's 3. He needs to learn that there are things he needs to do simply because he needs to do them, and also that making life difficult for others is unacceptable...he is NOT too young to learn this lesson. Do not pamper him, or else you are feeding this bad behavior...and that's just what this is. I'm not trying to be hard on you, or give an overly harsh response, but MANY MANY MANY times I have seen friends that have been faced with similar situations, and until they laid down the law, the situation continually spiralled downwards...especially with new babies on the way. It's not fair to your new baby, to you, and certainly not to your son who is learning that bad behavior will get him what he wants.

does he like showering??? sometimes the choice between the two helps my son. {and that's usually a faster alternative too :)} that's my thought for you- that and maybe seeing if a colder shower or bath may be more comfortable for him? sometimes now that it's getting colder we crank the heat-dress them in lots of layers and they're just too hot what with all their running around maybe a cooler water temp would be more appealing-or atleast "silly" to him.

He is three and there are going to be power struggles. It is fine except when it comes to struggles that are necessary for you to win, like bathing. I agree with the shower thing, since I could no longer bend over when my daughter was about that age and I was pregnant, I put her in the shower with me and got one of those fun visors from I think Babies R Us, it was a lot easier!

You don't need to bribe him to do something he needs to do though. That let's him win control. Just look at him and be calm and say "you have to be clean, it isn't a choice", "so you can take a bath nicely, or a shower but it HAS to be done", if he chooses neither then you have to just do it. Let him scream, pitch a fit or whatever, reminding him that he CHOSE not to do this nicely. Continue to remind him he has choices about other things, easy things like what socks to wear, clothes maybe, maybe a choice at snacktime however being clean is not a choice.

It isn't being mean but he will test you to the core especially with a new baby around. You have be clear on what is okay and what is not. Caving in will just reenforce his control and believe me you do not want that. Three is a tough age anyway, I never had terrible twos both of mine tested me big when they hit three onto four! :)

Also, once you start changing the baby's diapers, really put into focus baby's pee or poopy in their diaper not big kids, it took a few months of my daughter wanting the attention of her diaper getting changed too but after a call from Santa and empowering her with big girl stuff, then she wanted to be a big girl instead and potty trained 100%.

Hang in there and congrats!

I agree with several of the responses, but thought I'd still put my 2 cents in. :) I always had good luck with giving them choices (like bath or shower, bubbles or no bubbles, etc.). I also agree that this is him asserting his control, however it's one issue where mom can't give. Being clean is an absolute necessity...and you can't be fighting this once the baby is here. There will be plenty of other issues which require and demand your time. Good luck!

Try showering with him instead. also do Love and Logic and give him the control by offering two choices you can deal with like; bath bubbles or no bubbles, wash hair or wash only toes, mommy's bath tub or your bath tub? Or try letting him paint himself with water color pants in the dry tub. Let him look at himself in the mirror (I have a great book...I Ain'tGoing to Paint No More)...and explain it is only okay in the tub followed by a bath. You are going to have to let your hubby bath him. Let the guys get in the shower together.

I am guessing that this is a reaction to a new baby coming. This may be difficult for a while. Please sympathize with him. He's extremely aware that he's not a baby anymore, and he's grasping for babyhood. I wish you luck, and please, comfort him a lot and don't reveal your exasperation. He doesn't know what's coming next and he's scared of it, that's all. When he adjusts to the new routine, he'll gain more confidence and probably calm down an awful lot.

Have you tried letting him take a shower? We have a 2 yo who loves showers. He also loves baths...anything with water, so it may not help. Just a thought.

S.,

Try using a shower....Use a shower head that is removable (on the extender hose thing--I can't think of the right terminology). Rinse him wet, soap him, and rinse again. And I would only bath when necessary, he may feel the pressure of you being due, so don't force the issue too much.

if you can, let one of his grandparents bathe him. maybe they know something that will help, and sometimes having them do it is more fun for the child. let me know how things work out reguardless how you solve the issue. i'm interested in knowing. thanks and good luck

Daddy carwash. When dad gets in the shower, strip him down, toss him in with your husband to wash and scrub and shampoo, then be there with a towel when he gets out. 5 minutes and yer done. Remember, you are bigger than him for a reason. ;D

at 3 he is probably intruiged by learning stuff, my almost 3 year old is. We've been looking in a science book about bodies to explain bones (I just broke one) etc. I'm wondering if you can find a book on germs? I don't know of one but it could help if there is a kid book about them? I liked Kelli's I'm so sad you can't go to....because you didn't bathe. also sometimes going overboard on a reaction can help at that age because they think it's funny-- something like he comes up to hug you and you throw your hands up and say "oh! it's the stink monster he is taking over your body! you have to bathe to take his stinkiness away!!" of course this only works if he isn't afraid of monsters lol. but in a diaper change taking a moment with a wet wipe and wiping his pits etc. and saying "there's some stinky over here, and some over here" and the tickles and mom time with that. take the steam out of the fight and he gets some of that extra time. Another thing I was thinking on the wear the diaper in the tub thing--he might be worried if you have a new baby he isn't your baby anymore. It might help to have a good talk with him about how it doesn't matter if you have a new baby he will always be your baby too. we went through it to a lesser degree when I started watching my nephew and there was a baby in the house. dd went on a rebel rambpage wanting bottles which she NEVER used--and stopped wearing anything but diapers when I finally asked her why she said I'm your baby. eye opener I hadn't even thought about that. we had a good talk and she still has to test boundaries but we are doing much better--no more asking for bottles anyway. lol.
good luck!

Let him watch you or your husband take a shower then offer him the choice of big boy shower or playtime bath... maybe it is a control issue and giving a choice might help him to feel more in control...

there's always the backyard hose! Just kidding!

I would suggest just pulling back and taking the fight away from it. Go ahead and do wipe downs or whatever he will tolerate and go from there. It's often the littlest things that put them off to something. It could have been a weird noise, the water too hot or cold. Maybe he went pee in the tub and didnt like it. Maybe he pinched his privates sitting in the tub - it could be anything. If he asks again, maybe go ahead and let him go in with a new diaper one time and then when it gets all huge and heavy and uncomfortable, you can offer to help take it off. If he complains, back off and do his cleanup quickly and take him out of the tub. That wet diaper wont be comfortable and I'll bet he won't ask again.

So many times they want to feel some control over their decisions and if it's safe, why not let them experiment a little and allow it to be a simple object lesson. Go ahead and let your husband give him a bath!! You can't do this all on your own.

good luck and have fun!