Need Help Coping with Daycare

Hi C.,

Alright take a deep breath. This is hard. I have two babies that I stayed home with up until the beginning of this year. The working issue had come up and come up and I finally had to bite the bullet. Our society is both pro-mom at work and anti-mom at work (confusing??).

My son has a communication disorder so I was terrified that the first day they would call me and say they couldn't take it. But no phone call and when I went running back the moment I was done I found two very happy, well-fed toddlers running around. They didn't nap, but they did a quiet time for the daycare gal. I found as the days went on it was really me and not them having a hard time.

One thing some daycares have is monitoring systems - you may want to ask about this - where they have a video camera on at all times and you can go to a website they have set up to see how your baby is doing. If they don't have this you are allowed to call and ask how everything is going (I don't recommend talking to your baby as this can cause tantrums).

The other thing to remember is that daycares are USED to children ranging from very easy to extremely difficult. They have had training if they've gone through the state for certification (you might want to ask this as well - it means background checks have been done, only healthy snacks are provided, etc.). So they will know how to deal with tantrums and so on. I found that my kiddos behaved better at daycare than they did for me!!

It will be hard for the first few weeks, but you'll find others at work who have their kids in daycare, and you'll know that it's going to be ok. As long as you've done your research on the daycare (beyond just knowing the director - it's good to know if the daycare itself is a good fit for your baby) you will find that it really just takes time to ease into this new experience.

4 moms found this helpful

My daughter started going to daycare (which I loved) around 7 months as well. It was VERY hard and I too was concerned about the nap time and one-on-one attention.

It has actually worked out very well, and the teachers were great! My daughter is now 4 and still goes 3 days per week. If she misses a day, she gets pouty. She loves the social interaction, games, learning, etc.

Children are very flexible and will generally adapt well to a positive environment. Just make sure you are active in her care, checking in with the teachers and stopping by to visit if possible during the day.

I can assure you that my daughter is very well behaved,smart, secure and happy little girl. Even stay at home moms need someone to watch their children on occasion (maybe even weekly by grandma or a relative) . . does that make them less of a mother? No.

2 moms found this helpful

I started my son at daycare 10 hours a week at 8 months and he really, really loves it. I cried a lot at first after dropping him off, but was very careful to not cry in front of him and make it a big deal to leave him. I pick him up and he's really happy to see me, but when I drop him off and we would crawl over to a toy or a friend and get going with his day.

He is an extremely happy, playful and loving little boy--I don't know how I got over feeling guilty or awkward about leaving him, but his enjoyment at daycare made me realize that what I was feeling was related the expectations that I had for myself that had been set up by many others around me and weren't actually a reflection of how my son felt about being left. That has helped. I might feel bad leaving him, but it's not because him going to daycare is a bad thing. Good luck. I bet you'll be surprised how well it goes (but give it a week for everyone to get used to the new schedule!)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi C.,
I am personally a huge fan of GOOD daycare centers. My mom worked when I was little and both my brother and I did well. Our 2-year-old has been going to day care since he was 15 months old and he loves it! I even kept him in during the summer (I'm a teacher) because he has more fun with his friends. He also naps and eats better (they provide excellent meals-I tend to offer him a cheese stick). Anyway, kids are very adaptable and I think your daughter will be fine. It's always harder on the parents. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Mama... I'm so with you. My daughter is going this morning for the FIRST time to stay with someone that is not family as I go back to work just 2 days a week and I'm in shambles about it. I've cried all week :(
I would love to know what daycare you're using? I"m not comfortable with anything just yet... so we're still looking. :( I've gotta run this morning... but I'd love to chat some? Email me if you like! ____@____.com!!
K.

I thinking finding a center you trust is the most important! Im going through the same thing right now, Ive been a stay at home mom for 6 yrs, and now all of a sudden i got to put kids in daycare, and its soooo hard! But both of my kids (who are big mommas boys) are doing very well and look forward to school. My youngest is in the care of a relative hes 9 months, on wait list though.
ALso i love the web monitoring, can check out what my sons doing at that moment. big peace of mind for me.

I feel your pain! You sound a lot like I have felt at times.
One thing that could possable make you feel like you are less of a mother for sending your child to daycare is peer presure.
I have both sent my child to day care and have also used a nanny.
Both have pros and cons.
I have now chosen to use day care instead of a nanny because my daughter needs an atmosphere that has other children her age around her. Not only that but many times when there is a public atmosphere you do not have to worry so much as to how your child is being treated.
I believe in day cares. My first daughter went to daycare and is in the top of her class, not to mentioned very loved by her two working parents. You should not feel guilty. I choose to work because I think I actually get more quality time with my kids when I am working. Trust your instinct and do not let society make you feel guilty for giving one hundred percent!