Need Help Balancing Work and a 17 Month Old

It's so hard to be at home and trying to work at the same time!

I don't know if this will help or not - but www.flylady.net is a good website for setting schedules and has a lot of good info. I look at it as "it's great for gleaning great ideas from."

For what it's worth....and good luck!

Hi R.. I have to be honest, it is difficult! My kids are much older and it is hard with them when they are off from school. What do you do from home? I was self employed and worked from home for almost 3 years and am now looking for employment, either from home or out of the home (because I am desperate!!), but he isn't at an age where he is self sufficient. You will probably need to make real good use of nap time and play time. Can you keep him close by and active while you work? I think if you can get him active in something and then work as much as possible while he is busy, that would be best. Good luck with it!! You are doing what is best for both of you. So keep it up!! It'll be worth it in the end!

Alyson

I am 34 with a 13 year old girl and a 9 year old boy. Married for 4 years, but I did the single mom thing for 9 years! So I know what you are going through!!

I am not a single parent but I feel like it sometimes because my husband works nights so I don't see him until the weekend. I have two kids 9yr. and 5yr. they are a handful but my 9yr helps me out when I need her too. You don't have any friends or family that could possible watch your little boy while you work. Even if it is just for couple of hours. It will get better I promise. He will start to get interested in things and be so needy. You are doing a great job keep it up. If you don't mind me asking what is it that you do from home?

J. D

i work from home as well, i have a 15, 7, 5 and 23m old. i only work in the am when they are plastered to the tv for literally 20minutes and then again at nap time. that's it. is just doing your work at nap time enough? i can work at night as well. which helps pick up the slack. otherwise - well #4 is into everything.

I can understand how you feel. My name is Barb ad I also work from home. I have 3 children, 4 dogs, and a cat. SO YEAH I FEEL YOUR PAIN. However, I love working from home. I never have to miss another sports event or school function. Being a Pure Romance Consultant has totally changed my life. It can be tough but it's worth it. So don't get discouraged. What do you do from home. Maybe I can have suggestions on time management and ways to focus and still be able to be there for your son. You can e-mail me here or you can also e-mail me at ____@____.com

R., i have a 16-month-old and i do freelance writing from home off and on. it is tough! i love my husband, but i feel like i have to do everything - work, get groceries, cook, clean, etc, and it can be completely overwhelming. i'm lucky that my son is very good at entertaining himself and playing alone. we have what we call baby gitmo - 2 of those plastic play yards connected in our living room (walmart has them the cheapest online, tho you may be able to find used ones at a second hand shop). so when i have a deadline (or even need to get dinner ready) he can safely play in there without me having to watch him every second. i'm not going to lie - i often feel like a crappy mom neglecting her son. but he is happy and enjoys himself. occasionally, i get a sitter if i'm going in for a meeting, tho i have often times taken him with me to the office, if you can believe that. one of my main clients is a former employer and they all love him, so i'm lucky in that way. and if you're like me, you don't have a whole lot of family around to watch your kid and you don't want to overdo it or spend all the money you make on a sitter. i think the college student idea is a good one tho i'm not sure how to go about finding one - and during the summer, neighborhood high schoolers are a good option. another thing i've never done but want to try is to have someone come in just for a little me time - like so i can go get a pedicure or do some exercise. something for me. b/c always looking out for everyone else can be overwhelming, too. good luck and you are definitely not alone.

I found a friend who also works from home - we do a trade, i have her kids for a full day and she has mine for a full day. I know that she does a trade with me and another woman, and she has her kids at daycare one day a week as well.

Good luck! I feel your pain.

C.

Find other single moms or moms who are willing to take turns w/ watching kids and/or doing tasks together. Such as.. fix meals together: share cost/time/create friendship, etc. You go to the gym or whatever while the other mom watches; You watch both kids while the other mom goes wherever. JUST MAKE SURE YOU DONT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OPPORTUNITY!!! SCHEDULE time alone (even if it's 15 minutes, PLAN a day to clean ONE bathroom, NOT the whole house. Break things down into smaller tasks rather than big ones. You may have to do dishes at this time, sweep the floor another, start laundry here and finish there. THAT kind of strategy makes a HUGE difference! I know.......I do it ALL THE TIME!!!

Hello R. - I also work from home and have twin 11.5 month olds. Yes, it is very difficult and for awhile I felt like I couldn't do the Mom thing or the work thing 100%. I felt very torn. A couple things that worked for me:
- Hire somone to watch your son. I found a GREAT college student who is willing to take less money/hr as I'm flexible around her class schedule. She is about to graduate so I am in the search again. It's not fun and you get a couple doozies, but don't give up. She comes about 18 hours per week.
- Do NOT do anything BUT work when he is napping. Do all housework and other activities when he is awake. Nap time is dedicated to working except for one day/month when we have fun.
- Do work that you can while he is awake. Occasionally for an extra hr/day I will send emails and do f/up during awake time. WHen they are watching baby einstein or in alone time (for 20 minutes each/day they spend in the pack in play and activity jumpers). Try not to do this all day though as you won't get much done and you'll miss out on qt with him.
Best of luck! It certaily is a challenge. Set a plan and stick to it as much as possible!

Your son is too young to be shared with your work. You need to get a helper. Maybe someone could come in for several hours in AM, then you take lunch with your son, put him down for nap, continue work as he naps.

Hi R.,
I understand where you are coming from. I did not work from home but I got my associates online from the university of Phoenix. I have three children that I had to work around. When I first started my schooling my middle child was two and very energetic to say the least. Shortly after I started I found out I was pregnant with my third. I had a lot of assignments due during the week and it was hard to juggle all of it. I do have a husband who helped out, but not much because he worked and he felt because I "didn't" I should be able to get everything done. So what I did was get in a groove during this time. I would try to do a little work while my daughter was eating breakfast and then again while she was napping. I had to let go of the idea that my house was always going to be clean and the laundry was always going to done. If I had any braincells left at the end of the night when they were in bed I would do a little bit then.I know at 17 months they are into everything (my youngest is now 15 months, but I am finally done with school!!). IT is hard to get anything done let alone work. My biggest advice to you is find support in friends or family members. DO not be scared or too proud to ask, it will be better for your mental state. Try to stick to a routine each day and map out the amount of time you want to spend doing work....spending time with your child....cleaning and cooking. It can be stressful if you feel out of control.

Another option for you because you are a single mom would be to research assistance with daycare. You could take him to daycare a couple times a week where he would learn socialization and you could work in peace (and probably be more productive because you do not have to get up every five minutes to get hime out of something). Some programs will pay for your daycare fee or at least a large chunk of it.
Taking alittle time for yourself can go a long way.

I wish you luck and hope that it gets easier for you. Just remember he won't be little for long so cherish it!

I have 4 kids (11,8,6,3) and I started working from home when my first was 6 months old. I work full time-bankers hours (9-5). Once my kids got older, it got hard to keep the kids inside during the summer so I started using sitters for half of my work day to play with the kids and help me while I worked. Working from home has it's benefits, you take less sick days because you are already home, dinners can be prepared, laundry and daily cleaning is easier to keep up AND you really get to know the sitter you choose. The beginning is hard because the kids know you are home and prefer you over the sitter but they do adjust. It's a little more expensive to have someone come in your house but, for me, it is well worth it. I got lucky and found a sitter that came from a daycare/preschool. She does preschool with my toddlers and is always full of ideas for arts and crafts. If it's a nice day, she makes it a priority to take them for walks in the local parks. A good source for sitters is sittercity.com. I found mine by a friends referral although she is listed on sittercity for the hours I don't use her.

Good luck!
Busy Mom :)

If you are able to get work done around the baby's sleep schedule, working very early a.m. or p.m., you will have more time to spend with you son and feel less frustrated when he vies for your attention. You didn't say what type of work you do, but getting some help from another Mom - swapping babysitting could allow you to have a couple of hours of quiet and guilt-free time to work during active daytime hours. You will have to reciprocate, but maybe it could work out that you help your (co-op babysitting) friend out on weekend nights. Another Mom website, MomsLikeMe, has exchange listings for Moms who want co-op babysitting. There are also Mother's Morning Out programs at many area church's that are inexpensive and good for some interactive play. Good luck to you finding better balance.

A little about me:
I operate Solutions Home Staffing and also place nannies and mother's helpers.

I try to run 3 family business out of the house and I can not do it. I had to put my daughter in a toddler program 2 mornings a week once she was old enough. It is hard but if you can rearrange your schedule to work when they nap or after they go to bed it is much easier. I did that for a long time.