Hi moms, I need help with a gift idea for my husband. We were in the middle of a divorce all summer and in the last 2 months have reconciled and I am back home. Our anniversary is the 15th (we'll be celebrating on the 20th), our 7th anniversary. As you can imagine it's been a very hard year and I want to do something that will let him know just how much I love him and am committed to making our marriage work. After all the attorneys fees we have $0 extra for gifts but I do have the girls going to grandma's that Saturday overnight. What things could I make, or things we could do to celebrate?
First of all I just wanted to say THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, for all of your incredible advice. I was just overcome with emotion when I read all of your sweet responses congratulating me and my husband on working things out. On the actual date of our anniversary, I came home (I work overnight) and placed 50 post-it notes, all with reasons I love him, all over the house. When he woke up he came down stairs to find them, on the stair case rail, on his pool table, his keys, in his wallet, pockets, his truck...he was finding them for days after. :-) I was standing in the kitchen when he came down thinking I had surprised him the most but he surprised me more by giving me my engagement and wedding band back. (when we chose to take another chance on our marriage I gave him the rings and asked that he put them on my finger when he thought I deserved them as his wife, and if we didn't make it they were to be saved for our 1st born daughter). It was the one thing I wanted most. :-) And then on the day we had set aside for our date, he took me to dinner and I gave him a picture of our whole family that was taken when we went to the fair this yr. It was our 1st outing as a family again and the 1st real proof of happiness on our faces in a long time. I put the picture in a frame meant for 2 pics. and on the other side I printed up our wedding vows. He absolutely loved it! After dinner we went home and enjoyed some much needed quiet time together. The plan for the following morning was to make him breakfast in bed but half way through the night he got sick with a nasty stomach virus!! Poor hubby! All in all it was a wonderful anniversary. The blueberry pancakes will just have to wait till his birthday. :-) Thanks again for all your awesome ideas!!
Give him a gift list of why you fell in love with him in the first place, and why you're ready to love him until the 'death do you part' era. I agree with the list of grateful attributes that you gift him with. He'll love it and you'll get a refresher on how wonderful that man is.
Make him a coupon book for backrubs, special meals, uninterrupted football games, whatever would be great for him. Punch holes in it, tie it w/ribbon, cost=$0!
You could give him a coupon book with things like "good for 1 massage", "good for 1 foot rub", "good for 1 back scrub", etc. Be as creative as you feel comfortable. Good luck.
One of the things I have done for my husband in the past sounds kind of goofy, but he loved it. We really wanted to go to Italy on vacation, but could not afford it. So I brought Italy to us. I downloaded some Italian style music from lime wire(free), I made mannicoti, salad and a loaf of garlic bread (got it from Albertson's it was the bread loafs they have fresh every afternoon cost like a buck or something and I served a laughing cow cheese spread with it.) We don't drink, but we had our tea in wine glasses. When he got home, I was dressed in a dress that has a full skirt and heels with make up and hair done, nails painted. I met him at the door(music playing) kissed him and welcomed him to our Italian villa. :) That was over 5 years ago. Since then we occasionally do the same type thing with different countries/foods.. It is our favorite night...Hope you have a wonderful anniversary!
Hi A.!
You've received lots of great suggestions, and I want to throw in my 2 cents to contribute to a wonderful anniversary celebration! First and above all...I want to wish you a huge congratulations on reconciling your marriage. I am so encouraged by both your and your husband's committment to work through the difficulties in your relationship. Way to continue perserving in faithfulness!!!
One thing I did for my husband is a treasure hunt. I wrote out clues that led to different parts of the house. The final clue led him to his "treasure," which was a little box filled with gold nuggets. The gold nuggets were actually pieces of dark chocolate (which my husband loves) wrapped with slips of paper. Each slip of paper told something about him that I appreciated, respected or was thankful for. I then wrapped the paper and chocolate in gold foil paper (from Hobby Lobby) to look like a treasure of gold! I know you mentioned not having any money so if you decide to do this, then you can modify it a bit with what you have laying around the house.
Also, some other women mentioned this...but for most men the best gift you can give them is yourself...naked!!! :) Seriously, most men are ministered to by a night of intimacy with their wife far above any fancy date out and about (that's for us ladies!). If you are like most ladies, then you may have insecurities about your body, but if you can set them aside to be creative and dress up for him, dance around, be playful etc. then he will LOVE it-I guarantee it!
I pray this is your sweetest anniversary celebration yet!!!
Love in Christ,
Lisa :)
A.,
One year my husband gave me a wonderful gift. I think you might find it "free" and really a great thing considering your recent reconciliation.
He took a vase that we already had and placed in it some heart shaped construction paper with little sayings on them, like how much he loved me, and little quirks about our marriage. You could layer it with candy or your husbands favorite snack. I bet it will be fun to watch him read all the hearts and bring back some great fond memories for both of you! :)
How about a "gratitude box", it doesn't cost hardly anything. (use a shoe box and have the girls decorate it) If you can write a couple of special notes to him from you and some from your girls, some friends and family; Some examples are:
"What I love about you..."
"Thank you for..."
"My Holiday Wish for you..."
I haven't seen any of the other answers yet, I'm sorry if this was already written.
I always like to do home dates, it reminds me of when we first got together and couldn't afford to go out so we would make each other dinners and eat by candle light and play romantic music. make a picnic in your living room, light candles and have dinner. listen to music then maybe take a relaxing bath together or give each other massages.
The best gift you can give him is YOU!
Make his favorite dinner. Rent a movie he's dying to see. Make sure he has his fave snack and your hand to hold.
Watch it NAKED. Have some fun while the kids are gone. Let him know you are back 100% and you want to be more playful.
If he's a guy, he'll like it!
Sleep naked. Nothing says "I'm available" like nudity!
You've got some cool answers. We've been married 3 years and this 3rd anniversary (2 weeks from now??) is going to be the first one we get to go out on. We got pregnant 6 weeks after marrying, so we had an infant the first year and were just tired and no money the 2nd year, but they were both great. The first year we watched a marathon of his favorite British comedy show, ate nachos, laughed all night. Last year was great: I fixed an awesome dinner (smothered fillet mignon with blue cheese, green beans, roasted red potatoes--super easy actually, and not nearly as expensive as a restaurant for a much lesser meal...maybe about $15-20 for 2?), and for desert I made his favorite: cheesecake. On the cheesecake I put a "2" birthday candle since it was our 2nd anniversary, just for laughs. We went through a kind of "greatest hits" photo album I'd previously put together of our happiest times from dating to now. Then we sat in the living room on a pallet with some nice music and a fire going, and made toasts (sweet at first, then crazier as it went on) until we ran out of champagne. It was really nice! Looking forward to this year, going out, but we're still looking forward to coming home and spending fun and really good time at home afterwards. It always cracks me up when the babysitter's dad or friends say we come home way too early....we're home no later than 10pm. But we like each other....and we're having so much fun we WANT to get home, lol! That's the icing on the cake!
One thing I did for my husband when we were dating for Thanksgiving, I know meant a lot to him. I worked on it for about a week though...I made a list of all the reasons I loved him or was thankful for him, put one "reason" each in balloons, and went to his work and blew up all the balloons and stuffed his car with them. I had put a Thanksgiving card with a giant knitting needle enclosed (to pop balloons) in his lunchbox and the cards said to bring the needle back to the car to find some of the reasons I'm thankful. He had to pop the balloons to get in, and he thought it was really sweet. He kept them all. Once after a big fight, I threw them away (to be ugly) and I saw that he'd dug them all out of the trash. So, now they are in a nice, really pretty but "manly" box I got at Walmart and on his nightstand.
And finally: if you go TOO "all out" and overwhelm him, he may feel bad that he didn't do enough for you, and that could kinda dampen things. I say a great dinner, some nice music, and some laughs and reconnecting with why you're together to begin with, and what you have to look forward to is really the best. If it's too hard or too complicated, you may be too tired to enjoy it, or he may be feeling guilty for not putting in as much effort. (I'm not an expert; just going by what my husband is like).
Good luck with everything. Hope y'all have a nice time.
I am thrilled for you that you and your hubby are back together. Remember each day that you both have to continue to work at things for this to be successful.
That being said, I have a book: 1001 Ways To Be Romantic by Gregory Godek. You don't have to go out and buy it now. Keep this posting so you can buy the book later...I got it off Double Day book Club.
Here's a few ideas from it:
#146: If you're not a writer, create an audio love letter. Sit down with a tape recorder and just talk for ten minutes. Put it in a walkman and giftwrap it.
#352: Go cloud watching. Go for a walk in a field (or park). Flop down on a blanket and point out things you see in the clouds. Make sure to hold hands.
#350: Fill the cookie jar with love notes. Fill the mailbox with cookies.
#479: Go sign up for a Bridal Gift Registry and go 'fantasy shopping'. (make sure you take off the rings before going in the store.)If you see it and always wished for it...put it on your list. You might learn something new about eachother.
#659: Get some crayons. If you're right handed, use your left hand and write him a love note as if you were in 1st grade.
#987a: Make a heart shaped pizza...together. Grill burgers in the shape of hearts.Make heart shaped cookies.
My own idea then found for #741: If you are not a fancy-schmancy kinda couple you'd do better with a picnic style dinner on a blanket in the middle of the floor...book added that there's no rules that says you can't have a picnic indoors, in the nude, by the fireplace, in bed, at the office...or when & where ever you want.
My point in all this is don't stress. There is plenty you can do together without the extra cash. Besides, it will probably mean more this way with more thought put into it.
**Note:
Make sure you disconnect the phones & turn off the tv. This is time for the two of you. Back together to reconnect and have 'together time.' Don't cloud it with all the other media stuff.
Best of luck to you both.
Happy Anniversary!
do you have any family photos that were taken at a happy point in your lives? you could even check with family or friends to see if they have photos. you can get a frame at the dollar store and decorate it or even decorate one you have at home. A memorable photo might help him remember and realize how important it is for him to have a permanent place in your family. You could also plan a special breakfast in bed meal that you have already prepared in advance. Between the day of your anniversary and "the big night" you could write him little notes with sincere messages on what you like about him and how important he is in your life. Good luck. I hope you both make the commitment to work on your marriage. Also if you don't have a supportive church in your lives, find one. Pray for the healing of your marriage.
If you have a color printer, go to:
http://familycrafts.about.com/od/coupons/tp/couponsprint.htm
Select the coupons that you want to print and print them off. One free 'get out of trouble' pass, one free day off from taking out the trash, , one free massage, or whatever. Punch a whole in them and tie them with a pretty ribbon.
Also, you can take a favorite picture of the 2 of you and blow it up and/or frame it so he can bring it to work and put it on his desk.
Or:
If you two are spiritual, then copy 1 corinthians 13: 4-7
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." Type it up in word and change the font to a pretty cursive writing and frame it for his nightstand in the bedroom.
clean the house, make a special candle light dinner with light classical music playing in the background, dress in a sexy lingier, serve him his dinner.... make a scrap book of the good times in your marriage... www.marthastewart.com
good luck.
I'm so glad you are reconciled! Some things you can do are go places to look at stuff/pretty views, strolling hand in hand and chatting. Stay home and dress up (wedding dress still fit? What about your honeymoon "gear"?) Put on some music you have or streaming from the internet, and dance with your shoes off. Make something in the kitchen that requires effort/wine and eat it by candlelight. Reminisce, give a full body massage, dance FOR him, anything like that. Those things are priceless and free. Sparks will fly. ;)
Enjoy and smile!
~A.
I am so glad to know that y'all are working it out! You could plan on having a candle light picnic in living room or bed room floor. Or even in frount of fire place. Personalize a card or note telling him how you feel and how thankful you are that you are back home! And at the end you can tell him what you would like to do to him that night (you know what i am saying).
A Little about me
I am a self employed mom of 2 wonderful kids. Son is 9 daughter is 5. Married to my God sent husband for 10 years.
I know you said you have $0 but if there is ANYWAY you can scrounge up or even borrow $8 you DESPERATELY need to buy the book "The Love Dare". In the front there is a "To, From" page that gives you a space to write a heartfelt personal message and a space for the date you gave it to him, which would be a great keepsake to pass down to your girls when they get engaged.. This is not only a great gift but it will save your marriage (which is more important then a gift)! Plus it's the gift that keeps on giving. The love dare is a 40 day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and practice unconditional love. It will show/teach you the keys to finding true intimacy and developing a dynamic marriage. My husband & I are reading it and it shows you the "right" way to love. It will also help a man understand his wife's needs, wants, and expectations, and vice versa. Plus the dare at the end of each day makes it so much fun! I can not urge you enough to buy this book. We were on the verge of divorce, and T. honest with you at that point I didn't even care; this book saved us! We are in love like we were when we first started dating... We act like 2 high school kids, and I love it!!!! Good luck
Another thought... An old boyfriend did this for me when he was leaving the state to go to medical school and to this day I still remember it fondly..... He cut up little pieces of paper and wrote down reason or things he loved about me and hid them ALL over my apartment the day he left. After he left I was finding them for months. You can put them everywhere so that he'll find them even when you're not around, this will keep him thinking about you. Put one in his wallet, in his brief case, in his bathroom drawer where he keeps stuff he uses daily, in the pocket of clean pants, under his pillow.. you get the picture!!!
Kudos to you for making this work and re-establishing a stable home for your children.
If you can't spend money just do something nice at home. Your thoughtfulness and actions will be remembered and appreciated. Your girls won't be there so set up a special dinner (his favorite maybe), and reconnect.
Wear something that he likes....could be your sexiest lingerie or one of his tshirts. You both need stress relief...what about a massage? If you can swing it, a bottle of wine or champayne to toast to new beginnings.
Best wishes!
What a touching story of two people making their marriage work! Great job!!! I would fix yourself up to be absolutely beautiful to him and make him an aweseome meal with dessert and all. Serve him. And of course finish the evening off with wearing the best lingerie you can find! You guys deserve a great anniversary, most people give up and get divorced! Seriously, way to go!!! Keep it up! I highly encourage you to read "Created to be His Help Meet." Whoa, the book will knock you off your feet while teaching you to be the best wife possible! It changed my life!
You received some great ideas...kudos to you for sticking in there (not sure of the history) and doing something special and not spending. Something after the anniversary/holidays, etc. I would suggest is you two attending (separatly) a wonderful training that saved my marriage. You work on "you" but it helps every aspect of your life. They help if you can't pay and the first part (basic 1) is only $79. Check out www.sosinc.org. When you go to basic 2, your husband should go to basic 1. My husband did not want to go, this is not his thing...in the end he thanked me. Some friends have gone too and they all say "thank you for saving my life". Trust me...it worked. We were beyond "done" too. Good luck!!
Why don't you give him a very romantic quiet dinner....have his favorite appertizer, meal, dessert, and drink waiting for him or give him a time for dinner....dress sexy or in your best attire that lets him see you and make him a homemade card from the heart....you can even create a poem inside and then go to Kinko's and take one of your best pictures of you and him or you, him, and the children and put on the front of the homemade card......have nice music playing and candles lit around the house.
Very happy for both of you! You could cut tiny strips of paper and write on each one something you love about your husband and put them in a box (or other container) with a bow. I hope you have a wonderful anniversary celebration!
You could make him a special dinner then go out for a nice dessert. That would cut down on $ plus the candle lit dinner at home would be just the 2 of you to talk, share, and remember all of the good times you have shared. Then go out someplace fancy or to a mall to look at decorations and eat a wonderful dessert. Best of both worlds. The 7th year was our hardest!!!! Good Luck.
Candlelight dinner. Light the candles even if it is mac and cheese. Bubble bath by candle light for 2. Rent a movie.
Enjoy each other and your time alone together. Share positive, fun memories. Back rub and it gets returned. Look at wedding photos and or your wedding book and what you wrote down. Cuddle. Read poetry together. Listen to relaxing music. Have fun.
GL
Find some kind of small box/bag/container you already have around the house. Make a list of 30 or 31 things you particularly love about your husband. Put each one on a slip of paper and put it in the container. That way he can open one each day for the next month to remind him of all the things you think are special about him. And he'll be able to go back to it throughout the year.Congratulations to saving your marriage!
Hi A., how about a photo album or slide show reviewing the years you've had together. It will take the focus off of the bad year and remind you of the good times. You could include dating, wedding, birth of kids, vacations, etc.
Other than that, cook his favorite meal and maybe prepare a bath surrounded by candles.
One year when our budget was super tight I made my husband a book called "100 reasons why I am grateful you are my husband." I had a blast and he loved it.
OK-- THIS IS WHAT I HAVE DONE: GET OR MAKE A VERY NICE 'INVITATION' TO GIVE TO HIM INVITING HIM TO 'DINNER AND A NIGHT OF ROMANCE'(or dinner and how ever you want to word the rest). Clean your house and make it nice.If you can, buy yourself a nighty totally unlike what u would normally wear. Walmart has great prices on enticing things that work!if you cannot buy anything, rifle thru your lingerie and put something together.take a nice bath and get yourself all soft and smelling nice.Have this on when he arrives.Make a terrific dinner that will require little prep once he arrives so that you can devote your attention to him as soon as he arrives.You can take the simplest of ingredients and prepare a nice meal(EMAIL ME IF YOU NEED SOME IDEAS0. If you can get them, chocolate dipped strawberries are great and make a nice presentation.Serve it up on your nice (REAL) DISHES AND FLATWARE.SET YOUR TABLE IN YOUR DINING ROOM IF YOU HAVE ONE, IF NOT, SET ANY TABLE W/A TABLECLOTH AND LINEN, WITH CANDLES AND FLOWERS, IF YOU CAN.GET THOSE LITTLE VOTIVE CANDLES AND LOWER YOUR LIGHTS, AND PLACE THEM ALL OVER YOUR HOME, DINING AREA, BEDROOM, BATHROOM.Light your firplace if you have one.CHILL YOUR NICEST GLASSES, AND HAVE HIS FAVORITE BEVERAGE READY FOR HIM. PUT ON SOME REALLY NICE, ROMANTIC MUSIC. WHEN HE ARRIVES HOME, SERVE HIM, SERVE HIM, SERVE HIM-HOW ABOUT USING SOME NICE SCENTED OIL OR LOTION AND ADDING A BACK RUB OR FOOT MASSAGE?? TELL HIM THIS IS HIS NIGHT OF PAMPERING. SIT AND TALK AND JUST TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A NIGHT WITHOUT THE KIDS AND ENJOY EACH OTHER'S COMPANY.DO NOT DISCUSS BILLS, KIDS-NONE OF THAT!TRUST ME-WHO COULD RESIST ASIMPLE, BUT SO VERY SPECIAL EVENING LIKE THIS??? HE WILL KNOW YOU DID THIS WITH HIM AS THE FOCAL POINT.GOOD LUCK-AND I AM HAPPY YOU WERE ABLE TO restore your marriage!!! what a blessing!
My husband was always cheating on me and even spends nights out. sometimes he even leave for the entire week end, pretending that he has work, but i know he just go meet women, my life was lame until, i asked {{{____@____.com}}} to cast a spell for me. so that my husband can be a good man and after his spell, my husband changed automatically, he now spends much more time with me and the kids and we're a family again
Hi A.,
What about if the two of you have a romantic night like snuggle in bed or have a bubble bath together or watch some
romantic movies make popcorn or make your favorite dinner ! Sometime the little things in life are the most expensive ,just spending time together is the best thing ever ! You could make him a card and tell him that your marriage and your girls are the most important things to you!Have a wonderful night and enjoy each other.
A little about me :
I'm a mother of 2 and been married for 3 1/2 years.
First, Congratulations on your reconciliation! What a gift for your girls to give them for Christmas, a home with a happy dad and a mom, just like it should be.
Your story blesses me. If lack money to get gift for each other in your anniversary, well I see no problem just remember that your love and respect is priceless, but also get home videos, your children photos, go find momentous of your relationship such as love letters, etc and reminisce over it over a candle light dinner, sweet music and top it all off with a romantic movie night....if he objects to the romantic theme, them watch his pick, you and him will have a great time and most likely you will not finish the movie anyway.
Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary and love each other forever!!
P.S. I'm stealing some of the advise our great mamasource club have given you. Moms you are the BEST!
Merry Christmas to all!
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