Need Advice on Eating and Bedtime for 4 Month Old

Updated on June 03, 2008
L.W. asks from Clayton, NC
30 answers

This is probably a strange request, but I seem to be running into the same problem every night. I need some advice. My sweet little boy is 4 months old, and we are really working on some sort of schedule. The way his feeding schedule has been going, he needs to eat around 6 or 7 pm, and then I give him a bath and put his pj's on around 8 or 8:30 pm. The problem is that around 8 or 8:30, he gets really cranky and tired, and eventually passes out right before it is time to feed him again. If he takes a cat nap and wakes up for his last feeding, he doesn't want to go back to sleep. I would like for him to go to bed by 8:30 or so, but feeding him for the last time at 6 or 7 is too early, and waiting until 9 or 10 is too late.I have heard other moms say they just wake their baby for their last feeding, but mine doesn't want to go back to sleep. If this is making any sense to anyone, please advise. Thank you so much!

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A.S.

answers from Huntington on

If he sleep through the night I wouldn't worry about waking him up to feed him. I have a five year old and a six month old. My six month old eats her baby cereal around 7 o'clock and sometimes she doesn't eat a bottle before she falls alseep. So I don't think eating at 7 is to early at all. Hope this helps.

A.D.

answers from Austin on

my son at that age would eat supper (baby food) at around 5 and then he would nap in his swing around 6:30-7 for about 30 minutes. Just a cat nap to hold him over to bed. Then around 8 i would do the bath stuff and last feeding and off to bed before 9. That cat nap was wonderful because it wasnt worth trying to keep a baby happy when all he wanted to do was sleep. Plus it gave me a few minutes to clean up the dishes or do whatever. By the way the last feeding for me was a struggle too. I just tried my best to keep him awake by pinching or tickling his feet and saying his name everytime i saw his eyes roll back. Hope this helps!

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L.E.

answers from Nashville on

If you want to try to change the dinner schedule for a later time, closer to bath and bedtime, you can do it gradually by adjusting 15 minutes every night until you get to the time you would like. You could also try keeping him awake at the 8:30 time just suffering through the cranking moments and then feed him before he goes to bed. I always felt like the minute I got a schedule that was working for everyone it was time to change it. I think that is the way it goes. You are always trying to readjust when their bodies are readjusting. It is all a guessing game. Good Luck.

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S.B.

answers from Greensboro on

When my kids were four-month-olds, they were working into what I call the "4-hour schedule." They eat, play, and sleep; repeat. Print out an empty daily schedule from Outlook, etc. and shade in blocks that label what your baby is inclined to do at different times. Do this for 1-3 days.

I used to nurse my first baby right after a bath (because she was upset by bathing), before dressing her (use an absorbent lap pad, or at least diaper the baby first!). It looks like your baby is following the typical sequence within each four-hour block, except that the last block is less than 3 hours.

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A.R.

answers from Knoxville on

Maybe you can feed him at 7:30 or so then just put him to bed then. That's what I used to do but my baby woke up all hours of the night no matter what. Don't forget he will be on solids before you know it and this wont be such a problem because he will have both to fill him up.

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

He is staying up too late. A baby doesn't eat at 6 or 7, he eats at 5 or 5/30. Feed him early, then give a bottle at 6/30 and bed at 7. They need a full 12-14 hrs of sleep. If you feel that is not enough bottle, go to his dark room and put the bottle in his mouth, he shouldn't wake if you just feed him. If he does, you my have to try something else. Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

It is hard to figure out eating and sleeping schedules. Especially if this is your first child. When they are 4 month old they should be able to start sleeping through the night. If he is sleeping through the night then there is no reason to wake him to feed him. Even if he does not sleep all night long you should not have to wake him to feed him.
It sounds like you actually have it figured out. You don't need to worry about his last feeding. It seems that you have that taken care of before his bath time. If he is getting really cranky around 8:30 you could try moving his bath and bed time up an hour or a half an hour. I have a 3 year old boy, among a 13 year old and a 9 year old girl. The boy was a hard one to get to maintain a good schedule for. I read a book called baby wise, how to get your baby to sleep through the night and it was a life saver.
Really sounds like your doing well. That book may help.
Keep up the good work.

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P.G.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi L.~
A baby's schedule changes all the time. Maybe this is changing for him. I can remember my LO going to bed around the 9-10 pm hour and I would BF him before bed. Sometime starting around the 4th or 5th month it kept getting earlier. He then wanted to go to bed around 6-6:30 and he seriously slept through the night. This also may have to do with the fact that that's when he started daycare and I'm sure he was worn out. Then, because we moved and I wasn't working for a few months, around 9 months he was still wanting to go to bed early even though he was no longer in daycare. During this time he was only BF about 5-6 times a day so I felt he needed one last feeding so I would wake him around 9 or so but he would fall back asleep. I had to stop this around 10 months because then he wouldn't go back to sleep and then separation anxiety started. Now he's just happy going to bed sometime between 7-8pm and sleeps through the night. It seems once you get used to a schedule things just change. Try to let the baby make the schedule since that's what he will feel comfortable with and just try to go with the flow. Good luck! Paula G.

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J.H.

answers from Greenville on

even at four months eating at 7:30 will take them thru the night if they want more they will wake up for it ...feeding time may have to change to 8pm then bath time. try a 30 minute change see if that helps. good luck...mother of 5.

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I.W.

answers from Greensboro on

First of all, I would steer clear of any kind of schedule. Or at least a strict schedule. Routines are great, schedules not so. Watch his cues, not the clock, and there is your schedule. And count on it to continue to change.

Other moms are telling you he must go to bed earlier. I think it depends on the routines and order in YOUR house. My baby just happend to have a later bed time, yet slept later in the morning and took great long naps during the day. He always got the amount of sleep he needed within a 24 hour period, just in the order he wanted it. And it jived just fine with the rest of the household, so no problem.

My guess is he's saying either he's sleepy around 8:30 and needs that to be his bedtime for now or the bath is too relaxing and he's anxious to fall asleep soon after. Maybe delay the bath. Or simply let him stay up for a later feeding. I worry when you say "I would like for him to go to bed by 8:30 or so". Having a routine in your home will benefit baby and everyone else. But be wary of setting a time for eating and sleeping. Your baby will go through so many changes in this frist year, that almost as soon as you pick a time, he'll mature and hit growth spurts, and need to adjust those times. How is he napping during the day? How late does he sleep in the morning? All these will factor into his "bedtime."

Here are some links you may find helpful...

How Much Sleep Does My Child Need
http://askdrsears.com/faq/sl17.asp

Sleeping thru the Night
http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/sleep.html

Newborn Babies and Sleep
http://www.kellymom.com/pantley/pantley03.html

Will Giving Solid Foods at night help baby sleep longer?
(BTW, the answer is no. And be sure to check out the links at the bottom of this page. They are real eye-openers!)
http://www.kellymom.com/nutrition/solids/solids-sleep.html

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L.M.

answers from Lexington on

There are a lot of opinions on here. I think it depends on when he needs to get up. It's true, he needs 11-12 hours of sleep each night. If he's not getting up until 8:30, then that's fine. Keep that in mind when making your decision.

I've also found that it's better to do it 1/2 - 1 hour before they get really cranky. If mine got that cranky, it was harder to get them to sleep.

Good luck, and God Bless!

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S.C.

answers from Lexington on

I will echo a lot of the other advice that the bedtime should perhaps be earlier.
Our five month old gets his last bottle at 6:30 and he is off to sleep for the night!! He normally sleeps until anywhere between 5:30 AM (he'll eat and go back to sleep for an hour or two if he wakes that early) and 7 AM.
Yes, it makes us eat dinner VERY early if we want to bathe him then feed him (we'll eat at 5:30) but it makes for a much more pleasant evening. Or, sometimes we just wait till after he's in bed to eat our dinner.

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E.H.

answers from Greensboro on

L.,
Most babies at that age need to go to bed around 7 or 7:30. Try feeding him at 6, bath at 6:30-7, then bed. Feed him in the dark and don't talk to him while nursing. He will get the hint that it's still bedtime and will go back to sleep. If you have lights on, tv going he's going to think it's awake time. He needs absolutely no stimulation if you want him to go back to sleep after that last feeding.
For my kids, I fed them in their room with lights off and soothing music going while rocking them. No rocking chair? Just a regular chair will do as well. It will take a while to get him into this new schedule, but in the end it will be worth all the effort. Good luck.

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M.B.

answers from Lexington on

I would say he is staying up to late. He could go to bed much earlier and still sleep all night on just that earlier bottle. Have you tried that? Or if you have started solid food try feeding him that when he is ready to eat around 6 and give him a bath and top off with a bottle when he gets out of the bath. You probably could have him in bed by 8 and he would sleep better for it. A great book to read on the subject is "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"

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T.C.

answers from Nashville on

I would not wake him to feed, I would wait until he wakes up. this will start him setting his own clock and getting use to eating more during the day and sleeping more at night.

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J.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

i would definately adjust his schuedule earlier by a half and hour or so. My son is two now, and at that age, it was bathtime at 7, bedtime at 730. He was breastfed, so as long as he wasnt in a growth spurt, or teething, he would sleep until about 730, and play until 800am. It sounds like he is just getting too tired. I also would not wake him up to eat, he is old enough to make it through to the am, even if he eats last at 7. good luck!

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J.Q.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi L.,
I have a 4 month old daughter. She too usually has a bottle around 6-7 and then in bed around 7:30-8:30. I then lift her out of bed around 10:30 to give her another bottle. She usually sleeps through this feeding and even burping! Maybe your son doesn't stay asleep for his final bottle because he hasn't been asleep long enough? If you are trying to lift him out of his crib too soon after he fell asleep maybe he hasn't reached that deep sleep yet? Try waiting longer. Also, if you haven't tried Johnson & Johnson's calming bathwash you should, it's amazing! Even if your child is calm(like mine). Also, when you try lifting him out of his crib for the final feeding keep as few lights on as possible. Basically, my advise is try "setting the mood".
Good luck!!!
J.

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

try swapping the bath and the feeding. Give your baby the bath first at 7:00, then dress him slowly, then by 7:45 you can feed him. Somehow though, try NOT to get him in the habit of falling asleep while nursing, that will make it hard for him to learn to go to sleep on his own and he will need you. Good luck!

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V.C.

answers from Wheeling on

I didn't read all your responses, but wondered if anyone suggested holding off the bedtime feeding until AFTER the bath. That seems to me to be a simple and practical step to try.

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K.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi L.! I don't have any real advice, just a bit about my experience with my son. He was pretty much the same way- i eventually had to just give up and let him take a small catnap- I tried to move it earlier, and then around 10 I gave him a last bottle and put him down for the night. I was really tired, but it was the only thing that worked for us. He goes down at 8pm now, but that early of a bedtime didn't start until later. Actually, once he started sleeping through the night consistantly (6 months) I was able to move his bedtime up to 7 or 7:30. Now that he's on one nap I've had to push it back to 8 because he wakes from that nap at 3. Hope that helps (sort of at least!)- K.

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K.B.

answers from Louisville on

Hi L.! My son now 9 months was very much like your little one. Each night I started waiting about 15 or so minutes after his normal feeding time to adjust his schedule. They are all about routine but routines can be altered. Hold off on his bath a little bit. I know after mine gets a bath he's ready for his bedtime nursing session. So I try to push his bath to 8:45 or even sometimes 9 to help. If you can't hold off on the bath try engaging him longer in it to make up for the time. After a few nights of the new routine this should improve. I hope this helps some! Good luck to you!

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D.M.

answers from Asheville on

You probably should try putting him to bed around 7 or so. I have a 7 month old little girl who started sleeping through the night around 3 or 4 months and I quickly realized that she needed to go to bed earlier than 8 or 8:30. We put her down anytime between 6:30 and 7:30 and she'll sleep clear through until 6:30 or 7:30 the next morning. When babies get over tired they won't go to sleep, which sounds like that might be happening to your little guy. It would certainly be worth a try! It sounds funny to say, but the more they sleep...the more the will sleep. Once we started with that bed schedule, naps got easier, she went to bed at night easier...good luck!

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P.H.

answers from Louisville on

Don't wake him up to eat. If he's that hungry, he will wake up. That only starts a bad habit of eating late.
What I did with my son was breakfast (bottle and ceral), lunch (bottle and food-a meat, a veg. and a fruit), dinner (bottle and food-a meat, a veg. and a fruit), bath, then last bottle. He only got those 4 bottles a day, unless for some reason he was really hungry for some milk.
He started that schedule as soon as he started eating baby food. It worked quite well. The only "problem" i ran into was him falling asleep during his last bottle. But I would get him to finish it and them put him down for the night.

You may need to adjust his feeding times in order to get him to need that last bottle earlier. A few days of waking him up earlier and feeding him earlier should do the trick.

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M.H.

answers from Huntington on

I'm certainly no expert, but I have read a few books on bedtimes, naps, & feeding schedules, and I have a few suggestions for you. Using just the information you gave, my first recommendation would be to try an earlier bedtime. Every book I have read agrees that an earlier bedtime is key for helping get babies on a schedule and ensuring adequate sleep. We used to put our daughter (now 8 months old) to bed between 9-10pm with her last bottle being right before bedtime. When I took the advice of the experts and started putting her down way earlier (we changed the bedtime gradually), I found that she almost "fell" right into a schedule AND slept just as long at night. We now put her to bed between 7-7:30 and she sleeps until about 6-7am. If your baby is getting really cranky & tired and "passes out" before a feeding as you say, then he is overtired and needs an earlier bedtime. Also, most experts recommend to NOT wake your baby for a feeding, although I've heard some moms do this. It seems cruel to me to wake a sleeping baby. If they need to eat, they will wake themselves. Basically, I think your problem could be solved with a way earlier bedtime. It may sound drastic (it did to me at first!), but just give it a try and see what happens. You may find that your baby sleeps better and longer and doesn't really need that later feeding anymore!

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S.R.

answers from Memphis on

I remember running into this same issue with my LO around the same time. What I did was "top her off" around bedtime, even if she had just eaten an hour or two before. She would still eat. It seems even at that age they are still capable of doing a sort of cluster feed in the evening. In fact, she is 8.5 months old now, and will still eat a ton right before bed, even though she will have just eaten solids and had a bottle in the early evening. Just try feeding him them and see what happens. It may just be for comfort, but it will fill him back up (hopefully for a good part of the night).

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T.C.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi L.,
Why don't you try giving him a snack to tie him over, change his bath time to, around 6 or 7, then feed him just before he gets cranky, then put him down. In other words, switch the bath and feeding time. Maybe you could try it and see if that would work for you.
Best of luck to you!
T.

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A.H.

answers from Pine Bluff on

Sometimes when babies catnap instead of getting full sleep, that's what wires them. One thought is to bathe him BEFORE that 6 or 7 PM feeding instead of after, feed him, and put him straight to bed. Then he will be getting a full three to four hours before his late feeding instead of just a catnap, and he might be willing to go right back to sleep. Since he is cranky at 8:00 or 8:30, that means you've passed the sleepy window. Crankiness is actually a late sleep cue - many babies have already been sleepy for as much as an hour before the crankiness sets in! When you do get him up for that late feeding, keep the room very dark and don't really talk to him. Just snuggle him and be very relaxed yourself. It might still take a few nights to establish that routine of being sleepy at that hour, but it should begin to become a habit. Hope that helps somewhat!

C.C.

answers from Nashville on

L.,
Try reading the book "The Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. I used this book with my son when he was a baby 6 years ago and now I'm using it with my baby girl. She emphasizes using the E.A.S.Y. method with babies to get them on a good routine - Eat, Activity, Sleep, and You or "Mom" time. I started this with my daughter when she was first born and she started sleeping through the night at 4 weeks old! She is now 6 months old and has been on the same routine for the last few months. Tracy recommends putting your baby on a 3 or 4 hour eating schedule and the activity time should be anywhere from 1-2 hours at this age. Watch for signs of tiredness, like yawning, fussiness and rubbing eyes and they should take a good nap. Then, start the routine over. Our daughter was ready for bed by 7:30-8pm at 4 months so maybe you can move your baby's schedule back a bit. I know every baby is different, but this method literally changed our lives for the better!!! Good luck!

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F.J.

answers from Huntington on

I am also a 31 year old mother of a 4 month old daughter. CONGRATS!!! First of all, are you giving your baby veggies for supper? I thought it was too early when told this, but she isn't as cranky now. I think she was HUNGRY! I feed her when we have supper so she feels like she is eating good stuff like us (hehehe). Try to play with your baby for a while to use up the "extra energy" from his supper. It really doesn't take much. I took her to Wal-Mart and let her pick out her favorite toy. It has duckies that spin around!! I also bath her around 8 or 8:30. I breastfeed and bottle feed. I make sure she gets a bottle after her bath so I know exactly how much she has eaten and is full. (enfamil with iron) She usually sleeps until 1am and sometimes I've been lucky til 5am. Hope this helps...GOOD LUCK!! Just remember all kids are different and that's what makes them special!!!

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M.

answers from Memphis on

my youngest is 1 now...but we have been on this schedule for a while now...

he gets baby cereal at 12noon and fruti....some cereal at 8 after he has his first bottle....3pm he gets more milk/formula....5pm we feed him some veggies...adn a little fruit...offer more milk....6:30pm i give him a bath...after he is finshed with bath i offer him milk...and then off to bed he goes...now if he didn't have a nap he will cry a bit b4 going to sleep....and he usually sleeps to 8am....
is there a medical issue with you child...why would you have to wake him? if he is hungry he should wake on his own...

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