Natural Consequences

I sometimes have the yelling issue with my two year old daughter and I think it's just a matter of getting attention. I've found that at home or out I will ask her if she is done and start to take away her food. At that point she says "no, mine" like most 2 year olds and I tell her that if she wants to keep it she needs to stop playing/yelling and eat. At home, I do try to ignore longer before I start the concequences because what she really wants is for me to give her attention. When we are out, if she doesn't quiet down after threatnening or taking away her food, then I do take her outside- I don't find this embarrassing-anyone with kids has been in the same position and anyone without kids appreciates that you are respecting their dinner time by taking the noise outside. Once we are outside, I make it known that we are there because she could not behave and I pay her as little attention as possible-it's NOT playtime. It seems to be getting better and I try to praise her and give her attention when she is sitting quietly at the table-I also try to give her something to do- ie- books, coloring, ect.

I used to work in a small daycare and one child in particular loved to scream. Another boy loved to jump. We'd already tried the "outside voice/inside voice" instruction to no avail. We stumbled on this technique by accident and it worked like a charm: Just before lunchtime when all the babies were awake for feeding, in an adjacent room we held "scream/jump time" for 10-15 mins until they were wrung out. We screamed and jumped when the timer rang and they would fall down laughing, get up and resume the screaming/jumping. We teachers did too. Then when the timer went off it was to signal the END. Hilarious for all. We'd tell them to save that up for "scream time". After they ate lunch they were exhausted and napped well. HTH

The advice I have will only help you when you are home. When he starts screaming at the dinner table, calmly get him down and take him to his room and make him sit on his bed and walk out of the room closing his door. Let him yell in his room. If you do this everytimg it should last only a week before he notices that if he yells then he is going to his room. I hope that this works for you.

I had the same issue and although this is a little devious, it worked really well for us. My husband and I took my son out to a restaurant that he loves. I spoke to the waitress privately and told her that we were trying to teach my son a lesson about appropriate restaurant behavior. (We also tipped her $20.) We sat down and ordered our food. We made a point to order my son's favorite food and ice cream so that he would be excited to eat. (She didn't turn in the order.) As usual, my son started being very loud and jumping, leaping, hoping, skipping around... you know the drill. I told him to stop. He didn't. I told him that if he didn't stop, they were going to kick us out of the restaurant. He didn't. Then, as we had asked her to do, the waitress then came over and said that they don't allow screaming and running all over the restaurant so we were going to have to leave. We got up and left. My son couldn't believe it. Even at 3, he was embarrased. What can I say? It's a little strange but I'm telling you, it WORKED! Also, I try to only bring him to kid friendly restauants and also to engage him in conversations or coloring while we are waiting for the food. He is only a little boy after all!! Good luck to you!

Hi Ella,

You sound pretty overwhelmed, and rightly so. Your son may be yelling because he gets overstimulated in groups and public situations. When HE yells, he is controlling the sound in his ears. I would get ears tested (pediatric ENT) and do a lot of research on ADHD, as this behavior is typical -and he may not be able to control the "blurting out" behaviors, so this may require thinking about which activities you do and new behavior strategies. Call the Special Education/Birth to Three program, and speak with the speech pathologists and occupational therapists. If he will be 3 by the time school starts, the Early Childhood Intervention (ECI) program may be the right program.

If he were my child, I would find an audiologist, speech pathologist, or OT that is trained in AIT (Auditory Integration Training), as this can make a huge difference in his ability to process/assimilate sound appropriately, and will positively affect his behaviors. http://www.aitinstitute.org Sometimes there is a heredity component, and the other family members can benefit from it as well. The AIT is probably not something the schools will provide, and it is phenomenal.

How is his speech compared to his peers? It's not always an expressive problem-it could be a receptive or processing problem. A speech pathologist can test him and tell you if he has these issues.

I would get the pediatrician to make appropriate referrals and I would check into your health insurance for coverage that anything the school system does not cover. The schools are required by law to serve children whose health issues affect their ability to learn, yet this is oftentimes "basic" therapy and not as much hands on as kids need. If your son qualifies for school therapy services, then get proactive with other parents, find out who the good therapists are, and get him as much therapy while he is young, and hopefully he won't need it later.

The teachers, therapists, other parents and a school behavior specialist can help with appropriate behavior strategies. Good luck! jenifer

Why don't you yell and scream at home when he is watching a favorite cartoon , or when he is trying to tell you something ? And when he says please listen to me tell him ok now u see how mommy feels when you scream and shout when she is trying to do something she likes to do . G.

I think that Alicia is onto something. Keep him involved. If that alone doesn’t solve the problem, then he is done or he eats alone after you are finished. If he wants something to eat later, he gets the cold dinner. Tell him that if he would have been a big boy, he could have eaten when it was warm with mommy and daddy. I make dinner a production. (Not really, we light candles and use real plates and glasses.) It is a privilege to sit with mommy and daddy at the dinner table.
When in public, take him to the car for a time out. We drive an SUV, so I put the tailgate up and set her back there (I didn’t want her to associate timeouts with her car seat.) She was very embarrassed, as was I, but parents understood and appreciated me taking her out of the restaurant. When she calmed down, we returned to the table. This was embarrassing enough for her that I only had to do it once.
I also take my DD to a special mommy/daughter lunch on Wednesday afternoon at the Riverwalk. We get all dressed up (she gets to dress herself and I help guide her decisions, but if she insists, she wins-people understand, if not who cares.) and she gets to pick the place as long as it is a nice restaurant. We work on manners. She thinks it is pretend, but learns how to eat with adults. You could do it at home too, just make it special and if he acts up, it is over. Tell him “I guess you aren’t big enough to have a special time with mommy.” He will beg you for it.
When you are out make sure that you priase him for being good. Make a big deal about how big he is.

i agree to an extent that he's just being 2 =) however, i think the underlying issue might be that he is not paid enough positive attention at mealtime. do you talk with your hubby at meals? if so, he might just want to be talked to as well! 2 yr olds are more than capable of carrying on a simple conversation. you should teach him now while he's young that mealtime is a great opportunity to have meaningful conversation with your family and friends! talk to him about the food (is your sandwich yummy? are you taking big bites like a lion or tiny bites like a mouse?) or just talk to him about your day (did you have fun playing this morning? what would you like to do after dinner?). i'd say don't address the yelling at all. when he realizes it doesn't get a reaction from you anymore he will probably move on to some other annoying little activity LOL as most 2 yr olds are good at! oh, and about the restaurants...make sure you go to a kid-friendly one like denny's or IHOP or something where your child isn't expected to behave like an adult

Go to the public library and check out a video called "Magic 1,2,3." It has helped many parents. I gave this suggestion to several friends and they had positive results. You have to stay very consistent with it, even in public, but you can do it with a quite tone. You can also google it in and see what you come up with as far as finding this technique. It works up to a certain age and your child is at the perfect age for this. Blessings your way, I know it is frustrating. P.S. I recieve emails from an organization on "parenting tips." It is biblical based and has some very good suggestions. Here is there web site: www.biblicalparenting.org In addition, I know you have a new baby on the way and that can be difficult for your child, but try the Magic 1,2,3 and affirm your love during the process. Be Encouraged!
I actually found a web site for the Magic 1,2,3

http://www.parentmagic.com/

This sounds like a little test of the boundaries...you may need to get really firm with it, but it may be at his age that he just likes the sound of his voice and the attention he's getting. You might want to consider slapping his hands or thigh when he does it and telling him no in a very firm voice...and,the time out thing does NOT work for kids that age...First, they have very short attention spans, about 2 min. for every year they are alive!!! So, you need to discipline asap when the problem arives...so that he will connect the problem with the discipline and not be confused by later punishments. Second, reasoning with a child that is so small is also nearly useless...because the reasoning part of their brains isn't even close to starting to devolope. That starts at about 5 years old. Use small, simple words and make it unpleasant for him right away.

Lastly, people know that babies are a little crazy and like to show off in public. If public eating is something you do a lot and really need him to go along with, you could even use some sort of special toy that he only gets to play with in restaurants...and that really keeps his attention. I would suggest treats of some kind, but I'm sure you don't want to raise a kid that associates food with rewards:)

Just keep working on it...this is just a phase and he'll move on soon enough.

Time for a spanking. Wow,is your child walking all over you. He is in control,not you.

A friend of mine said every time her son would yell or act out during dinner when they went out to eat, they would turn his highchair around (he was 2) and make him face strangers. This embarrassed him, and he eventually stopped after about 6 or so times. My children do this a lot at home, and I always just threaten to put them straight to bed, and it usually works. Good luck!
C.
Wife, stay at home mom to 3, ages 8, 3 and 2.

welcome to the terrible twos! From what I understand in the spectrum of being one of those "nurturing parents" you're supposed to take him to the car for time out if out in public. I hate to laugh but the whole waterhose specticle is too funny, from an outside point of veiw. I've considered doing with my child what I do with the dogs when they bark, use a squirt bottle and ready aim fire. But I really can't tell you. I'm a parent that believes in spanking. So probobly would have given him a slight tap on the mouth. But discipline is a touchy subject with some parents. So I would take everything with a grain of salt and use the parts you want.

I am not sure if this will work on a 2 year old but it did on my 5 year old. We simply started talking in whispers at home when he began yelling. Eventually he had to be quiet to hear what we were saying and not just adults but I had 3 older children who took pleasure in the game so they also joined in. It took a few times and unfortunitly we were pretty confined to the house until it took hold. There are some times in your life that it just is not the right thing to go out if your party is behaving badly. No shame in staying at home. I am convinced he yelled simply because he loved the sound of his voice and the wonderful sounds he could make. He is a fine young man now, still loves the sound of his voice only now he loves to talk, but in quieter tones.

This reminds me of a song "Roll With It"! There is not much you can do but laugh. Seriously, I would just do whatever works best for him, which is different for every kid, and make the meal as fast as you can when he starts. If he goes on and on, people will get annoyed, but if they see you dealing w/ it in some way, and not just taking your leisurely time, they should understand, depending on where you are. He will outgrow this phase, just get ready for the next ! (Just wait a year or two when he starts noticing people that are "different" and starts pointing and calling them names, such as, "That man's so fat!" "Why does that lady look like a boy?" etc. :) ) Parenthood takes a good sense of humor, and an even better skill at hiding it!

If you are in a restaurant that gives out crayons and paper, you could take that away from him until he stops, if that happens to work - just an idea. Good luck.

Take care!

My daughter used to do this in HEB when she was 2. The one thing I didn't want to do was leave the store because that's EXACTLY what she wanted me to do. She was telling me that she was bored and wanted to be in control. Talking to her in whispers seemed to help the most. I would have to talk to her enough to distract her and get her mind off of the screaming. It would take some time, and sometimes I would be ready to cry before I was successful, but nothing worked any better.

We were lucky that she really didn't like the church nursery (because Mommy and Daddy weren't there) so when she acted up in church we were able to take her there and she wasn't winning.

As for leaving a restaurant, I think that would help with the screaming issue for the future ONLY if the child WANTED to stay and eat at the restaurant. Otherwise, at least in my case, my child would have ended up getting what she wanted: going home and getting me all to herself without our friends around, even if it meant not eating. What has worked for us in the past is what someone else mentioned: choose noisy, noisy restaurants. One that a friend recommended when his kids were young enough to act up was TGI Friday's. Plenty of commotion so you'll be a little less noticed, and a nice kids' menu. I also noticed that my daughter was less likely to scream in louder places; maybe she got less bored with more activity to watch?

For all three of my children, I taught them what I was expecting out of their mouth by covering their mouth (NOT THEIR NOSE) until I got the response I wanted. With your son, I would tell him not to yell and then cover his mouth (at age 2 you would have to do so pretty hard at first). If he fights me - which he will at first - then as I am covering his mouth, I would pick him up and take him to the bathroom if I'm in public. Do NOT let go until he stops yelling. You're holding him and you're stopping the noise. None of my kids could stand it and would rather stop screaming than be restrained this way. Reassure him that you will let go as soon as he quiets down. And, then keep your promise - even if he stops just to get breath to get louder. Then, let go and when he lets out another one - stop that scream with your hand. If you do so correctly - he won't bite you, mine didn't. But if they did - then they would get a spanking. You are controlling the noise and your son. Don't let him win. It's a game to him - so play along. Let him know the new rules to the game and Just make sure you win! Do this enough at home - and you won't have to do it much in public.

Have you had his hearing checked by a specialist? The fact that he likes hearing himself in the restroom makes me wonder even more.

As far as him laughing, he's reading you....It doesn't say how you all respond (facially or verbally).

Have you tried demonstrating an invisible ruler and saying we can only talk "this far" when we eat. You will have to demonstrate this over and over. Best wishes!

Assuming you go with your husband, decide ahead of time who is leaving the restaurant and just do it (your friends should be the least of your worries)- he'll learn that he then goes home, and goes to bed early and hungry - he'll stop. Same with home - no one likes going to bed hungry - it doesn't hurt them at all!

My daughter gets very vocal when we are at meals as well and what works for us is turning her chair around to face the wall if she gets too loud when we are eating at home. She does it for a second more than realizes that there is no one looking at her or paying attention to her. As soon as she stops making the noise we praise her for being quite and turn her back around to join us. If she starts up again nothing is said we just flip her around to the wall again and start the process over. Good luck!

In the restaurant, I would ask for to-go boxes and leave, and not try dining out with him until he knows how to behave in public (except like chuck-e-cheese where its OK for him to be loud). It isn't rude to your friends, what is rude is staying in a restaurant where other people are trying to enjoy a meal and them having to listen to your kid scream.

I would try to solve the problem at home and then take him out in public. I would do as Karen suggested and send him to his room then have him eat alone after the rest of you are done.

Edit: i love Wanda's response, it sounds so simple yet i never would have thought of it.

When my boys got old enough to talk back... you know the lound "no" or "your mean" or simply screaming when it was time to leave a play group. I would put a drop of tabasco sause on their toung right away,(on my finger then in their mouth) sit them down and tell them that their behavior was not a great choice. Then I would ask them to wait a few minutes, and then we could talk about the behavior. After 3 boys... this trick has worked great, and it didn't take but a few weeks for them to get the message. (I would carry a small bottle of tabasco in my purse) Pretty soon all I had to do was show them the bottle, and the action stopped. It is a simple solution with out long term efects and dosen't hurt them, except for a few minutes of an uncomfortable toung. And unlike spanking, or ignoring, it stops the action.. and sends a message.
I am sure with all this advice you will find something that works... but for certain this behavior is not okay for family dinner time.
Best of luck!! You are doing a great job!!

hi Ella,,
have you asked his Dr about this?? does it happen every day ??? any time or just at meal time???anything esle sit him off ?? please get back to me ok
L.

Hello Ella,

Hope this comment will help. I think that letting your son know that no one whats to listen to outside noises at the dinner table, and that if he wants to continue than people may not want to sit and eat with him. And when it continues, which it will, everyone get up and leave him at the table alone for a while, to get your point across that no one else likes it, and they don't have to be around him. Maybe that will work. Good luck.

It sounds like you're trying everything you can, I can't think of anything.
BUT I wanted to let you know. Don't be embarrassed when you are in public and doing time outs etc.
I would much rather see a parent attempting to control their child than doing nothing.
Thank you for realizing your not the only diner in a restaurant. Good Luck

Does your Dr. know of this problem if not let him or her know important.

Natural consequences are not about making him feel bad, they are about teaching him appropriate behavior. If he goes outside and plays, he is engaging in appropriate outside behavior. If you are going to put him outside, I would do it every time, no matter where you are.

When he starts yelling, I would whisper at him and ask him if he can whisper more softly than you. Make it into a game. I would also play food time games with him where you practice using a soft voice when you eat. If he continues, I would say something along the lines of "Ouch, you are hurting my ears. If you need to be loud, you won't be able to eat with the family. When you are ready to use a soft voice, we would love to have you back." Move him to another location and then have lots of fun continuing dinner.

Be sure to praise him when he does act appropriately. Positive reinforcement works just as well, if not better, than negative. He will eat up all that praise.

Is he still in his high chair? You might want to try letting him sit in a chair. Talk about it for a few days before hand, building up the big boy thing, and talking about how he has to use a soft voice in the big boy chair, just like mommy and daddy. He could be tired of sitting there and a change of location may help.

Dear Ella,
What came to me right away was that your son is trying to express something important to him. Have you talked to him about the new baby coming and that Mommy and Daddy have enough love for 2 children, you will love him just the same and you need his help to take care of the baby , etc? I feel he is nervous of the impending birth and that life for #1 son, will change but he is not sure what to expect. Can you talk to him (not in a restaurant) about his feelings about the birth of your 2nd child and assure him of your love and that you will need his help to take care of the baby ? Try this and see if this is the issue. I like the way you put him outside for his outside voice, by the way. But there needs to be time when he can share his feelings, like reading books with you, etc. Good luck ! Mama K.

Whenever my kids have acted up in public, I give them one fair warning including what I call the "ear boxing"...which is where you firmly pull their ear slightly downward while talking firm in their ear. It gets the point across and it stings, but doesnt do any real harm. I let them know they do it again, and we stop whatever we are doing and leave. And I have left restaurants, stores, and other errands.

Also, I have also started walking away from them should they start a tantrum. It always works because a) they aren't getting the attention they need and are desperately looking for and b) they don't like the sensation of mommy walking away.

I let my kids know that whenever my kids acted up, they lost privileges like TV, the park, coloring, anything that was important to them, including sleeping toys for night time or the night light. All these things have allowed them to understand I do not put up with tantrums and that their actions have consequences.

So when you are in public, don't take the time to acknowledge the problem in the bathroom; half of the embarrassment for the child is that I would deal with them in front of the audience they created. Also, if you walk them to the bathroom, you are allowing the child to take control because they know that they have a means to interupt you and what you are doing to "deal with them"...at that point, negative attention is better than no attention, in the eyes of a child.

Last, at home, when your child acts up, firmly state if they do it again, they will sit in time out. You start time out for the length of their age, so if hes 2, 2 minutes. But you do not start the time out until he starts acting the way you want in the corner. If he starts yelling, let him know that you will start counting again once he is acting the way you want him to. If it takes 30 minutes, then so be it...but while you are doing that, go back to you meal and ignore him. Do not talk to him otherwise outside of the fact that he is getting too noisy. Let him know that he will come back to his meal only if he sits quietly in his time out, and once he has successfully done that, have him apologize to you and whomever else for his behavior. Once he has done that, let him go back to his dinner or whatever activity.

Do not worry about associating one activity to another...he needs to know that his actions warrant consequences outside of the activity at hand. As for outtings with friends, let him know you want him to go if he's a big boy who can behave, otherwise he won't get to go...which means you will have to do it on your own time. But stay strong and let your friends know up front, if he acts up and doesn't start behaving, I will have to cut my part of the dinner short. The friends will understand and be grateful you aren't allowing your child to make a scene. It is why I make sure I always had my car in the beginning in case I had to do this.

I will say this, due to the time out, taking away items, and the ear boxing, I don't have any problems in public and at home I don't get too many problems either. My kids are well behaved and I don't have to worry about being embarrassed every time I go out to run errands or enjoy an outting. My kids want to be part of the errands and outtings and understand Mom means business...i have no qualms embarrassing them back and getting up and leaving and later taking away privileges.

Just stand firm and don't relent...your child will behave the way you want with minimal frustration on your part.

You are doing great and consistency is the key. I gave this a lot of thought and you may have to leave the restaurant; just let your friends know ahead of time. Calmy explain once you are home why you had to leave and that the family can try again. But there isn't dinner once he gets home. This is the hardest part. Children really can make it to breakfast. Keep up the good work, its nice to see similar parenting.

Hi,
Why don't you try turning his chair around. Tell him he can have a meal with you guys when he behaves better. Every time he screams turn him around. Let him know that until he stops he will remain turned away and the rest of you continue as if he isn't there. State it matter of factly and keep a straight face and by all means do exactly what you say without waivering. If you let him see that you are having fun without him and he sees others reactiions around him his tune will change.

He's being 2 years old. Ignore him. The more attention you give his yelling, the more enjoyable it'll be for him. Restrooms have great acoustics because of the pipes. Yelling in there is more fun than at the table. He's not meaning to be defiant, and he's not even being "terrible" (reference to "terrible twos"). He's just exploring. The first time he heard his voice that loud, you probably went nuts. That encouraged him to continue. He is not making the connection between yelling at the table and storytime, so don't discontinue the reading. Putting him outside is a treat. In doing that, you're teaching him to yell when he wants to go outside. How beautiful that he can make the most of that time outside!

Don't be embarrassed when he yells. People expect small children to be animated. Thos ewho have a problem with it will roll their eyes. You can roll yours, too. They understand when children do something that makes us look "out of control". Get over that because you'll make yourself crazy. He's either doing it to get your attention or to hear his big booming voice. You can only control your response to it. Ignore him. Or spend the next couple of years running and hiding and being stressed out. Meanwhile, his brother/sister will learn the same behavior, and you'll have a few more years. You'll run yourself ragged, for sure.

Hi Ella,

Try ending the meal after he is given one chance to discontinue the behavior no matter if at home or out. I have used the method of telling my children what type of behavior I expect on the way to a restaurant. Something like this, "We are going to XYZ restaurant right now and I want you to use your inside voices. If you decide to yell or act ugly, we will leave right away. Mommy and daddy like to be able to take you out to eat with us, but if you can't behave and enjoy this special time with us we will get a babysitter the next time." One thing I always do is follow through. If I make a parenting statement (good or bad) whatever I said would happen, happens. Sounds like you are doing the right thing. I can remember we had to just stop taking my oldest to restaurants for about a year. Don't take away the books. In fact, maybe use something educational for punishment. My oldest spent his 5 year old summer reading because he was in so much trouble he couldn't watch TV or anything. That resulted in his love for reading.

Good luck!
C.

This is a control thing. So, explain to him before you go in what you expect from him - We are going in here to eat and I expect you to follow the rules. When the yelling begins, explain in your regular voice, do not yell over him, and let him know he can choose to yell and there really isn't much you can do to stop it, but you can choose where and let him know that others including yourself are there to eat and he is hurting your ears and ask him nicely to stop. If he chooses to continue, then take him out to your car and have him sit inside by himself to yell. You just have to let the resturant people know you will be back shortly. Then, let him yell by himself all he wants. Every now and again open the door and politely ask him if he is through and if he would like to join the rest of you inside to eat. The most important thing in this is that he eventually gives in and chooses on his own to go in and follow the rules. It takes the longest time the first time,but after that, they get that no matter what they choose, they still have to follow the rules and eat, go to church, go to the store etc... If you leave every time he acts up then he learns that he has control and can get you to leave when he isn't having fun. He needs to be taught that other people have wants and feelings and that it isn't all about him. When my two kids ages 2 & 3 try to cry or whine out in public, I say, if you feel the need to cry, we can go out to the car, but honey, nobody in here wants to hear that. It hurts there ears. So do we need to go tot the car or are you bette now? 9 times out of ten they say they are better and we continue on. They know I will have them stay in the car until church services are over before we will leave. I have the a/c on, but not real cool so they get uncomfortable as well. In south Texas, I have to get in the car with them, because it is too hot outside for me, but I tell them that until they are ready to go back inside, I am going to read, And that is exactly what I do. I have a book or magazines stashed in the car. I've balanced my checkbook, cleaned the car, but I do not talk to them or look at them until they say they are ready to go back in. Then I say great and we go back in. I can't remember the last time I've actually had to take them to the car. They know I will do it and so just asking the question is enought ot get them to act properly. It is embarrasing at times, but I know that I would rather be embarrassed about my 2&3 year old not beig able to control themselves than my 10 or 15 year old! Best of luck and hope this helps you. Your son knows he has control of the situation and that is why he keeps doing it. Once you show that you are in control then he will make better choices. There are several things we can not make our children do -- EVER. You can't make them stop crying, but you can control where they do it. You can't make them eat, but you can control what is offered, when it is offered, and where. You can't make them control their bodily functions, but you can control what happens afterwards. You can't make them sleep, but you can control where they lay down to sleep and when. It is their body and they have choices like the rest of us. I feel part of our jobs as parents is to teach them so they can understand how to make good choices. This is done with practice and eventually they learn the routine and what is expected.

you could try sticking with noisey resturants when going in public that way you do not have to sweat his vocal abilities... if you give him attention about yelling he is naturally going to keep it up because he got you... maybe if you have not tried this yet ignore him and carry on like you do not hear him and if he is not getting the response he wants from you he may stop notice I said may (of course do this at home). Any way who knows why kids do what they do and good luck in your choices

Well, I'm not sure if this is the best, long-term solution... However, I give my 2 yr old gummy bear vitamins. She thinks it is a treat... We had a problem of her dumping/mixing her water into her food. I know, its normal... But it didn't help get the food in her stomach... So, I eventually told her that if she ate her meal without doing that, she would earn the "bubba bear vitamin". It took, 1 to 2 weeks for significant improvements. Maybe the same will work for you... However, I would suggest that the particular behavior you want him not to do be specifically communicated. General terms like "you need to behave well" doesn't mean anything to a 2 yr old. More like, if you want the "X-treat" you need to only use your inside voice; no yelling. And there still will be times where yelling happens... but hopefully not everytime!

Hi Ella-

It's always harder in public places so I'd concentrate on ending this habit at home and hopefully it will carry over into the restaurants as well. If it were me, I would give one warning and if he laughs or continues to yell, the meal would end and he would be sent to his room. When the rest of the family has finished eating I would allow him to sit at the table by himself and finish the original plate of food. It seems to me that it's primarily an attention getting action so if the result of his actions is being by himself in the bedroom and by himself at the dinner table he'll catch on. As far as restaurants go I would either avoid restaurants until you have it under control at home or go into the restaurant knowing that you might have to leave and follow the same process as at home. Take him out to the car for a timeout until everyone else has finished eating. Wrap his plate up and let him eat it at home alone when you get there.

Good Luck!
K.

I would set up some practice runs with some friends or just you. Explain to them ahead of time...take cash to pay the bill. As soon as it happens I would swoop him up and leave. You could have your friend pay the bill and bring you a to go bag or choose somewhere cheap and just leave the food. I am sure it would only take a few times before it changes. Especially if you choose his favorite place. Good luck and lest me know how it goes if you try it. I have heard to try this for misbehavior at he grocery store too.