Naptime in Trouble

DEAR L.,
IT ALWAYS WAS MY VERY STRONG CONVICTION TO HAVE THE BABY ON A VERY CONSISTANT SCHEDULE. UP IN AM, BREAKFAST,THEN LEARNING TIME, THEN PLAYTIME(really play hard-wear her out) LUNCH--BATH--NAP!!!
Do this on a regular basis even if the child doesn't get
to sleep at firt. She will soon get the idea that this is the way things are supposed to go. I beleive she will adapt to
this schedule even, if it's different than I suggest.Be ridgid! Be unwavering-even strict!!
I wish you all the patience you can muster--at first-it'll be quite a challenge- for YOU
Good Luck!!
C. S

My oldest was the same way. She completely dropped her naps by the time she was two. It was very hard but some kids really don't need as much sleep as others. She is now 4 and is a bright and very active child.

Good Luck!
D.

In addition to what Dor B said, naps are very important as this is for developmental reasons. Children this age NEED about 10-12 hours of sleep at night. Napping length can very per the child.

1) does she have enough intake? meaning milk and food? If not, they are basically always hungry and starving and not satisfied and cannot sleep. I don't mean feed her like a goldfish, but I've seen many babies that don't intake enough or don't feed well and it's not good.
2) is she gaining weight/growing appropriately? If not, this can cause a problem, it means she is not intaking enough.
3) does she have allergies or digestion problems?
4) is she sick or anything?
5) put her to nap in the SAME place at the SAME time, everyday.
6) put her to nap while she is still awake. A baby/child has a pattern of: awake, eat, play, sleep. After about 2-3 hours of "awake" time, they will get tired. Don't wait for her to tell you if she's tired... YOU put her to nap/sleep at the same time, and have the SAME pre-nap routine everyday. They will get used to it. Kids need routine and knowing what comes next. (7) example: my 20 month old still takes 2 naps a day. Morning at 9:30 and afternoon at 2:30 and he sleeps for 2 hours each. He wakes, I feed him, play, then give him his milk, change his diaper, put on his favorite SHORT DVD or read a book, pick him up, sing him the SAME song, put him down in crib, make room dark, give him his pacifier and stuffed cow he loves to sleep with, walk out of the room and close the door. He is still awake when I put him down, but he falls asleep on his own. I do the same routine at night for bedtime. I've done this SAME routine with him since he was a baby... even through his developmental changes and sleep interruptions I kept it the SAME... and now, he knows when is nap time/sleep time and goes with no protest. He will even tell me when it's time to nap and will sometimes take my hand and lead me to his crib.
8) at your girls age, they still need 2 naps. Keep trying.
9) when babies/kids are over-tired this will actually make them more resistant and they will actually get more "hyper" too sometimes. Or if they are over-stimulated as well. Pre-nap or sleep, I calm things down and make things more mellow. Make sure to allow for a child to "wind-down." Don't rush them off to bed...they have to "transition" too. They need to unwind.
10) Don't just try to get her to nap when she "seems" tired.... by this time it may be too late. Put her down at a certain time. The SAME time everyday.
11) at times of developmental leaps, this can interfere with their sleep. They are changing so much and cognitively as well too. But, through this, keep to the same routine and they will go back to their pattern.
12) each child is different... my firstborn was like your daughter.. but I kept at it, and kept to a routine. She was very spirited, but she would go down. Even now at 5 years old, she will nap after school. She "knows" this is the routine. If she doesn't nap she gets very grumpy and fussy. I know her too well and know she needs a nap. Now, she will even tell me "Mommy I'm going to nap now" and she goes in her room and lies down.
13) with my girl, she is also noise sensitive, more than the normal person. So, I have to keep things quiet for her in order for her to sleep. My boy on the other hand, will nap well despite.
14) if all else fails, there is "co-sleeping." I have done, and still do this too. If my boy wakes up in the middle of the night I pick him up and co-sleep with him. I did this with my first born too. But remember, it's not for everyone, and it will be a "habit" once a child gets used to it. Like any other routine or habit. :)

Hope this helps, I know it's not easy. Keep trying.
Take care,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

To get my daughter on a regular-ish schedule for naps I take her on a drive at arround the same time each day. She always falls asleep in the car. It has seemed to work lately

I have a 14 month old who is down to one nap a day and I understand that's about normal at this age. Especially if they're sleeping through the night which mine does. I know that my son is usually ready for a nap anywhere between 3-1/2 to 4 hours after he wakes up in the morning. Based on that I'm able to arrange my schedule around that time. Do you have a routine? A routine is important and will help your daughter know that naptime is coming. I'm still nursing so our routine is I make sure he has a clean diaper, give him his teddy bear, close the blinds and nurse him until he's drowsy and then put him down. I was given excellent advice by a friend of mine that seems to have been the key. She said that even if the baby doesn't actually go to sleep when you put them down they need to know that it's quiet time and this is where they are going to be for at least the next hour. How they choose to use that time is up to them. Sometimes he goes right to sleep, other times he plays with his ocean/music soother. Maybe he'll fall asleep or maybe he'll spend the whole hour fussing and crying but it's time to rest and that's where he's going to be and I don't try to soothe, cajole or talk to him during that hour. I'll probably jinx myself by saying this but more often than not he takes a nap because he knows now that it's the best option. Good luck!

She's ready for one nap. This means she can hold out longer until naptime. It took me a couple of weeks to figure that out with my son flip flopping between one and two naps. I finally decided to just wait until he appeared to be tired. So instead of him taking his first of two naps after being awake for 4 hours, he started taking his one and only nap at around 6 hours of being awake.

My son is not on a rigid schedule, it's a very flexible one. He may have "slept through the night" at a bit later age (6 months) than my friends who had their kids on fixed schedules, but we were always able to take him out all over the place with us. He's able to nap anywhere. I chose that route, because I saw my sister do it with her kids. She only had to move them to a specific bedtime when they were hitting school age. Now, my friends envy us. We don't have to rush home at naptime, because he'll only sleep in his crib. And, we don't have to turn down invites to events after 7pm. Our son is acclimated to our loose schedules. And everybody says that he's the happiest baby, now toddler, ever.

Hi L.,

My son took two naps at this age. My daughter took one nap. Each child is different. Nap time was always the same time each day and if she could not sleep she had to stay in her room for "quiet time". After a few days napping was routine. Sometimes she would not sleep but the quiet time helped. Bedtime always remined the same.

For my daughter and I, moving to one nap actually increased the amount of sleep she was getting.

I'd say that if you're struggling that much with naps, it's a sure sign she's ready for just one - and hopefully it will turn into a two hour one.

i am not an advocate of CIO, so the book "the baby whisperer solves all your problems" really helped me.

I was having the same problems, so I tried having quiet time. We go back and I tell her, "as long as the music is playing, we will be right here having quiet time" then I put the music on and let her roam the bed and just relax for between 1/2 an hour to an hour. Sometimes she sleeps, sometimes she doesn't, but it helps to let me relax and not overreact to her and she is most often reenergized. We are down to one nap a day, though. I am trying to push that one back a little further. She will sometimes try taking a late afternopn nap, but then she is up later than normal.
The biggest thing to remember is to listen to your child. Don't get to attachted to trying to Make her sleep, because it is really frustrating for one when one tries to control kids. One must remember that they are little People, and respect their needs.
Good luck
R.

Ok. you can spend your life in a darkened room singing softly and hopelessly trying to get her to go to sleep, or you can go out and do stuff, and then if she falls asleep, you just go home and let her sleep. One thing I learned about motherhood (especially after having my second one) is that you can't control everything, and sometimes the harder you try, the worse the situation becomes. So just start your day with 2 plans:

A: after breakfast, take a brisk walk to the playground, play, then go food shopping, then have lunch, then go to story time at the library, stop by the playground again, then go home and make dinner, bath-story-bed

B: after breakfast, walk to playground, on the way home she falls asleep - GREAT - everyone gets a nap, or you get to mop the floor, then go food shopping and skip the story time but go back to the playground.

Just be flexible and learn how to transfer her from stroller or car seat to her bed without waking her, or else, park your car in a shady garage and let her sleep there while going about your business. Her life is going to be FULL of changes, so be prepared to just go with the flow. Surround yourself with other parents that are going through or have gone through your same struggles and you will be able to swap strategies. There is always a good library story time or some other free program to go to and meet people and then you can talk about what other activities are available in your area (playgroups, parent/child classes, etc.) and then start going. She is at a great age to start getting out and socializing and it might even make her tired!!

Good luck!!

L.,'t i am a mother of 3 grown kids, and at 13 months they took one nap a day, I know a lot of new moms don't agree with this, but I rocked my kids to sleep for naps and at night, sang to them while i rocked them, and they slept more peacefully than my friends kids who would just lay their kids down fully awake, children go through different sleep and eating patterns during their tottlers years. For a 13 month old to nap once a day, to me that's normal. If you would like to discuss more, i have been a mom for 24 years. e-mail me ____@____.com J.

The only way I could get my daughter to nap at all by 13 months was to go to one nap a day about noon-2. She was tired too a lot of the time but at least then I wouldn't spend soooooo much time trying to get her to sleep and then have her sleep for 20 minutes. She just wasn't a great daytime sleeper which really frustrated me.

Go to one nap--it will suck initially but overall you will benefit.

Patience,

If your child is switching from two naps down to one it is a challenging time for both of you. It's so hard when our children don't cooperate with the things we know are best for them. It often seems like forever when we are in a struggle like you describe yet if you calendar it these upsets often resolve themselves in a matter of days, weeks, or perhaps a month and then we get ready for the next one. Remain firm, clear, and create a space to rest in each day, enjoy it yourself, expect her to be quiet and still and let sleep come as it may. Eventually it is likely she will rise to your expectations again. Enjoy the process and trust in your love.

L. Hinrichs
mom, teacher/director and Resource for Infant Educarers Associate

PS Check into RIE.org and the books of Magda Gerber for more support

Rest assured (no pun intended) it is normal for babies at this age to go down from 2 naps a day to only one nap. Although you probably looked forward to her naptimes so that you can have your own time (I did the same) babies at this age are more active, especially if they are walking, or cruising around. Try to get her out and about so that she can tire faster and be ready for her one nap. Take her to the park to play with other kids, let her play outside with the flowers, walk around the neighborhood explainig the scenery, etc. She now needs more stimulation because she no longer is a baby, she is a toddler :)I am a 32 y/o mother of an active 16 month old girl and had to do the above so that my daughter could at least take 1 nap, which is somewhere after lunch time which is just after returning from the park or playing outside. My daughter sometimes gives my husband and I a little struggle at bedtime, but if she is exhausted, she usually goes down without a fight. Good Luck to you and your "baby girl"

Hi L.,
I understand your concerns. All four of my kids transitioned from morning nap and afternoon nap to one a day around 10-11 months and I was so concerned. Once I allowed for it to happen, I fed them lunch around 11 and then put them down at 11:45 or so and they would take a 3 hour nap and then go back down for the night around 7:30 or 8 and sleep until 6:30 or 7 the next morning. It may not seem like she is getting enough sleep, but her body will adjust now that she is learning new things and having more awareness to things she likes to do. It is hard for a little one to want to nap when there is so much to see and learn at this age. Try for a few days to let her go a little longer without a morning nap and see how she does, she may replace that morning nap sleep with a longer night of sleep.

When my 3rd. & 4th. babies came those poor kids never got a real nap because of running their older sisters to school and activities, that showed me that it all works out. My two youngest are 4 years and 2 years old now and they have not suffered at all from not having a great nap schedule, don't worry, it will all work out! You are obviously a very loving mommy, so your sweet baby girl is already a very lucky little one!!

God bless you & your family,
W. :)

my daughter (now 15 months) used to be the same way. honestly, I had "nap fights" with her constantly until we dropped the 2nd nap. I was torn because according to all the sleep books I had read (pretty much all of them) had said she wasn't getting enough sleep. but I couldn't have the "nap fights" anymore with her screaming not wanting to go down and me getting so angry with her. Didn't make sense. SO - now I put her down between 1 and 1:30 (she wakes up in the morning at 8 or 8:30) and she goes down so easily. She is also one that if I try to put her down when she first starts showing tired signs, she will fight me for 2 hours. I think some kids just have to be EXHAUSTED. The books try to make you think that every kid is the same, but as much as I've read and read and read and experiment with my daughter's copious sleep issues, the more I think the books are wrong and that every kid is different. Hope this helps.

She is probably teething. My daughter s 15 months old and getting her molars (ouch!) it's like us getting our wisdom teeth. Infant Motrin and Hylands teething tablets. Good luck !

something to remember - if you don't the present schedule, relax, it will change in six weeks or so.
we had quiet time. they didn't have to sleep, but they did have to stay in their room and look at books or play very quietly. sometimes they fell asleep, sometimes they didn't, but it was a good habit and programed in some down time for all of us.
M., mother of four - ages 22-15.

L.,
what time does she wakes up in the morning?
what time does she goes to sleep at night time?
what time do you want her to take her nap?

the schedule for each children is different, for example I am a Home Child Care Provider and I have 6 children with different ages, from 3 1/2 months up to 3 1/2 years old.
If they wake up early in the morning which they do, ate breakfast play outside for 1 hour before nap which is at 10:00 am, they sleep better and have a much better day.
trust me works for me 100%
is just to form her a daily rutine, remember you are the adult and children are very smart.
Good luck

Hi L.,
I think she is ready for one nap a day. My daughter transitioned at about the same time (but around 14 months). She just turned 2 last month. She first transitioned to one nap at NOON everyday for 2-3 hours. At about 22 months, her day was extended 1p.m. (new naptime) and she continues to nap for the same length of time.