Help with My 3 Year Old's Nap Habits

i have a three year old girl as well, and she stopped napping at 2 1/2. it was quite an adjustment. it took a couple weeks for her rhythm to change, but when it did, it was quite positive. she sleeps 12 hours, goes to bed betweeen 7 and 8pm, and goes to bed in about ten minutes. when she was taking a nap, she wouldn't go to bed until 10-10:30pm, and that was after an hour of singing, rubbing back and severe patience. i've heard from many a mother and teacher and early childhood guru, that once your baby starts staying up past 10, the nap should go. and yes they are tired, and yes the hour of 4-5:00 is harsh, but you get through it. my one piece of advice if you are going to pull her nap would be to eat dinner at 5pm. it makes that 4-5 hour easier because she can help with dinner and food usually makes them less cranky. our routine is dinner by 5pm, bath by 6pm, in bed at 7pm. i know your partner doesn't get home until late, but maybe he can make an adjustment. her rhythm is too important. good luck~ sb

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My daughter who turned 3 in Feb this year also has done exactly as you describe a few times already. If you are consistent in your request for her naptime and bedtime, and stick to your established routines, it shall pass. She will do it for a day or two and then she's back to her usual program. Then it will happen again one day out of the blue; and again with a consistent response, she's back to her routine again. I expect it will continue to happen once in a while! ;) One thing I did was to decide that I am OK if she doesn't sleep at "naptime" (1:30) as long as she is in her room, playing quietly/looking at books, etc. I have told her that it is her choice if she wants to sleep or play quietly, but that she will be in her room for quiet time (1.5 hours). I show her where the hands of the clock need to be before I will come to get her. I do something similar at bedtime. If she tells me (after the whole bed routine) that she's not tired and doesn't want to sleep, I tell her to try to close her eyes and rest first. If she is not sleepy then, she can read books in bed. I also tell her that when she is finished reading she needs to turn out the light and go to bed. When I do this rather than insist that she goes to bed straight away, she is happy to have made a choice and she usually has the light out in 15-320 minutes. It's a win-win! One thing I did notice is that your naptime is 2-4:30pm. I did move her naptime to no later than 1:30 (wake up no later than 3:30) because I found that she slept better both at naptime and bedtime also. You may consider moving her naptime earlier. Good luck!

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My 3 year old twins have also recently "decided" that they no longer need naptime, so now we're just having "rest time" for about an hour in the afternoon. I put them in their beds and let them each pick 3 books and a couple of stuffed animals. They don't have to sleep but they have to be quiet and rest- it's working out fine so far:) Good luck:)

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My 3 year old son does the same thing. Nap time is now a double edged sword - if he does sleep it's a great break for me, but we pay at bedtime, with a million potty visits, concerns and fears, ups and downs until he'll finally fall asleep, usually after a couple of hours. On the days he doesn't sleep it's a more exhausting day for me (I still enforce a quiet time in his room, but it doesn't usually last too long and he's in and out more for the potty), but at 8 pm bedtime, bam, he's asleep. We've started waking him from his naps on the days he falls asleep after no more than an hour or so. Otherwise he'll sleep and sleep and sleep, sometimes until 5 pm - and that's BAD for bedtime!

Good luck figuring it out, it's a tough age that way, I think you just have to take each day on it's own and do your best with it.

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Same thing is happening with our 3 year old. We have moved to napping every other day, and no late naps if we can help it.

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I'm there with you. My kids are 6,4,3. They don't like to take naps and they think bedtime is a game or something. I'll sit outside there door with it open a little bit and watch them. I have to tell them over and over to lay down. after about 15-20 miinutes they are sound asleep. (i'm talking about my younger ones, they share a room) after a week or so, they got the idea, but from time to time they will still get up and check to see if i'm at the door or not. I'm still there only with the door shut. take a lot of time but this is the only thing i could come up with.
S. with motivated moms

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I think all the responses are right on target.....just shorten her nap....start by shaving off 1/2 hr at a time until she's back to her regular sechdule.

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My second daughter began this type of behavior around the same age. Since my first daughter took naps until about age 5, it threw me for a loop. First I would try reducing the amount of the nap time. After 1 1/2 hours or so, gently and slowly wake her, perhaps by lying in bed with her and beginning to talk to and stroke her so she wakes slowly and not abruptly. This may be enough of a change (1 hour less naptime) that she will still be tired at the time you want to put her to bed. If she continues to stay up late after trying this for a few weeks, she may not need a nap. I still had my daughter do "quiet time" for an hour and a half or so, where she could read books, listen to music and play quietly with small toys--IN her bed. That will still give you a break and let her "rest" even if she doesn't sleep. Good luck!

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When my 5 yr old turned 3 she just stopped needing naps she still sleeps 11 or 12 hours at night. If you still want her to nap during the day try to limit the nap to one hour and then wake her up so that she will still sleep at night when you want her to.

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I'm sure she may still need a nap, but maybe only a hour.

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Good morning T....okay so this is just my humble opinion. No matter what requests she makes or shenanigans she pulls, keep your day on the exact same schedule everyday. I've got a 5 and a half year old who still takes a nap each day with no problem. We actually have a nap game we play...whoever sleeps the longest wins. I make a huge deal everyday that she "won AGAIN and oh my gosh she is like the best nap game player ever but that tomorrow I'm going to sleep until Christmas and she is going to lose big time." But we eat lunch at the same time, she watches Zaboomafoo while she eats lunch, when Zaboomafoo is over, lunch is over, she goes potty picks out a story, we read the story, have a minute of "who's gonna win today? oh mommy is SO tired I'm for sure winning" and then bam she's napping. We literally don't need a clock at our house because of our schedule. I know it might sound rigid or not fun (and of course there's the occasional day where we have something to go do) but I'm telling you kids thrive on a schedule. My pediatrician told me it's the same reason they will watch the exact same movie OVER AND OVER because they have security in knowing the ending. I would encourage you not to start laying down with her if she asks, etc. Just stick to whatever schedule you come up with and don't change it based on her requests (she's testing her power at this age).

Good luck T....protect that naptime girlfriend! It's the only time us mommies can every really get anything done!

L.

P.S. I'm a sahm of 9 and 5 year old girls, married for 11 years.

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Hi T.,

My daughter is 3 and we have had the same issues. We found that when she took a nap (usually 2-3 hours) it was hard for her to stay on a 8pm - 9pm bedtime. I started cutting her nap time and that helped. If she didn't nap I just had down time where she would read. I didn't make it a big deal if she didn't take a nap and I found that she was ready for bed by 8:00. Now she tells us she is tired and wants to take a nap. So I just wake her up after 1 - 1 1/2 hrs and it does help. I am taking it "one day at a time" and adjusting to create a schedule that will become consistant. Good Luck!

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When my son turned 2 1/2, naptime became a huge battle and when he did take a nap, bedtime was a battle. I was pregnant, so I desparately wanted to nap too. We started quiet time. We have our same naptime routine, but it is his choice to sleep or play in his room quietly. Recently, he went back to napping. (He is 4) Evenings can be hard when he doesn't nap because he is so tired, but overall everything is so much better.

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You may want to try waking her up early from her nap. In general, a full "sleep cycle" takes about 45 minutes, so be mindful of that when waking her up. If you wake her after she has been asleep for an hour, she may be in a deeper part of sleep than if you wait and wake her after an hour and a half. I would try vacuuming, or doing something else noisy after she has been asleep for an hour and a half and see if she wakes. Then, she may be ready to go to bed earlier.

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You might want to try making nap a little earlier. My 4 and 5 yr old girls still take napw. After lunch until their bodies wake them up. Then bed time is at 8. Sometimes they resist and stall but I think that's pretty normal. If making it earlier doesn't work you could wake her up from the nap sooner. And with summer comming you will be able to let her run outside more, I know that always helps encourage bed time at my house. Good luck

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I would just cut her nap time down then. Either by an 1/2 hr or a full hour. Something worth trying. :D

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I would put her down when she is tired at nap time but, shorten her nap time. I would start since she regulaly took a 2 hour nap by making it 1 hour and adjust it from there more or less sleep time as you see fit to keep her on a good schedule. Don't give in to the request say "Bed time is quiet time not visiting time." As she gets older if she doesn't need the nap keep this schedule and make this quiet time in her room. Kids need to learn how to entertain themselves quietly. You could move naptime too, maybe a little earlier.

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My daughter did the same thing right when she turned 3. She had also started preschool in the afternoons so her naps were happening later and later then she wouldn't go to sleep until late! All children are different in everything, including how long they nap. We finally realized she didn't need that afternoon nap anymore and over the next couple of months transitioned her out of them by shortening them, which sounds like what might work for you. I agree kids need a schedule, but you can still have a schedule that doesn't include napping! You could also try having nap time be "down time" where there is no play, but you read books or watch a show for about 30 minutes. Once we got through it, it was great! For awhile though it's hard because she would sometimes fall asleep in the car if I had to go somewhere in the latter part of the afternoon. It only took a few months though and I just tried not to go anywhere during the late afternoon if I could help it. Without a nap, she would go to bed around 7:30 and sleep for 12-13 hours at night. I wouldn't agree with some of the postings saying that at this age she still needs a nap. Not all children do and some do very well at this age without naps. It actually helped us to have her stop naps because she actually went to bed without any problems! To this day (she is 5 1/2) on the rare occasion she falls asleep in the afternoon, she has a really hard time going to sleep at night. You know your daughter best but it does sound like she might be getting out of the nap stage. I would try shortening them and see how she does. I don't believe in trying to "force" her to take a nap. When they are done napping, they are done napping!

Good luck!

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