Nap Time Troubles

Please, whatever you do don't lock her in her room. If it isn't illegal it should be, it is a fire hazard among other things. Maybe you could try rocking her until she calms down, she could even fall asleep while rocking. I rock my foster daughter before naps and bedtime. I sing to her or tell her a story, it is a great way to spend a little quiet time with her. I disagree strongly with the crying it out method, there are going to be many times in the coming years that she will cry over something (boy breaks her heart) and there will be nothing you can do for those tears. I also like the post where the woman lets her children fall asleep where they feel safe. Good luck!

When retrieving her becomes a game, that needs to stop, and staying with her til she falls asleep is really a bad habit that you can break now or later. I wouldn't start that. I would do a gate and if she screams her head off, so be it. I'm not a fan of cry it out, but this isn't a scared child, it's a behavior issue and not an infant. She's trying to test the limits and see what she can get away with. You could also try a latch lock, but I'd only do that if you will be on the same level of the house and if it's night time, unlatch it when you go to bed, for safety's sake. I don't love the idea of locking kids in their rooms, but it should be a short term thing, just until they are trained to stay in bed and go to sleep after their bedtime routine.

Hi Laura,
I am a mom of three and excepting my fourth. My oldest is 5 soon to be 6 and my middle is four. My youngest is 17 months. Both my oldest kids had a hard time transition to the bed. I really think every kid does, to them it is freedom. Anyways what worked for me was lett them read books in bed. I would tell them this is nap time either you sleep or read your books but you can't get out of bed. After getting out of bed severally times I would tell them I would take there books away. Which would make them very upset when I would (WE read alot together so they love there books). In the beginning there was alot of putting them back to bed but after a time, they stayed in there beds. I also layied down with them during nap time in the beginning to get them to sleep but not at night. I think naps are hard for them to fall asleep especially if room isn't dark.
My last advice is don't give up on trying to get her to nap. You are going to need that time once the baby comes. My four year hardally every naps but I still make her rest for at least an hour a day because at times I know she need the nap and I need some quiet time. I readed that even at five they should have quiet time or a nap. My five year old nap in school also every other day. Well good luck with the naps and new baby.

L.,
My daughter did the same thing at her age, I found that doing away with the nap worked, but it was hard not having that time to do other things or even lay down myself. Some kids stop taking naps sooner than others. I had one who was up from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. without any naps from the time she was a newborn, then I had one who took 3 naps a day for 2 - 2 1/2 hours each time and then went to bed by 7:30 and slept all night, and then I had another who only slept 4 - 5 hours a night without any naps during the day. Definitely try doing away with the naps and then after dinner give her her bath and then do quite time with either reading a book or watching T.V. with you, anything so that it is calm and quiet and she will start getting tired. Oh and I also found that using the baby bath with lavender in it helped get them tired. When my older 3 were little they didn't have it so I used to add a few drops of lavender oil into the bath water which was recommended by my pediatrician, it works wonders. I hope I was of some help. Good luck with the new baby, would love to know what you have.
Hugs,
T.

My guess is that this may be less about napping, and more about wanting your attention since a new baby is on the way. That, of course, does not solve your problem. Personally, I would not make it an arguement, I would just try putting her to bed earlier when she doesn't take a nap. Aslo, some kids grow out of naps earlier than others, my girls napped until halfway through kindergarten, my son stopped his nap around age 3. Once your baby is born, instinct is to do what a baby needs when they are crying, but if your dtr needs something, go to her first, she will remember this, the baby will not. Good luck!

My son went through this, I think it's a natural tendency when they learn they can assert their independence.

In his case he still needed the nap, so I used incentives. I would get projects from the craft store and tell him we would do them in the afternoon, but only after his nap. The projects were things that were extra messy and fun, that we ordinarily wouldn't have done. That seemed to work for him.

Good luck.

My son was about this age when he gave up napping all together. Just when you need her to nap right. What you can do is baby proof her room and put a gate in the doorway. This way she doesn't have to sleep, but she does have to stay in her room. We tried "quiet time" for a while. Again my son didn't have to nap, but he did have to play quietly in his room.

hi L., sorry, i dont have any advice for you, really, but just sounds horrible to lock your 2,5 y.o child in the room! of course i would imagine the kid would pass out eventually after crying, screaming or playing... but why would you need to discipline this way? every kid understands and compromises at some point, i think it should be in a loving way though... anyway good luck with whatever you decide and delivery. i also have 2,5 yo and another one due in 4 days. i would wait a bit and see how the sleep schedule and behavior will work out when you have the second one.

My middle daughter was always getting out of bed at night. We had nighttime success when we bought her a special princess dress that she could only wear if she stayed in her own bed all night. She really appreciated having her own (her older sister had two) and would stay in her bed or return to her bed with just one reminder about the dress. You could adapt to whatever toy your daughter values, or one she picks out at the store but can only have after a nap in her bed or a successful night. Good luck!

i have a few friends that have had this problem. most children around 2 or 3 really don't take a nap durning the day. at daycares, we would just make every one stay on their mat and have a "rest" although theres no way for you to make her stay in her bed, just make her stay in her room for the designated nap time. kids will sleep when they are tired, i know it sounds awful but i know of many moms who just had to lock their childs door so they couldn't get out and they would eventually fall asleep. i personally have not had this problem yet, but i hope it eventually works itself out for you.

Hi L.,

She maybe over the nap. Some kids don't nap after 2 yrs. My son just turn 1 yrs old and only take one nap know. If I am lucky two if I am lucky. You can't make them take a nap, its not going to be good for you or them.

Maybe because the weather is nice let her run some of that energy outside and give her a mini bath after to sooth her she may just lay down a little.

Good Luck! :)

My son did the same thing at that age, but for us we made the transition a few months after our new baby came because he wasn't yet 2.
If for 2 months she went to sleep just fine, then I'll bet this is just a test. You just need to hold strong and be consistent and persistent with her. With our son, if he got out of bed we told him once that it was nap/bed time and that he needed to stay in his bed, and then each time after that we just picked him up and put him back on his bed without making eye contact. There was a lot of crying, and it was physically difficult, but after 4 or 5 days of this consistent persistence of showing him who was boss, he finally went back to his sweet napping self.
There's a lot of change coming and she knows it. This is her way of getting your attention.
Also, I couldn't disagree more with the posts about the necessity of naps for 2-3 year olds. Every sleep expert I've read says that at this age children need at least a 1-hour nap. I also wouldn't advise the gate or allowing her to play during nap time because she's learning that its okay to disobey you, and plus you're still stuck with a cranky toddler around 6pm.
Good luck to you and congratulations on your 2nd little one.

Dear L. F,

Your little on is just testing you. This is natural for a child at her age, so don't worry too much. Keep doing what you have been doing she will change soon.

A.

Girl, kids can feel the change coming.....just wait there will be more.... not to scare you or anything.Sorry I do not have an advice we just had to wait it out when our second was born and things got back to normal(after while)

My son did the same thing! After many frustrating episodes, here's what we finally did. I just put up the baby gate. I didn't care if he played in his room all night long, but I was going to get some sleep! After a few nights of falling asleep on the floor, he got the idea that he wasn't getting out until morning and went back to bed.

My friend did a similar thing - she locked her daughter's bedroom door from the other side and opened it in the mornings.

No fighting, arguing, or disciplining. Think of it as a bigger, room-sized crib.

L. F:

I haven't had the time to read too many of the Mamasource daily listings of questions, but a quick review shows me that many moms (and dads) are having frustrating times with their kids' sleeping habits, especially when it comes time to change beds. From my experience it seems that things work best when I let the kids sleep where they want. I know that sounds a bit radical, but I'd rather they not associate sleep-time with arguments and punishments. So, for example, my kids often go to sleep in our bed, whether on my side or my hsuband's side. Then we move them into their beds in the middle of their sleep, enabling us to go to bed in an empty bed. By morning, some of them have returned to our bed and some have "decided" to stay in their beds. Same goes for naps. It seems to me that the kids feel more loved if they can sleep in our bed if they want, and my husband and I have no trouble staying asleep if the little cubs crawl in next us in the middle of the night. All of this "leniency" doesn't seem to affect the kids one bit when they have sleep-overs, whether in our home or out. In fact, when they have sleep-overs in our home, they end up sleeping the entire night in their own bed -- like they know subconsciously in their sleep not to abandon their friend. And when they go out, they have no trouble sleeping in another bed. In short, it seems that a lot of parents out there are fighting and struggling with their kids over nothing -- if the child wants to sleep in the crib or the stroller or the "big-boy" bed or the parent's bed, let them. Why not? Sleep is a tender, vulnerable, "cute" time -- like I said above, let them feel loved and secure in themselves at that time rather than subject to too many rules and regulations. There's plenty of those during the waking hours (as there should be!).

I'm interested to see if I'm alone in this thinking.

(I won't be in the least bit insulted if you opt not to take this approach, I just thought I'd throw it out there).

Hi L.,

Same thing happened to us -- we bought a toddler bed, thinking to wait until after the baby, but our son really wanted it. Naptimes got crazy, though -- and while we thought he might be over the nap, in the end he settled down, and now sleeps well for 1 hour each afternoon.

What we did was this: put up a gate that he couldn't climb over or knock down (which took some doing!), and gave him a "free pass" -- a paper that he could use to call us back ONE time for whatever reason he chose. He paid the free pass, got our focused attention (though we had to time it -- no more than 2 minutes, or he would wind back up), and then we wouldn't come back unless it sounded like an emergency. There were 3 days of an hour of screaming and tantrums, but each was followed by a 2 hour nap, and he started to understand the structure and it has served us well. The best days are the ones where he doesn't even use the free pass -- just goes to sleep on his own.

He hates the gate -- so our agreement is that once he has been quiet for a full 15 minutes straight, we come and take it down, and we do follow through. He can only be quiet for that long if he's asleep.

You're describing exactly what we just went through!

My daughter is 28 months old. A few months ago we took her crib matress out of her crib and put it on the floor. The transition was very smooth, but last week she began getting out of bed for naps, nighttime - everything. She wanted us to stay with her, but she still didn't fall into a deep sleep. We were all exhausted and losing our minds. Yesterday we decided to try putting the matress back in the crib, and it worked incredibly well. She took her first nap in a week yesterday, and slept through the night last night. She's rested and happy, and isn't exploding over every frustration. I know it seems like a step backwards, but in the scheme of things, I don't think it really matters much. She's been really into potty training, and I'd much rather have that progress than have her continue in the bed.

GOOD LUCK!

ETA I'm pregnant, too! I think my DD just needed to regress in some way with the baby coming. If the crib makes her feel more comfortable, it's fine with me!