Name Your Child Based on the Opinion of Others? Now with 100% More SWH!

Updated on June 05, 2012
S.L. asks from Carmi, IL
27 answers

I keep reading and hearing people say things along the lines of "A kid with that name is going to get bullied for sure". Or "Don't name your kid that unless you want him to get beat up everyday."

I know many people with uncommon names, but I don't know anyone who was ever bullied because of their name. My 9 year old son has an "old fashioned" first name, but so far none of the kids seem to care. My husband has the same first name, but was never picked on.
Two of my guy friends are named Gaylord and Gayland--- they are not related--- and they said it's not been an issue.

I know myself and my schoolmates noticed less common names, but we never picked on those kids. I recall through the years having conversations and asking each other how we got our names, but nothing bad.

So would you forego naming your child a name you really liked or would comments like the aforementioned dissuade you?

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So What Happened?

:o)
My opinion of this is that kids/people will pick on who they want regardless of that person's name. If I really like a name I would go with it. I have done this 4 times so far. My kids all have "old fashioned" sort of names but names I came up with. Names me and my husband like. With our first daughter people said I should not give her an "old lady" name. I had not even considered the name until I dreamed that I had a girl and name her that. I found it beautiful and felt that it would fit her. Over the last 8 years it has steadily increased in popularity. Her name is Lillian.

Laurie A, your spelling is more common to me and is the nickname of one of my girls and spelled like yours.

Kay U, I just read that some people names their baby SpongeBob... I find that to be going too far.

Adansmama, after posting this I consider that perhaps my friends and I didn't have the teasing/bully about names experience because we grew up in a pretty close knit community.

Jo W, I understand. We sometimes make decisions for our kids based on our own experiences.
So I am not knocking anyone. :)

As for the names Gayland and Gaylord, maybe they didn't get teased because they were good-looking, nice guys. Or maybe it was because when we were growing up (in the 90s) kids didn't think much, care much or know much about homosexuality. At least not where we lived they didn't. We had friends we figured were gay, but we never made an issue of it. I suppose if a child were named that now it might result in some teasing. I don't know.

Manda F, you said it! People need to teach their kids to show respect.

Christina N, two of my kids have four names. Two first names and one middle name. :)

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Again I offer this real life example: Brighton Early.

Really?

I can see tossing that around and snickering pre-baby but to write it on a birth certificate? Come on!

8 moms found this helpful

⊱.H.

answers from Spokane on

Nope ~ if I had listened to "others" I would not have my Ryder and his name fits him perfectly and now those who didn't like it do!

4 moms found this helpful

~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

Even "normal" names can get made fun of. In middle school, there was a girl named Maxie. I remember half of the gym yelling out maxi pad when she walked in one morning. Sometimes kids would tell me I was A man. Duh! I also went to school with a girl whose last name was VanHook. Her nickname was VanHooker.

When I named my son, I didn't try to come up with a name that can't be made fun of, but I think he will be ok. Some parents are just setting their kids up for humiliation with the names they choose, but hopefully their kids end up with thick skins!

3 moms found this helpful

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Depends on the name. If it's a classic name that's spelled correctly then I might consider it if I really liked it. If it's some stupid made-up name, or some butchered spelling of a name that has a traditional spelling, then definitely not but I don't do stupid mad-up names or butcher spelling anyway so that wouldn't be an issue. Names come and go out of style - I think that most kids can survive traditional names, but being named something ridiculous like a piece of fruit, a color, or after a cartoon character only really work for celebrity babies.

5 moms found this helpful

M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

After 17 years in education, I definitely thought about what others might say about my kid's name. I also had a long veto list of names from kids that I had in my class or at my school that misbehaved. You know, name association. ;) I think it's wise to at least consider if it's a name that would be tough to live with and your kids might resent you for it. We kept our kids' names private until they were born, too. :)
www.educationmom.com

5 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

You have to consider that most of us that say that have unusual names and were picked on because of them. My kids have very generic names, there is no way I was going to risk putting them through that.

More than that we also know the frustration of having to pronounce our name for everyone. Spell it all the time, correct all the time.

So yeah, my kids were definitely named with my childhood and life considered. The wildest name I have is my youngest, Genevieve named after her great grandma. She is nick named Genna. Sometimes she has to say it is with a G. It was just such a beautiful name I couldn't resist.

4 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Denver on

Honestly yes I would. We tried not to pick names that would easily be made fun of because kids are mean. If there was a name I really loved but I knew that it had a high possibility of getting made fun of I would make it the middle name. I think that your friend Gaylord and Gayland were really confident kids who didn't get the taunting that a kid with confidence issues would get. Kids will find something to pick on eachother for so I wouldn't give them an easy target. Plus do you want your kid hating their name because it did get made fun of?

3 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I don't think comments would dissuade me, but then again, I like pretty solid names.

If my son had been a girl, we would have named her "Clementine"... a family friend joked that he would call her "Clem" for short. No biggie-- it would be meant in love. There are other names, though, which I didn't pick because I didn't like the usual 'nickname' version of those names.

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Mansfield on

No matter what you name your child, if someone wants to pick on him/her they are going to do so. Aside from that, seems everyone seems to have an opinion, don't they? You name your little one whatever you want and forget what other people say. I didn't tell anyone but immediate family what we were going to name my daughter until she was born. I didn't need/want anyone else's opinion.

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

i admit i would avoid names like "gaylord" and "gayland". i think most people would.

as i read your post i was reminded of my own childhood. i don't know if i was just very naive/sheltered, or it was the small town mentality (although some would say those towns are worse) but i never remember bullying or meanness going on in our school. my class was about 40 people. no, we are not all best buddies, there were cliques, etc...but i never experienced things like this either.

i find that interesting.

but no, i wouldn't want to take a chance. i think a name is important. i think it says a lot about a person. i would want to send a specific message with a name, that's why i prefer to do family names as middle names (we don't have a lot of great choices in that area). at least i can give my kid a "normal" first name, and not be the cause of him ever feeling awkward or uncomfortable (haha...at least about his name!). PLUS, and even more of a factor, it would drive me crazy to have to explain and/or spell a million times, a name of my child. i would go insane.

3 moms found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from St. Cloud on

I do consider what other kids could say about my child's name. I doubt they'd be beat up for it, but who wants to be teased daily for something they can't change. I don't fall in love with a name until we've dissected the heck out of it.

3 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

We never shared the names we were considering. I knew it would be a distraction. It was easy to just say, we pretty much have the names picked out, just waiting to meet our baby and then make the final decision.

My husband went to school with a girl named Merry Christmas. Yep, always a lot of questions for her to answer.

I went to school with a. Girl named Robin Hood. She moved to Sherwood Forrest Lane.. I am not kidding. And many people would not accept her checks or Id.

I always have to spell my name, or people will spell it Lori.. It gets tiresome... But it is what it is.

3 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My own mother told me the middle name we chose for our second child (after we named her) reminds her of a nightmare. God only knows why. She also refuses to pronounce my oldest daughter's middle name correctly, even though she loves her dearly.

Both of my children have traditional first names and very unique and personal middle names, so no one really knows their middle names but family anyhow.

I guess what bothers me more is people hopping on these "name trend" bandwagons. Three of my cousins (on the same side) all named their sons Caden (Cayden, and Kayden.) Really? The name is fine, but if someone in my family already had the name and was in the same generation, I'd keep looking. Just me.

3 moms found this helpful

M.M.

answers from Erie on

my own mother was ragging on me about the name "AZAELIA" like the flower but spelled differently. She said my daughter was going to get picked on cause its a bush of flowers. I told her to leave it be and if she didnt like the name it was too bad. cause we were not changing it based on her bad negative thoughts. its nonsense. i love the name and its funny cause now that my daughter is just about a year old my mother adores the name.

Updated

my own mother was ragging on me about the name "AZAELIA" like the flower but spelled differently. She said my daughter was going to get picked on cause its a bush of flowers. I told her to leave it be and if she didnt like the name it was too bad. cause we were not changing it based on her bad negative thoughts. its nonsense. i love the name and its funny cause now that my daughter is just about a year old my mother adores the name.

2 moms found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Oh, I was teased ... my last name has something in common with a well known movie serial killer that was esp. popular during my upbringing. I made sure to think of all the things that people could say to make fun of my son's name when naming him, the worst is comparisons to a popular WWE wrestler that is a respectable man, who by the time my son is even of age only the old fart parents will have a clue as to the reference.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Someone I know has a friend that wanted to name their kids after the Star Wars movie. Husband is a huge fan.
Yep.
Darth, and Vader.
Real story.
Geez.
Thank goodness, the wife of that guy would not allow it.
Can you imagine, what would happen if their kids were really named "Darth" and "Vader?"
Yep they have twins.

I also encountered a girl once, that was named "Honey Girl."
Good grief.
And other girls that were named "Star." That seemed to be a trendy name for a bit awhile ago, in my State.

2 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Orlando on

Nope! I let my son pick my daughters name :) and he picked Harlee Quinn after the batman character.

2 moms found this helpful
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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I named my child what I wanted to name her. Other people gave me grief about the fact that her first name is "old-fashioned," she has two middle names, AND her nickname has an unconventional spelling It didn't change my mind.
And FWIW, she LOVES the fact that no one else has a name like hers.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't choose a name that I know would cause a lot of mean-spirited teasing. I know it's easy to create a nickname out of anything, but I think there's a big difference between the kind of teasing that creates Savannah-Banana and the kind you get if you're named Merry Christmas, Brighton Early, or Darth and Vader. No, I would definitely not give my kids names that make them such an easy target, or that require constant explanation. I also wouldn't give a weird spelling. I see plenty of normal/common variations of names (like Lori or Laurie), and I think those are fine, but I think it crosses a line when you spell it Laureigh.

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S.Q.

answers from Bellingham on

My brother and sister and I grew up with unusual names. It never bothered us. Now it seems like unusual names are the norm, rather than the exception.

I only take notice of my children's father when naming my own children.

1 mom found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

The only name that we discarded was Lucas, because my dad told me about friend who was constantly teased as "Mucus Lucas."

1 mom found this helpful

I.W.

answers from Portland on

No, I would name them something fairly normal, but not because of what other's might say.
My little sister named my daughter. I was too drugged up from my horrible c-section to even care, lol.
It was a name on my list at least. Nothing weird :-P

1 mom found this helpful
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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

If someone is going to get teased it will not matter what their name is someone will find a way to make fun of it. I was called H. Ho a lot. It annoyed me. When I was carrying my oldest my brother told me not to name him Donavan because he would have a hard time learning it I did not listen to him. He's been called Donny a few times and I jump on them if I hear it. I think my son Dylan get's made fun of more for his name and it's common.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.E.

answers from New York on

Similar to you, I actually knew someone named "Gay" in school. She was named that in the 60s, when gay still meant happy. I don't recall that she was ever teased much about it. She was fairly popular and just not the type of person to be teased, despite her name.

I agree with some of the other posters - if a kid wants to tease another, they'll twist their name regardless of how common or unusual.

I have a very unusual name. I remember the older sister of a friend making an unflattering rhyme out of it - but again, she would have probably done the same thing even if my name was "Jane" or "Mary". No one else ever made fun of it and I actually always liked having a different name.

I gave my son a very old family name. An acquaintance said he thought kids would make fun of it but so far it has been fine. I say go with what you like - though perhaps naming your kid something like Adolph Hitler or Aryan Nation (real names) is going a teensy bit too far! :O

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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Kids will make fun of any name. The most was a girl named Melissa Ashley cant remember last name but it started with an H, her initials backwards spelled HAM and she was chunky, so.it didnt go well for her. They would have made fun of her no matter what her name was. My stepdad insisted he knew a kid named Nosmoking, called King, his mom couldnt read so she wrote on the birth certificate the only sign in the room, No Smoking... Lol.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

No, because I figure I could teach them to be strong enough to withstand taunting. But Gayland? It's hard to imagine kids leaving that one alone.

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I honestly can't imagine Gaylord and Gayland saying they were never made fun of. Highly unlikely.

My cousin named her daughter Savannah...of course we said everyone will call her Savannah banana, and they do.

I made up my daughters name and she has never been made fun of or "bullied". I did take into consideration names that rhymed with words or if they were "old fashioned" that may cause them to be made fun of. I think its the responsible thing to do, who wants their kids to be made fun of because of their name? But then again, I don't think it takes much for kids to make fun of each other. Just my opinion.

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