Myself

Hey C.,

You've received a lot of great advice already I just wanted to add one comment that I hadn't seen anywhere yet. I also was put on an antidepressant after my 2nd daughter and when "I" decided I was better I quit taking my medicine. This results in what Dr.'s call rebound depression, it is horrible! It is worse than what you were going through before. So, if they do put you on something let them wean you off of it.

tell the doctor how you feel about medications

Hi C.!

I don't see why you don't talk to your doc about it. I had it as well with my daughter she put me on prozac for 1 month and believe me it helps. I had no side effects from the medicine if that is what your worried about. Trust me when I say if you do not take care of the depression by talking to your doctor it will only get worse. There really isn't anything else you can do about it from my point of view and ignoring it will not help you, your baby or your family any sooner.

good luck and I hope you talk to your doc asap.

Please talk to her about it. I wish I had sooner. I didn't untill my daughter was 5 months old. When I did they put me on Zoloft which is okay while breastfeeding. I was a different person. After 2 months I was able to get off of them and I am back to normal. Post pardum is a very difficult time w/out depression. It is a medical condition taht many women get. It doesn't mean your crazy it means your human.

I was going to start typing and I thought I would read first, I am glad I did because the first response you received from Jessica is my story too. Almost word for word! Except I tried Cymbalta first and then changed to Wellbrutrin. By no means put this off. Talking to your doctor and getting help is the best thing you can do for yourself, your marriage and you children. It WILL get worse if you don't treat it now. I was afraid of starting a medication as well until my doctor told me that it is not a long-term thing, most depression only needs to be treated for 6 months to a year! You are catching it early, what a blessing! Good luck tomorrow and God bless.

Talk to your Dr. They are there to help but also express you don't want meds. Maybe they can recommend a group or a diet and exercise regimn for you to try. But definitely reach out and get some ideas! As all things this too shall pass and you will move on! You did great by reaching out here first! So you took the first step! YEAH!! I wish you the best!

Don't be ashamed to talk to your doctor. It's not uncommon to feel that way after having a baby. It doesn't neccessarily mean that he/she will put you on any medication, your doctor may advise of some type of activity or relaxation technique to help you relieve stress. Having some type of support system helps a lot. Even if it's just having a family member or friend babysit for you while you have time for self. My son is seven now, and sometimes I still get depressed. I have to remember my obligation to my child and that it's not selfish to still want time for myself. This can really have an affect if your a single parent. Keep praying and it will work out. Best wishes

I also agree that you need to talk to your doctor. They may not suggest meds right away, but it's not a bad thing if you do take them!

When I talked to my MW about it, she didn't want to do meds and neither did I. There is a support group that meets the second Monday of each month at ViQuest in Greenville. The people are so sweet and listen so well. You can bring your baby with you if you want too as well. My MW suggested trying this first and going from there. You might enjoy it!

Hey C., I know how you feel. I had a daughter almost 3 years ago. Not too long ago, I found out that I had been suffering from post-partum(?) depression. Now, realize that I had her about 3 years ago. I never understood that I had been suffering from this and here it is 3 yrs later. It had done nothing but got worse, from not being treated. It was causing some very serious issues with my husband and my children. I never knew that I was acting 'wierd' towards him and was always tired, I never did anything. I didn't spend time with my children and just kind of shut myself off from them and my friends. It made me even more miserable. I was just like you. I didn't want to take any medication either. But this is not something you can beat or get over by yourself. The Dr's only want to help. And your baby needs you, I mean (s)he really does. It will be for the best, and it truly does make a difference.

Hi C., how was your Dr appt? Please know there are people that care and that believe that what you are going through is serious. I hope you are able to find some answers and help.
C.

I don't blame you about not wanting to be medicated. I think a LOT of doctors are far too quick to medicate. However, you very well could have a hormonal imbalance and HORMONES would be required, NOT anti-depressants. This happened to a friend of mine--she had such a hormonal imbalance after her 2nd child that she was very depressed and her hair even turned gray. Her doctor (a male) smugly put her on meds, not even telling her it was anti-depressant. She was outraged when she learned that's what it was. She changed doctors, got put on hormones and felt radically better pretty quickly.

Now, also, you have a new baby. Your life has been turned UPSIDE DOWN. We've all been there--you need to definitely lower your expectations if you have them elevated. Just do what you can to get through the day and remember IT WILL GET BETTER!

The other thing that will help you a LOT is some form of exercise.Exercise will get the endorphins kicking in in your system and will help elevate your mood, and you'll also feel as if you're doing something good for yourself. Even taking the baby out in the stroller for a walk (and the weather has been quite conducive to that right now)--get out, get fresh air. Better yet, can you find other moms with newborns? Having others to share and commiserate is really invaluable. You need that.
Also, is your husband being supportive? That is hugely important too.
Anyhow, DO talk to your doctor. You need to understand that your doctor is your partner in this, and if you think you're being railroaded into taking meds you don't or shouldn't take, then get another doctor. I'd be happy to recommend a couple of great Ob/gyns in town, so feel free to contact me!
J.

P.S. Autumn's reply about weaning GRADUALLY off of anti-depressants is VERY important. Any brain med must be very slowly weaned off of, otherwise you will have a real problem on your hands.

Hello C.,

I suffer from severe depression. I've been where you're at. I know this response is a little past your doctor's appointment. But one can never have enough support during these times. I hope you talked to your doctor and have started taking an antidepressant. I don't like taking medication either, but I'm a lot happier, and so are my children. If you haven't talked to your doctor, please do so. Depression is nothing to gamble with. Also, keep yourself occupied with things that you enjoy doing. Even if you just don't feel you can get up and do it, make yourself get up. Sitting and pondering your depression will only make it worse. I wish there was more I could tell you, and I wish you all the luck in the world. God Bless

Congratulations on the new baby! I went through some depression as well. I highly believe in telling your doctor. dont be afraid..just be honest with your doc. Yours and your baby's life is too precious not to! Good luck!!!

sweeetie as you know we all go through the baby blues...whenever I get to feeling down I just look at how beautiful my daughter is and think of how lucky I am to have her....alot of my close friends have been trying to have children for years and for some reason they are not conceiving...I think about people like that and thank God for my child....my daughter is now almost four months old I'm 22 and a single parent and sometimes I still get depressed.....yes I cry but once I see her big teethless smile my frown is turned upside down... try getting on your knees and thanking God for what you have and what he has done in your life also thank him for what he is going to do in your life... ask him to help you get through this depression..he is waiting for you to seek him..trust me he will help!!!!! take care and keep me updated on you.

I would definitely talk to your doctor about your depression, but tell her you want alternatives to medicine. Can you talk to your husband, mother, friend, sister? I think the more support you get, the better. Ask for help taking care of the baby and get some time for yourself. I think yoga, walking, or any kind of exercise and time just for you would be good. Good luck!

Please, C., don't let yourself become a statistic! I believe the moms who have killed their young babies, or abandoned them, actually had severe post partum depression. That in no way makes what they did ok, but if they had the help they needed it may have been prevented. If you are breastfeeding, the dr can prescribe meds that is safe for you and baby.

My sister in-law went through what you are going thorugh. My nephew is now five months old and she feels so much better now that she is on medication. She is a very natural person and usually doesn't take anything either but sometimes you have to give in and give it a shot. The thing about the medication is that they don't just give you drugs and let you go, they will make you talk with someone also.
If it is serious enough that you are on here asking for help then it is serious enough to talk to your doctor.

Hi C.,
You have to tell the doctor the truth of how you are feeling. They are experienced and i'm sure there are other options other than medication that can be discussed as options. what you are feeling is completely normal and so many women experience this! But do you and your baby a favor and keep your doctor informed of your mental health as well as your physical health. You can't get the help you may need if you aren't honest.
I'll be thinking of you,
Tina

Hey C.,
I think youre doing great by finding advice somewhere. You should do what youre doing and trust your instincts. If you dont want to talk to your doctor about this then dont. Im sure you feel the same way I do that they can tend to make assumptions and do trial and error more than get to the root. I also agree that if you dont want meds dont take them. There are plenty of alternative methods! Im sorry I dont know off hand what youre going through but I would definatley keep doing what your doing and TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS! Listen to all advice and then take what your feel is best! Good luck. I do think one thing that may help is surrounding yourself with supportive positive people! things will get better.
S.

I'm just curious, why don't you want to take medication? If you feel bad and the doctor gives you a completely safe medication and it makes you feel good, why don't you want to take it? There are so many misconceptions out there about depression. There is this stigma that a depressed person is "crazy" or weak minded. NOT TRUE. Throw that all out the window and recognize when/if you need help. Your hormones are causing the neurotransmitters in your brain to misfire, in laymans terms. I work in the mental health/criminal justice field, have counseled hundreds of depressed people, and I have lived with someone who battles depression--a lifelong thing for him. Yours is temporary! I can't tell you how many times I've seen something as simple as swallowing one pill a day can transform a person's life. You will be a happier mommy; and this is a time in your life you deserve to enjoy every minute, giving your best to your baby. Also, you do not necessarily have to "talk to someone" (a counselor) about it. It depends on your doctor and the severity of your depression (ie, thoughts of harming yourself or your baby). Best wishes and I hope you are truly feeling better soon!

C.,
I delivered my first baby on october 12 this year. I was an emotional wreck for the first month after i had her. I cried at everything,i was at the point i didnt want anyone holding her more than about five minutes, even her father. i was so happy i had my baby, but yet i was so sad and couldnt figure out why. i was okay until i got home and reality set in. i went to my dr. and she suggested medication only as a last resort. shetold me to try some natural things at home, candles, bubble baths. the big thing that helped me was getting outside and walking. just getting fresh air. it was good for me and good for the baby. just put your baby in the stroller and take a long walk. after she was about 4 weeks old, the depression subsided. you donthave to go on medication just because the dr recommends it, give it another 2 or 3 weeks and see how you feel, if you are still haveing some issues, then maybe think about a low dose of something, just to help you through your days. you want to enjoy this time in your life, you dont want to be sad. if you need to talk, let me know. ill be glad to talk to you over the phone. i totally understand what you are going through, and no matter how hard you try, your husband will never understand it.

T. Y,

Hey you arent the only one i have an appt in march and My kid is almost 15 months soo DONT WAIT... with the weight gain and kids and husband and now that i babysit well i wish i would have went sooner....This is a serious issue and ALOT of people go through it..i just hope i can do this when its my time in march but it wont fix on its own ive learned that!

C. -

It is very common to be depressed or have baby blue after the baby arrives. You're life has changed completely. You also have to remember that your hormones are still out of whack and that could be part of this depression feeling you are having. If I were you, I would talk to the doctor and be honest with her. Tell her you do not want to go on any medications. If your depression doesn't get better, tell her you will entertain your options when you feel comfortable. But you should let her know how you are feeling. I hope that you start feeling better soon. I understand how it is. I have a almost 2 month old baby and I'm like a roller coaster with emotions. But I don't feel it's bad enough to be on meds. Good luck!

You really should talk to her about it. Believe me, I wish I had sooner after my first. I didn't realize I was depressed until it was too late. I just thought i had the "baby blues" as they call it that you get right after you have the baby. I tried to ignore it and was totally in denial of my depression until 10 months later when I couldn't get out of the bed and wanted nothing to do with my baby or my husband and only wanted to sleep all day. I finally went to the doctor when I realized my marriage wasn't going to make it if I didn't get help. My doctor told me that I had started out with post-partum depression but was now in a full-blown depression that was leading into a downward spiral if I didn't get treatment. I was put on Zoloft but I didn't like it because it made me feel detached(and it does a real number on your sex-drive). So I then switched to Wellbutrin which is a milder form and often used on drinkers and smokers who are trying to quit because it helps to take the edge off. I stuck with the wellbutrin and I have had no negative side-effects and i am a much happier mommy now! PLease talk to your doctor! You do not necessarily have to go on meds, but you really need to talk to your dr. to explore your options and let him/her know your concerns. They are there to help you, and I'm sure they will do their best to make sure you are happy healthy and comfortable as a mommy! I hope I have helped a little, good luck! J. H.