My Two Year Old Has Gone Crazy

Updated on January 27, 2008
K.S. asks from Snellville, GA
14 answers

Hi everyone --

My relatively normal two year old son has recently undergone a slight personality/attitude change. Everything is "No!" "Stop!" and "Mine!" He's always been the sweetest, most loving and sharing child, and then ... wham! He became Stingy McGrumpypants in the matter of days. At night, he won't go to sleep until midnight. I thought maybe he was just not getting enough energy used up during the day, so now we don't even watch his hour of TV (Between the Lions and Big Comfy Couch). We are going all day long, and I am exhausted! Is this just terrible twos? I'm starting to worry. I don't know if I should just try to reaon with him or call Supernanny.

What can I do next?

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Most two year olds go through this kind of thing it is just a stage he is going through. All three of my kids went through it and sometimes my three year old still acts this way.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

It certainly is normal, but I know it is frustrating. I don't think you can reason too much with a two year old, so keep your discipline simple and consistent. Dont' let him get his way when he is being unpleasant...show him the right way to do it and reward him with lots of praise when he does it. All easier said than done, I know. Also, I wouldn't assume he is staying up late because he's not tired enough. Could be that he's over-tired. I've always heard and believed from my own experience that over-tired kids have more sleep problems. Does he still take a nap? As weird as it may sound, you might try putting him to bed earlier instead of later. I really see in my own kids how their behavior changes for the worse if their not getting enough sleep. Good luck.

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J.D.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Sounds just like what I am going through with my almost 3 yr old. She started about 2 months ago with crazy/off the wall behavior which was not typical of her and there are days that we just manage to get through the day. She also does not want to go to bed at night, take naps, or have some alone time in her room to play quietly. I also have a 16 mo old girl too who is into everything. I have learned and am learning that I have to be desperate for the grace and wisdom from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Every day - usually several times a day - just asking for patience, wisdom, guidence, perserverence, and strength. I think Moms should get together to support each other in these times especially holding each other up in prayer. I have seen the mighty hand of God move in so many ways and know that He is my source of strength through this time.

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I have five children under the age of 10, and I can tell you that each child and each family situation is different, but even so, I'll see if I can be of any help. First of all, it's not any use to reason with a very young child, and I don't think you need Supernanny. You can do it. Hang in there. It will actually get better on its own as he passes through this stage, but you can also help it along.
As for the bedtime, I suggest eliminating or reducing any naps he is taking and/or waking him up earlier. If he still stays up late, make sure he is not being rewarded with extra together time or fun for doing it. Put a baby gate up so he has to stay in his room (or crib if he is in one).
He is definitely testing you with his behavior. Be consistent, but also let him try out his newfound emotional range and independence. Choose your battles carefully. Let him win, too. Some children start the Terrible Twos as early as 18 months. See if there are new and different things he can do by himself to give you a break. (Play with toys in the bathroom (or kitchen) sink while you are near -- a great excuse to mop the floor afterwards, empty plastic containers out of a cupboard and bang on them with wooden spoons, put on a parade for you, etc.) See if you can make him laugh when he acts out with "No!" or "Mine!" (Try imitating him with a puppet or singing it back to him in a silly way or making it a game.) Distracting him and moving on to something else is a good technique.
My first child was my hardest because the whole day was about him and took all of my attention and energy. Since then I've had to learn to parent differently. For example, my 4 year old is currently putting stamps all over herself and on my hands while I type(not a battle worth fighting because it's washable) and my 9 month old is squirming around on the floor next to me. The older children are entertaining themselves, and I'm taking some time here for me. Find a balance that works for you and aim for that. Hang in there. You can do it.

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M.G.

answers from Atlanta on

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE A NORMAL SON!!!
This is what we call "The Terrible Two's"....Just brace yourself for "The Terrifying Three's".

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T.T.

answers from Atlanta on

Wow - he sounds like he read the 'book'.
It is always helpful for mine to have a preditable routine for bedtime - but when we had the 'don't want to go to sleep' thing I had to put my foot down. Mine stayed in their crib(they were both in theirs until about 2 1/2) and we left them in their room. They wailed and cried and wailed and cried, but after about a week of this the wailing and crying started to decrease and then they were going to sleep again when they were suppose to.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

LOL If it makes you feel better, my 20month old isn't too far behind your son!!! It is the start of the terrible 2s as it is put. I like to think they are finding their place in the world myslef!! hehe But just buckle down for the ride and be consistant with him. If he takes a toy from someone and won't give it back, explain to him why it is wrong and return the toy. If he does it again, find a way to remove him for the area for a toddler version of time out. It can be in his bed (as long as he won't climb out) for a few mins or sitting on your lap without you talking to him (my son hates that the most!!). Same with the Stops and Nos. He'll get the picture after a while as long as you stick to your guns!! You don't need Suppernanny, just a different way of dealing with your changing child!!

Good luck!!
S.
www.shariegraf.scent-team.com

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J.B.

answers from Columbia on

He hasn't gone crazy, he is just growing up and developing his personality. The "mine" phase doesnt last too long thank goodness, but the "no" has been known to last until late teens. lol. They learn these words from us, the adults, it is what they hear us say to them. So they don't really understand the implications, they just like to say the same things we do. Start using words like yes and OK and yours, speaking them as loudly (and in the same tone)as you would if you were saying no.
But remember, ALL children do this, it is the beginning of the "terrible twos" good luck

btw- "stingy mcgrumpypants" almost made me fall over laughing!

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M.F.

answers from Atlanta on

It seems that moms experience the terrible 2's either during the age of two or at least by the age of 4...lol... he may also been getting some teeth while during growing spurts and getting more teeth all 3 of my boys had grumpy issues and sleep issues. Hang in there!

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Welcome to the wonderful world of toddlers! I've got a 2 1/2 year old and a 4 1/2 year old (both boys) and I feel your pain. Unfortunately, this is just 'the way it is' a lot of times. He sounds totally normal to me.

Basically, what's probably happening is he's stretching the boundaries of his independence as he never has before. It's funny, we spend the first two years of their lives basically denying them nothing and making sure they know that they're the center of the universe. Then we spend the rest of their lives teaching them that they're NOT the center of the universe.

He's probably also feeling frustrated and has not got the verbal skills at this point to say what he feels, so he acts out. Totally normal behavior. Please remember one thing. You CANNOT reason with a two year old. As I said, they lack the verbal skills to have a discussion about why a behavior is right or wrong.

My best advice is to read a book called 1-2-3 Magic. It's not very long, but it has some of the best advice I ever read about discipline. It's a quick read and it's very entertaining as well. It's a common sense approach and I think you'll see that it works very quickly.

Hope this helps.

K. M
Mommy to Carter and Gavin

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L.M.

answers from Columbia on

aroudn two they get there last big set of molars, and they hurt, a lot. so, this might be the cause of the temperment change. My daughter was really grumpy during this time. Try some homeopathic teething tablets, they help with the discomfort. or some infant tylenol before bed, it helps to help them get to sleep. Also, it could just be the terrible two's.

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K.R.

answers from Mobile on

HI Lona, I have a 2 year old and a 3 1/2 year old both boys. He is meant to play. It is his personality. I would highly recommend doing a personality test to find out yours and his in order for you to motivate and encourage him. My little 2 year old loves to play. but I have to teach him to get his work done first in order for him to play. I give him tasks like pick up his toys before bed or something simple like help me make a meal and when we are done we can play all we want. You really need to learn his personality type so you will not hold him back. I have a spiritual success coach I work with that will do wonders for you if you listen to her. www.danijohnson.com. She is awesome. I hope this helps
K. S

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T.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Sounds alot like a 2 year old! The being possessive and not wanting to share are totally normal at this age. As for terrible twos, I'm a bigger believer in ferocious threes! As for wanting to stay up late, I noticed my kids get a second wind if I don't get them to bed on time. At that age I would aim for 8:00 so around 7 we would start to wind down. No loud active games, turn down the lights and read a book, pjs, brush teeth and off to bed. Definately no caffein or sugar after 6.

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G.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Is he napping? Maybe he needs just quiet time and not a long nap. May not matter though as it sounds more like a behavioral thing though and not a tired thing. I don't mean he is a behavior problem, no, just a completely normal and active 2-year-old boy. I raised two of them-they will wear you out. He is probably just starting with the assertiveness that comes with getting older-he wants to have more control over things (yes, even though he is only 2 !!) I would talk with him when he is rested and in a receptive mood and explain that he has a bedtime and he will be going to bed at that time...show him what his bedtime looks like on a digital clock and put one in his room. I assume you have a routine for bedtime. Once you have done that and he KNOWS it is his bedtime, then if he cries or protests, I would just re-explain briefly what you talked about with him and then leave the room. Let him protest-he will tire quickly I would imagine- and don't give him TOO much attention at that point. He will catch on. Can be hard, I know but those mad/demanding cries seem to burn out pretty fast. Also, of course, rewards/incentives can start working well at this age to help teach them the rules. Patience...he will transition into a 3 year old and things will smooth out. But be consistent with the "rules" and enforce them. Kids do well and feel secure when they know the structure of their schedule and it is consistently and lovingly enforced.

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