Let me tell you I was right where you are like 1 month ago! I think its like they are turning 3 so they go a little coo coo. he he I still sometimes get her sassy-ness when at walmart in front of all and she hits me too. So we no longer take here near florescent lights unless needed so no stores for her. I think they make her go a little coo coo, shes ADHD so its kinda sometimes happens I read. So we noticed she behaves more with less lights around the house just sun light.
Here is a modification plan that has worked with ADD or ADHD students in my classroom when medication was not an option.
First: The children must be on a regimented schedule that may not vary more than one hour from day to day. I stressed that bedtime could never be later than 9:00 on a school night or 10:00 on the weekend. Always allow at least 10 hours of sleep each night, preferably 11-12. Never allow children to nap after 5:00 PM as this should be dinner and family activity time. Once the girls get in the routine of being in bed by 8:00 or 9:00, you and your husband will have some alone time.
Second: The girls must awake no later than 9:00 in the morning. This allows for appropriate breakfast and then lunch time. Beginning this routine by age 3 makes it much easier to move on to an earlier wake-up time once school starts.
Third: Break the day into time slots that go with the girls’ needs. For example 9-9:30 one daughter eats then gets some reading time; one daughter eats breakfast and calm play activities such as coloring, playdoh, reading AFTER they eat. Limit the TV and computer. These have been proven to over stimulate children with behavior problems. For each activity verbalize simple, precise directions and expectations. For example: “You will sit and eat breakfast now.” If she gets up again say “Rosie, this is a warning. If you get up again you will go to the “naughty” chair.
If she does sit, reward her with a sticker on the behavior chart. Say, “Good girl. You did what I told you. You get a sticker” If she does not sit, use the “time out” or naughty chair.
“Time out or naughty chair: Firmly put her in the seat (or spot) Get down to her level, look her in the eyes – say “You will sit here for 3 minutes because you (simply state what she did). At the end of 3 minutes, go to her and ask her to say she is sorry. Once she says she is sorry, give her a hug, say “I love you” and let her go back to what she was doing.
Some children go to time out willingly at first, and then they fight it. “Time out” is not finished until 3 successive minutes have past and an apology given. If she gets up, put her back and start the process over. Sometimes it will take over an hour before a successful time out. Some children have taken 2 hours. This will only work with consistency – one parent can not be the “bad-guy” both have to stick to the plan.
You and your husband must decide which are the most important behaviors to control. Start with those and add on.
For example: 1) Always keep you hands and feet to yourself (that means no hitting or kicking)
2) Never go out the door by yourself.
3) Always do what mom or dad tells you to.
Always make sure Rosie understands what is expected before giving a time-out. Do not say – “Rosie you know you cannot throw toys. Say “we’ll play with ________ now. We will not throw _________. If you play nicely you will get a sticker”
Then if she throws anything “Rosie, that’s a warning. You can not throw toys. Next time you’ll go to time out.” If she throws again, tell her what she did, put her in the naughty chair.
Fourth: Sticker chart: Each time a positive behavior is observed, verbalize it and give her a sticker. You will need to do the same for each child, so no one get's jealous.
Explain at the beginning that when the chart is filled she will get _____________. (A small reward, toy or game with mom and dad) Since she is so young, give her plenty of opportunity to get a sticker. For example: “Rosie, you shared your toy. I’m so proud of you. Put a sticker on your chart.”
There are 25 boxes. Break it up into time frames for yourself. You want her to be successful by the end of the first day. You can give a sticker for something you know she does well, like eating all of her ________. Never take stickers away; this part of the plan is positive reinforcement. Never say “You were bad today, you did not fill the chart” Say “We did not fill the chart today, we’ll try harder tomorrow.”
Five: Tentative schedule
9:00 -11:30 One child eats and then you read to them, other daughter eats their breakfast and quiet activity time.
11:30 – 12:30 Active indoor playtime
12:30 – 1:00 Lunch
1:00 – 2:00 Active playtime, outside if possible
2:00 – 4:30 one daughter nap. the other – nap and/or quiet activity - coloring, reading, board games or both if they no longer wish to nap.
4:30 – 5:30 Active indoor or outdoor activity
5:30 -6:00 husband’s home – active play with girls while dinner is prepared.
6:00 – 6:30 Dinner with everyone sitting at the table. Include all kids so they doesn’t feel left out.
6:30 – 7:00 Cleanup and bath time.
7:00 – 8:00 Reading and /or board games as a family. Calm, quiet time before bedtime.
In the beginning only focus on the girls behavior. Do not try to get work done around the house when the girls are awake. Any chores can wait until both parents are home, so that an adult is always with Rosie until her behavior is under control. Do not try to go out shopping with the girls when you are first putting this plan into action.
How to enforce time out, pick a spot or room that is safe no glass or things to break in there! And enforce this! You need to stay on track daily or they will go crazy. :) Just remember you need to stick to a schedule adjust it how you want but the bedtime is what works for nannys, and us. We have one ADHD child and a special needs child. This was made for us by a teacher of 30 yrs kindergarden experience with special needs to normal kids. So this has worked for us so it should work for you. :)
Also dont raise your voice we were told this maker them wanna fight you more. I have noticed a difference I am a loud person and have tried hard to tone down. When I get over stressed by 6 pm two 3 yr olds I am done! So I take a time out go to the store, get coffee, just a walk something for 30 mins - an hr. I come back for bed time and I am more relaxed. I call it mommy time out time, and my kids are like ok be good on your time out mommy. he he
Also have you started potty training we wait 2 weeks then started and now my stubborn one is getting there dry store trips even. :)
Good luck I hope it helps. Also we limit toys and activity's and also lots of park time if you have one near you.
Also the meanness or crankyness or screaming will be from lack of sleep. My daughter does this after 4 pm so after that she needs to be home in her room for wind down time. Or I have to put with her being cranky. She no longer naps shes tried to drop it at age 2 but by 2 1/2 we got her to nap once a week. Then that stopped and this started so she is to sleep from 8 pm - 8 am at the least if she wakes up we send her back to sleep we know how she needs that sleep and she could use more. :)