22 answers

My Teenage Son and School, What to Do?

I need help ladies. My son is in the 8th grade and it doesn't look like he's gonna move on to the 9th grade (highschool). In texas we have a standardized test that must be passed to keep moving up. We just found out he failed it again which means he will be retained. He has known all year there's bo easy outs this time. He has failed his classes all year and I told him no summer school. I just don't feel like he should be able to play and goof off all year then go to summer school and slide by. The school does offer summer school and one more shot to pass the test to go to hs, but if I let him do it there you go, he gets away with it again. What would y'all do? I lpve him so much but I just feel like he's never gonna learn. Help!!
**he has been tested for concentration issues as well as add/adhd. He came out normal in all catagories. His teachers tell me when nick wants to he does all that is expected of him, but he is" influenced" by his peers.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

That's just it! He failed because he plays allday and doesn't do the work. That's why im so mad. Ss for him will not be punishment. All his friends will be there. He does nothing allday but lay around and he's allready grounded from everything because of his grades. I feel like im just running face first into a brick wall.

God bless you Leslie! You hit the nail on the head! I guess I just needed reassuring. Love all you moms. And no no hitting up the drug house!

Featured Answers

I would let him go to SS even if it's a "treat" for him. Ground him from everything until he can show that he'll work hard in school. Hopefully, this will help. Hang in there, mom!! Good luck!!

5 moms found this helpful

I agree with Jen C. I can't imagine an 8th grader thinking of summer school as a good thing. What would he do all summer if he wasn't in summer school?

I'd send him to school, plus hire him a tutor, plus have him find/or find him a summer job or regular physically demanding chores to pay for the tutor. I'd call it his "get into high school summer bootcamp".

5 moms found this helpful

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I agree with Jen C. I can't imagine an 8th grader thinking of summer school as a good thing. What would he do all summer if he wasn't in summer school?

I'd send him to school, plus hire him a tutor, plus have him find/or find him a summer job or regular physically demanding chores to pay for the tutor. I'd call it his "get into high school summer bootcamp".

5 moms found this helpful

I would let him go to summer school, I do not see that as an easy out since he will have to miss his summer sitting in class. Seems a fitting punishment.

5 moms found this helpful

Why is he not passing? Effort or ability? Without much detail I tend to think he should go to school this summer to go into HS w/ his friends. Social development is just as important, and not giving him this last shot (he has to pass) might be something he holds against you. Let him go to school, but also give him summer "jobs" - lawn mowing, cleaning etc. to develop a sense of responsibility. IF he does well with them at the end of the summer - reward him. Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful

Summer school has homework. YOU drop him off and then YOU pick him up. Make sure you and your son meet with each and every summer teacher,at the end of the first day. Summer school is a long class time for each summer so the classes go fast. He will have to keep up.

Ask about homework. Ask them if they post homework on line.. Then make sure your son completes the homework. Let these teachers know you want to know if son does not complete the work or turn it in..

IF your son has some sort of learning difference you should already know this.. Then he may need a tutor. If it is just that he is lazy, you can change that by making sure he can not go out with friends to have them over until his homework is completed.. No spending money for the summer unless he meets your expectations.

He needs to mow the lawn each week or every other week.
He should prepare at least one dinner a week. He also needs to start doing his own laundry. Teach him how starting tomorrow.

Disconnect the TV the Video game machine each day until his homework is complete. If you have to hide the cords, hide them somewhere different each day.. Between your mattress or at the bottom of your lingerie drawer int he pocket of a winter coat in the closet, or in the tampon box are great ways to hide them.

No going out on summer school nights.

Also NO spending money, unless he completes the full week of classes and homework. If even 1 day is incomplete or not turned in.. no money for the weekend.

Your son needs so responsibilities so that he can feel some ownership and some successes. I am going to guess he is really bright and in the past he has done the minimum work and has passed. But now that will not work.

The TAKS test for the average kid is not hard.. Most of the kids we know say it is boring. They are shocked to learn someone has not passed it. IF your son would do the classwork, he could easily pass the test.

Has he been taught how to take the test. Read the questions first, then read the Question.. Use the pencil to underline the answer from the passage. Then go back and re read it and make sure the underlined passage matches one of the answers offered..
I used to tutor boys for the TAKS.. Most of them just got lost in all of the boring reading that was required.. The math problems are almost totally math situations.. so again having to read through it was boring..

5 moms found this helpful

I agree with D.M. He should be allowed to go to summer school. I also think his social life should depend on how he does. If he is doing the work, passing the classes, being responsible at home with his chores etc...then he can hang out with friends. He needs to know how serious this is. Then, if he doesn't pass and has to be held back and he'll see that it was a consequence of his actions (not yours). Best wishes!

5 moms found this helpful

I would let him go to SS even if it's a "treat" for him. Ground him from everything until he can show that he'll work hard in school. Hopefully, this will help. Hang in there, mom!! Good luck!!

5 moms found this helpful

Have you had him tested, Mom? It could be that he actually has a learning disability that no one has caught. Some kids play because they cannot figure out school, especially when things get harder.

Can you afford tutoring this summer? I would send him to summer school and get tutoring, and make him earn his privileges, whatever they are. That should include him getting to have his phone, TV, computer, X-box, friends, etc. Summer school is just more school, and he gets no fun without you seeing the actual work he is doing. Your summer school teachers don't have as many students, and you very well may be able to work closely with them to know what he is and isn't doing.

Having to go to school for a straight year may be just the kick in the butt that he needs, knowing that he'll have to do it again. He may not be college-bound - not everyone is - but he NEEDS to graduate from high school. Give him the means to do that, whether it's summer school or not.

There are some kids who are so close to failing that they end up doing evening school and getting what amounts to a GED (I'm not sure if that's in every state). I had a friend whose son did that. She had him work during the day so that he understood responsibility. (It was either that or send him to a boys' home.) It worked. He shaped up and ended up graduating night school. (I went to his graduation.) He did go to IT Tech school and is married and has a job. He wasn't a good student, but he has a job now and a good life, which is what we all want for our children, whether they work in professional jobs or not.

I really do hope that you will have him tested for LD's. It sure would answer your questions if you find out that this is his underlying problem. Then he should get the support he needs from the school system.

All my best,
D.

5 moms found this helpful

I would make him go to summer school. Whether his friends will be there or not, he is still going to have to put in the effort, and if he doesn't then he gets held back.....

I am really not sure what keeping him out of summer school is going to teach him??? Maybe you could help me to understand what you mean by that. Why would that be a good punishment?

4 moms found this helpful

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