J.B. asks from Cincinnati, OH on September 28, 2006
My Son's Sleep Issues
I have an 9 mo. old son who won't nap unless he's being held. He doesn't do great at night either but not as bad as the nap sittuation. I know al about the whole let them cry it out bit but he just stands in his crib and screams for HOURS. Even when he's comforted and put back down he screams. At night he falls a sleep with his nursing and will sleep well for 4 hrs. and then get up and need to be rocked back to sleep again.
Here's the complicating issues though:
He and his 31/2 y.o. sister share a room so I don't want to let him cry ecause he wakes her up.
I work 4 days a week and we have recently changed sitters 2x's in the last 3 weeks.
He's at the peak of the who separation anxiety phase.
He's out grown his swing so I can't put him there for nap times.
And really I do not believe in ther Ferber method (especially since he's recanted most of his own theory.)
I would really appreciate someone's perspective and creativity with this issue. Thank You so much.
So What Happened?™
Thank You so much for all the fantastic input. Well we're doing better but not perfect. I can't move him out of his sister's room because we don't have another bedroom. This should make you all laugh...the crib won't fit through the door way to move him to our room. My son eats any solid that's safe at this age so I've worked hard to be sure that in addition to protien and veggie he gets some carbs for dinner. He's adjusted to the sitter and is napping well there and napping better at home. He still wakes up in the night but he talks for about an hour and lays back down to sleep. I haven't got him attached to a lovey yet but I'm working on it. So once again I thank you for all your advice it was very useful.
Featured Answers
B.T. answers from Cincinnati on September 30, 2006
My son will be 3 in November. Leaving him in his crib to "cry it out" ended up in him making himself throw up, so we just let him sleep in the bed with us until he fell asleep and put him in his crib once we knew he was asleep=)
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J.Z. answers from Toledo on September 28, 2006
Have you tried laying down with him and letting his sleep next to you for awhile? That way, he knows you are near, but you are not actually holding him. I would stroke his head or back, but let him sleep on his own next to you. I found that my son will fall into a deep sleep when I am next to him and then once he is asleep, I could put him in his crib without him waking up. I know whenever I would hold him, it was like he knew I was waiting for him to go to sleep so I could drop him in his crib. I swear they can read your mind. Anyway, I had the same problem around 9 months, but now my son is almost 2 and he started sleeping 2 1/2 to 3 hours for nap time and all night long (8-9 hours)after I did this. I still hold him until he gets to sleep at night. I know, a lot of people say not to do that, but I enjoy it and I know when he is older, he won't want me to hold him and I will miss it. I am savoring every minute with him.
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T.F. answers from Dayton on September 29, 2006
try once hes asleep wrapping him tightly in a warm blanket. and laying him against something in his bed. my son had this issue and when it got so bad that i could not function because i was so tired this is what we came up with.
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T.S. answers from Cincinnati on September 28, 2006
My advice hold him ALL NIGHT :) My daughter just turned one this month and she hasn't let me hold her since she was able to walk along things. I hate it I wish I could go back and hold her more. Soak it up while you can.
Secondly since you work I know you need to get sleep:) Have you thought of co-sleeping? You said you're nursing right? Did you do this when he was little. I did and loved it. You should check out the Dr Sears sleep solutions book. They are just about the only pediatricians who support co sleeping. My dauhgter slept in our bed in her positioner til she was almost 4 months old:)
Good Luck:)
P.S. I don't belive in the cring it out either. My friend did it with her twins and they literally screamed for HOURS. I don't know how anyone can do this to there children. My daughter doesn't want to go night-night sometimes and I hold her for a lttle bit (if she let me) then put her down and she goes right out:)
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B.T. answers from Cincinnati on September 30, 2006
My son will be 3 in November. Leaving him in his crib to "cry it out" ended up in him making himself throw up, so we just let him sleep in the bed with us until he fell asleep and put him in his crib once we knew he was asleep=)
2 moms found this helpful
D.K. answers from Lansing on September 28, 2006
My daughter had issues of the same sort. I read somewhere(but don't remember where) about comforting them while they are still in their own bed. Then gradually moving farther and farther away till you are out of the room. You can use your own judgement on went to move away and then he will learn to sleep. I would try it at nap time and bed time.
Hope this helps
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S.W. answers from Dayton on September 29, 2006
Have you ever thought about "moving in" to the room or having him move into your room? I had the same problem with my oldest when he was that age. I worked 5 days a week and was gone from him from 7:30 in the morning until 6 at night sometimes. And when he started to figure out who Mom and Dad was - well it was a rough go. I ended up moving his crib into my room for a while and once I did that he finally slept through the night. Sounds like you have had a lot of changes going on and if you are stressed - then they always seem to pick up on it and make life interesting. Both of my boys went through this so I know what you are going through. I had to do what I did in order to take care of myself - so I wasn't so on edge and tired and then I went ahead and worked with him. Once he was sleeping through the night consistanly (that being the key word) I ended up moving the crib back into his room and having a chair in there and sitting with him when he did wake up - that only lasted for a little bit and then he just started sleeping by himself. All of this took months - and a lot of patience. But I think that you will get through this too. Good Luck!!
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L. answers from Mansfield on September 29, 2006
Hi J.,
Maybe a chiropractic adjustment will help. Sounds to me he can't get settled enough to rest. The birthing process can put their spin out of alignment. I would try this. Also, you may want to check to see how many electrical things are plugged into the outlets in his room and is the room above the electrical box. There maybe too much static going on in his room. Check out this website: www.electricalpollution.com
Hope this helps. Any questions please contact me at ____@____.com
L. B
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S.L. answers from Saginaw on September 28, 2006
If it's the whole separation anxiety thing and not necessarily *needing* to be held, try putting him in his crib when he's just about asleep with one of his blankets that you've slept with or wrapped around you for awhile. Sometimes it's just mom's scent that they need to stay settled.
Good luck!
S.
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