My Son's Best Friend Is Moving. Noooooooo!!!!

This is one you cannot fix. He will just have to face it head on. Who knows, maybe once she moves he will be forced to make another friend.
Or, maybe he will be a loner all thru school. Not all people are joiners and very social. My husband was painfully shy when we met. Fast forward 38 years and he never stops talking. He talks to everyone!!!!

Can't force your son to be someone he is not. Embrace his shyness. How about martial arts. He does not really have to communicate. Who knows maybe he will be some great inventor because while everyone was just hanging out, he was diligently working on a cure of some kind.

I was painfully shy as a kid and one of my kids as the same as me and you and your son. I would bevheartbroken as well :(

How about getting him to join the school's basketball team? That might result in 'instant friend(s)'?

All he really needs is just 1 really good friend in school and he will be OK. I bet he will find some one. Encourage him to look for other 'loners' like us when he gets to be in Jr. High and encourage him to approach one and try to strike up a conversation? I really think that there will be other shy kids without friends who are in the same situation as he will be in, ya know?

Bless his heart. <-----That totally makes me sound old...and like my grandma! Sheesh!

Here's my advice other than get them together after school. Talk to a child psychologist yourself and find out ways to help him learn how to socialize. He needs help, mom. You are too close to the situation to know how to help him. If you don't, he may be consigned to a lifetime of no friends. PLEASE don't just "let" this happen because you think there's no help for being "painfully shy."

You owe it to him to get started now. Really.

They ae not moving to outer Mongolia, it's only 15 minutes away. You can arrange get togethers on weekends and they can keep in touch by phone and internet.

I know it is uncomfortable for you to make friends and your son also has difficulty. See if any of the kids he hangs out with either at school or on his swim team would be willing to come over to your house for a game night or a movie night. Provide a pizza and snacks or soda and let them get to know each other. Start slow, maybe invite the parents over and hopefully you will make a new freind also.

Lots of people are lonely. Sometimes all it takes is someone offering to be their friend.

Usually, if people worry about what others think about them, they would be surprised how little other people think about them. People, think about themselves, a lot.

I understand this is a concern for you. I had a one good friend kid also. It was all he needed. Then in middle school he had one friend in every class.
Then HS band, percussion and busyness took over. He knew how to be kind to people, he knew to work h*** o* group projects. He knew how to stay away from drugs, drinking and fights. He knew how to overlook some things, he knew how to be loyal from having all those one friend friendships. Turns out, if you learn those lessons, eventually you have collected lots of friends.

He was one of the 12 boys out of 400 in the running for class favorite this year, senior year.

Try not to fret. Talk about what kids like in another friend. Talk about what a bad friendship looks like. Sometimes they hang with bad friends because at least it's somebody. Fill the void with places to go and things to do. Become interesting over time. He will be ok. Tell him the good things about this friendship and how you know he will be able to find another because he is a good friend.

You need to pull your son out of his shell. Google "social skills classes" and see if their is one in your area. Get him involved in a drama class/camp this summer. Give him lots of opportunities to interact with others. Have him schedule his own dental appointments. Have him order the pizza and then send him in with the money to pick it up and pay. Invite a nice kid from his class to go play laser tag or miniature golf with your son. Talk to the guidance counselor at his school and ask for help/suggestions.

My advice to you is to try to come out of your shell, and make friends with some parents, so your kid can hang out with their kid. Maybe your husband can help, since he is the socialite of the family. I know it is hard, because I have been there too, with my youngest boy, who finally came out of his shell this year, at age 14. He matured finally, and now we have a houseful of his friends over here quite a lot. I never thought the day would come. Anyhow, that is the best thing that I can say is to help him by introducing yourself to some of the parents and go from there. Middle school will bring lots of new people into his life, and maybe he will click with someone then. Good luck to you both.

One thing that leaps out at me from your post is that you mention only one activity -- swim team -- and you say he doesn't really show enthusiasm even for that. Please, please help him find some activities outside school that really engage him. Note that I said "help HIM find" -- if you find things for him, he is just doing what mom wants. You really need to know him here--does he like and do well at, say, sciences in school? Get him involved in something like a Lego robotics club (this is not little-kid Legos!), or an extracurricular science activity through school like Science Olympiad. Does he like to watch movies? Then maybe he'd like to make movies -- there are county and city rec department classes for kids now for things like making short films, or doing animation, or a ton of other stuff. Talk to him! Find out what he would rather be doing with his time other than swim team -- and let him drop swim team if he wants; others will say "oh, he must stick it out" but if he is miserable and not making friends, really, why?
He will do better making friends if he finds kids with similar interests. Kids who are just school buddies or kids from the neighborhood may have nothing in common with him. He needs to think about his interests and likes.
As for the girl who's moving -- check that fact. My kid's close friend said "we're moving next summer" and she had totally gotten the wrong idea from stuff her dad had said, but her friends were all upset -- for no reason, it turns out.
I would have him keep in touch with her but you cant' cling to her just because he's shy. You and he need to work on getting him some interest-based activities he really wants to be at, and the friendships can follow based on that.

I'm sorry, I know how hard this is. My 13 yo dtr has Asperger's and has very few friends. NONE of them on the bus. On occasion when I've driven by the bus stop, she is standing by herself while 20 of the other kids all huddle together. It breaks my heart for her! Because of this, we are lucky for me to be home so we are going to have her enroll in school online next year. We are very involved in church and she has a few friends there who "get" her so she will still be interacting with kids. But you are right, there is a HUGE difference from elementary to jr high. My daughter was in a "social" group because of her AS so maybe you can check with the school to see if they have something that will help him. Otherwise, I would make sure you have his friends parents number and call to see if she can come over and hang out. You can pick her up and take her home. Maybe they can't see each other every day, but still keep that friendship in tact. I'm 46 and am still in contact with my bff from KINDERGARDEN even though we moved 6 hours away when I was about 9. Sorry this probably wasn't much help. I hope you find something that will help him. Good luck!

I was not a popular kid but I was friendly and had quite a few friends. I met my best friend in high school my sophomore year and she was super shy. She was so shy she never smiled or talked to anyone. I approached her and was friendly and we just hit it off. It turns out all the other kids later told me they though she was snobby and did not like them...that is why they never talked much to her. It was the impression she gave off bc she would not smile or talk to people. It turns out she was a lovely sweet person and over the next couple years she really branched out more. Anyway...I would make sure your son does multiple activities in school. Clubs. Music. A sport. After school events. It is ok to be shy! But I would talk to him about the impression he gives off if he does not smile or talk. Teach him to ask others how they are doing and at least show a little interest. I bet with some time he will find a new best friend...sorry he is having a tough time.

Have some more friends come over this summer (with his friend and her brother there) while they still live near you. That way he will be socializing and making new connections with the security of her there at his side. Maybe his teacher might know of some other kids that could really use a good friend.