My 3 year old son is very smart never been scared of much of anything, well he was with his granny one day and they got to talking about strangers, she told him to never get in the car with someone he don't know to turn and run. It didnt seem to bother him at the time. when he came home he never mentioned it to me. He used to lay in my room and watch tv and fall asleep, not now if you put him in a room by himself he screams and cries and says "I don't want to be in here by myself" I went to lay with him to calm him down and asked him what has him so scared, he said he hears noises and is scared the night creatures will get him. He never said anything about the strangers and I thought thats what it might be. well he went back to his grannys and then he told her he was scared a stranger would get him. I have tried to insure him mommy nor daddy will ever let anyone get or hurt him, and that there's no such thing as monsters. no matter how many times I tell him that he is still spooked. how can I help him to conquer his fears and keep him more comfortable. He is my first so I have never been through this. learning how to help him I will be able to help the one I am expecting in april when he or she gets to that. PLEASE help. Thsnks.
So far my son has not mentioned anymore about it. I thank everyone for their great advice. Almost everyone said something about spray in a bottle, me and my fiance really like the idea so if it comes back up we will try that. So if it come down to that I will let everyone know how it goes. Thank you all again for all the great advice.
I used a broom to all the bab monsters out of my sons room when something one night got him scared out of his mind and my mom told him she does not allow those things in her house.(we do live with grandma) So try that.
J. (Harvest)
Hey sweety, as a mom of four children ages varying from 4 to 11 years. I can tell you that your precious little guy is going through whats called seperation anxiety, very very common, usually starts between 2 and three and starts to calm back down at around 5. when they are real tiny mom and dad are always there, when they reach toddler stage, mom and da try to give them a little independece to move about on there own. now is when the dreams come that mom and dad wont be there when they wake up. Just keep reasuring him that yall love him and your there for him always and hell be just fine.
When my son was 4, my ex husband convinced him that there were monsters in the closet by scaring him one night. I got a small flashlight from the toy section (his had a sesame street character on it) he slept with it until he was about 8 years old. I laid beside him and showed him he could turn it on anytime he wanted to and explained that the light would make any monsters he thought he saw or heard run away and not come back. He felt comforted as long as he had his flashlight. By the time he was seven it was more of a game for him to get his flashlight before he went to bed. I found him looking out the windows at night to see the trees and just look around outside. A flashlight is safer than a nightlight that will only light up on area of a room and cause "spooky" shadows in other parts of the room that can terrify a small child. It gives him some control over getting rid of those monsters in the night. Hope this helps.
My sons both started this at 3, and it was just out of the blue. My husband sings them "Daddy Eats the Monsters" (a song he made up) every night at bedtime, and they have a nightlight and flashlight. This is something that most kids go through, especially at this age. Personally, I think it's great for kids to be afraid of strangers and not think Mommy and Daddy will always be there to protect them (because really, we won't be, and our kids need to know what to do if someone approaches them...even if we're standing right there but looking the other way). Just let him know, that he's safe in the house. Also, kids at that age will not believe you when you tell them there are no such things as monsters, because they REALLY believe there are. We've discovered the best thing is to tell them that we don't let monsters and ghosts in our house. This is OUR space, and we keep the monsters out like we keep the bugs out. That's why DH sings that he eats all of the monsters that try to come in the house. :) Your sons' fears may or may not have anything to do with the talk he had with his granny, but like I said, sometimes the fears just pop out of nowhere at that age. My boys had absolutely no fears until they were 3, either.
GL with this! You'll just have to try a few things until you figure out what works best for your son.
K. (mom of 3 boys)
I agree with the others. Kids are very responsive to action at this age and reason is not something they respond to. Find something to spray them with or a shield and be very pro-active about it, don't dismiss it. This is the age where they say kids really start to develop fears and as silly as they may seem to us, they are very real to them. And turn the TV off at night, it can cause all sorts of developmental, vision, and attention disorders, in addition to making him scared of the dark since he's used to having the light. He should know how to put himself to sleep and not need outside help.
my dughter did the same thing and i agree with the other mothers about taking action. one fun thing you can help them make is a "shaker" to scare something away. I actually made this at church camp when i was about 6 or 7.
materials: old light bulb, wooden dowel, old newspaper (shredded), paper mechee mixture and paint, markers, crayons ect.
Directions: Tape the dowel to the dottom of the light bulb. use the paper mechee to cover entire "shaker" including the handle. make sure you do plenty of layers. Let it dry completly. take it outside and bang it on something hard to brake the bulb. Let the child decorate the "shaker". At night before bed my daughter used to shake it and scare the monsters away. she kept it right by her bed just in case.
He has an awareness now that everything in his world is not safe and that can be very unsettling to them. Plus if he watches tv there are halloween things on right now and even though they seem harmless it might scare him and seeing as it is just now becoming a problem that might have more to do with it than you think. Especially if he is saying that there are monsters in the house and such, he might be just seeing it on television and kids his age tend to believe everything they are told. I have heard of parents using air freshener spray or water bottles and mark them as anti-monster spray and if your child thinks there is a monster in the closet then you can spray this and it will get rid of the monster. right now it would be hard to reason with him that there really are no monsters, but if he sees that you are taking care of the monsters then that might help set his mind at ease.
I don't know if you are religious or not, but praying before bed is a great thing. To teach him that he doesn't need to be afraid because God is with him and can help protect him. Our little girl has never really had a problem with monsters and we have never had to deal with this particular fear, and I think a lot of it is because we have taught her that in what time she is afraid to trust in God. I am not trying to push anything but it might be a good bedtime habit and would help your little one feel more at ease. I do wish you the best.
I feel your pain, it is horibble when they have an irrational fear that you can't seem to calm. My daughter went through some stuff like this so I asked a friend who is a therapist what to do. She suggested that we get a spray bottle, like the one's you use for watering plants, fill it full of water and food coloring, any color. Then write on it anti-monster serum and before bedtime let him see you spray his room with it, especially around his windows, door, closet door and under the bed. You could try letting him spray it too. It's one of those placebo effect things. I know that it sounds crazy, but at this stage they are still young enough to be fooled. You might also ask your mother not to talk to him about things like that without your ok first. I know how mom's can be, but if you explain his irrational fear, maybe she will understand. Trust me I know it sounds crazy, but it worked for me, let me know if this helps. Good luck.
I agree w/ the other moms, create a tactic that embraces his fears - instead of trying to make him forget about it. Play along, maybe even go on monster hunts with a sword or something! They all go through this - i don't feel it's solely because of what his grammy said - it's very age apropriate!
I think all the advice you have gotten is great! My daughter and I used to put a "shield" all over our house so the monsters and bad people couldnt get in. Everynight we would run from room to room to put the shield up. It really worked great!
Hi DL, I know I'm going to sound weird compared to all the other mom's, but have you thought of asking your son to draw what he see's? I am a very gifted person and I'll leave it at that. My two kids come to me from time to time and tell me there is a man standing in their room. My son is 4 and my daughter is 3, but I always go in the room they tell me, and I ask for whatever is in there to leave. Once they see me talking to or asking whatever is in there to leave, they usually calm down for that moment. Sometimes they are persistant on whatever is in there. So I have to get forcefull with my wanting it to leave. I will say that I do believe in the after life, and I do believe that children are sensitive when it comes to spirits. Don't get me wrong, but I'm speaking only what I know from experience. I know this is not the answer you seek, but please take it as a option. Or just my opinion on it. If your son was to draw out what he see's or get better detail in what he hears, I advice you to look carefully and maybe even get a priest to come and bless your home. Have a great day! (CN)
This may seem really silly but I think it works on the level of a 3 year old...get your vacuum cleaner and tell him that you are sucking up all the bad strangers so that they won't be in his room anymore. It's easier for a child that age to relate to since they really don't have any idea what "stranger" means. Give it a try.
I liked Laurie's response that is a neat way to help. Another way is maybe place something infront of the window like some cloth that he picks out to be his "shield" like on stare track or most kid shows that shows space ships and stuff. When you put it up be sure during the day or when he is not in the room it is pulled up or back. Then at night or when ever he is scared of the strangers comming to get him both of you put it down to cover the window to keep them out. My daughter is afriad of closet doors being open so we have to make sure it is closed at all times of the night or she wont sleep so I understand where you are comming from. Good luck.
D.,
I was havn't a few problems with my kids and bedtime and monsters and overactive imaginations! With both my daughter Katelyn 7 and my son Myles 4 and when my daughter would mention something even if my son hadn't thought about it, it would just instagate things with him. I found 4 different things that helped, one: night lights, as simple as it sounds it makes a big difference, let him go and pick one out that way he feels he's a part of it I found they have a big selection at both Target and the dollar store. Two: I have a book I will read to them on EXTRA scary nervous nights and it really seems to help it's all about this bear and the noises he hears that he thinks are monsters but after he investagates they all check out! It's called: Brave Little Bear by Rory Tyger. Three: this is something my husband came up with he sets up all their stuff animals all around them on their beds, on the floor and tells them that that is their protectors and that their protectors will protect them throught the night and keep them safe. The last idea I have for you is to get a special bottle put a little glitter in it, some water and some perfume, something flowery, and smelling nice don't let you son see you mix this up, but make a lable for it saying "Monster Spray" and take it all around his bed at night and spray the area to keep the monsters away with the "Monster Potion!"
Good luck! Let me know if any of this helps you!!!!
~C.
What helps my kids when they get scared is I have a bottle that use to contain body spray. I put water in it with alittle perfume or body spray. and I wrote on the bottle with a black sharpie. My new potion is called MONSTER AWAY!! When my kids get scared I get the bottle spray all over the house. I send it with them when they go to someones house to spend the night. It works wonders.
Jenn
